Hot Mess: A Players Rockstar Romance (Players #1)

by Diamond, Jaine

  Apples and oranges.

  Any way you looked at it, I’d never have what he had to offer Ashley, and I knew that.

  So maybe, in some small way, no matter what happened… I’d always feel a little jealous of Dylan Cope.

  * * *

  I was headed toward my man across the lawn when Summer appeared. And no one could miss this woman.

  She wore a strapless dress, hot-pink, with a full skirt. The bodice was cut deeply down the sides, showing off a generous amount of side boob, which most women probably couldn’t pull off, especially at a wedding. But hey, it was a rock ’n’ roll wedding, and she looked incredible.

  She reached Ashley before I did, threw out her arms and purred, “Ash,” then gave my boyfriend a tight but quick squeeze and kissed his cheek.

  I didn’t mind. I’d become accustomed to their friendship, and in truth, I admired the relationship they had. I liked that my man had a strong woman like Summer in his corner. That he’d been able to keep a friendship going with her even after she’d broken his heart. That he’d wanted to.

  That he cared about people that much.

  It wasn’t a bad thing.

  Of course, Summer had always been totally cool to me, and if that wasn’t the case I’d probably feel differently about her. But I knew Summer liked and respected me.

  So, I tolerated her sexiness and the kisses she gave my man.

  She saw me and headed toward me, intercepting my path on my way over to him. She gave me a hug and a kiss, too. “Danica,” she said. “Have you met Dylan yet?” She held my hands and looked in my eyes. The woman was incredibly socially perceptive, and she clearly knew what would be on my mind today.

  “Not yet,” I said.

  “Well,” she said, nodding over my shoulder, “he’s over there with your boyfriend.” She smiled at me gently. “Go stake your claim, hon.”

  I looked over. Several feet from us, Ashley was talking to a very tall man with thick, wavy auburn hair. He wore a short-sleeve white dress shirt that showed off his long, muscular arms, and gray dress pants that clung to his fantastic butt. But I couldn’t see his face.

  I took a breath.

  “It’s okay,” I told her. I knew Summer meant well, and it was lovely of her to show me support. But I really didn’t feel the need to stake a claim on anyone.

  Ashley was mine, as long as he wanted to be.

  “Excuse me,” I said, and headed over to him.

  Ash saw me coming and pulled me into his arms. “Hey, gorgeous.”

  “Hey.” I kissed his neck.

  So maybe I felt the need to stake just a little claim.

  I glanced at his friend, and it was definitely Dylan Cope. Dirty’s drummer… and sexy underwear model.

  I recognized him from the underwear ads. Which meant I’d seen him incredibly almost-naked, and retained the visual, vividly. He was model-tall and striking gorgeous, but understated about it. He didn’t wear jewelry or have tattoos like a lot of the other rock stars I’d met so far did.

  A natural beauty.

  I almost blushed when Ashley said, “Babe, this is Dylan.”

  “Hi,” I said, stepping forward and extending my hand. “I’m Danica.”

  Dylan smiled a crooked, sexy smile at me and shook my hand. “Nice to meet you.”

  “Likewise.”

  He looked me over, briefly, and said, “So. You’re the girl who gave Ash that giant ring.”

  “Oh… Uh, yeah. That’s me.” I smiled, definitely blushed, and turned to my man.

  To find him… gone.

  I glanced around.

  My boyfriend had vanished. I actually had to blink a few times to believe my eyes. That was some magic trick.

  “Um.” I looked at Dylan. “What just happened?”

  “I think Ash took off,” he said, totally cool with the fact, apparently.

  “Uh… why?”

  “Who knows.”

  “You mean… he didn’t tell you he was doing that?”

  “Nope.”

  “Okay…”

  Dylan smirked.

  “Does he do that kind of thing often?”

  He shrugged. “Sometimes.”

  I sipped my drink. “Do you think he’s coming back?”

  Dylan seemed to consider that. “Knowing him? Hard to say.”

