She smiled a little. “Yeah, I suppose you don’t have a parade of happy people traipsing through your office.”
“Not usually. No ‘I feel great. I think I’ll go see the doctor today.’”
She smiled again then took a drink of her water. He sank into the chair adjacent to the couch.
“You don’t have to stay. I’m fine.”
“I don’t have anywhere I need to be.” And if he went back to the ranch, he had no doubt Wes was going to grill him about that whole hand-holding thing. And Roman didn’t really know how to answer.
Well, that was a lie, wasn’t it? He liked Anna, liked her more every time he was around her. Holding her hand had felt peaceful and exciting at the same time. But he didn’t know what to do about it, or how he would respond if questioned by Wes or any other member of his family. Whatever was happening, it felt private.
“Really, I’m probably just going to take a shower and then a nap.”
“Feel free.”
Her eyebrows lifted in surprise.
He smiled. “I promise to be a perfect gentleman and stay out here where I belong.”
“No, I didn’t mean—”
“I know. And I know you’re a strong woman, independent. I’m not saying you’re not. But I’d like to stay for a while—not as a doctor, but as a friend.”
Perhaps a friend who was having thoughts of being more, but she didn’t need to hear that right now. She needed to rest, not worry about the guy sitting in her living room.
“I don’t think I’m the only one with a stubborn streak,” she said.
The hint of humor in her voice made his smile widen. “No, ma’am, you are not.”
She stared at him as if considering her options, but the day’s activity had tapped out her energy reserves. He knew the signs. He could remember feeling them when he’d been recovering from his own health issues. Evidently acknowledging that this wasn’t a fight she’d win, she pushed herself to her feet.
“Feel free to watch TV or read anything you can find on the shelf,” she said as she pointed toward a stuffed bookshelf at the end of the room.
He watched her as she disappeared down the hallway and had a thought that would likely get him kicked out of her house for good. He imagined holding that soft, small hand of hers and following her to the bedroom.
Feeling that he was somehow betraying her trust, he shook his head and stalked to the bookshelf. Not surprisingly, it was stuffed with mystery novels along with an eclectic selection of nonfiction titles. He spotted the same book he was currently reading at home when he could snatch a few minutes here and there. As he pulled it from the shelf, he heard the shower turn on. Despite trying to keep his thoughts elsewhere, he imagined Anna being naked just beyond that bathroom door. He should feel guilty, but he was a man, damn it. A man with eyes. And Anna Kenner was the sort of pretty that caught you unaware but never let you go, either.
Trying to block out the sound of the flowing water and the thought of what it was hitting, he stretched out on Anna’s couch and found the spot where he’d stopped reading at home. But when a door opened down the hall a few minutes later, he realized he’d been attempting to read the same page the entirety of the time Anna had been in the bathroom.
He looked up thinking that Anna might reappear. Instead, he heard another door close. And if he wasn’t mistaken, the soft click of a lock followed. He hated that she felt so uncomfortable with him in her house, but it was too late to do anything about it now. He wasn’t about to leave her alone. If something happened, he’d never forgive himself. She’d be on her own soon enough, but it wasn’t going to be today.
*
What was he doing out there? Despite being exhausted, Anna lay in her bed wide awake alternately staring at the ceiling, her closed door and the clock. After so much time in the hospital and rehab, she’d wanted nothing more than to sleep at normal times like a normal person. And yet here she was in bed before it was even dark outside. She looked at the clock again only to find the time hadn’t changed since she’d last looked. When was Paige going to get here?
She rolled onto her side, hugging one of the extra pillows and trying not to wonder what it would be like to lay her head against Roman’s chest instead. Judging by how her body had reacted when he’d simply held her hand, she might very well combust.
How many times had she needed to remind herself on the way home that Roman was just being kind, a friend? She couldn’t let her feelings get carried away, as they’d threatened to do the moment he’d taken her hand in his. She’d initially thought the head rush was from the sudden recollection of memories from the day of the crash, but now she didn’t think so. Sure, the memory of the truck hitting her, or nearly hitting her—she wasn’t sure which—had startled her, but that couldn’t account for the surge of warmth through her body when Roman had touched her.
How was she supposed to sleep knowing that he was just down the short hallway?
Chapter Eleven
And yet, sleep she did.
She came awake slowly, disoriented. Like the cogs in a lazy wheel, she remembered the events of the day. She blinked the sleep from her eyes and looked at the clock. The red display numbers read 9:14 p.m., and with that knowledge came a twisted-up, conflicted feeling in her chest. Roman would be gone by now. She tried convincing herself that was a good thing, but she couldn’t quite do it.
It was also inescapably true that she enjoyed spending time with Roman, even if she ran the risk of falling for him. Who was she kidding? She’d started falling for the man the day he’d brought in that silly ladder poster and the promise of a milkshake.
