Hot Mess: A Players Rockstar Romance (Players #1)

by Diamond, Jaine

  I nodded my thanks at her. Then she turned right to Xander and said, “Hey. I’m Taylor. What’re you drinking?”

  Girl wasn’t shy.

  I threw Xander a look, which I hoped conveyed, That’s her. Be on your best fucking behavior.

  Xander just smirked at me.

  I turned away. He wanted me to prove I was trustworthy? Well, that shit went both ways. Maybe this was his first chance to prove that he deserved my trust.

  We’d just have to see how it played out.

  I nudged into Danica, and although Doucheface was still talking, she glanced up and noticed I was behind her. She smiled and turned into me a bit. “Hey, you remember Carter? He just got here.” She gave me a nervous, unsure look, like she was trapped between two pit bulls who were about to sniff each other out.

  “Hey,” I said, nodding a greeting at him.

  “Good to see you again, man,” he said, pretty good-naturedly, if it wasn’t for the fucking bullets in his eyes—which he shot my way behind Danica’s back.

  Then Taylor reached past me to bump Danica’s arm, and they leaned in over the bar to talk to each other.

  I studied Carter.

  Something about this guy’s vibe just wasn’t right with me.

  He leaned over Danica and told me, “So, I was just telling Danica what a great time I had at dinner last night. Too bad you had to miss it.”

  Then he drew back, just as Danica stood back up and handed us each a shot. “Your friend Xander bought them,” she told me with a big, beautiful smile.

  I stared at her face, not really sure what I was seeing. It was sort of a blur.

  When I looked at her ex again, he threw back his shot and smiled at me, the most douchebag smile, then took a leisurely slug of his beer.

  Chapter Thirty-Five

  Ash

  I put back my shot, then placed the shot glass on the bar and stared at it.

  Danica’s ex-boyfriend was at her birthday dinner last night. But she didn’t tell me about that.

  And I wasn’t there.

  Because she told me not to come.

  I wouldn’t say I was angry about it, instantly. There was a weird sensation like the floor falling out from under me, but maybe it was just the bass vibrating through my feet and the sudden slam of adrenaline that made my stomach turn.

  I said nothing.

  But I knew the feeling of getting burned by someone I was stupid enough to care about.

  I’d been burned by this shit before, way too many times.

  I’d burned people, too.

  Bad fucking karma…

  I’d lied, been lied to.

  Cheated on people, been cheated on.

  Once bitten, twice shy, right?

  Except that I’d been bitten so many times now, I’d lost count. Betrayed in so many ways, big and small, by so many people, there was a point when I’d stopped caring about it and just fucked around, because what did it matter?

  I used them, they used me.

  Oldest, most boring story in the world.

  Who the fuck cared.

  But I cared about this. I cared about Danica.

  I had no interest in lying to her or cheating on her, or burning her.

  And she wasn’t the only one I’d ever cared for like that.

  I’d let myself care about Summer, yet when things fell apart, she’d quickly fallen for someone else. Elle fell in love with Seth. Amber fell in love with Dylan. Dylan fell in love with Amber.

  None of them stuck with me.

  Every one of them found someone they wanted more.

  For once, didn’t I deserve to get first fucking place?

  Yes. Yes, I did.

  I was not getting fucked around anymore.

  By anyone.

  And if there was even a chance that’s what was starting to unfold here…

  Nope.

  Fuck. That.

  Except… When I looked at Danica’s face again, I couldn’t really muster the anger I wanted to feel.

  It just fucking burned.

  When she leaned in to talk to Taylor again, I looked back at Xander. “Thanks for the shot,” I said.

  “Uh-huh.” He sipped his beer and glanced past me, at Carter. And the look in those unblinking eyes of his spoke volumes. This dude was a solid wingman.

  Instead of picking up Taylor, he was watching my back so I could do what needed to be done.

  I slid right around Danica, tucking her in behind me. She was still talking to Taylor, and Xander leaned in to talk to both of them. I faced Danica’s ex-boyfriend and leaned an elbow on the bar, mirroring his stance.

