Leaving Home
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So he’d never taken anyone he cared about home. Then when his father had died two
years ago, Chaz had told his mother about his personal life. She wasn’t happy and thought it was wrong, but she didn’t disown him, or anything like that. It might have been because
Matthew and his other two brothers had supported him.
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It was because of how his own family had reacted that Chaz had been so amazed about
Peter being shunned by his family. Heck, Chaz’s mom didn’t like the idea of him being gay, but she still loved him and talked to him as often as possible.
After picking up his bags, he walked out of the room to head to the lobby. He’d check
out, then stroll over to the restaurant. Chaz paid his bill before turning to go out to his truck.
“Hey, Chaz. What the hell are you doing here? I thought you were leaving the country
for vacation.”
He winced inside, but smiled as he faced one of his fellow bullfighters walking towards
him. “Sam, what’s up, man?”
“Not much. Just picking up some extra work.” Sam held out his hand.
Chaz shook it. “Plans changed at the last minute. Came here to meet a friend. Heading
out for the last couple of weeks of break. The rodeo’s over with, man. Shouldn’t you be back at your place?”
“Decided to hang out here for a little while before going back home. Taking a break
from the kids.” Sam glanced around, then motioned towards a set of chairs in a corner of the lobby. “Can we talk for a moment?”
“I’m supposed to meet a friend for lunch.”
Disappointment flashed in Sam’s eyes. Chaz could tell that whatever he wanted to talk
about was important to the man. He took a deep breath and nodded.
“All right, Sam. Let me call my friend and let him know I’m going to be late. Then I’ll be over there and we can talk.”
“Thanks, Chaz.”
He watched Sam stroll over to the chairs. Chaz dug out his phone to call Peter, then
waited for him to answer.
“Hello, Chaz.”
“Hey, Peter, I might be a little late. I ran into a friend, and he wants to talk to me about something important. I couldn’t say no.”
Though he had to wonder why Sam would want to talk to him. Chaz knew he was well
liked among the riders and the bullfighters. Mostly because he did everything he could to keep them safe, even if it meant he got injured in their place. He considered most of the men he worked with friends, but he wasn’t the guy they came to when they had problems, that
was for sure.
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Yet there sat Sam, waiting patiently for Chaz to finish talking to Peter. Had someone
told the younger man that Chaz was a good guy to have a chat with? Who would have done
that? No one would ever accuse Chaz of being the wise old man who gave good advice.
“That’s all right. I can do some work while I wait.” Peter still didn’t sound happy, but
Chaz was pretty sure it wasn’t because of him.
“Thanks. I’ll call you as soon as I’m done to let you know I’m on the way,” he told
Peter.
“Sounds good to me. I don’t have anything to do this afternoon, so take your time.”
Chaz laughed. “Honey, I have no idea why he’d want to talk to me about anything. I’m
not the best at advice.”
Peter chuckled. “Who knows? Maybe you’re the best one for the conversation.”
“I don’t know about that. But I have to go. I’ll call you in a little bit.”
“Okay. Bye.” Peter hung up.
After putting his phone away, Chaz walked over to where Sam waited. He dropped his
bags on the floor next to the chair before he sat.
“What did you want to talk about, Sam?”
Sam glanced around the lobby, obviously checking to make sure no one was close
enough to overhear them. Like anything we talk about will bring the world to a halt if someone hears.
“I wanted to ask you about your back.”
Chaz stiffened slightly. He’d forgotten Sam had been there during the last event when
his back had gone out, and all he’d been able to do was lie on the floor in the changing room while Sam and Danny had done the job one fighter short.
“It’s getting better, so I’ll be fine by Tulsa.” He wasn’t going to tell Sam anything else.
Sam was younger than Chaz, and Chaz could tell Sam was uncomfortable asking him
about his health.
“Are you sure? You look like you’ve lost weight and you’re moving really stiffly. I
know Doctor Jameson has been worried about you since your last injury.” Sam flexed his
fingers, looking like he wanted to be anywhere else except where he was.
“I have lost weight, and I slept wrong, so my back’s a little off today.” Chaz started to push to his feet. “Thanks for asking, though I have to wonder what brought this up. You
didn’t know you were going to see me here.”
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Sam dropped his gaze to the floor and murmured, “Actually I saw you two days ago
when you walked out of the hotel. I called your name, but you must not have heard me. You looked terrible, Chaz. Are you on something? Maybe something for the pain?”
Chaz couldn’t tell if Sam was fishing or not, but he wasn’t about to tell him the entire
truth. “I was having a bad day, Sam. Yes, I do take something once in a while for the pain, but only when it gets so bad I can’t move. That doesn’t happen very often.”
After standing, he picked up his bags. He dug a smile out from somewhere near the
bottom of his toes, and flashed it to Sam. “I appreciate your concern, but I’m fine, and I’ll be ready to work when Tulsa rolls around.”
