A Promise to Keep

by Susan Gable

  Greg and Finn had been right, damn them.

  He loved Ronni Davidowski. Ronni Mangano. And it looked as if her husband was going to live.

  All those years of not wanting anything more than thirty days with a woman had caught up with him.

  As he was fond of saying, paybacks were a bitch.

  The woman he wanted, he still couldn’t have. Not the way he wished to, anyway. He wanted his ring on her finger. His babies in her belly, with Nick as their big brother to look up to.

  Wanted her forever.

  And yet, when she stumbled toward him, with tears he wasn’t sure were from joy streaming down her face, he knew one other thing with total certainty: he couldn’t have her, but he couldn’t walk away from her again, either.

  ###

  “Don’t leave me,” she murmured some forty minutes later, as he settled her on her queen-size bed. He’d repeated the ritual of removing her shoes and socks, but she’d crawled between the sheets without shedding anything else. “Stay with me. Please?”

  She rolled onto her side with her back facing him, extending one hand out behind her. “Hold me. You’ve got to be tired, too. I don’t want to be alone now. Sleep with me.”

  Though Hayden was utterly exhausted, his body went rock hard at the thought of climbing into bed with her. “If I get in there with you, we’re going to do more than sleep.” If he couldn’t even have thirty days with her, then he’d take what he could get. If that meant one day, hell, one hour...he’d take it.

  She waved her hand. “Sleep first. More later.”

  Though he wasn’t sure she knew what she was saying, he toed off his shoes and socks and shed his T-shirt and jeans. Wearing only his briefs, he slid into the bed, curling around her. The curve of her breasts grazed his forearm as he wrapped her in his embrace.

  “Mmm. Nice.” She wiggled, grinding her denim-covered cheeks against his erection, sending pulses of pleasure through him. “Sweet dreams.”

  Erotic dreams, more likely. Still, holding her seemed right. He surrendered to sleep, praying that when they awakened, she wouldn’t freak out, finding him in her bed.

  Hours later, when he stretched and knuckled his eyes, the setting sun was slanting beams beneath the shade on the west-facing window, filling the bedroom with fiery light.

  And he was alone.

  He propped himself on his elbows. “Ronni?”

  A cabinet slammed in the bathroom. She appeared in the connecting doorway wearing a purple satin kimono. She tugged at the edges, as if to make sure it covered her.

  And all he wanted to do was take it off.

  “Sorry. Did I wake you?”

  “Not exactly.” He was fully awake now, though. Awake and on his way to ready. “Didn’t expect to find you gone. Whatcha up to?”

  She hesitantly picked her way across the bedroom to stand beside the bed, one hand fisted at her side. “Just showered and stuff.”

  “If you’d waited, I’d have been more than happy to wash your back.”

  A charming blush colored her cheeks.

  “What’s this?” He reached out, tapped her closed hand.

  Her fingers slowly unfurled, revealing two condoms in her palm. The plastic crinkled as her hand trembled. “At the hospital, you said it was time to take care of me. I—I agree.”

  Hayden rose to his knees, shifted to the edge of the bed. He encircled her waist with his arms, pulled her flush against him. “Oh, I’m going to take care of you, babe. I’m going to take good care of you.” He skimmed his lips over hers, a tease, a taste, a promise of things to come. Then he slanted his head and plundered her mouth fully, dancing his tongue with hers until the muscles in her body softened and she leaned into him.

  He disengaged, running his fingertip over her now plump lips.

  The slightly dazed but eager expression on her face captured exactly how he felt. “Hold that thought. Give me five minutes. Maybe six. No fair that you’re all fresh and clean and I’m not.” He leaped from the bed, spun her by the arms and sat her on the edge of the mattress. “Don’t go away. Five minutes.”

  Ronni picked at the hem of the kimono as he vanished into the bathroom, giving her a terrific view of his gorgeous butt in his skin-hugging undershorts. Soon enough she’d be seeing it, touching it, au naturel.

  The thought both thrilled and terrified her. She’d only ever been with Ian and Scott. And since Scott had obviously needed more than what she could provide in bed...