  We were inches apart, and he looked me over, briefly. Couldn’t really ignore me, since I was right in his face.

  He sized me up, actually, or pretended to. Posturing, for sure. Probably knew I could kick his ass. He’d definitely noticed Xander was with me, and Xander could definitely kick his ass.

  But he didn’t look impressed. Was probably just waiting on me to tell him to fuck off, so he could act like he was above it and brush me off, tell Danica what a lowlife I was.

  His gaze snagged on my tattoos and he practically rolled his eyes.

  But I wasn’t gonna make him kiss my fist, or even tell him to leave Danica alone.

  Didn’t need to.

  When he looked me in the eye again, I just looked him over, slowly.

  “Nice of you to come by,” I said. “I’m sure Danica’s happy you could make it.”

  “Yeah. I mean, we already celebrated last night.” I met his eyes again. “Whatever it takes to make her happy, you know?”

  Prick.

  “You don’t usually come here?”

  “Not really my scene.”

  “Right,” I said, watching him like I was fully absorbed in what he was saying—and pretty fucking fascinated with his existence. With his mouth, actually. “So, you wanna head out for a bit, or what?”

  He blinked at me, a slight scowl flashing over his face. He leaned his head in slightly like he hadn’t heard me over the music. “What?”

  “You and me,” I said, clear as day. “We could take off. My place is close.”

  Yup. I just hit on him.

  Pained me to do it, too. This dude was fucking gross. Handsome, sure, but so fucking full of himself in his crisp collared shirt—Xander was right, it was shiny. Probably spent half the day looking in mirrors and taking selfies, wallpapering his friends’ social media feeds with his fucking obnoxious face.

  “Uh. Sorry?” He stared at me like he was that fucking confused by someone who looked like me inviting him for a fuck.

  “If you want, I’m sure we could convince Danica to join in. She’s pretty sweet on me.” I punctuated that with another long, slow look right down his body.

  No way to misinterpret that, and he definitely didn’t. I could see it on his face when I looked in his eyes again.

  And here was the thing about an invitation to sex—with me and his ex-girlfriend—worded just like that.

  First of all, I already knew there was no way in hell, even if he was desperate to get back up Danica’s skirt, that he’d take me up on that offer, because he clearly didn’t swing my way. But watching him squirm or get offended or whatever the fuck he was gonna do about it would be fucking entertaining.

  And second, and much more importantly, his reaction would tell me a whole lot about the quality of this dude’s character. If he cold-cocked me, right now, for the way I’d just offered to toss Danica in-between us—which implied I was willing to use her to get him into bed—I’d actually respect him. Because a comment like that, about a girl like that, deserved a beat-down.

  But as it turned out, Carter was just a little too predictable and about as disappointing as he appeared at first glance. Because all he did was break eye contact, shift uncomfortably, and start looking around for the nearest exit.

  “Yeah, I’m not really down with that,” he muttered. I couldn’t hear him all that well over the noise of
the bar, but I read his lips. I got his meaning.

  Whether he actually believed I was into dudes or not, I’d just come across like a total fucking asshole. Which meant that if he turned and walked away from me right now, which I was pretty fucking sure he was about to do, he was willingly leaving Danica to a total fucking asshole.

  All he knew was that this asshole either wanted him… or wanted him gone. But dude was in this for himself; that much was clear. When shit went bad, he wasn’t about to put his ass on the line for anyone. Danica included.

  Yeah. I had zero respect for this guy.

  “I’ve, uh, gotta head out,” he said, briefly meeting my eyes before setting his beer aside, turning, and leaving a trail of dust.

  “You do that,” I told his retreating back.

  Fucking pathetic.

  But at least I knew I was right. Dude was a class-A douchebag.

  He was definitely sniffing around after Danica. Playing the long game, maybe, kissing up to her family because he knew how important they were to her, trying to wear down her defenses and worm his way back into her bed.

