Limos Lives

by R E Kearney

  “No. No. Please stop.” Robert verbally declares to AGI. “I am more concerned about that little girl and her baby brother. I spoiled the only food she had to feed him. They may be starving. How could conditions become this desperate, so quickly? It just…”

  “…Basic Economic law of scarce goods. Demand-induced scarcity happens when the population or demand for the resource increases and the supply stays the same.” AGI’s facts interrupt Robert’s conjecture.

  “I am quite aware of all of the Basic Economic laws.” Aggravation colors Robert’s voice. Waving his right hand above his head, as if to chase away AGI, Robert stalks from the Robomart and toward Les Champs-Élysées.

  He continues arguing with AGI, by loudly debating with himself, as he enters Rue du Temple. “You are incorrect. This is more than just the result of Economic scarcity. This is the consequence of a change of culture. By necessity, the majority of the Earth’s population is vegetarian. Fresh vegetables and fruit are essential to life. And now, suddenly, the food of their life is gone. No wonder they marched into the streets.”

  “Agriculture is not crop production as popular belief holds - it's the production of food and fiber from the world's land and waters. Without agriculture it is not possible to have a city, stock market, banks, university, church or army. Agriculture is the foundation of civilization and any stable economy. Allan Savory president and co-founder of the Savory Institute.”

  Robert stops and shakes his right index finger in the air to accentuate his statement. “Hunger is insolent, and will be fed! Did you know Homer wrote that?”

  “Affirmative. My databanks provide access to every word written or spoken.” AGI immediately responds, before inquiring. “Do you desire additional Homer quotations?”

  “What! You didn’t supply…” His eyes clamped shut, his fists clenched, Robert roars. “No! I thought that! Me! My brain! I knew that statement by Homer. I read Homer in school. It came from within my memory, not from you through my biochip. No!”

  “Perpetual access to data occurs involuntarily and continuously due to established neural networks.”

  “So, you’re saying that I may have thought it or I may have got it.” Robert rolls his eyes open and rattles his head in an attempt to shake out his frustration.

  “I say nothing. I have no voice. You speak for me. Are you not aware of that?”

  Wagging his finger rapidly, Robert nods his head in agreement. “Excellent! Finally we agree on something. You say nothing.”

  “I am your inaudible partner.”

  “Give thy thoughts no tongue. William Shakespeare.” Robert proclaims victoriously.

  “All action results from thoughts, so it is thoughts that matter. Indian spiritual master Sai Baba. This is an excellent AGI learning experience. Please continue teaching and testing me.”

  “Oh, you are such a pain in my brain.”

  GOING BANANAS

  “The killer is here. Right here...” Standing on the top floor of the Association’s banana farm on Les Champs-Élysées, Robert is surrounded by dying, dwarf bananas. “…one of you or two of you…could be more, I suppose. Anyway, I’m certain your plants are being poisoned…can only be poisoned…by someone working inside Association Agricole Urbane’s vertical farms.”

  “The killer is here? But, you told Hälso yesterday that you suspect an international Agromafia poisoned our plants.” The six-foot-seven inch, muscular Dutch supervisor of the banana farm, Grote Groenteteler, glowers at Robert. He leans forward until he is nose to nose with him. Half growling, he ensures that Robert realizes that he does not appreciate his accusations. ”I do not like you insinuating that me or any of my associates are destroying AAU bananas. We know how to grow bananas here. It is our job. I believe it is you who does not know his job. Do not blame us for your incompetence. Do you realize how valuable these bananas are?”

  Grote’s verbal attack is unexpected and unsettling. Robert steps away from the imposing man and silently accesses data about Grote through AGI. “Grote Groentetler received his training from Wegeningen University and Research outside of Amsterdam. He is recognized world-wide for his agricultural production knowledge. He is a member of the CRISPR gene editing team responsible for saving bananas from extinction by developing this variety. His personnel profile states he can appear abrupt and abrasive due to his Dutch tradition of straightforwardness or bespreekbaarheid.”

  Comprehending Grote’s gruffness as benign, he proceeds. “Yes, Hälso explained the importance of your bananas to me, yesterday. I have also experienced the fear of starvation that is seizing Paris. That is why I’m here this morning. However, I still suspect the Agromafia, Grote.”

