Death, Dismay and Rosé

by J. C. Eaton

  “And how do you propose we get inside? I’m sure the place is armed even if you jimmy the lock.”

  “Trust me, I know how to disarm it. Look, I’m going there no matter what. If we do get caught, I’ll say you went over there to stop me.”

  “I wish I’d never promised your sister and brother-in-law I’d keep an eye on you.”

  “So that’s a yes?”

  “It’s a yes. A reluctant yes.”

  “What are you going to tell Don?”

  “I’m going to make sure he has our lawyer’s number on speed dial.”

  “I’ll be in front of your house in forty-five minutes. Is that enough time?”

  “Yeah, I’ll choke down the gnocchi or ravioli and hope I don’t wind up with indigestion.”

  • • •

  Theo stood on their front porch and waved as soon as I pulled up. He opened the passenger door, slid in, and reached for the seat belt.

  “I used the hand vac,” I said, “and got rid of most of Charlie’s hair. For a hound dog, he sure sheds a lot.”

  “Got news for you. Isolde is worse. That long cat hair is everywhere. So, want to review the plan with me? I’m not really keen on standing in front of the place while you fiddle with the lock.”

  “Relax. I have no intention of messing with the lock. When I was in Vance’s office I noticed the double-hung windows weren’t latched. That room faces the lake so no one will see us climb in. Once we get inside, we should have thirty to sixty seconds to punch in the alarm code.”

  “Unless he latched the windows before he left for the day.”

  “Don’t be such a pessimist. Everything will go as planned.”

  Or not.

  Sure enough, the narrow window on the back of the building wasn’t latched, and with some effort on Theo’s part and mine, we were able to lift it so that the next sound we heard was a robotic voice. “Disarm system now. Disarm system now.”

  “Wait here. Don’t crawl in. I’m on my way to the panel.”

  It was a good thing we had gotten there before the sun went down. There was enough light coming through the side windows in the building for me to get to the alarm box and tap in the four numbers that someone thoughtfully left in full view.

  “Hoist yourself up,” I said as soon as I walked back into Vance’s office. “Then close the window.”

  Theo didn’t waste a second. “Let’s make this quick. We’ll look around his desk and that four-drawer file cabinet behind it. Geez, I think the heavy curtains weigh more than the window itself. They’re horrible. Floor-length and dismal green. I think Scarlett O’Hara once wore them if I’m not mistaken.”

  “I brought my flashlight but so far, so good. Look, I have a better idea. You start with the cabinets and I’ll scan the desk.”

  “Forget the cabinets. They’re locked.”

  “Not anymore.” I held up a small key that I removed from a minuscule drawer to the left of Vance’s executive desk. “Francine has a similar desk, and believe me, I used to get into it all the time when we were kids.”

  Sure enough the key unlocked the file cabinets, and for the next fifteen or twenty minutes, Theo busied himself pulling out file folders and perusing them while I was on the lookout for anything that resembled a notebook.

  “I’m not having any luck,” I said. “How good are you at getting into a computer without a password?”

  “Seriously? That’s your next step?”

  “Uh-huh. At least it’s a PC and not a Mac. I have no idea how to operate a Mac.”

  “Probably the same way. Listen, there’s all sorts of files here: maps, photographs, blueprints . . . I’m looking for one that says ‘Permit Applications.”’

  “Good. Keep looking.”

  I took a breath and typed “Password” onto the computer. When that failed, I typed variations of Vance’s name, and when that didn’t work, I typed variations and initials for Geneva Historical Society. I even typed the numbers for the historical society’s address. Then I noticed a framed photo of a yellow car on his desk. It didn’t look like any model I’d seen.

  “Psst! Theo! Stop what you’re doing for a second. Do you have any idea what kind of car this is?”

  Theo walked toward the desk and picked up the frame. “It’s an old Karmann Ghia. Looks like the late nineteen sixties. I had an uncle who used to have one of those. It’s probably worth some bucks by now. And why are you stopping to look at photos?”