Her stomach growled, reminding her that she hadn’t eaten since the sandwich beside the creek with Roman. She closed her eyes and replayed how it had felt to ride in front of him, his arms around her. How when he’d helped her down from the horse, she’d had to fight the desire to wrap her arms around his neck despite all the sets of eyes that would have witnessed it and her shame when he had to tell her he only wanted to be friends. The considerate way he’d allowed her extra time to not only finish eating but also to relax, away from all the well-meaning people on the trail ride.
He would make someone a wonderful husband someday. And she couldn’t deny that she could all too easily imagine herself in the role of wife. Was she changing? Only days ago, she wouldn’t have even dreamed of such a thing.
She took a deep breath and made her way to the bathroom. When she finished brushing her teeth, she was surprised to find the house still quiet. Had Paige fallen asleep? Or had her friends decided she was okay to be alone after all? Despite her repeatedly telling them exactly that, a flutter of fear caused her to stop halfway up the hall and press her hand to her chest.
Stop being silly. You’re fine.
When she reached the living room, it wasn’t Paige she found sleeping on her couch. Instead, it was the handsomest man she’d ever seen, and she took the opportunity to watch him the way she had that night in the hospital when she’d caught him sleeping in the chair next to her bed. The way he was stretched out now, though, really showed how tall he was, and she couldn’t help smiling at how relaxed he looked.
She noticed the open book lying on his chest, and she loved the idea that he was enjoying a series she did as well. For a few moments, she imagined sitting by that creek on his ranch on a regular basis, talking about the books they were reading. She couldn’t imagine anything more perfect. Well, except for him returning the feelings that seemed to be building within her at an increasing speed. She suddenly wanted to scream at her grandmother for doing her best to burn that belief into her mind that the family into which she’d been born somehow made her lesser, at her mother for living her life in a way that gave supporting evidence Anna had seen with her own eyes.
But Anna didn’t want to think that way anymore. She suspected a part of her had always resisted it. And yet, there was enough fear that she was wrong and Helena had been right that she struggled within her own m
ind.
Anna startled when Roman shifted and the book fell to the floor. He jerked awake at the resulting thump before she could move away.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, instantly alert as he lowered his feet to the floor.
She held out a palm and waved off his concern. “Nothing. I’m sorry I woke you up.”
He rubbed his hand over his face and shook his head as if trying to dispel that fog that lingered whenever waking suddenly from a deep sleep.
“No, it’s okay.” He spotted the book and lifted it from the floor. “I think this is the culprit.”
She somehow remembered how to move her feet and took a few steps toward the kitchen. “Are you hungry? I’m surprised my growling stomach wasn’t what woke you.”
Or somehow sensing someone was staring at him as he slept.
Roman got to his feet and followed her. “You rest. I can scrounge up something.”
She didn’t even think about it before she stopped and turned toward him. “You do realize I just slept for several hours, don’t you?”
He glanced toward the window, as if he had no clue what time it was. That reminded her of her earlier thought.
“Why isn’t Paige here?”
“She texted that she wasn’t feeling well and asked if I minded staying with you tonight. I hope that’s okay. I don’t want you to feel weird about having a man in your house.”
“No, it’s fine.” Which wasn’t entirely true. The thought of him being there all night, just the two of them, made her entire being vibrate with nervous energy. “But truly, I’m okay to stay by myself.”
He covered a yawn, making her realize that if he stayed she might actually be helping him more than her.
“But you’re obviously too tired to drive, so you’re welcome to the couch. Sorry it isn’t more comfortable.”
He laughed a little. “I’ve slept worse places.”
“Somehow I doubt that.”
“Really. I lost count of how many cricks I got in my neck from falling asleep at desks, sitting up in dorm beds, on park benches while studying during med school. I once woke up with my face smashed against a desk in the library and my best friend taking a picture of me to post on every social media platform known to man.”
She laughed. “Tell me you weren’t drooling, too.”
“I can’t.”
Anna laughed even harder, more than she had in she couldn’t remember how long.
“I’m glad that’s still bringing amusement all these years later,” he said.
She motioned toward the kitchen table. “Have a seat and I’ll fix us something to eat.”
“I can do it.”
“I swear if you tell me to rest again, I’m going to stab you with the first poky object I find.”
He held up his hands, palms out, in surrender. “Sorry. Hard to turn off the doctor.”
“I do appreciate all the help you’ve given me, but I’m tired of Doctor Roman. I don’t mind Friend Roman though.”
He smiled in a way that made her insides start fluttering, as if he might be reading more into “friend” and didn’t mind.
Though she was growing more determined to change her outlook on the possibilities her life could offer, she still believed she had to be careful to not project what part of her wanted to see rather than what was actually in front of her. To hopefully get her feelings under control, she turned her back to him and went to the refrigerator.
“How do you feel about chicken quesadillas?”
“Sounds good.”
Over the course of the next few minutes, she used the rotisserie chicken Paige had brought with the groceries yesterday to make some easy, quick quesadillas while Roman scrolled through messages on his phone. When she slid the plates with the food onto the table, he set the phone aside, face-down. Were the messages private patient information? Or was he seeing someone? He hadn’t said anything about dating anyone, but why would he? They might be friends now, but she didn’t think they were to the point where they discussed love lives. Thank goodness, because she didn’t want to hear about his and she had nothing to share.
