Her Darkest Knight

by Amy Mullen

  Chapter Thirteen

  Isabel stood by the window long after Turstin had disappeared through the gate. She did not know what to do first. Constance was going home, and Isabel had to tell her, if she did not already know. And then there was the true identity of Turstin. Though Isabel did not know how to feel about it just yet, her sister’s reaction was easier to predict. Gemma was going to explode when she heard.

  Mass was over. She had missed it, and so had Hesse. Isabel would not tell a soul why until she spoke to her sister, and even then, she would not tell her of the spell that had left her crying in Hesse’s arms.

  It was time to break her fast. Isabel would have to eat, or Gemma would come looking for her, and she was not yet ready to have a private conversation with her. She wanted to savor the last moments when her sister did not know a Bigod was about to join their family.

  She slipped down the steps and took her spot at the dais. Constance was sitting at the end of the table, looking a little green. "Good morn," Isabel said, trying to sound like her normal self.

  "I do not feel well. I do not think I can eat."

  "Constance! What is wrong? I am beginning to think you are ailing, and it might be serious," Isabel said.

  "Nay, nay." Constance shook her head. "I did not sleep well last night. When I do not sleep, I feel unwell. ‘Tis normal."

  "Can I take you to your bed? I will sit with you until you fall asleep or until you feel like eating," Isabel said.

  "That would be lovely." Constance reached out, squeezed Isabel’s hand, and offered her a weak smile.

  "What is going on?" Gemma asked from behind them.

  "She is unwell. I am going to take her to her bed. I am not hungry myself. I will break my fast later, if that is acceptable."

  "I suppose," Gemma said, worry crossing her features. "You will find me if something is amiss?"

  "Aye, of course," Isabel said. She stood and guided Constance up the steps and into her chamber.

  Once alone, Isabel laid upon the bed with Constance, who did not look much better than she had before she left the dais.

  "Are you sure you are going to be fine? I worry about you so much. And now Gemma and Nicholas are going to send you home, and I will not know if you are well or not."

  "What? Nay. They cannot!" Constance said as tears flooded from her eyes and spilled down over her cheeks. "I do not wish to return to Tenwick yet."

  "I am so sorry. I do not want to see you go, but they have decided. If you would just tell me what is going on with you, I might be able to change their minds."

  "Isabel, why were you not at Mass? I waited for you, but you did not come. I wished to apologize for my words last eve. I was harsh."

  "I did not make it. I was waylaid by Turstin. We, uh, well, we argued."

  "About what?"

  "Do not ignore my question. ‘Tis a private matter between my husband-to-be and myself."

  "I feel the same. I do not wish to discuss anything right now," Constance said. The edge in her voice had returned.

  "But I worry."

  "Then come to Tenwick with me. Just for a few days. Your wedding is not yet upon us, so you can go, aye?"

  "I am supposed to be helping Hesse with the children right now," Isabel said as she smoothed her friend’s hair from her face. "But I can ask Gemma if someone else might step in."

  "It will be the last time we have together," Constance said, tears streaming once again.

  "Oh, no, do not cry," Isabel said as she sat up, put her hand on Constance’s head, and rubbed her back much as her sister used to do for her when she was unwell. "Do not cry. You will visit at Renoir once I am married. I do not care what Turstin says."

  Constance sobbed even harder. Isabel sat with her until she finally stopped and fell asleep. Then Isabel slipped off the bed and pulled the coverlet up over her so she might rest.

  One hard conversation down, and one to go. Isabel tiptoed out and went down toward the nursery, hoping Gemma was there. She stopped when she heard her sister’s soft voice speaking to her children.

  This was going to be hard. She was going to have to break Gemma’s heart. Though Turstin has been distant toward both Gemma and Nicholas, they had welcomed them into Blackstone and had seen to his every need. Now she had to tell her sister he was from the family that had conspired to end her life and take Blackstone from her.

  "I am here," Isabel said as she stepped into the nursery.

  "Ah, there you are. Is Constance well?"