Sam didn’t look convinced, yet he seemed to have the sense not to say anything else
about it. “Good talking to you, Chaz. See you in Oklahoma.”
Chaz dipped his head slightly, then walked away. He got in his truck before calling
Peter to let him know he was coming. He tossed his phone over onto the passenger seat and, after starting the engine, he slammed his fist into the steering wheel.
“Fuck!” he shouted. “God damn fucking nosy bastard. Who the hell does he think he is?
He has no business asking me about that shit.”
His hands shook as rage coursed through his veins. Damn nosy asshole trying to find
out dirt on him. Sam had always wanted to be the go-to guy for the PBR, and he’d been
jealous of Chaz’s senior standing. Now he was looking for reasons to get Chaz in trouble
with the organisation. Chaz took a deep breath, realising how paranoid and idiotic those
thoughts were. Sure, Sam wanted what Chaz had, but he wouldn’t try to steal it. Sam
understood how things worked, and would wait until Chaz retired to take his place.
Fuck, he couldn’t show up at lunch like this. He needed to calm down, so he unzipped
one of his bag pockets to grab one of the pill bottles in there. Chaz didn’t even glance down to see which one he’d got. He dumped two into his palm, then put the lid back on before
tossing the bottle into the duffle. He swallowed them dry, grimacing at the chalky aftertaste.
He didn’t know if two would be enough to settle him, but he didn’t want to take too
many while driving, which probably explained why Peter had found him in the alley instead of somewhere two hundred miles away from where he’d started. Spacing out while driving
had happened to him twice, and he’d sworn to never do that again.
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A sense of peace drifted through Chaz, and he sighed. The anger dissipated with each
beat of his heart until his hands stop trembling, and he felt confident about driving to
Steamboat’s.
When he got there, he took another pill, just to be on the safe side and to ensure his
calmness would stick around for a while. After climbing out of his truck, he walked into the restaurant. Peter must have been watching for him, because Chaz saw him standing at their table across the room.
Chaz smiled as he approached Peter. He shook Peter’s hand before sitting down and
glancing around the room.
“You know, I eat here every time I come to Cheyenne.”
Peter smiled, though there were shadows in his eyes. “Yeah. I’m the same way. My
family used to come here for special occasions. It’s been a while since I was here.”
“We lived miles outside any city or town. We’d go to get supplies once a month, and
that’s when we’d go out to eat at a restaurant, so it was a big event for my siblings and me.”
Chaz found he wanted to say anything to make Peter happy. He wanted to see a real smile
on Peter’s face and in his eyes.
“How many siblings do you have?”
Before Chaz could answer, the waitress arrived. He waited until after they had placed
their orders to reply.
“Three. Two older brothers and one younger.” He chuckled. “I talked to the younger
one before I checked out of the hotel. He’s over in Afghanistan. I don’t ask where he is, because most of the time he can’t tell me.”
Peter nodded. “He’s military?”
“Yes. Been in the army since he graduated from high school. He’s in the Rangers now.”
Chaz took a sip of the water the waitress had just set in front of him. He needed to rinse the residue from the pills out of his mouth.
“Sounds like he does some dangerous stuff,” Peter commented.
Chaz shrugged. “Well, any of the stuff over there can be dangerous. His tend to be top
secret missions.”
“Randy’s brother’s in the military. He’s out in San Diego, stationed at one of the bases
there. He’s an instructor, plus he helps vets readjust to civilian life, or at least life here at
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home instead of in a war zone.” Peter studied Chaz, looking like he was very interested in what Chaz had to say.
“This is Matthew’s fourth tour, but I think he’s getting close to having to re-enlist or
something. I haven’t been able to talk to him about what he’s going to do.” Chaz frowned.
“I’d prefer he get out, but it’s all he’s done for thirteen years. Might be hard to be a civilian after that.”
Peter quickly touched Chaz’s hand in silent support. “It might be, but he’ll have you
and the rest of your family to support him. Plus, I can give you Rick’s number, and your
brother could talk to him about getting help. We have to take care of each other.”
“That’s true. My other brothers run the family ranch in Arizona, and I know they’d be
more than happy to have Matthew come stay with them if he needs to. He has a place in
North Carolina, though, so he might not want to leave it.” Chaz waved his hand in a vague, dismissive gesture. “No point in discussing it now. Matthew hasn’t made a decision and he’s not here anyway. We should be talking about us.”
Peter drew his brows together in a puzzled expression. “Why would we be talking
about us?”
Chaz leant forward slightly, catching and holding Peter’s gaze. “Because this is our first date, and I want to get to know you better.”
He grinned at the red creeping up Peter’s cheeks.
“I didn’t realise this was a date. I thought it was just two friends getting together for lunch.” Peter fidgeted with his silverware.
“If you had known, would you have agreed to go with me?”
