You Are My Reason (You Are Mine Book 1)

by Willow Winters

  Financially, with my business in shambles and the money tied up in contracts I’m obligated to fulfill but can’t, I’m fucked. I was smart enough to incorporate the business as an LLC, though. Personally, all I have is my house and stocks. It’s nothing compared to her bank account. But I’m stable and when the contracts are finalized and the business assets are split, I’ll be able to give her even more. I’m surprised she hasn’t asked, but I’m prepared if that’s a concern for her.

  My eyes focus on the deep red petals scattered on every surface. I want her. I don’t care about anything else anymore.

  The only thing I give a damn about is making Jules mine in every way.

  I don’t want her to tell me no. I can’t stand the thought of her turning me down or worse, if simply asking her to be my wife could push her away.

  It doesn’t matter how fast she is if she runs though, how quickly she’ll turn me down and try to hide. I’ll find her, I’ll catch her and I’ll wait for her. Always.

  I close the small black velvet box, making the vision of the four-carat, cushion-cut diamond vanish and shove it into my pocket. Letting a heavy breath leave me, I turn and look at the living room. It’s obvious. So damn obvious that I’m going to propose.

  The second she walks in here and sees the crystal vases of deep red roses on every surface, she’s going to know what I have planned.

  I can see her now, standing in the doorway, gripping onto the frame while her beautiful blue eyes go wide and she breathes in the floral scent. The lights are low and the tea lights are scattered.

  I’m not a romantic man by nature, but for her and for this ... Hopefully for the start of our lives together, I can do romance. All for her. I’ll pretend to be someone else until both of us believe it.

  At the sound of the doorknob turning, my heart skips in my chest, hammering harder than I anticipated. I take a step back, pulling the box from my pocket and preparing to get down on my knee. My blood heats and anxiety suddenly washes through me. It’s really happening. I’m really going to ask her to marry me. The thought itself calms me.

  Of course I am. I love her.

  I run my hand through my hair as she steps forward enough to come through the doors. I thought she’d be astonished by the sight of the room. I imagined her taking it all in, but she’s only looking at me.

  “Julianna Lynn Summers, I would be honored—” I start and already I’ve fucked up. I had this damn thing rehearsed. I thought I had it all memorized but having to look up at her, and not knowing what she’s going to say … I stumbled over my words.

  Jules covers her mouth with a gasp, letting the front door shut slowly behind her. Her shoulders hunch forward some as her purse falls to the ground. I knew she’d be emotional; I just wish the shock would wane so I could see which side of her was winning out. The side that loves me and wants to live in the moment, or the side stuck in the past and afraid to move on.

  Jules takes a few steps forward when I don’t continue, her thin heels clicking on the polished wood floors as she places her hands on my shoulders and starts to lower herself to the ground, but that’s not how I want her. I don’t know how I’m able to wrap an arm around her long legs and look up at her, still holding the ring out although she’s staring into my eyes. Her skin is soft beneath my touch.

  “Jules, I love you and I want to spend every day of my life with you.” I hesitate to say the words but I have to, even if she says she can’t. “I want you as my wife,” I tell her and watch her facial expression crumple with a hint of pain reflected in her eyes as I say the words.

  “I love you too, Mason.” She barely gets out the words as she covers her face with both her hands and then wipes under her eyes. Her eyes are glossy with tears and her voice is choked as she says it again. “I love you and I didn’t know if I could …” Hearing her start her confession breaks my heart and I rise just enough to hold her. She wraps her arms around my shoulders, gripping onto me as though she needs me to stand. And in so many ways, she does. She needs someone there and I’ll always be that person for her.

  So long as she’ll let me.

  She pulls away slightly, trying to pull herself together as she brushes her hair out of her face and looks away, taking a calming breath.

  “I want all of you, Jules,” I tell her as I cup her chin in my hand and force her to look at me. “When you’re upset, I want to know so I can make you smile. When you’re angry, just tell me. I’ll let you take it out on me however you need, then make you cum so hard you’ll forget you ever felt anything other than bliss. I want the real you. Always. I never want you to hide from me.”

  Those lush lips part and a soft breath escapes her as she stares into my eyes. She’s searching for something. She better not fucking wonder if everything I’ve just said is true or not.

  “I want the same from you, Mason.” I’m surprised at her response. I stay still on the ground, wondering how she could think for a second I wouldn’t share all of me with her. Not my past, though. She doesn’t know shit about that and she never will. None of it. I’m going to fix it all and keep it hidden in the shadows and buried nine feet deep where it all belongs.

  She kneels on the floor in front of me and takes my jaw in both her hands, planting a soft sweet kiss on my lips. Her touch calms all my worries. It dispels the demons threatening to surface. She does this to me. She makes me a better person and I desperately want to be that man for her.

  She speaks with her eyes closed, her lips close to mine and her hot breath filling the air between us. Her long, thick lashes are damp with her tears as she tells me, “I love you for you. The good and the bad. And I do want to be with you, Mason.” Her voice is pained and I can’t help but reach out and hold her, pulling her closer to me. “I need you,” she whispers.

