Any World That I'm Welcome To

by Tymber Dalton

  * * * *

  I need to dump the tequila.

  Dexter kept his eyes closed, gasping with need when Neil’s hand reached under him, closed around his cock, and slowly squeezed.

  “Yeah, buddy,” Neil whispered. “I’m going to take care of that for you. I promise. Just stay right there and don’t move.”

  He almost begged Neil not to leave when he felt the man’s warm, comforting weight disappear from his back. Keeping his eyes closed, Dex listened as he heard Neil undressing, opening a drawer, getting something from the bathroom.

  Neil knelt behind him, on the floor. “If you want to safeword for anything, go ahead.” His hands finished easing Dex’s shorts all the way down and off his legs, the feel of Neil’s breath against his stinging ass nearly making Dex beg him to do something.

  Anything.

  To touch him again.

  He craved touch, craved contact. It wasn’t even that he was horny, although he was. It was that cuddling in the hospital bed next to Tamsin was a kind of torture, unsure how much, if anything, she could hear and understand.

  Nothing in return except the cold comfort that she wasn’t dead.

  Neil’s hands closed over Dex’s ass cheeks, spreading them, followed by the feel of Neil’s tongue rimming him, trailing down to his balls, back up again.

  Dex groaned, once again fisting the sheets, this time to keep from blowing his load right there.

  It only took him a minute or two to realize that the louder he moaned when Neil did something, the more Neil did it.

  He didn’t have to tell or ask Neil what to do.

  He didn’t have to break down and say it.

  If he had to ask for it, he wasn’t even sure if he could right now.

  But he wanted it.

  Badly.

  Needed it.

  Craved it.

  But he couldn’t make himself ask for it.

  Neil’s mouth disappeared and Dex found himself humping the air, wanting the contact. That’s when he felt Neil’s fingers return, covered with cool lube and probing his ass.

  Dex arched his back, spreading his legs wider, muffling his moans against the covers. Neil slowly stroked Dex’s cock with one hand and took his time working one, then two fingers inside him.

  Fuck…fuck…fuck…!

  Maybe he’d hate himself in the morning for taking advantage of Neil like this, but right now, he needed something to drive the agony out of his brain for a few minutes.

  A distraction.

  It wasn’t like he was cheating on Tam, either. A long-running, totally serious joke between them was about their “hall-pass fucks.” He’d always listed Neil, knowing it’d never happen but still wondering what-if in the back of his mind.

  She’d always cheerfully approved that, because hers was Ryan Reynolds, and yeah, like that would ever happen. Of course he’d said yeah.

  Hell, the man had a great ass. Although not as great as…

  Neil’s.

  The third finger was a little tougher to take, Neil’s movements slowing even as he stroked Dex’s cock more, scissoring his fingers, adding plenty of lube, until Neil was easily able to fuck him with them and Dex rocked back and forth once more in time with the movement.

  Damn, it felt good having someone else’s hands on him.

  “Shit,” Neil muttered, pausing.

  “What?” Dex gasped.

  “I’m out of condoms.”

  Somewhere in his room, Dex knew he had some.

  Except he didn’t want to stop what was happening. Unless Neil had lied to them when they’d had discussions about this in the course of Dex approving Neil doing orgasm play on Tam, it wasn’t like he was at risk.

  “I don’t care. Bare’s fine.”

  “Fair enough.” Fingers disappeared, quickly replaced by the head of Neil’s cock pressing for entrance.

  Dex knew he could either waste time contemplating this line they were about to cross, or enjoy it and shut his brain off. So Dex thrust back, impaling himself as Neil’s hands settled on his waist.

  “Damn, man.” Neil sounded like the edges of his control had frayed. “That’s a fine ass.”

  “Then fuck. Me.”

  Neil folded his body over Dex’s back. “I set the pace this time,” he whispered in Dex’s left ear. “Then you’ll get your turn, and you can fuck me as fast or as slow as you want. I want to savor this.”

  Neil’s fingers laced with his as Neil slowly long-stroked him, Dex’s cock now rubbing against the edge of the bed. Dex rocked in time with his strokes, Neil’s chin resting on the back of his head, his breath warm on his scalp.