  “Wow.”

  He chuckled. “Uncomfortable?”

  “I’m not sure. Do you think this is a test?”

  “I doubt it. Not his style.”

  I cleared my throat. “So… I just met your girlfriend,” I offered. “Amber? She’s really cool. She liked the necklace I made, we talked about photography. I think we hit it off.”

  “That’s great,” he said. He studied me in silence, and I studied him.

  And I really didn’t know what to think. I didn’t know what he was thinking.

  Ashley had described his best friend as laid-back and easygoing. But right now, under his green-gold gaze, I felt something calculating emanating from him that I wasn’t sure how to take.

  “Are you wondering at what point I’m gonna freak out,” I asked him, carefully, “and yell at you for breaking his heart, and tell you that you can’t be friends with him anymore?”

  “Wasn’t thinking that,” he said, softly. “Was thinking I can see why he likes you so much.”

  Oh.

  “Well… that’s interesting.” I smiled, tentatively. “I was thinking the same about you.”

  * * *

  The wedding ceremony was about to get started. Jesse, who was the MC, had just come around with Jude, advising us all to finish our drinks and start heading to our seats, when I found Ashley.

  He slipped his arms around my waist, drawing me aside.

  “You survived,” he said.

  “Survived what?” I poked him in the chest. “Being tossed to the wolves?”

  “Hey, it was just one wolf.” He smiled a little. “Thought you two might want a moment to bond. You know, sniff each other out or something.”

  “Very thoughtful.”

  “So, how’d it go?”

  “None of your business.”

  He laughed.

  “Let’s put it this way,” I said. “Your best friend is very much a gentleman.”

  “He’d better be.”

  “And… he’s a little more… intense… than you let on. You had me thinking he’s such a teddy bear.”

  Ashley narrowed his eyes at me. “What did he do?”

  “Nothing. Just a feeling.” I slid my hand up his neck and cupped his face. “He cares about you.”

  “Uh-huh.”

  “I think he wanted to make sure I was the real deal.”

  “The real deal?”

  “Yeah. You know… someone who genuinely cares about you. Not just a… What do you call them? Randoms?”

  “You’re definitely not a random, Danica Vola.”

  “And now your best friend knows it,” I said.

  “Obviously,” he said, kinda checking me out, the way he always did. With appreciation.

  I felt a little uneasy about admitting it out loud, but kinda felt like I had to. So I asked him, “Is it okay to tell you that I was afraid, this morning… for maybe half a second… that I’d lost you?”

  “Why?” He pulled me tighter into his body.

  “Because. You were out all night after the bachelor party. You never stay out all night. You always come home to me. Last night, you didn’t. And… you know. Dylan.”

  “Babe.” His eyebrows twisted together. “You were afraid you’d lost me, just because Dylan was back in town?”

  “Not just because. You love him.”

  “Danica.” He slid his hand up into my hair, pulling my face close to his. “I’m yours.”

  “I know.”

  “You’re not losing me.” He kissed me softly, then looked in my eyes again. “Okay?”

  “Okay. Hey, Ashley?”

  “Yeah, babe.”

  “I unde
rstand why you love him. But just so you know, I’m not sharing you with him. Ever.”

  He chuckled. “I know that’s true. For so many reasons.”

  “Just, if it came down to it… I want you to know, I’d fight him for you if I had to.”

  He burst out laughing. And I loved that sound. The look of amusement on his gorgeous face.

  Happiness.

  I liked that he could laugh about this. That day by day, it didn’t hurt him as much as it used to.

  “Danica. I’m pretty sure you could take him. Just flash your gorgeous tits at him, then knee him in the nuts as hard as you can. He’ll never see it coming, but he won’t mess with you again. Problem solved.”

  I smiled. “You have such faith in me.”

  “I know you can handle yourself.”

  I smoothed my thumb over his bottom lip. So soft… I took it in my mouth and sucked on it a little, making him groan. “I’m yours, too, you know,” I told him.