  I kiss the crook of her neck. “All I need is your love.”

  “You have it, Mason.”

  She has yet to answer; I need to hear her tell me yes. I want to be good enough to be her husband and if I’m not today, then tomorrow I’ll be better. I’m determined and she needs to know that. I put my hands on her shoulders.

  “I love you, Jules. Will you marry me?” I ask her, looking deep into her eyes.

  She gives me a sweet smile, almost a shy one as she sniffles and finally gives me everything I need by saying, “I love you too. Yes.” Her words come out as if it’s obvious. As if it’s only natural.

  I finally breathe a deep sigh of relief, heaving in the air and holding her close to me. I stand up, still carrying her and swing her in my arms as I rise.

  I kiss up her neck and every inch of her exposed skin, making her let out a small, feminine laugh and push away from me slightly. This is the only kind of pushing I ever want her to do again. From this day forward, she’s mine.

  I only set her down so I can take out the ring from the box. I watch as Jules’s eyes widen once again. “Oh my gosh,” she says softly, eyeing the ring as though it’s the most beautiful thing she’s ever seen.

  “Do you like it?” I ask her as I slip the box into my pocket and hold the ring out for her.

  She bites her bottom lip as she nods vigorously and says, “Mason, it’s beautiful.” Finally, she looks up at me as I slip the ring onto her finger. “I love it,” she whispers.

  A small breath leaves her as she rubs her fingers over my five o’clock shadow and gently kisses me. I’ve never felt anything like what I feel for her. Seeing my ring on her finger makes it seem as though it’s all going to be all right.

  As long as the past will stay buried where it belongs.

  Julia

  Lies lies go away,

  The sins are all from yesterday.

  We tried to run, you tried to beat us.

  Now we’re ruined, left defeated.

  The frame clicks into place and I turn it over in my hands and smile. I straighten my back and hold up the heavy silver frame. This isn’t for hanging out here where everyone can see. It’s silly really, but I wanted it fr
amed.

  My engagement ring clinks against the silver frame as I hold it up, the sunlight from the large bay window in Mason’s house, well our house now, reflecting off the glass as I read the words.

  A New Love and New Beginning.

  It’s a picture of us from the first article about us that was run in the papers. Back when I didn’t know how to feel about the two of us. When I was riddled with guilt and pain and not seeing things clearly, I hated that we were in the papers at all. But I loved the candid photo.

  I happened to come across it online the other day and when I read it, I lost it. Mason had to come in and find out why I was crying. He’s always worried that I’m going to break down. I wish he wasn’t so concerned for me. Yes, I’m emotional, but I know what I want. I want him. Something as simple as this article shouldn’t get me so emotional, especially since half the facts aren’t even true. But I love that our story has a beginning that was captured. I love that everyone around us knew.

  I would never have thought that this article would give me a sense of pride and bring back a memory I want to be reminded of. A night when two lost souls knew they needed each other, even if we were too blind or stubborn to see it, we felt it.

  “Finally,” I say. It’s framed and perfect. Just how I wanted it.

  I hear Mason’s rough chuckle as he walks into the kitchen and wraps his hands around my hips then plants a kiss on my shoulder.

  I have to close my eyes as he hums and places his hand on my lower belly. He wants a baby. The very thought warms my heart and makes my head fall back against his broad chest. Wedding first, though. I want it all with him.

  “Soon,” I say softly with my eyes closed.

  “What’s this?” Mason asks, picking up the frame and reading the article left on the counter from where I cut out the photo. I watch his eyebrows raise as he reads the first few lines and he looks at me questioningly.

  “I was going to put it on my nightstand,” I tell him softly, waiting for his reaction. I’m still adjusting to moving in. I’ll never sell my family home but I’m happier here, away from all the reminders of what used to be.

  With no response, he sets the frame down and kisses me again. It’s soft and sweet, but it lasts. My heart swells each time he kisses me like this. When he pulls away, he grins at me. It’s a cocky one that lets me know he thinks he’s got me all tied up in knots. And he does.

  “Why this one?” he asks me.

  Truthfully, I’m not sure I can vocalize why I want this particular one on my nightstand, so I just shrug.

  “I just want it,” I tell him simply and my easy response makes him smile.

  “Well if you want it, then it’s all yours.”

  That right there is why it was so easy to fall for this man. It’s simple and natural. No rhyme or reason. It just feels right.

  I set the frame down on the counter. It’s not at all a lazy weekend; I have to write like crazy to get this manuscript in before the deadline, but I’m doing everything I can to procrastinate.

  “You want a drink?” Mason offers, his voice dripping with sex appeal. He has a sexy grin on his lips and I know he wants to stay in and do bad things tonight.

  I can’t resist him, so I nod my head and his smile widens, filling me with warmth. I’ll never get enough of him and how he makes me feel.