  “Spell Karmann Ghia.”

  Theo eyeballed the computer and leaned over my shoulder. “You think?” He immediately tapped in the letters that spelled the make of the car, and within seconds a screensaver with that very car appeared on the monitor.

  I grabbed Theo’s wrist and shook it. “Bingo! We hit pay dirt! Now all I need to do is open Microsoft Word and pray to the gods he kept his notes in a neatly marked file.”

  “Pray fast. It’s getting darker outside.”

  Chapter 10

  “Found it,” Theo called out. He held up a manila folder that he had just pulled from the file cabinet and waved it in the air. “Actually, there’s more than one. The files date back ten years and the folders all read ‘Applications.’ I’m going to start with this year and see what I find. Any chance there’s some blank paper on his desk and a pen or pencil? I’ll write down the names and addresses of the applications that were denied while you fiddle with Microsoft Office.”

  “Here, use these Post-it notes that were on the desk.”

  I handed him a few pens from the top of Vance’s desk in case one of them was out of ink, and then I went back to the monitor. If Theo thought he had plenty of files to check out, it was nothing compared to the Word documents on Vance’s computer. Folders such as Taxes, Associations, Letters, Grants, Museum Loan Pieces, and even one marked Local Restaurant Menus. Sheesh.

  “I’ve got to use your flashlight, Norrie. It’s getting pitch-black in here.”

  I stood, stretched, and handed him my flashlight. “I can’t believe it’s almost nine. Drat. I haven’t found a single thing that would help Alex.”

  “Keep looking. A guy like that was bound to have a ‘tell-all’ file.”

  “Yeah, or one for covering his bu— Oh my gosh, I can’t believe I didn’t pull that file up. The one marked CYA. Give me a second.”

  I clicked the file, and in a heartbeat a list of names appeared along with a notation that read “Date or dates of incidents.” Under each name was an explanation, some longer than three paragraphs, about the issues related to that person.

  I cringed. “This is way too much stuff to write down.” Hell. Why on earth didn’t I think of bringing a flash drive?

  It wasn’t the first time I went full speed ahead without thinking things through. That was the difference between my sister and me. Francine always took cautious, measured steps while I plunged headfirst into whatever situation I was caught up in.

  “It’ll take too long if I use my iPhone to snap photos. I’ll have to print it out unless you’ve got a flash drive on you.”

  “A flash drive? Seriously? This was last-minute. I’m lucky I have my driver’s license on me.”

  “Never mind. It can’t be that long, can it?”

  “Let’s hope not. Maybe the guy went for the CliffsNotes version.” Theo put the Post-it pad back on the desk. “Well, I’m finished at my end. All we have to do is wait while those pages print and then we can get the heck out of here.”

  The grinding sound of Vance’s Canon copier overshadowed the creaking, whistling sounds that emanated from the building itself and its HVAC system. At least it was a laser printer.

  “This shouldn’t take much longer,” I said. “I mean, how many people could he have ticked off?”

  “If you ask me—”

  And then Theo stopped talking. The copier still cranked out sheets of paper but there was another noise—the unmistakable sound of a key turning the dead-bolt lock in a door. I froze and held my breath. In that instant, two thing
s happened. The copier stopped making copies and the light in the hallway flooded under the closed door to Vance’s office.

  I moved quickly to where Theo was standing and didn’t say a word. Just then we heard voices and they seemed to be coming from the corridor.

  The first was a woman’s voice followed by a man’s. “That idiotic Doris. Vance wrote the alarm code on the box, and even with it she didn’t set the darn thing.”

  “Well, that was an imbecilic idea to begin with. The code to arm the place is the same code to disarm it. It wouldn’t have done any good. You could have written it on Doris Belcher’s forehead and she wouldn’t know where to find it.”

  Then the woman again, “Never mind. I can’t believe we agreed to meet here.”

  “Where else did you want to go? Starbucks, where everyone could hear us?” It was a third voice and it belonged to a woman as well.

