Enigma

by C. M. Lally

  The timer dings letting me know the bread is done. I turn away from him, releasing a heavy sigh before sliding my hand into the oven mitt and removing the pan of garlic bread. The heavy aroma wafts into the air, and I swallow my frustration at Lou while salivating over the meal to come.

  He grabs his plate and a spatula from the crock next to the stove and serves himself. I slice the bread and plop a few pieces onto his place as he passes heading to the table.

  I serve myself and pull out the chair across from him. The one Jade always sat in. My head drops with that thought. Damn, I didn’t think it would be so difficult coming here without her, but she’s everywhere.

  “Look, I miss her. I do. I know I screwed up, but I don’t know how to find her to apologize.”

  “Well, that’ easy to fix. She’s at the gym every afternoon from 2:00 - 4:00 pm with her trainer, but is apologizing all you want to do? The way she tells it, you had a real connection.”

  His words crawl across the table and invade every thought I have. We did have a real connection until I got to over-thinking and shut down everything we had going. “Haven’t you ever screwed up so bad, you didn’t know where to begin to fix it? You think taking your time will help and some creative solution will come to you, but nothing ever does and time passes, only to make it worse. They move on because they’re tired of waiting for you to get your shit together, but you haven’t given up yet. Then you’re forced to give up.”

  I take a few bites of the food, and even though it’s delicious, it sits heavy in my mouth and hard to swallow. I stab at the chunks of vegetables and pasta, stuffing them in my mouth, chewing absently until it finally all goes down.

  “Yeah. That’s what happened with Eugenia and me.” I look up at him. His eyes are drawn and sad. “I went off to the military, and it changed me. I didn’t feel like the good soul that I was when I left. I was more dead inside than when I left in the first place, seeing things I never thought I’d ever erase from my mind. Scenes played out over and over in my mind when I shut my eyes at night, like a film reeling on continuous play. I was a mess emotionally, and my heart couldn’t take it. My blood pressure shot up. I had anxiety. Now they call that PTSD. I started with Angina with my heart condition, and then they up and released me from duty.”

  “Aww, Lou.” My emotions were in my throat. I wanted to say so much more but didn’t know what to say exactly.

  “I came home, but I couldn’t face her. Rage filled me even more than before and being an irate, black man in the South during that time was not good. So I moved away to the city to reinvent myself. No one knew me to bother me. Anyway, I’m not going to bore you with my story. The point is, I don’t want to see you make the same mistakes. Kol, I know you’re a proud man, and you’ve got issues with trusting people. You’re not handing in your man card to tell her how you feel. Even if the words aren’t perfect, they still show your intentions.”

  He takes a few bites and then starts to shovel in his food. His conscience is clear now, while mine is a fucking mess. I push my plate away, feeling sick. My thoughts are scattered and wild right now, and I thought she was chaos. “I’ll be back. I’m going up to Home Depot before they close for the night.” With the keys in my hand, I leave him to enjoy his meal in peace.

  Chapter Twenty-Six - Jade

  I’M NERVOUS AS HELL, but I’ve been through this before. Well, not for me, but for Kol.

  I’ve watched a million videos, it seems. I’ve taken in all the pointers I can. I’ve remembered the things that Kol taught me. Now I have to piece it all together with the new things Vanessa has shown me, and pray it leads to victory. The only thing I can’t seem to do is eat. The thought of choking down food right now makes me nauseous. So, I’m nibbling.

  A shadow falls across the doorway. I inhale a sharp breath and choke on the olive I swallowed. The bitter tang burns my throat as tears well up in my eyes. I brush them with my forefinger before speaking. “Hey.”

  That’s it? That’s all I can come up with when I haven’t seen him in so long. He looks amazing.

  “Hey, yourself. You look great! I know you’re ready. I’ve watched your training film.”

  “You have?”