  "She is sleeping now. She says she will feel better once she wakes. She did not sleep well the night before, and that always makes her ill."

  "Hmm, well, you must know, Isabel, we have decided to send her home. She will go after the noon meal. ‘Tis for the best. She needs to be home. I fear she is not well and will get worse under our care."

  "I know. Turstin told me this morning. I have already informed her. She was upset."

  "I am sure she was. I am sorry, Isabel. I know you wished her to stay. She can come back for the wedding with her father, if they choose to come. You can see her then. This is for the best, I assure you. Some of the men-at-arms reported seeing her wandering about at night. It was not safe. That Ronan was never far from her, but it still was not wise for her being a young, unmarried girl."

  "As you would know," Isabel said and then giggled.

  "All right, you are most humorous," Gemma said. "I know I am not one to talk."

  "Gemma, if you could consider this request…"

  "What is it?" Gemma asked as she sat down.

  "Can I return to Tenwick with Constance? Just for a few days. Would that be allowed?"

  "You just came home from there. I think Constance needs the attention of her father, not you."

  Isabel sat down beside Gemma. "I had a disagreement with Turstin. I could use her company right now. I know Nicholas will not allow anyone but himself to see her home, so I will be safe with him. He can come get me in a few days, if you wish. I just worry for her and want to see she is well once she gets home."

  "What happened with Turstin?"

  Sydney and Emme came to sit with them. Emme jumped up on Isabel’s lap and touched the tip of Isabel’s nose with her finger. "I got you," the girl said, delighted with herself.

  "Indeed you did, sweet girl," Isabel said and then laughed.

  "Can we speak further in private?" Isabel asked her sister as Emme giggled more and poked Isabel’s ear. "Is there anything the girls can do while we talk?"

  "Father Darius has not been well, and lessons have been suspended. However, the new priest we requested has arrived. We can see if he is up and ready to help these two resume their lessons. If so, we will have plenty of time to talk."

  "Let us go then," Isabel said. "I would love to meet the new priest."

  They stood as both girls raced off down the passageway.

  "Hesse!" the girls shouted when their nursemaid appeared, their words echoing off the walls.

  "On second thought, stay here," Gemma said to Isabel. "I will ask Hesse to take them outdoors for a while so we may speak, and then later we can go down together to meet the new priest and see to the girls’ first lessons. Miles is already in the outer bailey with Matthew, working with his new sword. We can be alone here."

  Gemma returned quickly. Isabel sat with her hands in her lap. Her slender fingers griped each other as she anticipated the conversation she was about to have with her sister.

  "Now, what is it?" Gemma asked as she sat down next to Isabel. "Something is on your mind, and you look far too serious."

  "’Tis about Turstin."

  "What of him? I know your day did not go well yesterday, but I do not know why. What happened?"

  Isabel let out a long sigh. She did not wish to tell her sister about her humiliation, but she had to tell her that Turstin would not return until the wedding. And she had to tell her of his true identity.

  "Turstin and I had a disagreement. Please do not worry, Gemma. I am not going to try to
fight the marriage. I will be fine by the time we wed. But there is something that concerns you, and I so hate to be the one to tell you what it is."

  Gemma’s hand reached out to pat Isabel’s leg. "I do not know what it could be, but you know you can share anything with me."

  "He is a Bigod," Isabel said bluntly. There, she had said it, and there was no turning back now.

  "Pardon?"

  "He is the son of Hugh Bigod the Second. Phillip Bigod was his uncle."

  "Oh." It was all Gemma said. She sat silently for so long Isabel feared she would never speak again.

  "Please, Gemma. Say something."

  "This makes sense now. This is why Henry wants to put Turstin with you in Renoir. ‘Tis his childhood home. I did not know the younger Hugh, only his father, who would have been Turstin’s grandfather."

  "Aye, Turstin said he left with his father when he was young and only had vague memories of them. He has heard the story of what happened and blames you for it all."

  "That is why he has been so chilly." Gemma stood and went to the arrow loop and peered outside. Slowly, she moved away and began to pace.