  Still, Hayden had demonstrated his desire for her.

  The shower turned on moments later. She set the condoms—who’d have ever thought she’d be raiding the just-in-case box she’d bought for Nick?—on the night table. Entertained herself by imagining Hayden naked in the shower. Lathering every inch of his body.

  It kept the guilt at bay for a moment, anyway.

  “I deserve this,” she told herself softly, staring at the carpet. “At least once, anyway.” Hayden had been totally amazing during the time in the hospital. Not only had he taken care of her, but Vera, as well. And more than once Ronni had returned from making a phone call to find him wiping drool from Scott’s chin, though he’d always made the tissue vanish and been feet away from the bed by the time she’d actually gotten into the room.

  Shouldn’t have surprised her, given how hands-on he’d been with Ian’s care. Still, this wasn’t his brother.

  It was her husband.

  The husband she was about to cheat on.

  Life is for living, Ian’s voice whispered across her memory. Promise me you’ll never stop living.

  “Now there’s a woman who’s not thinking sexy things.” Hayden’s deep bass rumbled from the bathroom doorway. “I told you to hold that thought.”

  “Sorry.” She swallowed the lump in her throat and raised her gaze to look at him. She never made it as far as his face.

  A water droplet broke loose from his collarbone. She followed its path, down his eight-pack abs, until it blended with the smattering of dark hair that started near his belly button and traveled south to where her baby-blue towel rode low on his hips.

  She pressed her lips together.

  He chuckled, the rich, throaty sound vibrating through her core. She jerked her head upward again, this time meeting his eyes.

  Merriment made them twinkle. “That’s more like it.”

  He crossed the room in two quick strides, setting something beside the condoms, then pulling her to her feet. He grabbed the covers with one hand, stripping them down to the foot of the bed. “Please tell me these aren’t your favorite sheets. Because I’m afraid we’re going to make quite a mess of them before we’re through.”

  “Not my favorites. Though they might be tomorrow.”

  He broke into a smug grin. “I like that.”

  He inched in front of her, reaching for the belt of her kimono and untying it. He parted the robe just enough to sneak his hands inside, wrapping them around her waist. He nuzzled her ear. “Your skin’s so soft.” His fingertips traced up and down her spine. Finding the strap to her bra. He ran one finger under the elastic. His fingers skimmed down again. Fondled the lacy fabric of her low-riding hipsters.

  She’d chosen the sexiest lingerie she owned, a gift from Tam right after she’d found out about Scott’s cheating the first time. The tags were on the bathroom counter.

  “You have something on under here,” he whispered in her ear. “Let’s have a look.”

  She was fine until he had the kimono pushed low on her shoulders. Then she clamped her arms to her sides, stopping the slide of the satin any farther. She’d had a baby. Had he ever been with a woman who’d had a baby?

  “Okay.” He brushed his mouth over her collarbone. “No rush. We’ve got all night.”

  “Nick—”

  “Nick is okay right where he is for one more night.”

  “Tomorrow—”

  Hayden pressed his fingertip to her lips. “No talk about tomorrow. No talk about five minutes from now. This is all abo
ut the moment, Ronni. Right now.” He kissed her. “This moment.” He nibbled her shoulder. Trailed his mouth along the curve of her neck. “This one. Get it?”

  She nodded.

  “Good.” He sat down on the bed. “I’m not going to take anything you don’t want to give, Ronni. So...whenever you’re ready to slip off that robe, I’m ready.” His eyes blazed with smoldering heat as he leaned back on his elbows, abs tightening in a way that made her long to touch them.

  Made her wish that damn towel would loosen and fall.

  “You’ve got gorgeous legs. I can’t wait to feel them wrapped around me.”

  Emboldened by his compliment, deciding it was time to fish or cut bait, she shrugged off the kimono. It pooled around her feet. Leaving her standing before him in only the hot-pink, lace-covered pushup bra and matching panties.

  She shivered.

  His eyes widened. He drew in a deep breath. “Beautiful. Did you put those on just for me?”

  She nodded, watching him through her lashes.