  “Yeah, Lou let me watch them. Actually, I asked him to watch them.” His eyes fall to the floor. “I, uh, I wanted to let you know that day in the hospital—trust wasn’t the right word I wanted to use. I do trust you. Ever since our trip.” He looks up, and our eyes meet. He looks tired...and defeated. His face is pale from exhaustion, and dark circles are coloring the skin under his beautiful brown eyes. “The truth is, I didn’t believe in myself anymore. I blamed you, and I’m sorry.”

  “But you’re the greatest fighter I know,” I reassure him. I still feel strongly that he is. I’ve never wavered in that thought.

  “Then you don’t know many fighters,” he laughs, walking to me and lacing his fingers with mine. “You showed me I had flaws. That I could be beaten. Even though it may have always been true, I never saw it. Lou had me built up so strong in my mind, that nothing could penetrate this thick skull of mine.” He taps on his head and clicks his teeth making his head sound hollow. I chuckle because no matter how much he hurt me, he can still make me laugh.

  “Lou was right. I had too many hard edges, and I needed to soften a few of them. I needed you to help me do that.”

  “Do you still need me?” The butterflies swirl in my stomach as he considers my question.

  “I do. I need you so I don’t build myself up again so much that I can’t see myself breaking. Wait, that’s not exactly what I wanted to say.”

  “It doesn’t matter; ‘I need you’ was all I heard anyway.”

  “I may be fast in the cage, but I’m slow with my feelings. I do need you and I also want you, so if you’ll bear with me and give us time, I want to build a relationship with you that lasts forever.”

  I reach out and pull him into my embrace, jumping up to clasp my legs around his waist. He catches me, and our lips finally meet again. His tongue slides in to caress mine, and I know for sure, this is going to be a great night.

  He breaks the kiss and holds my face in his hands. “I am whole again. Like the missing piece of my puzzle is found,” his hot breath whispers against my lips.

  “The Enigma is solved,” I whisper back before kissing him again.

  “Jade, this is not what I meant when I asked you to stay warmed up,” Vanessa, my trainer, scolds.

  I drop my legs from around his waist and pop another olive in my mouth. “I have been eating and also stretching. Kol here was helping me stretch my hip flexors.”

  “Yeah, that’s what it looked like. You,” she points to Kol and gestures toward the door, “out. She needs to focus. And you,” she points to me waving her perfectly manicured finger, “need to eat more. This buffet barely looks touched. How do you expect to stay energized with only a few olives? Eat!”

  Kol turns back toward me and places a quick kiss on my lips. “Good luck, ‘Jade the Grenade,’ but I know you won’t need it.” He winks before stepping through the door.

  “Damn girl,” Vanessa turns back to me after watching Kol leave. “You said he was hot, but shit. You never said he would melt me.”

  “That’s mine,” I warn her, pointing after him.

  Another shadow crosses into the doorway. “Who, Me?” Shawn’s full, but goofy smile makes me laugh.

  “Awww. You came to see me fight!” I run over and hug him. “This one, however, is available for you to tease and torment all you want,” I inform her. “Shawn, this is Vanessa, my trainer. Vanessa, this is Shawn, the brother of the amazing, hot, melting man that just left.”

  “Oh. Brother? And you say he’s available, huh?”

  The blush on this cheeks and the glint in Shawn’s eyes lets me know he likes what he sees.

  “Listen, I’m going to go find my seat, but be ferocious out there. I know you have it in you. Bring home win number one. We start counting upward from here.” He ki
sses my cheek and exits the room as fast as he entered.

  “I like him too,” she says handing me a plate. “Now eat.”

  THE REFEREE RAISES my arm up to announce the winner of the match and the small crowd gathered around goes crazy. I look out to see Kol and Shawn in the front row, and then Angie, Leanne, and Candy right behind them, whooping and hollering. The only thing I actually hear is Kol growling, “That’s my girl!”

  Even though my eye is starting to swell, and blood is trickling down off the bridge of my nose, the smile on my face at this moment could never be erased. I wave my finger in the air to the photographers to show my first win, and I couldn’t be more proud of myself. This is the first step toward making my dreams come true.

  Vanessa holds open my robe, and I slide my arms into it, exiting the Octagon. My mom is standing in the far corner, near the locker room with tears running down her cheeks. She opens her arms as I ran into them. “I won, Mom. I won.”