  While the first stroke had felt almost raw, his body stretching to accommodate the man’s cock, it quickly turned into warm pleasure while Neil managed to glide his shaft over Dex’s sweet spot with every thrust.

  Neil’s breath quickened, his pace increasing, harder, deeper, until his balls slapped against Dex’s ass with each stroke and the sound of their fucking filled the room. Neil’s hands squeezed his, hard, as Neil let out a deep groan and fell still inside him.

  Nothing but the sound of their breathing.

  Like a flash, Neil pulled out, flipped him over, and straddled him. He quickly slicked lube over Dex’s cock and dropped onto Dex’s shaft, impaling his ass on Dex’s cock, both of them groaning.

  Neil’s eyes dropped closed. “Oh, fuck yeah.”

  Neil leaned forward and kissed him, sucking on his tongue while Dex raised his knees until he could brace his feet on the edge of the mattress. Holding on to Neil’s hips, Dex fucked his cock up into him, slamming it deep and hard, this time matching the brutal pace Neil set with his tongue fucking Dex’s mouth.

  “Give it to me,” Neil murmured. “Give me every bit of it, baby. Hard as you want. Take what you need. Use me.”

  Dex rolled them over and slung Neil’s legs over his shoulders, pinning him there, pressing Neil’s thighs against his shoulders while he piledrove his cock into him.

  “Like that?”

  Neil’s gaze looked soft, heavy lidded. “Yeah. Harder. Give it all to me. Take it out on me.”

  Tension, anger, grief, pain—need. All rolled into a big, spiky ball in his soul. He felt Neil’s cock hardening again between them even as he fucked him. This time, Dex leaned in and kissed Neil, crushing, brutally.

  Needing this man and needing the safety of him.

  Wanting this.

  He buried his face against Neil’s neck as he came, muffling his cries against the man’s flesh. It wasn’t until he felt Neil’s arms and legs wrap tightly around him and he heard Neil making soft, comforting noises that Dex finally realized he was sobbing.

  Neil held him, stroking his back. “It’s okay, buddy. Let it out. Give it to me. I’ve got you. We’re in this together.”

  Dex closed his eyes and moaned in agony, his soul shredded.

  She might never come back to them.

  Ever.

  And he could never move forward.

  Not without her.

  Not with any other woman.

  Ever.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Neil knew Dex had been hurting, but the stubborn man’s well of pain was even deeper than Neil had realized. Once the worst of Dex’s emotional storm had passed, Neil gently extricated himself from Dex’s arms and helped him out of bed and to the shower. After soaping both of them up and rinsing off, Neil held Dex under the spray.

  The shorter man felt right in his arms. Even as he thought that, Neil hated himself for it.

  Had he just taken advantage of his best friend and the worst possible situation and made it more horrific? Or was this a breakthrough for them both?

  A way to mutually survive the unimaginable?

  Dex stood with his arms around Neil and his face pressed against his shoulder. With his brain once again able to think, Neil hoped he hadn’t fucked them up.

  Talking didn’t feel right. So he nuzzled Dex’s temple, kissing him there. His own cock had wi
lted a little, between comforting Dex and the journey to the shower, but he felt something else.

  Dex’s cock wasn’t exactly soft.

  Dex tipped his head back, his left hand reaching up to cup the back of Neil’s neck and pull him down for a kiss.

  His right slid between them, gathering both of their cocks in his hand and slowly squeezing them.

  Neil groaned as his cock instantly hardened.

  No words were necessary. Neil’s arms enveloped Dex’s body, holding him as Dex’s hand stroked their cocks. They swallowed each other’s moans and grief and, for that single moment in time, they focused only on each other.

  * * * *

  So many things Dex wanted to say lay locked inside his throat, confusion, pain, guilt—and his feelings for Neil.

  Best not to talk, to simply go with this, let it happen.

  He wanted it to happen. He wanted to tell Neil thank you for knocking sense into him and didn’t know how…yet.

  Instead, he’d show him.