  “Thank you.” He rose from the bed again. “You give. I give.” The towel joined the puddle of purple satin on the floor.

  After a quick glance confirmed what she’d suspected—the man was built everywhere—she did her best not to stare.

  He moved behind her, stroking her shoulders. His fingers lingered on her bra clasp. “This is beautiful. And I’m glad you wore it. But let’s get rid of it. Okay?”

  “Okay.”

  “Thank you.” He placed his lips on her left shoulder blade while making short work of the clasp. A gentle push sent the straps sliding down her arms. He moved his mouth to her ear. “Take it off.” His tongue traced the edge, then nipped at her lobe.

  She shuddered as electric currents traveled from her ear to the apex of her thighs.

  And he hadn’t even touched her yet. Oh, yeah. She’d chosen the right man to be bad with.

  She tossed the bra on the growing pile.

  He skimmed his hands down her back again, then grasped her hips, rubbing the lacy material there. His thumbs lightly stroked her cheeks. “Panties now or later?”

  If she was going to be bad, then dammit, she might as well be bad. Stop worrying. Live it up. If this turned out to be her only chance with him, she wasn’t going to be passive. “Now,” she said, and whisked them to her feet, then flicked them away with her toe.

  She spun around, placed her palms in the center of his chest and pushed him onto the bed.

  A moment later, she’d straddled his abs, pinning his hands over his head.

  He grinned up at her.

  “What?” she asked.

  “You never stop surprising me. And that’s a good thing. Go ahead. Have your wicked way with me.”

  She leaned down, pressing her breasts against his hard chest, keeping his hands captive. Just as she went to kiss him, he said, “I was going to give you a massage to get things started. But this is much better.”

  She sat back up. “A massage?”

  He nodded. “What did you think the oil was for?”

  She looked over at the table, then jumped off him, shoving him toward the edge of the bed. “Never let it be said that I interfered with your seduction plan.” She threw herself facedown in the middle of the mattress, arms above her head.

  His rich, deep laughter warmed her.

  A bottle cap snapped open. He rubbed his hands together, then knelt alongside her, beginning with her shoulders. Oil lubricated the movements of his fingers.

  Magic. The man wove magic with every stroke. Every once in a while his erection would graze her, igniting another firestorm of desire.

  “So beautiful.” He reverently laid one hand on her ass, caressed the skin. “Can I massage here?”

  “Oh, hell, yes.”

  He chuckled. “You’ve embraced the spirit of the exercise very nicely.”

  He rose from the bed, asking her softly to turn over. She complied, to find him facing the nightstand again, pouring more oil into his palm.

  Giving her a front row seat to his naked butt. She sat up for an even closer look. There was something... “Is that a tat? You have a tattoo on your ass? What’s it a picture of?”

  He froze. His glutes twitched. She shifted to her knees to examine it. A shield with four crossed swords.

  Ian’s name was inked on the shield, along with the year of his birth. And his death.

  “Ohmigosh. You did that for Ian? On your ass?”

  Hayden’s shoulders lifted, the play of his muscles entrancing this close. “It was the only place we could think of to put them where Mom wouldn’t ever likely see them. Not even accidentally.”

  “We?”

  “Greg and Finn have matching tats. We got them together. The first anniversary of Ian’s death. I was on leave from the Marines. It’s what Marines do. They get inked.”

  “I’m guessing most of them get an Eagle, Globe and Anchor.”

  “Ink’s personal. There’s always a story. Just like yours.”

  Touched by his tribute, she pushed him from the bed, then stood and sidled up behind him, wrapping her arms around him. Hugging him. “I think Ian would have been pleased. Or at least amused.”

  Hayden let her hold him briefly. Then he spun in her arms, pulling her to him. Clutching the back of her neck in one hand. Crushing his mouth to hers.

  Need coursed through his kiss. Hunger. And possession.

  She opened to him, let him plunder her mouth. Gave as good as he did.

  Finally he tore himself away, raking his hand through his hair. “I’m sorry. That’s not how this is supposed to be.”

  “Show me.”

  “What?”