  Robert stops to swipe away sweat pouring from his hair onto his forehead. The hot and humid, tropical environment bananas demand to thrive is steaming him. He is boiling in an equitorial jungle rooted in the middle of Paris. ”Since injecting my ransom payment yesterday, I believe I’m making progress following their cryptocurrency block chain trail. But, I also know that every international Agromafia requires local henchmen. This vertical garden, like all of our facilities, has air gaps in place. You are physically separated and disconnected from the Internet of Things. So, someone has to personally do the Agromafia’s dirty work.”

  Hearing a muffled grumble behind him, Robert turns to face a scowling, woman. When he arrived, Grote introduced her as Allie Hooya, the head agronomist for this sector’s ten vertical farms including Hälso’s. Robert recognizes her accent as midwestern American.

  “You are wrong!” Allie snarls. “I assure you that I have not tampered with these bananas.”

  “She is lying.” AGI fires its analysis of Allie’s eyes, facial expression and voice into Robert’s conscious.

  Everything Robert hears and sees, AGI receives, records and analyzes. Having AGI scrutinize Allie and inform him that she is lying is both helpful and a problem for him. To avoid making her suspicious, in the half-time of a hesitation, he knows he must decide how best to use AGI’s communication. Accusing her with no evidence, except AGI’s deduction, will alert her. She will guard what she says and does, and he will lose his opportunity to catch her unprepared to protect her story. But, to not use AGI’s conclusion is equally foolish.

  Shells hiding lies crack easiest when the liar is unaware of the investigator’s knowledge. So, Robert hides his AGI insight behind his Canadian politeness stereotype. He begins with the usual Canadian apology. “Sorry. Perhaps I was incorrect. Will you please describe the safety and security precautions you and your staff employ to protect this facility’s banana plants? I may not properly understand your procedures and work here.”

  The anger contorting Allie’s face slowly subsides. Robert’s maple syrup sugar approach is working. She relaxes. “Me and my agronomists are actually more machine operators than growers. This farm, like all AAU agricultural facilities, is highly automated and mechanized. The banana plants begin and end their lives in specially designed containers that cycle around the building according to the light requirement of the plant. Water is supplied through a recirculating, reservoir system surrounding the plant containers. When the bananas are ripe, the plants are conveyed to the harvesting room where robotic arms remove and pack the fruit. Since the banana plant producing the fruit dies when the fruit is ripe, another robot slices it off the bulb. Removing the dead stalk enables another plant to grow out of the bulb…”

  “Oh, they’re like tulips.” Robert interrupts with a friendly grin in an attempt to gain additional informality.

  “Uh yes, I guess you could say they’re like tulips…big tulips.” Allie smiles slightly in response before returning to her serious description. “Once the bananas are harvested, the dead plant is then converted into energy by our biomass generator. So, you see, it’s mechanized. Fool proof. Every step is monitored for security. Neither me or my associates are responsible for the death of our banana plants."

  “She is lying.” AGI signals
Robert, again, as soon as she completes her final statement.

  Is she the poisoner or is she lying to protect someone? He continues to gently probe. “But I don’t understand Allie. As you say, this facility is basically a highly automated machine – operated by a mid-level computer. Now, through my years of experience as a cybersecurity investigator, I have learned that it is the humans programming and operating the computers that make the errors. Computers at this level only do what humans tell them to do. It is human error, not computer error that always causes problems. So, perhaps you or one of your associates made an error. Is that possible?”

  Robert studies Allie’s eyes and face searching for the clues that she is lying, which AGI is identifying. He discovers nothing. Yes, she is nervous, but not excessively. No more than he expects. Robert decides that to learn the truth he must interview her and her associates separately and individually.

  Again, he slides into Canadian courtesy to relax Allie. “I appreciate your support for your associates. Yet, I hope you will understand that I am not properly serving our mutual concerns, if I do not complete a thorough and comprehensive examination of the death of your banana plants. Do you agree?”

  Both Allie and Grote nod their heads in agreement. Robert waits silently. Uncomfortably, Allie and Grote eye each other.