  "Are you terribly upset? Does this change things between us? Will I no longer see you after I wed?"

  "Nay, of course not. This is my issue."

  "If you had seen him, Gemma, if you had only seen. You might not be so upset."

  "I did not say I was upset. I am just trying to absorb what you have told me." Gemma stopped as her skirts swirled around her legs. "I should have seen what?"

  "When we were at Renoir, he found a small wooden horse. ‘Twas as if he found gold when he picked it from the chest."

  "His childhood toy, I assume."

  "Aye."

  "There was something else, too. Now that I know he is a Bigod, I think it important you know."

  "What?"

  "Well," Isabel said as she watched her sister begin to pace again, "There was a ring. ‘Twas a gold band and an emerald. It had the same stone as your necklace, the one Father gave you on your wedding day. Do you know of it?"

  "A ring? Really?" Gemma sat down again as a tear trickled down her cheek.

  "Aye, and a map of Blackstone."

  "The ring! Father had a ring that matched the necklace. It was given to Gavin. It must have been his trunk you found there. Where is it?"

  "Turstin said I could have it," Isabel said. Her stomach turned over at the sound of Gavin’s name. A brother she barely knew. A brother who had tried to destroy their family. It still hurt. Gavin had stolen Gemma away and had started their nightmare. He was gone now and was rarely mentioned, but hearing his name was still painful.

  "Then you keep it. I would have to see it, but I would guess ‘twas Father’s ring. Rightfully, it belongs to our family."

  "And of the map?"

  "I do not know. Mayhap Gavin had it. He was determined to find a way into Blackstone. I would not give it much more thought. It is just a reminder of what our brother did. Burn it."

  Isabel reached back to take her braid into her hand. She tossed it thoughtlessly over her shoulder after a moment. "I hope you and Nicholas can still find it in your hearts to visit me after we wed. I do not want to lose you."

  "You will never lose me, Isabel. I will be fine, and so will Nicholas. Do not worry one more moment about it. So long as he is a good husband to you, his name will not matter. I will be at peace with it before you wed. I promise."

  Chapter Fourteen

  The next morning, Isabel rode off with Constance. Gemma had relented and allowed her to visit with Constance at Tenwick. Nicholas would be back for her the next day, so it would be a short visit. Isabel assured her sister it would set her mind at ease.

  They rode swiftly through the woods as the sun beat down from above. Ronan was sullen as they rode but stayed near Constance, never once leaving her side. Isabel admired his commitment to protecting Constance, even if he was often overbearing. For her own peace of mind, Isabel rode with Nicholas and the men he had brought with him.

  Nicholas had not said much to her about Turstin, but she knew Gemma would have told him right away who Turstin truly was. If he was angry, he did not show it. He did not seem overly happy, either. As they rode he kept to talk of simple things and reminded her to be ready after dawn the next day, as he would be back to escort her home. After they arrived at Tenwick, he had a conversation with Lord Beret that left both men frowning.

  "You have your dagger with you?" Nicholas asked Isabel as he walked with her toward the stables. "I am concerned. This visit might not be a good idea."

  "I always have it with me. I do not believe I am brave enough to use it, but I always have it. I do not see any reason for concern. You will be back to get me soon enough. I wanted to be assured Constance is well. I plan to sit with her all day."

  "You have always had a big heart, Isabel, and mayhap you care when you should not. However, I will not tell you how to feel about your friend. I have told Lord Beret of all that has transpired, so do not be surprised if he has an eye on the both of you until I return."

  "Everything?"

  "Aye, everything."

  "Oh, no," Isabel said as they neared the stable entrance. She stopped and grabbed his hand. "I know you had to, but I fear her father may not be as kind as you would be."

  "If she is not well, her father needs to know. ‘Tis none of your concern how he handles it."

  "I know," Isabel said, looking down. "I think I might be able to get her to tell me what is wrong so I might help her. She may not wish to speak with her father about it. Sometimes, fear leads to hiding from the person who would help most." She paused, not wanting to give herself away. She should have told her sister about her spells long ago, but the fear of being ill or branded as mad had led her to keep her secret between herself and Hesse. The only reason she had told Hesse was because the old nursemaid had witnessed an episode. Otherwise, she would have told no one.