  “I see that, honey. You were amazing. Now let’s go take a look at that eye and nose.” The nurse in her is always on duty.

  After getting a shower and bandaged up by my mommy, we all gather in the lounge chatting.

  “This calls for something special. We should all head over to Dontonio’s for a celebratory meal and some drinks,” Shawn announces.

  “How is that special?” Kol rolls his eyes teasing him.

  “It’s all on me.”

  “Well, that is special,” Liam announces and we all laugh.

  My face hurts, but not enough to keep me from eating.

  “You’re coming with me in my car,” Kol announces.

  As we make our way to our cars, Kol places his hand on the small of my back like he always did before, and now I am complete. He’s back where he belongs, and now that I know where we stand, I look forward to the long building of our relationship.

  He opens the door for me, and I slide into the passenger seat. As he gets in, he pulls something out of his pocket. A small, square box and holds it up for me to see in the moonlight.

  “What is this?” I ask, swallowing the ball of tension in my throat. The butterflies go crazy in my stomach again.

  “It’s a little something to let you know I support you, and that I love you fiercely.” He flips open the hinge on the box to reveal a bracelet with a single charm on it. I pull it out of the box to take a closer look at the charm. It’s a grenade. “Awww. It’s a grenade. I love it, and I love you back, my Enigma.”

  Epilogue - Jade and Kol

  18 months later...

  “WOW, LOOK AT THOSE?” I ask Jade as she enters the living room and makes her way to me amid the strewn moving boxes. We’re both lost in thought staring at the shiny gold, matching Champion belts that now sit side-by-side on our new mantle.

  I turn to her, and my breath catches in my throat. She’s wearing my thin, red flannel shirt that she has tied at her trim waist, showing her belly-button. It’s hanging off her shoulder because it’s so big, but she loves that shirt. Her cut-off jean shorts are ripped with long strands of raveled material hanging down her tanned legs. A ponytail sticks up from between a faded old bandanna wrapped around her platinum blond mane, but what tops off this look is the swollen, black eye and busted lip she’s sporting from her fight a few nights ago.

  “What? What’s wrong?” Her hand presses against my cheek and forehead feeling for a fever or some kind of sickness to explain my shallow breathing. The sudden look of concern in her eyes is endearing.

  “Nothing is wrong, my love. I just fell more in love with you, and I didn’t think it was possible.”

  I watch her shoulders drop, and her eyes soften. “Awwww. Are you sure you didn’t get kicked too hard last week? He hit you pretty good in the chest.”

  “Nope. I’m fine, but I’m seriously in love with you.”

  She reaches up on tippy toes and kisses my lips. Her long nails graze the back of my neck as her arms wrap around me. “And I’m seriously in love with you. Just think, no more trudging back and forth between apartments. No more decisions about whose place we’re going to sleep at or eat at, but more importantly shower at.”

  “And no more frustration because I forgot my razor or you forgot your hair gel. We’re all in one place now. Are you nervous? I mean, spending more than 24-hours with me without a break may finally drive you crazy.” My hands move to her waist, and my thumbs draw tiny circles on her exposed skin.

  “No. I’m over that already. I’ve been crazy for months.” She teasingly pushes on my chest. “I’m crazy in love with you.” Her fingers scratch at my chest, and my dick starts to grow hard, knowing how those nails feel on my back.

  Throats clear behind us. “Alright, you two. Save that for later. We’ve still got two trucks to unload. Kol, I need your help with the mattress and box springs,” Shawn advises while Vanessa hands Jade a box that reads ‘Bathroom.’ The girls go off and Shawn, and I head back out to the truck.

  “Are you still doing ‘the thing’ tonight?” He uses his air quotes for emphasis.

  “Yes, if we get everything moved in and squared away.” I stop at the back of the truck and look inside at how full it is. I step to the side and look in the open door of the truck that contains Jade’s items. It’s almost empty. Thank God. “So, umm, yeah. Tonight.”

