Lauren chatted enthusiastically all the way down the hill toward the dining hall, and I was unusually quiet. When we passed by the craft cabin, I saw Devin, recognizable from behind by his long hair, sitting at one of the tables. My heart started racing. It was a combination of delight and relief to know he was okay.
“I’ll meet you there,” I said.
Lauren looked over to see what had my attention, saw Devin, and nodded to show she understood where I wanted to go.
“Go get your man,” she said and walked off.
I started to make my way over to the craft cabin. It was a little odd he’d be there considering it wasn’t open for crafts now, and it wasn’t his bunk anymore. Then as I drew closer, I realized why he was. Someone with tight curly blond hair was seated across from him at one of the picnic tables. By their body language, it appeared they were having a serious conversation.
Stopping next to the last pine tree before the clearing, I watched them converse. She was doing the talking, and he didn’t appear to be responding. And for one brief moment, Devin looked over in my direction, but he didn’t smile. Then he quickly looked back at the blond, giving me the hint not to interrupt them.
It didn’t seem like they were making any motions to get to breakfast. Glumly, I put my head down and walked to the dining hall line. But eating was the last thing I cared about.
I wondered: Who was the woman with Devin? Then I remembered the new staff and campers arrived yesterday, so she was more than likely a new counselor here for July’s session. But what did she want with Devin?
Lauren motioned for me to come over once I had my tray of food.
“That was fast. How’d it go?” she asked.
“It didn’t. He couldn’t talk.” I knew I sounded depressed.
Lauren was no longer looking at me but across the room. She tugged at my arm. “Here he comes now.”
Looking up, I saw Devin and the mystery woman enter the dining hall and grab trays. He turned to find a seat, side-glanced my way, and caught me watching him. Blowing me off, he went another direction and sat down. But we were facing each other, so I could watch him. The woman followed him and took a seat across from him.
Lauren began talking to the girl next to her, which allowed me to watch Devin without interruption. I tried to see if he and the blond continued talking. So far, he was only eating and really didn’t interact. Good.
After the announcements, we were excused to get ready for our family groups. Abruptly, I stood up to leave, startling Lauren. She realized when she saw Devin getting up to leave that I was trying to catch up to him. Only five feet separated us as I kept my eyes fixed on his hair until we were both outside the door. When he noticed me walking beside him, he didn’t greet me.
“Is something wrong?” I asked quietly when he’d looked in my direction.
“No. But I can’t talk right now.”
“Okay. Well, when?”
“I’ll see you later, Dahlia. Have a good time in family group,” Devin said. He sounded polite, but his words lacked warmth.
I frowned. “Thank you, Devin. May your family group go well, too,” I said in an equally polite way.
He looked at me curiously. “Impersonating me now?” His eyes twinkled.
“Oh, did I sound like you? I thought I just sounded cold.”
His lips twitched, and it looked like he was fighting a smile. Then some male camper interrupted us and tried to ask Devin a question. I spun around and walked off the other way in a huff, feeling pretty sure he watched me walk away.
***
Family group was the last thing on my mind, but I showed up anyway—as if I had a choice to skip it. Blake unexpectedly greeted me with a hug. It made me wonder if Devin greeted the girls in his group with hugs.
Already seated around the circle were some of the same campers from June, then there were some new faces. I avoided Luke but sat beside Aaron.
“We found a mouse in our cabin last night. I’m going to call him Ollie,” Aaron informed me.
Somehow, I engrossed myself in his story and asked him questions. He hoped to keep Ollie for a pet.
When family group ended, it was time for lunch. Devin would probably avoid me, but I still liked knowing we were in the same place at the same time—speaking or not.
And sure enough, Devin was already at a table when I arrived for lunch. Without waiting for Lauren, I walked over and boldly set my tray down beside him and sat down. I didn’t care who saw us. If he wanted to make a scene by moving away from me, then he could.
When I looked at him, he glanced slightly at me, then away. Lauren didn’t sit with us but allowed me an opportunity to find out what was going on.
When I saw the chance to speak discreetly, I took it. “Do you want me here?”
He turned to look at me, and our eyes locked. Devin winked. Then he quickly glanced around the room, probably to see if anyone noticed he had. We resumed eating, not talking, not attempting to look at each other.
Then the blond walked past us, and we both looked up. Devin looked down at his tray and didn’t watch to see where she sat. That was when I felt a light but deliberate squeeze on my knee. Without hesitation, I placed my hand on top of his and curled my fingers around it. He then gripped my hand while keeping the same demeanor so no one would notice. We were secretly holding hands under the table. And there I had confirmation Devin still liked me, and he wanted me to know he did.
We ate in silence, but I didn’t mind—holding his hand was enough. It was the first time I ever ate with my left hand.
Eventually we were excused from lunch. The girl on the other side of me asked a question, so I turned to answer her. Devin took his hand back, got off the bench, and left before I could say anything more.
***
“Do you want to go to the lake today?” Lauren asked me when we were back at the cabin.
“I don’t know. I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”
“Do you mind if I go play soccer, then? Blake confirmed he’s doing that today.”
“No, that’s fine.”
“Are you going to be okay?” She smiled sympathetically at me.