  Neil’s cock was barely shorter than his own, but a little thicker. He wanted to get to know it well, maybe eventually get to the point where he could reciprocate better.

  Lips and tongues, hot breath, mutual need. All sounds lost under the running water, this small, perfect world and small, perfect moment. Any world he could escape to for a few precious, fleeting minutes, where he’d be welcomed to lay down his grief and refill his emotional well.

  Him and Neil, both.

  As Dex’s hand stroked them harder, faster, he grew more confident. Neil started humping his hips in time with Dex’s movements, thrusting to meet every stroke.

  He’d hoped to get them off at the same time, but the feel of Neil’s cock sliding along his felt too damn good. Neil swallowed every sound Dex made as his hot cum coated his own hand and both their cocks.

  Dex wasn’t going to stop, but Neil broke their kiss, smiling down at him before dropping to his knees and taking Dex into his mouth, deep-throating his softening cock all the way to the root.

  Bracing himself against the wall, he stared down at Neil, how the man eagerly worshipped his cock, his balls, hands sliding around to cup his still tender ass and hold him in place.

  “Fuck, yeah,” Dex whispered, impossibly feeling himself harden for a third time under Neil’s skilled mouth.

  He hadn’t felt this horny in a long time. Not since…

  Not since he and Tam had first gotten together.

  “Mmhmm,” Neil mumbled, the vibrations from his mouth working their way through Dex’s balls in a delicious way.

  “What about you?” he gasped. “That’s not fair.”

  Neil kept his fingers wrapped around Dex’s cock, even though he pulled his mouth free for a moment. “I’m forty-three, buddy. You have eight years on me. I’ll wait a little while for the next one. Let me enjoy this, because I am enjoying it.”

  With that, he swallowed Dex’s cock again.

  Dex dropped one hand to Neil’s head, stroking his wet hair, trying not to think about how this had all happened.

  It didn’t matter now.

  The only thing that mattered was that in this nightmare world they lived in, they had each other. They truly understood what the other was feeling, their shared loss and grief keen and sharp and real, but with complete empathy.

  “Don’t make me come yet,” Dex finally said. “Go get the lube.”

  Neil pointed at the caddy hanging from the shower head, and there sat a small bottle.

  “Perfect.” Dex grabbed it and pulled away from Neil, sitting in front of him and handing it to him. “Do it.” He lay down on his back, pulling his knees up, spread wide.

  * * * *

  Neil blinked in surprise, but quickly recovered and started lubing Dex’s ass again. When he slowly pressed his cockhead against Dex’s rim, Dex rolled his hips, taking him in faster, deeper.

  Then Dex reached for his own cock with one hand, and with the other cupped the back of Neil’s neck and pulled him in for a hard, deep kiss.

  Neil was already close. He knew Dex was no stranger to anal play just from their own personal discussions, but his ass still felt tight and hot and threatened to make Neil nut too quickly.

  Slowing his thrusts so Dex could catch up, he tried to read the man, listened to his breath, the tension in his muscles. Finally, Dex started taking shorter, jerkier strokes with his hand and Neil picked up the pace. Just as he felt Dex’s ass start to really grab his cock as he came, Neil’s balls exploded, emptying load number two into the man.

  Mine.

  Took everything Neil had not to say it out loud. But he also knew he was the first man Dex had ever been with. He’d be lying if he said knowing his cock was the first in there didn’t make him feel at least a little possessive.

  When Neil tried to sit up, Dex sucked on his lower lip, holding him in place.

  Neil couldn’t resist him and returned the kiss. Only when Dex was ready to release him did Neil finally sit up. “We’re losing hot water.”

  Dex nodded.

  Neil reluctantly withdrew his spent cock from Dex’s ass and helped the man to his feet. After another round of soaping themselves and cleaning up, Neil shut the water off and reached for towels.

  Dex looked…exhausted. Much the way he felt.

  Neil pulled him in for one more hug. “Want to sleep in bed with me tonight? You can even be the big spoon, if you want,” he tried to joke. “I won’t argue with you.”

  Dex nodded.