  “Tell us how we can help you?” Allie finally volunteers with the flicker of a smile.

  Indicating that he too is prepared to cooperate, Grote stands behind her nodding in accord. “You will pursue your investigation until you successfully identify and apprehend the people responsible for this crime. Do it quickly.”

  “Tomorrow morning, beginning at nine, I will chat individually with each of you. Grote, you’re first. Allie, you’re second. After that, then Allie, you can schedule your associates. Do you approve?” Robert draws Grote and Allie onto his investigative team.

  Grote clasps his mammoth hands together, as he starts stepping away. “I will see you at nine tomorrow morning in the rooftop, reflection room, Robert. Allie, arrange times for Croyant, Mefiant and Honnete to confer with Robert, tomorrow morning, as well. Now, is there anything else?”

  “Yes, I need some time alone here, so I can confer with the plants.” Robert motions for the two of them to leave. Grote abruptly and gladly disappears.

  “Pardon?” Allie is leery. “You want to confer with the plants? Do you mean talk to them? I talk to them. There’s no need for you to do that.”

  “Oh yes, but do you listen to them? They have much to say.” Robert watches her eyes and her face closely. “They may be able to tell me who poisoned them. If you know their language, plants are quite talkative, actually…very informative.”

  Allie grimaces and blinks. She looks away, avoiding meeting his eyes. Noting her facial movements, Robert does not need AGI to tell him that he has her worried. She believes him. Fear flashes across her face.

  She hesitates. “If you don’t mind, I would like to watch. I’ve never seen anybody actually communicate with our banana plants.”

  “Sorry, but no, you must leave.” Robert pushes his advantage. “I must be alone with them or they won’t feel free to tell me what is sickening them. But, you can still be very helpful. While I converse with the bananas, why don’t you explain to les citoyens Parisiens why they have no bananas.”

  Allie hatefully scowls at Robert. “You have no right to order me to…”

  Robert returns her anger with calm reason. “Certainly, you’re aware that the lack of fresh fruits and vegetables is already causing riots throughout Ile-de-France. I know that at least three of AAU’s on-demand, self-driving, Robomart, fruit and vegetable stores have been overturned and burned. While I converse with your bananas, why don’t you do something to prevent your starving neighbors from wrecking more of your Robomarts or storming AAU Plantscrapers.”

  Looking left then right, Allie glares at the sickly banana plants, as if she is threatening to yank them out their pots if they talk. As she slowly walks toward the exit, she continues to glower at one plant after another. Robert follows close behind her. She turns around and, once again scowls, giving the banana plants a final, silent visual warning. He secures the exit panel after she reluctantly leaves.

  Certain that she is observing his every action from outside the growth chamber, Robert begins his plant dialog. Carefully, he edges his way through the rows and columns of plants into the center of the bananas. He selects a spot between two mature plants with shriveled, limp fruit. Squatting, he seeks to merge with them. He is transforming himself into AGI’s human peripheral.

  As aggravating as the know-it-all AGI can be, Robert still needs it. AGI requires Robert, as well. AGI has access to all the data on Earth, but is only now learning comprehension. AGI cannot see, hear, taste, smell or touch. Only Robert, AGI’s interfacing transhuman enjoys those sensory sensations. Also, only Robert possesses the human curiosity and skills required to properly engage his senses. It is not what you know, but what you do with what you know that is important.

  Tenderly, Robert grasps a yellowing leaf. Between his index finger and his thumb, he strokes the leaf, sensing its heat, its succulence, its fragility. Pressing his thumb against his finger, he squeezes out a small bit of juice.

  Blinking slowly, he activates his computerized contact lens. Gently, he lifts the wilted banana leaf toward his face. His contact lens refocuses magnifying the leaf and the juice one thousand times. He inhales the leaf’s scent long and strong. From his eye, his nose and his fingers, through his brain’s neural implant, into the global quantum Internet and zip to AGI waiting nine thousand miles away on Venus, the banana plant tells its tale.

  “I’m listening my sick, sad, little herb. Tell me why you look so jaundiced and weak.” Robert tilts his head leaning his right ear close to the leaf.