“Yeah. I’m going to change my clothes and then decide what to do,” I said while glancing over at Caroline, who was sitting on her bunk. “Find me after your game.” I was trying to get rid of Lauren so I could talk to Caroline privately.
Lauren hugged me goodbye. Then I turned to watch Caroline. She was writing in a journal. A couple of other girls were changing their clothes, and one was taking a nap. I slowly walked over to Caroline and sat on the bunk across from hers.
“Why aren’t you with Lauren?”
“Oh, she went to play soccer, and I didn’t feel like it. I’m sort of tired,” I replied.
“Me, too. So, what’s up?”
I drew in a deep breath. “I think there’s a new counselor I’ve seen walking around camp today. She has curly blond hair. Do you know her?”
“She sounds like Marissa—a veteran of the camp for years. She usually works the entire summer, but she only came for July this time. I’m sure she’s in charge of horseback riding.”
“I see. So, are Devin and she good friends?”
Caroline gave me a long stare, and I couldn’t tell what she was trying to prepare me for.
“Dahlia,” she began, trying to sound compassionate. “Marissa is Devin’s girlfriend.”
I just stared at her, as if I hadn’t heard her right. Girlfriend? He never said he was seeing someone.
“I know you really like him. I don’t want to see you get hurt.”
“Don’t worry,” I said, forcing the words out. “I’m fine.”
I stood up to go. She tried to stop me, but I didn’t listen and left the cabin, not sure where I was going.
Then it hit me. Now I knew why Devin acted funny after I showed him my slip of paper. Devin’s girlfriend was my secret pal.
***
The rest of the afternoon, I spent product
ively under a pine tree just snapping twigs in half while thinking. Devin had indicated he was interested in me but wouldn’t cross a line with me physically, right? I hadn’t imagined it. What he should have told me was he had a girlfriend, and he didn’t plan to cheat on her. He’d been dishonest with me, and it really hurt my feelings. What bothered me most was that he didn’t seem like he’d lie to me.
It confused me further that he’d held my hand under the table today. That was leading me on, wasn’t it? Nothing he’d said or done made sense.
Campers were heading down the hill, so I knew it had to be close to dinner time. Feeling jilted, I went back to the cabin, grabbed Devin’s sweatshirt, and tugged it on. Marissa would probably recognize it, and the evil side of me wanted her to. Let Devin be in the hot seat and need to explain to her why I had it.
The group that played soccer had finished and were heading to the dinner line. It surprised me to see Devin was among the players. Maybe, I should have gone there during free time. Then I saw Blake say something to him. And for the first time, Devin looked pissed. He glared at Blake, but I couldn’t hear what was being said. Blake patted his shoulder, then walked off. Devin pushed his hair back in a frustrated way and turned his back to face the field. Marissa then ran up from the field, with Lauren and some other girls trailing behind her. She saw Devin was upset and reached out to him, but he turned away and walked off in the direction of the lake. She stared at him without making any attempt to follow.
“Hey.” Lauren had run up to me. “Let’s go eat.”
“I’m not really hungry,” I said, wanting to go after Devin.
She nodded in the direction Devin went. “He played soccer with us today. I was on his team. He’s very encouraging and nice.”
What she was telling me wasn’t helping. Why would I want to hear that Devin was being nice to everyone while he was ignoring me?
“Well, isn’t that just perfect?”
She looked at me. “What’s going on?”
“Marissa, the blond, is his girlfriend,” I replied flatly.
“What? No. She can’t be. They didn’t say one word to each other. Where did you get that idea?”
“Caroline told me.”
“That’s so weird. Blake kidded around with her, but Devin didn’t say one word to her.”
“Maybe they aren’t supposed to be, and they have to pretend they aren’t. He seems to have a lot of practice pretending.”
She reassured me further and said, “But I’m telling you I was there. Neither one acted like they even knew each other. And I thought he indicated he’s interested in you.”
“He did. That’s why none of this is making any sense. I need him to talk to me. I want some answers.”
***
Devin showed up late to dinner. I knew because I never took my eyes off the door. He sat across the room next to Aaron, so he was still avoiding me, it seemed. He only looked my direction once, and it was at his sweatshirt, which I was still wearing. I’d spilled something on it (oops) and made sure he saw me wipe it off. The rest of dinner was brutal to get through.
Then a glimmer of hope came when I saw Devin messing around with the secret pal pockets before leaving the room. Quickly, I ran over to my pocket and peered inside. And there it was. A folded piece of paper awaited me. I took it out and held it between my fingers until I was away from the dining hall. Lauren trailed behind me. We walked over to one of the lighted posts outside so I could read it.
“What does it say?” she asked.
I opened it so both of us could see, and it said: Don’t go to campfire. Come find me.
Lauren and I exchanged looks. “It’s from Devin. You have to cover for me. If Caroline asks where I am, then just say I didn’t feel well and went to lie down.”
“I will. Where do you think he’ll be?”
I let out a deep sigh. “Oh, I know where.” Then I smiled.