  And why wouldn’t he? Probably regretted losing her over whatever stupid-ass shit he’d done to make her ditch his arrogant ass in the first place.

  Unfortunately for him, Danica Vola wasn’t up for fucking grabs.

  I turned to find Xander chatting with her, keeping her distracted for me.

  Good man.

  I leaned into her ear. “Can I talk to you?” I put my hand on her elbow and started steering her away before she could answer.

  “Um, sure. Be right back—!” she called over to Taylor or whoever, and I yanked her through the crowd. Over to the side of the stage, where I saw Snake hanging with one of his bouncers.

  “Hey, man.” I nodded toward the door behind them, the one that led backstage. “Can we have a minute?”

  Snake opened the door for us as he looked Danica over. “Take your time, brother.”

  “Thanks.” I tugged Danica through the door, telling her, “That’s Snake. Snake, this is Danica.”

  “Hi,” she said.

  “Have fun,” Snake said, shutting the door behind us.

  I stopped in the dark hall, dragging a hand through my hair and taking a breath as I turned to face her. No one was around. There was no live band playing tonight, which meant the only people who’d use this hall would be staff or VIPs who’d cut through to the strip club below.

  Or pissed-off rock stars who needed a moment alone to ream a girl out. Though Snake probably assumed I had a more enjoyable goal when I dragged Danica back here.

  So did she, no doubt. But as she looked me over, she seemed to read my vibe for what it was. “Are you okay…?”

  “I’m fucking great.”

  “You’re not.” She took a step closer to study my face in the shadows. “Should I be worried…?”

  “Nope,” I said. “Nothing to worry about. In case you haven’t figured it out, though, Doucheface is after you.”

  “Who?”

  “Your douchy ex. Fucking Carter.”

  Understanding seemed to dawn on her face, slowly. She still looked flushed and pretty drunk, though.

  “Whatever else he tells you, don’t believe it.”

  “I don’t know what you’re thinking, Ash,” she said slowly, “but Carter and I are just friends.”

  Nope. No way was I buying that.

  “Maybe that’s how it is for you,” I said.

  “You really don’t need to be jealous of him,” she said gently. And it fucking irritated me.

  Was I jealous?

  Yup.

  Jealous. Threatened. Insecure.

  “It’s cool that you’re not the jealous type,” I told her. “I like that about you. But I am.”

  “You’ve been friends with Summer for a long time,” she pointed out, clearly getting a little frustrated. “It’s not like I’m not jealous of that at all, Ashley. I’m not blind. She’s super-sexy.”

  “Summer’s not trying to get in my pants,” I told her. “I’m telling you, don’t trust him.”

  “Ashley… He’s still in my life, no matter what you think of him. We’re not all that close, to be honest. I don’t particularly trust him. But… he has a relationship with my family. And I’m not gonna tell him I won’t ever speak to him again or something, just because you’re jealous. Especially when there’s nothing to be jealous of.”

  Okay. Nope. I did not like that.

  Would Amber pull this shit with Dylan?

  Fuck, no.

  If he said the word about some other dude, Amber would get it. She’d hear what he had to say, and she’d fucking respect it.

  So would Katie or Maggie or Dylan’s sister, Julie, or any of the other women I knew who were in serious relationships with my friends. Because they had a relationship.

  They had a fucking bond.

  Trust.

  Security.

  And everything about Danica’s little speech just tweaked my insecurities.

  “Hey, Danica,” I growled out. “Why the hell was your ex-boyfriend at your birthday dinner?”

  Her face fell. “Oh.”

  “Yeah. Oh. I thought that was family only.”

  “I didn’t say it was family only. But—”

  “I guess I was wrong,” I said. “Honest doesn’t go hand-in-hand with nice.”

  Instead of getting mad, she softened. “I just… I didn’t want to hurt your feelings, Ash.”

  I made this ugly laughing sound that made her cringe. “So you lied to me to be nice, is that it?”

  “No. I just… I didn’t know how to tell you he was coming without making you feel… left out. So I just didn’t mention it.”