  Neil pulled the comforter off the bed to wash tomorrow. They didn’t need it tonight anyway. Sliding under the covers, Dex did spoon himself around Neil and in just a few minutes was sound asleep.

  Neil lay there in the dark, Dex’s arm draped over his waist, and listened to the sound of the other man’s breathing.

  How long since he’d been with someone? Well before the accident. Months. And that hadn’t even been snuggling, just a guy he’d met up at the Toucan, a little subby who’d wanted his ass beat and to give a blow job and get jacked off.

  There’d been no cuddling. No emotional intimacy.

  Sure, he had friends he could call for comfort, including in the Suncoast Society.

  None of them friends he knew as well as Dex.

  Or Tamsin.

  No one he was close to. Really intimate with emotionally, the way he was with Tam and Dex.

  Especially now with Dex.

  I hope you wouldn’t hate us for this, Tam. I know you always joked you’d love to watch us together, but we’re both in so much fucking pain. I know that’s nothing compared to what you’re going through. I love you, and I love him.

  Neil closed his eyes and tried to go to sleep. Despite his exhaustion, he couldn’t fall asleep because, ironically, Dex felt too good next to him. He knew Dex hadn’t been sleeping well at all, either, so at least one of them was able to rest tonight.

  At some point, Neil had finally drifted off to sleep, but awakened immediately when he felt Dex roll onto his other side in sleep.

  Then he backed against Neil, only stopping when his ass was firmly pressed against Neil’s.

  Unable to help himself, Neil turned and slipped an arm around Dex, almost bursting into tears when Dex’s hand found his.

  Like that, Neil was finally able to crash into sleep.

  * * * *

  When the alarm went off too fucking early the next morning, Neil shut it off and gave serious thought to calling in.

  Dex never stirred, snuggled deep in his well-deserved slumber. He was used to sleeping through Tam’s alarm and their usual weekday morning activities.

  How would the other man feel about him this morning?

  Had he screwed up last night by pushing things to a head?

  Moving carefully so as not to wake him, Neil untangled himself from Dex and didn’t turn on any lights as he headed to the bathroom. Normally, he’d go make the coffee first, but he didn’t want to go in and out any more than necessary.

  He wanted to let
Dex sleep. Once the man returned to work, he wouldn’t necessarily get a decent night’s sleep for a while as he settled into his schedule.

  After shaving and a shower, Neil groped his way to the closet and closed himself in before turning on the light to find clothes. He dressed in there, leaving his tie draped loosely around his collar.

  After turning the lights off, he carried his shoes and blazer out to the bedroom and opened the door. In the light drifting in from the hallway, he found his phone and wallet and stood there, taking one long, last look at Dex still sound asleep in his bed.

  Part of him wanted to walk over and kiss Dex good-bye, except he didn’t want to wake him up. Not just because he looked so peaceful.

  But because he didn’t want to find out Dex now hated him for last night.

  He quietly left the bedroom, gently shutting the door behind him. Then he used Dex’s bathroom mirror to tie his tie, and slipped on his shoes and blazer before he studied his reflection.

  He felt…ancient. Like years instead of months had passed. He still expected Tam to pop up behind him, full of playful morning grins, looking to cause the fun kind of trouble.

  His playful morning baby brat.

  After turning off the light, he headed down the hall. Karyn offered him a tired smile. “Good morning, Neil.”

  “Morning. How’d she sleep?” He leaned in and kissed Tam’s forehead.

  “She was actually a little restless around two this morning. She opened her eyes and moved her head, but when I talked to her, she didn’t seem to respond. Then she went back to sleep.”

  “She’s not in pain, is she?”

  “I don’t think so. I just gave her her morning nutrition and hydration a few minutes ago and she slept through it.”

  “Okay. Thank you.” He wasn’t sure how to broach the subject. “Sorry about last night.”

  “Come again?”

  “Dex got a little…emotional.”

  “He’s only human. I’m sure he didn’t mean to upset you. Don’t be too hard on him or yourself. I’m sure Tamsin wouldn’t want you to feel like that, if what you’ve told me about her is true.”