***
I stood alone under a pine tree that kept me slightly hidden. Campers were heading up the hill to the larger campfire. It was either going to be bad news when Devin informed me of his girlfriend, or I would learn it was a misunderstanding. The thumping of my heart quickened while I waited for the right moment to head to the craft cabin.
After the last trickle of campers walked up the hill, I came out from behind the tree. The hood was over my head to conceal my identity. Walking rapidly, I made it to the base of the stairs and then went up. Not looking back to see if anyone noticed me, I went straight to the room that used to be Devin’s and opened it. As soon as I was inside, I shut the door, locked it, and leaned against it, trying to adjust my eyes to the moonlit room. A chair creaked, and I saw someone was sitting in it.
Chapter Eleven
“Come here,” I heard Devin say.
As I walked toward the chair, his hand reached out and took hold of mine. I couldn’t believe it, but he pulled me straight into his lap. He reached up and pulled the hood off my head, then brushed the hairs off my forehead. His hands moved through my hair and all the way down my back. He was breathing loudly but didn’t say anything more. Then he pulled me into him and wrapped his arms around me, cradling me tenderly against his shoulder. I wondered why he was doing this with me and not Marissa.
“You know who this is, don’t you?” I whispered.
“Yes,” he said. “I’ve missed you, Dahlia.”
The way he said my name made my heart flutter. “What’s going on?” I asked, staring at his chin.
“Shh. Just let me hold you for a minute.” Devin continued to play with my hair, but he didn’t attempt to speak.
After a few minutes, Devin sighed loudly, and I knew he was going to talk now. One hand dropped to my thigh and stayed there. My hands found his shoulders, which I used to push myself up so we could face each other. After rising, I kept my palms on his shoulders.
“Who is Marissa?” I boldly asked. “Are you seeing her?”
“We used to be in a relationship. But no, I’m not seeing her anymore.”
“But Caroline said she’s your girlfriend.” We were barely talking above a whisper.
“She was. We broke up last summer. This is the first time I’ve seen her since then.”
I felt so much relief. And confusion. “If it’s been over, then why are you acting so strange?”
Devin patted and rubbed my leg lightly, so my attention went to his hand for a brief moment. “We didn’t end on good terms. There’s a lot of tension between us still.”
“Oh. Are things better now that you talked?”
“No. But it’s just how it is.”
We were quiet again, and I was thinking of what else to ask since he wasn’t providing the info I so wanted to know. I managed to say, “She looks older than you.”
Devin laughed. “She’s twenty-six.”
“What?” Her age surprised me.
“I met her when I was a camper. Right after my senior year of high school, remember I’d said I attended this camp? My mom thought it would be a good idea for me to get away after the baby…”
“Oh. And you liked her like I like you.”
It clicked. Caroline said that Marissa had worked many years here. Devin had been a camper like me and met her like I’d met him. The difference was they must have gotten physical with each other.
“Yeah. I had a crush on her.”
“So you were eighteen, and she was twenty-three?”
“Sounds right. I didn’t want to be here, but my mom paid a lot for it. I felt like I had to.”
“That was nice of her,” I said, not sure how to respond.
“It was. At first, I wasn’t having any fun, but then I met Marissa. Everything changed.”
“Was she your family group leader?”
“No. She happened to see me sitting alone at the craft cabin when I was supposed to be at lunch. She stayed and talked to me. I ended up telling her everything—about the baby and putting her up for adoption. I hadn’t told anyone about it since it happen
ed. She didn’t judge me but was understanding. I needed that,” he said, taking a pause to draw in a breath. “We spent a lot of time together, like I have with you.”
“I see.” He had to know what I was thinking, so I went ahead and asked. “Did she eventually take things from being your counselor to something romantic?”
Devin hesitated, then answered, “Yeah.”
A sigh came from me. “How far did you take things?” I asked almost inaudibly.
“All the way, Dahlia,” he stated with no real emotion.
My voice rose. “You did that here?” This was shocking news. I wanted Devin to kiss me. Sex in this setting hadn’t even occurred to me.
“We did.”
“Where could you? Where were the other people?” I knew I sounded very confused.
“We found ways. No one knew.”
“I just don’t see how.” I said it more for myself because I didn’t like that Marissa had been intimate with Devin. I felt jealous all over again.
“If I wanted to do that with you now, we could. We could in this room while everyone is at the campfire.”
He was right. Lauren and Blake popped into my mind. They were probably finding a way to be physical.
I didn’t want to think about Devin and Marissa having sex, so I asked, “How did things between you end that summer?”
“She kept in touch with me through texts, but we weren’t officially together. Then I returned the following summer as a counselor, and that’s when everyone knew we were a couple. It lasted a year long-distance.”
“I didn’t realize you weren’t in the same city.”
“Yeah, we weren’t. She had a job working at a horseback riding school two hours away. I was in college. We drove to see each other and made video calls during the school year. Then something happened last summer. But… I don’t want to get into it right now. I’ll leave it at: things ended badly.”
“Is that why you reacted the way you did when you saw her name on my paper?”
“Probably. I didn’t think she was coming this summer when she wasn’t here for June’s session. She usually works the entire summer. It’s certainly awkward now.”
Edge of Eighteen: A Slow Burn Summer Camp Love Story Page 12