  "You will be fine here then?"

  "I would not have asked to come if I thought otherwise. I was here for two years, and nothing befell me."

  "I will take my leave," he said. "Be ready at dawn tomorrow. I will return for you then."

  She watched him go with mixed feelings. Leaving Blackstone when her heart was in tatters was hard enough without Nicholas reminding her of how much they loved her. Her feelings were not important at the moment. Constance needed her, and that was all that mattered.

  Isabel wasted no time in finding Constance. She was in her chambers, ordering a chambermaid to find her a new kirtle and to bring her water so she could clean her face.

  "’Tis so strange to be back here so soon," Isabel said in an attempt to lighten the mood. Constance appeared to be angry and was taking it out on the chambermaid. The young girl scurried about the room, trying to keep up with what Constance ordered of her.

  "Aye, far too soon. Father is angry with me, and he wants to see both of us."

  "Me, too?" Isabel asked, surprised.

  "Aye. I do not know what this has to do with you or what he heard from Nicholas, but ‘tis not a good mood he is in."

  Constance wiggled out of her kirtle, and the chambermaid picked up the clean one and stepped forward to help her don the lovely blue fabric.

  "Nay, I shall help her dress," Isabel said, taking the kirtle from the girl’s hand. "Constance, I am happy to assist you."

  "Very well," Constance said. If it were possible, Isabel swore she saw fire shoot from her friend’s eyes as she glared at the chambermaid.

  "Go then," Isabel said to the girl. "I will take care of everything."

  Neither spoke as Isabel helped Constance dress and freshen up. Isabel fixed Constance’s hair and aided her in washing her face.

  "There, you are beautiful," Isabel said to assure her friend all was well.

  Constance reached up and pinched the skin near her cheekbones to redden her skin. "Do I look well? I fear I have been pale lately. At least, that is what Gemma told me. Do I have color in my
cheeks now?"

  "Aye, you look lovely," Isabel said. Constance always seemed to be aware of her beauty, while at the same time, doubting it. It was hard to guess how she was feeling about herself at any given moment. Isabel had learned to smile and nod, which she did as she answered.

  "Let us find Father and get this out of the way. We may then enjoy the rest of the day together." Constance reached out for Isabel’s hand, and they walked together down the steps and entered the hall where Lord Beret was waiting for them.

  "Lovely to see you again, Isabel," he said. His voice was stiff, and his eyes did not meet hers. Instead, he stared at his daughter intently.

  "Thank you, milord," Isabel said in a murmur, knowing he was not expecting any answer.

  "And you, daughter, I am happy to have you home. Please, ladies, sit at the dais with me. We shall have wine and talk. Nicholas is concerned and shared those concerns with me. We might set a few things straight before another moment passes."

  Both scurried to do his bidding. Though Lord Beret was smiling, it did not reach his eyes.

  "So, what is this about digging in tunnels and keeping odd hours, Constance?" he asked. Wine was placed before them, but Isabel did not touch hers. Constance blanched at the sight of it and shook her head. So much for her cheek-pinching trick. Her skin was as pale as the newly born moon.

  "’Tis nothing, Father, really. I had heard too many romantic tales. In a moment of weakness, I wanted to see the tunnel for myself. Mayhap my knight would be waiting at the other end, if I wished hard enough."

  "Constance, stop this nonsense," Beret said. "And of your odd hours? Could you not sleep away from home? I have sheltered you too much."

  "That may have been the problem," she answered. "I am not sure. ‘Tis nothing to worry about, Father. I assure you I am well, and there is nothing else to tell."

  "Isabel? What say you?"

  "I have nothing to say, milord. I, too, am concerned, but she seems well."

  "Well enough that you came back to Tenwick to see she is settled in before you part ways? Seems odd behavior to me. Is there something either of you needs to tell me?"