  “We need to get out of sight,” I whispered to Theo, “but we’ll make too much noise going out the window. Besides, I want to hear what they say.”

  “Get behind those curtains. We’ll each take a side.”

  I plastered myself behind the curtain and then realized the computer was still on. Tiptoeing, I powered it off along with the printer. Then I gathered the printouts, rolled them into a coil and stuffed them under my jeans before resuming my spot behind curtain number two.

  “Might as well go into the conference room,” the man said. “I want to get this over with and get home. Damn it. I still can’t get over the fact that our names and phone numbers were in Vance’s wallet as emergency contacts. Of all things. That call from Ontario County surprised the hell out of me. If that death looks the least bit suspicious, the police will be knocking on our doors and we can kiss those donations goodbye.”

  Conference room. Donations. These must be the historical society’s board members.

  In the dark, I turned on my iPhone and used Safari to see exactly who those board members were. In less than fifteen seconds, I had my answer—unless new members had been appointed.

  “It’s the board members,” I whispered to Theo.

  “Shh. I figured as much.”

  Then the man’s voice again. “We should have done this earlier in the day, when the museum closed, and not have waited till so late.”

  “I’m sorry. I had a dinner engagement.” The first woman’s voice.

  “Never mind. I say we scour his office before the police and the county sheriff beats us to it. God knows what incriminating stuff Vance collected on all of us. You know how he wrote down every little thing and exaggerated it to the point of no return.”

  “Curtis is right.” The second woman. “I’d bet money Vance kept notes on us. I caught him once with my personal mail in his hand. I had just picked the mail up from my post office box on my way over here and set the pile on the large credenza in the hallway. Then I went to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee. When I got back, I saw him shuffling through my mail. I asked him what he was doing and he made a feeble excuse about thinking the mail was for the historical society. Poppycock! He could see those letters were addressed to me.”

  I looked down at the floor to make sure my sneakers weren’t visible. If Theo and I could remain motionless, or close to it, they might not notice us. At least the curtains were those heavy-duty drapes that weighed a ton and not the light and frilly kind or we would have been doomed.

  The sudden blinding light as someone flicked the switch forced my eyes shut. Saliva gathered in my mouth and I swore that my heartbeat had increased tenfold.

  “Turn on the computer, Mildred,” the second woman said. “You’re familiar with the system.”

  “Give me a second. There, it’s on. Oh, dear. I can’t get in. Vance must have changed the password. He was not supposed to do that. He probably did it when he came back from that weekend trip he took down south somewhere. The password for all of our computers is GHS followed by the person’s initials and the year.”

  Then Curtis’s voice: “Did he have any pets? Try one of those names.”

  Mildred again. “Vance didn’t have any pets, remember? Said they made too much of a mess.”

  “Aargh. Try his birthdate. People always use birthdates.”

  Then the second woman again. “How is Mildred supposed to know his birthdate?”

  Mildred’s voice sounded strained. “What about his birth state? It was Tennessee, wasn’t it? I remember the interview. No. Wait. Maybe it was Kentucky. Darn it. Well, it was somewhere down south.”

  “Forget the damn computer,” Curtis said. “Let’s get a look at his desk drawers. He must have kept a notebook or something in them.”

  “At least we can get into his file cabinet.” It was the second woman speaking. Loud and assertive. “It’s the same key for all the file cabinets in our building. The former director thought of that. I’ll be right back. I’ll get one of the keys from Doris’s office. I know where she keeps them.”

  I wasn’t sure how much longer I could remain behind that curtain. My back began to hurt and I found myself shifting my weight from one foot to the other. I wondered how Theo was doing but there was no way to tell.

  “I’m baaack . . .”

  “That was quick, Agnes,” Curtis said.

  Agnes. Yep, the same three names I found: Agnes Merryweather, Curtis Bloor, and Mildred Beattle.

  “I told you I knew where she kept it.”

  “You and Mildred check out the cabinet. I’ll take a peek at his desk.”