  “And that’s better?”

  “No. Shit. I’m so sorry I wasn’t honest with you.” She put her face in her hands for a moment. Then she shifted closer, looking up into my face. “The truth is, I didn’t even want him to come to the dinner. But I knew he was already coming when you and I talked about it yesterday. Margot and Jacob hosted the dinner at their place, and Carter works with Jacob. That’s how I met him in the first place, at one of their dinners. They invited him to the birthday dinner without asking me first, and that was back before I even met you. And honestly, I didn’t particularly want you to run into him again. You didn’t get along so well the first time.”

  “You thought I was gonna cause a scene at your family birthday dinner or something?”

  “No. More like I couldn’t be sure he wouldn’t do something obnoxious, and I thought it might reflect badly on me. Like maybe… you’d think less of me?”

  I blinked at her, processing that. “You think I’m gonna judge you for who you dated in the past, even if he was a fucking douche, when I told you all about my exes, the good, the bad, and the ugly?”

  “You’re right. I’m sorry. I totally screwed up.”

  I stared at her.

  She did seem sorry. It did feel like she was telling the truth.

  I was still fucking annoyed that he was there, though—with her family, at her birthday dinner, and I wasn’t.

  Because I wasn’t invited.

  She sighed. She looked upset, and I’d never really seen her upset before. Plus, she was definitely drunk. I really didn’t want to ruin her birthday party for her.

  But I was pissed off.

  “I’m really sorry if I hurt you, Ashley,” she said softly. “I definitely never meant to.”

  “Okay.”

  “Are you okay?” she asked, searching my face.

  “I don’t know. Give me some time to figure it out.” I turned and headed back toward the door.

  “Uh, you’re just leaving me here?”

  “No,” I said, opening the door and waiting for her. “You’re coming with me.”

  She came, but as we made our way back through the crowd, she touched my arm and said, “Hey… did you tell Carter to leave?” like she’d just realized he was gone.

  I turned t
o face her. “Would you care if I did?”

  “Well…” She studied me, definitely wondering what the fuck I’d said to him. “It would just be unlike him to leave my birthday party without saying good night, and asking if I’m okay getting home and stuff.”

  Uh-huh. Because he’s always kissing your ass.

  Did she not fucking get that?

  Maybe not. Because she was still fucking talking about him.

  “Did he leave?” she said. “What did you tell him?” Like she was afraid I’d hurt her ex-boyfriend’s feelings or something?

  Which rubbed me totally wrong.

  So I decided to lay it out for her.

  “You know what?” I said. “This is bullshit. I’ve had my heart broken too many times, and I know, boo-fucking-hoo, right? Not your problem. But the thing is, I’m not doing it anymore. I’m not gonna chase after people, wait around for people or put my heart behind anyone who doesn’t want me—no, need me—like I need them. So if you need to think about that, Danica, go ahead. You do what you need to do.”

  “Ash—”

  “You want to be with me or you don’t. Figure it out, but I’m not gonna be waiting around while you decide.”

  Then I walked away. I almost plowed right into Taylor, who took one look at our faces and quickly snagged Danica, pulling her aside.

  I kept right on walking. I went straight for the door. I had no reason to stay here.

  If Danica was gonna challenge me on this stupid shit about her ex-boyfriend?

  What was the point?

  She could kiss my ass if she wanted that douche around more than she wanted me.

  I took a glance around, and I spotted Summer. I’d pass her on my way to the door. I didn’t see Xander, though. He’d come here tonight because I invited him, but fuck it. I’d just throw him a text to let him know I was out.

  Wasn’t even gonna waste another second thinking about Danica Vola if this was the kind of shit she was gonna pull on me.

  Unfortunately, her twin sister popped up in front of me and Haz before I could finish blazing my exit trail.

  “Where the hell are you going with that look on your face?” she demanded. “Did I just see you yell at my sister?” She had her hands on her hips, blocking my way.

  I could feel Haz watching, and I glanced at him. He gave me an amused look, like, Should I do something about this?