Peter looked away like he wanted to think without staring at Chaz. “I don’t know. I’m
going to be completely honest here, Chaz.”
Chaz swallowed when Peter turned his bright blue eyes back on him. That didn’t sound
good, but he’d asked for it, in a way. “Okay.”
“You have a problem, Chaz. I’ve only known you a little over a day, and I can tell you
need help.” When he started to protest, Peter held up his hand. “Don’t deny it, Chaz, and I’m not going to preach to you about it. You’re an adult, and you know the danger of what
you’re doing. We’re not good enough friends, or good enough anything, for me to start
trying to help you heal.”
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Settling back in his chair, Chaz folded his arms over his chest. “I don’t have a problem, but thank you for caring. Are you saying you don’t want to see where this is going because of my perceived issues?”
Peter sighed, dropping his gaze to the table. “Not really. I just know that, no matter
what you say, you’re going to end up hurting me, and I’m not sure if I’m ready to suffer my first heartbreak.”
“First heartbreak? Are you telling me you haven’t had a relationship with anyone
before?”
Just the thought of Peter being a virgin stiffened Chaz’s cock to the point where he had
to reach down and adjust it in his jeans, looking for some more room. God, he wanted to be the one who introduced Peter to the joys of sex and how good fucking a man could feel.
Again Peter blushed, and Chaz thought it was the most beautiful sight he’d ever seen.
“Yes. I mean no. I haven’t had any kind of relationship. I’ve known about my
orientation since I was a teenager, and my family wasn’t exactly an inviting place for me to be myself.”
All Chaz could think of was to jump to his feet, grab Peter, and drag the man to his
truck. Then drive as fast as he could to the ranch where he’d get Peter naked in his room to spend the rest of the day in bed. He’d be a very good teacher.
“Okay, I get that you wouldn’t do or say anything while you were living at home, but
you’re at the ranch now. From what I’ve heard about Randy and Les, not to mention the
rumours I’ve been hearing about Tony, it couldn’t be that hard to find someone willing to instruct you.”
Peter looked uncomfortable, and Chaz figured he probably didn’t want to have this
discussion in a public place, but Chaz just couldn’t let the subject drop. He was highly
intrigued by the thought of someone being a virgin at Peter’s age.
“It might be old-fashioned, but I didn’t want to have sex for having sex’s sake. I want it to mean something when I do. Maybe that makes me too in touch with my feminine side or
whatever, but that’s how I feel. I would probably feel the same way if I was straight.” Peter shot Chaz a quick glance. “It’s important and should mean something more than just getting off. I’m perfectly capable of doing that for myself.”
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The image of Peter jacking off popped up in Chaz’s mind, and he bit back a groan.
When they finally did become lovers, Chaz was going to watch Peter pleasure himself. He’d bet it would be lava-hot.
“No, I understand what you’re saying. I don’t think you’re less of a man for feeling like that. It’s kind of refreshing to meet someone who can think that way. Too many people see sex as just a means of achieving their own pleasure. They don’t see how it can connect two people in the most fundamentally carnal way possible.”<
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Peter still had a look of concern, and Chaz wasn’t sure how to make it better. He didn’t
want Peter to refuse to give a relationship between them a chance. He wanted to say
something, but the waitress returned with their food. Chaz let silence fall as they ate, not wanting to spoil their date.
“You’re from Arizona, huh? What’s the desert like? I’ve never been there.”
Chaz let Peter change the subject. There would be plenty of time to talk about the other
things later.
“It’s gorgeous. I’m not sure I’d like to live anywhere else, once I retire from the circuit.
It can be so quiet and isolated, yet there’s life among the sand, if you know where to look.
When I go back, I saddle my horse, then ride out as far as I can go to get away from the
people and cattle. I usually pack a sleeping bag to camp out under the stars. It’s the best way to relax that I can think of. You should come out with me some time, and I’ll show you.”
He almost bit his tongue after saying that. How could he throw out a trip to his parents’
ranch when he was planning on having a two-week fling, then leaving? As much as he
wanted to fuck Peter, he wasn’t looking for a serious relationship. Not yet, anyway. He still had a few more years of bullfighting left in him, and he’d seen the toll travelling on the circuit had on a couple.
“Really? I always wanted to go to Tombstone and the Grand Canyon. Can you believe
there’s something so amazing in our country?” Peter’s eyes sparkled with excitement.
“I’ve seen a lot of awesome things while working. That’s one of the reasons I love
working for the bull riders. I get to go all over the place. It’s great.”
Peter dipped his head a little. “I haven’t really been anywhere. Just Cheyenne and
Austin. It’s not as much fun when you don’t have anyone to go sightseeing with.”
Chaz had to agree. “True. It’s nice to have someone else around who shares your
memories of places. That’s why family is so important. They’re the only people who have
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been there since you took your first breath. They know all the secrets, and will die before letting any of them get out.”