“Justin sent me the final tally for what the trail ride earned.” He gave her a figure she hadn’t expected, but then she had no idea how much it had cost to take part. “As soon as we announced the money would be going to you, the number of people participating doubled.”
She dropped the fork that had been halfway to her mouth back to her plate.
“I told you people liked you,” he said.
“I…I don’t know what to say. Or how to pay everyone back.”
“You don’t have to pay everyone back. That’s the point.” He reached across the table and placed his hand over hers. “Just keep being yourself. The person you are without effort is why people want to help you.”
Damn if tears didn’t pool in her eyes. “I had no idea. I mean, I don’t think I’m an ogre, but I…I’m just stunned, I guess.”
“You’re very easy to like, Anna.”
She met his gaze and, no, she hadn’t been imagining his interest earlier. But was it just some sort of empathy doctor thing? Or could the son of the first family of Logan Springs really be interested in her? She didn’t think she was ugly, but she just wasn’t the type of woman she ever pictured with any of the McQueens. After all, Justin was marrying the owner of a pharmaceutical company. Sure, Wes played the field, but when he settled down, his partner would likely be stunning.
And Roman? On top of everything else, he was a doctor. As much as she might want him to, she found it difficult to picture him choosing a stereotypical shy librarian.
“Thanks,” she said, retrieving her hand as if she needed it to eat. “You are, too.”
She had to steer the conversation a different direction or she wasn’t going to make it through the rest of the night. Before she could think of a topic, however, Roman spoke again.
“We can put the money into your bank account on Monday morning,” he said. “That way you can start getting things you need, like a car.”
“That will likely be down the list. I can walk to work since the weather is nice. That way I can start chipping away at the medical bills first.” She looked up and saw the look on his face, like he wanted to say something but didn’t know if he should. “What?”
“The medical bills are going to be substantial.”
“I’m aware. But I need to whittle down those bills as fast as I can. I’ve never carried debt, not even for college, and I hate that I have to now.”
His expression shifted to worry. “I hate the idea of you overdoing things so quickly after your injuries.”
“I’m not a fool. I won’t do anything that might put me right back in the hospital, racking up even more bills.”
“I know you’re a smart woman, but you’re also stubbornly independent.”
“So you’ve said.”
“Sorry, I don’t mean to offend you.”
She tilted her head slightly, trying to figure out this man before her. “It must be exhausting worrying about everyone so much all the time.”
“See, that’s the thing. Normally, I don’t. I care, but I also know how to distance myself when necessary. But there is something about you, Anna Kenner, that brings out my protective instincts.”
Words failed her. Utterly, completely failed her. So she almost knocked over her chair getting up from the table and carrying her dishes to the sink. She wished she could temporarily disappear into another realm long enough to get the frantic beating of her heart under control, to think of some way to respond to his revelation. Did he mean that as a friend? As more than a friend? It seemed like the latter, but she was really awful at reading signs from men. That took practice, of which she had woefully little.
While part of her wanted to rejoice that this man who had been filling so many of her thoughts might be attracted to her, another part wanted to strangle Paige for putting her in this situation. Because there wasn’t a doubt in her mind that her friend
felt just fine and was likely sitting on her couch eating popcorn, smiling at the mere thought of her matchmaking machinations.
*
He’d made a mistake. Or had he? He was a big believer in telling the truth. His mom had taught him that from a young age, deciding never to hide the truth of his cancer and his prognosis from him. When doctors had wanted to talk to her privately, she’d refused, saying he was the one sick and deserved to know what was going on. He always had that thought in the back of his mind as he dealt with patients and their families, and he tried to always employ the same principle in his life outside work. He’d held his feelings inside as long as he could, but Anna’s reaction had him doubting his timing.
And yet he wasn’t sorry he’d said the words. It was out there now, not bouncing around inside him looking for a way to escape. But based on her reaction, he had no idea how to proceed. What did he even want?
He realized he actually knew what he wanted—to ask her out on a date. But he suspected if he asked her out now, the answer would be a kind but resounding no. Best to tread lightly and see if being her friend would lead to her being receptive of more.
“So what do you and Paige normally do when she stays over?”
“Talk, watch TV.”
“Let me guess. You like mysteries on TV, too.”
She glanced over her shoulder at him before returning her attention to the sink. “That’s more deductive reasoning than a guess.” She gestured across the living room. “Judging by the fact that you found my bookshelf, you know I wasn’t kidding about liking mysteries.”
“So why mysteries?”
She shrugged. “I just like trying to figure out all the clues. I like puzzles, too, so I guess it’s a theme.”
“You got any?”
“What? Puzzles?”
“Yeah.”
“Roman, you don’t want to do a puzzle.”
“You don’t know that. I might be the puzzle king.” He breathed a bit easier when she snort-laughed.
“Just find something that looks good.”
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