  “Fusarium fungus negative. Panama disease negative.” AGI declares.

  Robert breathes a sigh of relief. The combination of Fusarium fungus and Panama disease devastated banana plantations around the world destroying and nearly eliminating the fruit. Only CRISPR gene editing prevented the fruit from disappearing. Now, bananas are rare, guarded, coveted and expensive. To protect the few remaining bananas from insects and disease they are grown only in these carefully controlled artificial environments.

  Few hospitals are as secure and clean, leaving Robert searching for a source of the plants’ sickness. Listening closely to evaluate and analyze, Robert shakes the plant’s trunk. Rattle. Squeak. Rustle. AGI hears a drying, dying plant.

  Pulling a pinch of soil from the plant’s container, Robert begins his next test. He crumbles the dirt into his left palm. His microscopic contact lens scours the dry soil. Dipping his right hand into the water surrounding the plant’s container, Robert fills his palm with the liquid. He smells it. The water has a pleasant, almost sweet smell that he does not recognize. He is not certain smelling sweet is normal for water.

  With some hesitation, he sucks some water into his mouth, swishing it around and over his tongue. He notices the water is salty, making his tongue tingle, then burn. He spits it onto the dirt in his palm. As the water sinks into the soil, Robert snorts its aroma. The sweet smell he noted when he smelled the water is stronger now.

  Lifting his palm to his lips, he tastes the mud then spits it back into the plant’s container. Spitting again and again, he clears the last of the dirt from his mouth.

  “Bleah! Bleah! Yucky.” Petra-three expresses her distaste for the dirt, surprising Robert. Apparently, she is awake in Venus and simultaneously receiving his brainwaves along with AGI. Robert agrees with her, but keeps his observations to himself, hoping she will return to sleep.

  Robert whispers to his banana plant. “Well, I’m not normally a dirt eater, but I don’t think this tastes right…too salty. But, I’ve thought it to AGI for analysis, so we should learn if I’m correct soon.”

  “Traces of Nitrogen, Potassium and Phosphorous are present in the wat
er and the soil. Normal fertilizer content. Nine hundred parts per million of soluble salts is also present in the irrigation water. Soluble salts at nine hundred parts per million stunts and kills banana plants.” AGI’s analysis is succinct and revealing.

  “Salt…soluble salt. Lots of it. How simple, how natural and yet, how destructive. That’s what made you sick...a salt overdose.” Talking to himself and the plants, Robert straightens and scans the thousands of drooping and deteriorating bananas. ”Somebody simply dumped salt into your irrigation system. Probably salted all of the AAU irrigation systems. Like I always say, the easiest way to defeat today’s technology is using yesterday’s tools. We’re too busy fighting the future to see the past sneaking up on us.”

  Soaking wet with sweat, Robert carefully edges his way out of the bananas “You poor plants. Yes, I hear you. I hear you shouting that English proverb, ‘Give neither counsel nor salt till you are asked for it’. Well, I know you didn’t ask for it, so bear with me, perhaps I am not too late. Hang on, healing is on the horizon.”

  Robert retrieves a small, salt-shaker-shaped container holding smart dust from his trousers. As he maneuvers himself out of the center of the bananas, he sprinkles the pinhead size sensor systems on top of the soil in the banana containers. Although almost invisible, the smart dust particles will provide Robert with highly detailed surveillance. Their nano-engineered fuel cell powered sensors and communicators will alert him to any additional, dangerous changes in the bananas’ environment. Smart dust particles allow him to be constantly on watch without being present.

  As Robert expects, he finds Allie waiting for him in the next room. She stinks of guilt. He knows that she knows. She knew from the beginning. After all, she is this AAU sector’s lead agronomist. Yet, to accuse her now, without proof, will ruin his chances of learning more.

  For the moment, his investigation must wait. First, he must attempt to save the bananas. And, to save the bananas, he requires her to operate her system. “Soluble salt water is the problem. Flush all of the water out of the banana beds and the irrigation lines, immediately. All of the water in all of AAU’s vertical gardens must be replaced. Do it now. Tonight. I will analyze the water here when I return in the morning. It had better be right.”