  “I know,” he said, and kissed me back.

  “Asses in seats, people!” one of the guys called out, and Ashley took my hand with a smile, leading me over to find our seats.

  Chapter Forty

  Ash

  The wedding ceremony was simple and mercifully short.

  Jesse and Katie walked up the aisle, followed by Zane and Maggie, then Jude and Roni. Baby Nick was carried by Katie’s niece, and then Brody and Jessa walked up the aisle together.

  He wore a white shirt and pants, and she wore a long but simple white dress. They could’ve gone all-out with a flashy wedding. Brody had more money than probably anyone I knew.

  But this wedding wasn’t about that.

  It was about two people who loved each other finally coming together.

  And seeing all these people together, here to support them… it really hit me. That this was the first time I’d been together with this whole group of friends, since Dylan and Amber broke my heart, that I didn’t feel the residual discomfort. That weird sense of shame in myself… like I’d fucked up.

  I didn’t feel like a fuck-up anymore.

  I knew that had a lot to do with the woman at my side.

  Not because I felt validated that Danica was with me.

  I mean, I loved that she was with me.

  But because she loved me.

  I knew she did, even before she said so. She’d told me so a few nights ago, for the first time.

  But for once in my life, I just knew.

  I felt like I’d finally found something that fit. I didn’t have to chase Danica for her love or try to be something I wasn’t or wait around for her to decide how she felt about me.

  She loved me.

  She’d told me so, and more than that, she’d showed me.

  I finally felt like I had that gorgeous thing I saw in some of my friends’ relationships. Love and connection, for sure. But also… acceptance.

  Security.

  For the first time in my life, I actually felt secure in a relationship.

  I didn’t even know, maybe, how insecure all my other relationships made me feel until I was in this one. I’d never felt as safe with any other lover as I felt with Danica.

  Maybe, before this, I didn’t think I deserved to feel safe, or some such fucked-up shit. Residual bullshit from my mom taking off on me.

  But that was behind me now.

  It would always be with me, that loss, but I didn’t have to let it affect my relationships, how I felt about myself, or how I felt about other people.

  It was amazing what Danica had taught me without even trying.

  Just by being here for me.

  Everyone around me cheered as Brody kissed his bride, and I realized I’d kinda zoned out while they said their vows. I was holding Danica’s hand, and she squeezed my fingers.

  I looked at her, and she looked up at me. She smiled at me, and tears shone in her soft blue eyes. “That was beautiful,” she whispered.

  “You’re beautiful,” I whispered back.

  * * *

  Hours later, I was dancing slowly with Danica. The sun had gone down a while ago and the stars were out. Lanterns were twinkling all over Dolly’s yard.

  I wondered if and when the police would come shut us down. It wasn’t exactly a rowdy party, but maybe Dolly’s neighbors would want some sleep.

  At least the volume on the music had been turned down, and we’d long ago switched to ballads. “When The Stars Go Blue” was playing, and I was holding Danica tight.

  It was just a gorgeous fucking night. And I felt pretty fucking grateful for this woman in my arms.

  “You having a good time?” I asked her, nuzzling into her soft hair.

  “Of course,” she said. “Everyone’s been so nice.”

  “Good,” I said. Then I decided to probe just a little… “I saw you talking to Matt for a bit.”

  Because, yeah. I’d noticed that. And I was a little… jealous.

  Of what, I didn’t know.

  I’d actually avoided introducing her to him, for some fucked-up reason. But they’d found each other anyway.

  Inevitable.

  And I definitely wondered what she thought about him.

  And what he thought about her.

  “Yeah,” she said. “He’s great.”

  “What did you talk about?”

  “You.”

  I studied her pretty face. “Really?”

  “Really. He asked me about you, mostly.”

  “Did he?”

  “Oh…” She lifted an eyebrow, playfully. “And he likes my dress.”

  “Uh-huh. I’m sure he does.”