  The next few minutes were agonizing. A sharp spasm in my back all but resulted in a loud breath but I kept my mouth closed tight and instead clenched my fists so I’d have something to think about other than the proximity of Vance’s file cabinet to the window.

  Other than the sound of papers being shuffled and the occasional groan, it was pretty quiet. Then Curtis spoke. “Not a damn thing in his desk except for a bunch of binders from our committees. I glanced at them. Nothing to write home about. Any better luck with the file cabinet, Mildred?”

  “No, not a gosh-darned thing. Unless Agnes found something.”

  I watched as Agnes shoved some papers into her bra when Mildred wasn’t looking. Maybe she did find something after all. Lucky her. If so, she was pretty secretive about it. “Any incriminating notes about us must be on that computer of his.” Agnes sounded irritated.

  “Look,” Curtis said. “As long as the three of us stick together should we be questioned about our relationship with him, we’ll be fine. Board members squabble with each other all the time.”

  “But he blew those squabbles out of proportion. Lord knows what’s sitting on that computer.”

  “I know you two ladies wanted to meet as soon as possible, but honestly, we’re probably overreacting. Granted, the guy was a snit and gave all of us indigestion, but we weren’t at Kashong Point last night. So there goes opportunity right out the window.”

  “Actually,” Agnes said, “I did drive over there, but it was earlier in the afternoon. I wanted to see how their expedition was coming along. Vance made such a big deal about uncovering arrowheads from the Seneca Tribe at Kashanquash, now known as Kashong. That was the name of their village.”

  “Thank you for the history lesson. Did anyone see you leave?” Curtis asked.

  “I don’t know. I honestly don’t know.”

  “Best thing we can do under the circumstances is cooperate with law enforcement, but don’t give them any ammunition. Answer their questions but keep it short and sweet. You know they’ll be hauling us in for questioning. Probably Monday.”

  “We may have something in our favor,” Agnes said.

  “What’s that?”

  “When I went over there, a few of our volunteers said Vance had a knock-down, drag-out fight with one of those entomologists who was busying himself with insects. It wasn’t their only verbal altercation from what they said. And if that doesn’t shift the focus away from us, I can do one better. Last Monday I was in the back workroom when I hea
rd a woman threaten him. It was a Madeline Martinez from Billsburrow Winery. I asked Vance about it shortly after the woman left. He said she was a disgruntled and disturbed resident.”

  Curtis chuckled. “Got enough of those. If the deputies question us we can always mention Mrs. Martinez and those entomologists, but I’ve got one better for you. I say we bring up that old curse from Two Witches Hill. You know, the full moon summer solstice. Nothing like getting the locals all worked up over a death curse. That should take the heat off of us.”

  I gasped and quickly covered my mouth. Those buggers!! I can’t believe what schemers they are.

  “Was that you, Mildred?”

  Rats!

  Then Curtis spoke again. “Since we’re here we might as well go back to the conference room and come up with some sort of statement for the newspapers about how shocked and saddened we are about Vance’s death. Then we’ll explain that the vice president, namely me, will be taking over until a new election is held and a new museum director can be hired. Make sure his computer’s turned off. I’ll get the lights on my way out of here.”

  The next thing I knew, Theo and I were back in total darkness and Vance’s office door slammed an instant later.

  I hope they don’t take their sweet time composing that statement.

  I crept over to where Theo was still huddled behind the curtain and whispered, “Want to make our exit now or wait it out?”

  “That window creaks and they’ll hear something when we close it behind us. We can’t leave it open. The alarm system won’t turn on. I’m stiff as a board. What’s ten more minutes?”

  The ten minutes turned into twenty but we finally heard the robotic voice call out, “Armed Away,” followed by a series of annoying beeps.

  “That’s our cue. Out of here,” Theo said. “Hurry up. Those systems only give you twenty or thirty seconds.”

  It was easier climbing out than getting in, but closing the window took some effort on his part. Luckily, he managed it before the final “System Armed.”