  He peeks around me to see what I’m looking at and nods his head. “Better step it up into a higher gear then.” He play punches at my upper arm, and I dance around to avoid the hit. I throw a few play jabs his way before he steps back with his arms crossed begging for a time-out. “I’m not fighting the most recent UFC Welterweight Champion. I wouldn’t make it into the restaurant for a month.”

  “Chicken shit!”

  “Yup. That’s exactly what I am. C’mon. We need some speed if you want to play Romeo tonight.”

  We empty the truck over the next few hours. Surprisingly, I had the largest things to unload, but Jade had the most boxes, all neat, organized and titled. All in all, we are still balancing each other.

  I watch her bend and stretch to hang pictures and place items on shelves, adjusting them to perfection. She stands back and evaluates every object in the space she is resigning it too, never once asking for my opinion. I love her confidence.

  I’ll admit that I’ve been nervous about us moving in together more than a handful of times. The only thought that keeps me from shutting this whole idea down is the memory of the few months I spent without her. I can’t go through that again. Ever.

  I don’t even like it when we have to separate for fights. The UFC does everything they can to help us be together, and not miss each other’s match. We push hard to do whatever it is we need to do to be together. We’ve both traveled with bruised faces, broken noses, cracked ribs, and jammed fingers or toes.

  We could write a book loaded with air travel stories to tell. I smile thinking about how she always thinks she’s going to scare small children with her swollen face. She’s had many women stop her to make sure she’s alright and to advise her to ‘leave the fool’ that did that to her face.

  It’s funny how I don’t even see the temporary imperfections after the fights. The golden heart behind the beautiful smile and gorgeous green eyes is enough for me.

  “Hey, Babe,” she calls to me from the kitchen.

  “Yes,” I reply, walking to her and leaning into the door frame.

  “You’ve been daydreaming in there. Shawn said something about you two having business at the restaurant this evening. Vanessa is going to stay here and help me finish unpacking the essentials. You better get a shower and hustle. It’s almost 5:00 pm,” she warns, tapping her imaginary wristwatch.

  “Thanks. Our meeting with a new supplier is at 6:00 pm. Why don’t you and Vanessa come around 7:30 pm? Dress up and we’ll celebrate the move.”

  “Alright. We can do that.” She looks around at the mess in the kitchen: half-open boxes, newspaper wadded up, and stacks of dishes and pans everywhere. She blows a stray hair from
her eyes and smiles brightly.

  I kiss her on her sexy, puckered lips and head toward the shower, but turn quickly to make one last request. “Oh, and wear that red jumpsuit. You know, the low cut and backless one.” I wiggle my eyebrows at her, as my hands demonstrate how low-cut it is.

  “Yes, Sir!” I hear her giggling as I walk away.

  “OKAY. IT’S ALL SET,” I say aloud. Standing back and looking at the long tables seated for twelve. Shawn comes up behind me and checks out my handiwork at table decorations. I gesture to each seat as I inform him of the seating plan. “We’ll sit in the middle here where the tables split, so I can bend down on one knee. Her mom will sit here. Lou over there across from her. Miss Crawford next to him. You and Vanessa here and there. Candy, Leanne and Angie here at the end. Then Liam and Tommy at the other end. What do you think?”

  He taps his chin with his forefinger. “Looks good to me,” he shrugs his shoulder in agreement. “What time is everyone coming?”

  “I told them 7:00 pm. I told her and Vanessa 7:30 pm.” He looks at his watch and heads straight toward the kitchen.

  I hung the sign up in the window earlier that says, ‘Closed for Private Party at 6:00 pm. No seating after 4:00 pm.’ I feel bad for Shawn; he’s missing out on a lot of business on a warm Saturday night, but he swears he doesn’t mind.

  It’s almost go-time, and my palms are sweating in an air-conditioned room. Nerves are good, or at least Lou always says so. Nerves will keep you focused. My nerves have my stomach doing somersaults.

  How does that saying go...”If she doesn’t scare the hell out of you a little, she isn’t the one.” Well, I’m fucking petrified.