  She smiled, and I let my gaze wander down to her cleavage. She was all tits and ass in this thing. Innocent tits and ass, in that baby-blue color that made it look somehow demure at the same time it made my dick throb.

  Did I want Matt to like how she looked in this thing?

  Did I not?

  I was actually kinda confused on that whole subject. It was a whole giant mess of yes and no in my guts.

  No, I told myself. Definitely fucking not.

  “He said he’s looking forward to working with you,” she told me, playing with my hair. “And Summer and Xander, of course. You must be so excited, babe.”

  “Yeah. Fuck, it’s still sinking in. Like, yesterday it was just me and Summer. Our band’s doubled in twenty-four hours.”

  “It’s so cool. I’m so happy for you.”

  “I know, babe.” I ran my hand over the small of her back, up and down. “We’ve still got a lot of work to do, though, if we’re gonna be the next greatest thing to happen to music. I still want another guitarist, and who knows if we can write a hit song together. But this band is gonna happen. And with Brody in our corner…”

  Damn. It was almost too much to hope for.

  And it was all happening.

  “It’ll all come together,” Danica said.

  I looked into her soft blue eyes as she gazed up at me.

  “And we’re happening, too. You and me.” I squeezed her. “If the band takes off like I hope it does, life is gonna get crazy, and I’m not losing you by the wayside.”

  “What?” She smiled at me. “You’re not. Of course you’re not.”

  “You’re in this with me now, one-hundred-percent. That’s the way I see it. If that’s not the way you see it, you need to tell me now.” I gave her a slight smile. “Or actually, a long fucking time ago… You know, before I started to get attached to the idea of you sticking around.”

  Danica shook her head, still smiling at me. “I’m in. Of course I’m in. You know that by now.”

  “Great. Then I want you to get rid of your apartment.”

  “You do?”

  “It’s a waste of money and you’re always at my place anyway. You rent, I own. It’s a no-brainer. Besides that, my condo’s bigger, newer, has a better view and it’s in a better neighborhood. There’s room for all your stuff, there’s a walk-in closet for all your chick clothes, an
d tons of light for you to work. We can set up your desk by the windows next to my music nook.”

  Yeah. I’d prepared this sales pitch.

  “Ashley, I—”

  “The kitchen’s way newer, I do most of the cooking, and your ancient stove isn’t gonna cut it.”

  “Okay, and—”

  “And don’t even get me started on your bathroom. Mine’s better, plus I’ve got two. Taylor only owns one song and the walls are too thin. Your sister’s always breaking in and eating your food—”

  “I mean, she doesn’t break anything. She has a key.”

  “I’ve got a doorman and a better security system with cameras,” I said. “Security on your place is dodgy at best.”

  She gave up and let me talk.

  Good, because I had more.

  “My ceilings are higher,” I went on, “my floors are heated, and besides, this fantastic decorator just redecorated it for me. And if you want to change anything so it feels more like home for you, go nuts. I’m not gonna stop you.”

  “Really?” she asked, tentatively. “You’d let me put up my flowers?”

  I sighed. “Yeah, you can put up your flowers. Just go easy on that shit. I don’t want my balls shriveling up.”

  “I’d like to keep my calla lilies,” she said, thoughtfully. “I could put them up in the dining room near my desk. And maybe one small one in the bathroom for some color? The rest… I can let go of.”

  “Really?” I was kinda fucking surprised.

  “Yeah. I mean, I can take some to the office, and my aunts would probably take some for their homes.”

  “I meant really, you’ll move in?”

  “If you’d let me get a word in like five minutes ago,” she said, “you’d know that already. I’d love to move in with you.”

  “Say it again so I can bathe in it.”

  She laughed. “Ashley, I want to move in with you so I can feel your dick inside me every night, and wake up every morning to blow you before you start your day. That better?”

  “So fucking better,” I said, and kissed her. “What happens when I go on tour, though? You gonna come with me? Think carefully about your answer. And it better involve something about blow jobs again.”