  I pick up the envelope one top of the pile of mail sitting to my right as he heads to the fridge. The envelope tears easily and a handwritten letter slips out.

  I feel my forehead crease as I unfold the thick cream parchment. Who sends a letter like this in a plain envelope? Before I read it, I check the envelope again. My name is there, but there’s no return address.

  Dear Julia,

  It pains me to tell you this, but I can’t stand to watch from a distance as you fall into a trap. Your husband was murdered. I know this is going to shock you, but I have proof. You may not believe me but I pray that you do.

  Mason Thatcher murdered him. Don’t trust him. Don’t let him know that you know. If he finds out, you won’t be safe.

  My blood runs cold as I stand at the counter, my heart racing out of my chest. There’s more written, but I can’t read it. A shiver rolls through my body and everything seems to blur.

  There’s no way this is true. There’s no way, yet my fingers tremble and my gaze shifts from the letter to the man accused, standing only feet from me.

  My eyes dart from Mason’s back as he rummages in the fridge, then back to the paper.

  My heart thumps.

  Murdered. Jace wasn’t murdered. I deny it all, swallowing thickly.

  I reread the letter, blinking and taking it in. My lips move with the words, but I can’t breathe. I can’t focus.

  The handwritten letters seem to swirl together into a cloud of distrust. My vision fades and I feel so fucking dizzy. I back up slowly, pushing from the island and letting the feet of the stool scrape against the tile. Mason looks up at the noise and my weak legs barely hold me up as I grip the stool, the paper crinkling in my hand, my bare feet padding against the cold floor.

  My head shakes on its own. That’s not true. It’s not true. It can’t be true.

  “Jules?” Mason’s voice is riddled with concern and something else. Something I never registered before, but I can hear it now. I can see it on his face as I barely breathe and look up at him.

  “The—” I can’t bring myself to confess what I’ve just read. It’s a lie. It has to be a lie. What a cruel lie it is. But Mason’s response is throwing me off.

  He’s careful as he sets a bottle of beer on the counter, squaring his shoulders, all humor gone from his face and something else, someone else, stands in his place.

  “Mason?” I barely get out his name.

  “What is it?” he asks me in a voice so menacing, fear lights a fire deep in the marrow of my bones. No. I shake my head. “Mason, no,” I say as my throat goes dry and my words crack. He didn’t do anything. He didn’t even know Jace.

  This isn’t real. My fist grips the stool tighter and I struggle to react. This is a nightmare. It has to be.

  I’m caught between my need to run to somewhere I can think and the need to know the truth. I need the truth. No more lies; no more secrets.

  He promised.

  He loves me.

  There’s just no way.

  “Did you do it?” The question leaves me in a single weak breath and in an instant, something snaps into place. As if he’s very aware of what I’m saying. As if he’s been waiting for this.

  No. My body turns to ice; my blood and lungs freeze and I can’t believe this is reality. It can’t be true.

  Mason takes a step forward, around the island and it breaks me from my denial.

  It’s my cue to run, a natural instinct that takes over. The stool falls hard, crashing to the tiled floor as I take off, but Mason’s faster, gripping my waist and making me jerk backward. I cry out from fear and he releases me, only for me to fall onto the floor. His large frame towers over me, his hands up as if he’s approaching a wild animal. I feel as if I am just that. My eyes wide, my heart pounds in my chest. Thump, thump, thump.

  “Did I do what?” he asks, his eyes narrowed and with a coldness I haven’t seen before. This isn’t the man I know.

  My bottom lip wobbles, the small bit of strength vanishing as I take in the raw truth. “Did you kill my husband?”

  Mason and Jules emotionally, gripping romance continues in You Are My Hope (You Are Mine Duet book 2)! Pre Order your copy today!

  If you loved You Are My Reason, you’ll love Promise Me. Keep reading for a sneak peek or tap the title and start reading today!

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  Sneak Peek at Promise Me

  "Promise me you'll love me after this?" Those were the words I asked my first love on a high school date.

  "Always, Vi," he told me before crushing his lips against mine.

  I gave him a part of me I can never get back that night. Even worse, I gave him my heart.

  That was four years ago. Back when I was young and naive. Back when I thought we’d always be together.

  He dumped me right after graduation and left me to join the military. He said I shouldn’t wait for him; it didn’t matter that I wanted to. I would have waited for him forever, but he threw me away and left me here in this small town.

  Now he’s home and says he wants me back. Second chances don’t work in love. No matter how much I wish I could erase what’s happened since he’s been gone... no matter how much I think of falling back into his arms…

  Prologue

  Violet

  I shift a little on the blanket as the sounds of crickets from the woods behind us get a bit louder. We're alone out here on the outskirts of the state park. I can hardly breathe in this strapless lace dress, and it’s awkward sitting on the ground with it riding up so high. It’s the prettiest one I have though, and the most revealing. It’s not that it’s too tight, although it feels as if it is.