  The sun had sunk lower in the sky, leaving the room in comforting shadows. “Show me how it’s supposed to be. Quit stalling and make love to me before you give me a complex, thinking you don’t want me.”

  “Don’t want you?” After retrieving a condom, which he placed within arm’s reach, he sat on the edge of the bed again.

  He patted his thighs. “Sit right here. Face me.”

  She did, sliding forward until the base of his erection created friction in exactly the right spot.

  He grinned at her, rocking ever so slightly. Creating lovely zings of pleasure. He took her hand, placed her palm on his chest, as he’d done the day of the rainstorm, and held it there. Placed his other palm on her chest. “Look at me, Ronni.”

  She met his eyes, felt his heart thudding.

  “Open yourself to me, sweetheart. Not just your body. Your spirit, too.”

  Hayden poured everything he had into loving her. Everything he’d ever learned. Wanting it to be the most amazing experience of her life.

  Needing it to be.

  He showered her with kisses. Touched every square inch of her body. She gave him absolute trust. And everything else.

  The first time she shuddered against him, moaning in pleasure, he damn near lost control. And he wasn’t even inside her.

  A situation he quickly remedied, pulling her down on the bed on top of him, then rolling so he was staring down at her.

  He used his knee to urge her wider, knowing she was ready. More than ready. Edging into her was bliss. So damn tight. So damn...right. The intensity of their connection stunned him. “Don’t close your eyes,” he told her. “Look at me.”

  She locked gazes with him as he completed the process of making them one.

  “Feel me.” He swirled his hips, grinding into her.

  “Hayden.” The way she gasped his name snapped his already fragile control.

  They spiraled up and up...and when she pulsed around him, he couldn’t stop the inevitable. Something that hadn’t happened to him since his early experiments with tantra.

  So he went with it. Moaned her name. Claimed her mouth at the moment of his release. Then he pressed his face into the curve of her neck and murmured, “Mine.”

  “Hmm?”

  “Fine.” He pushed himself up on his arms as his thudding heart
began to slow. “As in, holy crap, that was fine. Amazing. Incredible.”

  She hesitantly smiled. “Really?”

  “Are you trying to tell me it wasn’t good for you?”

  The smile broadened as she shook her head. “For me? It was great. Fantastic. I just didn’t know how it was for you.”

  “Okay, I’ll tell you a secret.”

  She giggled, the sound causing just as much pleasure as the sex had. “Of course you will. You’re JabberJaw.”

  He pretended to grimace. “You just undid years’ worth of practice for me, and made me...finish...long before I should have.” He slowly withdrew from her. “Don’t move. Let me go take care of things, then I’ll be back to take care of you. And in a bit, maybe I can try again to dazzle you with my renowned staying power.”

  She yawned, pressing a hand over her mouth. “’Kay. Think we both could use a rest before another round.”

  He kissed her forehead. “You did bring two condoms. Would be a pity to waste one of them.”

  “Mmm. It would.”

  In the bathroom, though, he got a shock. The condom had a small tear at the tip.

  In all the years he’d practiced safe sex, he’d never run into condom failure.

  His pulse kicked up again. He shivered as the sweat from their lovemaking chilled on his body.

  Or maybe because of the condom.

  The enormity of the situation left him frozen. He got checked for STDs on a regular basis, and always turned up clean, in no small part because of his fussiness in choosing partners. And Ronni had mentioned the emotional pain and frustration of having to get herself tested after she’d discovered Scott’s cheating, so he didn’t have huge concerns in that area.

  But that she could get pregnant...

  The sudden wave of joy staggered him. He leaned against the bathroom vanity.

  If she got pregnant—with his child—she’d have no choice but to divorce Mangano. It would be pretty obvious it wasn’t his baby bump.

  And Hayden wanted her badly enough to hope it worked out that way. So despite that it would normally never occur to him to keep something of this magnitude from a partner, Hayden decided to. It would be his...he wrestled with even thinking the word...secret.

  Fate had been at work with their relationship all along. He wasn’t going to mess with destiny if it had plans for their future. He would, however, make sure Ronni knew how he felt about her and where he stood.