SHARD: Book One of The Shard Trilogy (A YA Sci-fi Teens with Powers Series)

by A. M. Pierre

  He wouldn’t want to see her. No way. Not after what she did.

  Kaia caught a glimpse of the classical CD’s lying on her dresser. Ezio. She hadn’t given him much thought lately. Odd. He was always kind to her. Maybe he would listen. It wasn’t the same, but more than anything she wanted someone to say the words . . . it’s okay. It’s not so bad. I forgive you.

  Her feet were moving again, this time toward Ezio’s door. It was only cracked a hair—not enough to see, but definitely enough to hear, especially with Kaia’s sensitive ears. “I lost another one.” It was Ezio’s voice, but it wasn’t, somehow. It was shattered and beaten. Muffled, too.

  Kaia couldn’t help herself. She pushed the door a little, seeing if it would squeak, and then, when it didn’t, pushed it enough so she could see inside. Ezio’s face was buried in Alizée’s shoulder. Her hands rubbed slow circles on his back. “It’s not your fault, Ezzie. It’s not,” she said, and an electric shock shot down Kaia’s back. Something in Alizée’s voice jumped out at her, something Kaia recognized, even though it had been so long since she’d heard it directed at herself.

  It was love.

  “I’m here for you, Ezzie. Always. I wish there was something, anything, I could do to make it better . . . I’m so sorry.” One of her hands lightly stroked the side of his face. Ezio lifted his head from Alizée’s shoulder, raising it to her face, and she met him halfway in a kiss.

  Kaia didn’t know what she felt. It hurt but it didn’t. She was crushed but she didn’t care. Something was injured—her pride? Her heart? She honestly couldn’t tell. She should’ve seen it sooner. There were plenty of hints. Stupid. SO stupid. A dumb stupid girl who can’t save her friends but is perfectly capable of betraying them and hitting on their boyfriends.

  I need to see Connor. Let him scream or yell or throw things, I don’t care. I just need to see him.

  She knocked on his door several times before she heard a quiet “come in.” Connor was sitting at his desk in front of a laptop computer, but the screensaver was running so she couldn’t see what he had been working on. His expression was cold, clinical. “Can I help you?”

  Kaia walked in and sat down on a chair nearby. He scooted back a little. “Sorry,” he said off her questioning look, “I don’t feel like being drugged at the moment.”

  She frowned. “It’s not that we don’t care, you know.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “Before, at breakfast. You were acting like you’re the only one who misses Dice.”

  Connor crossed his arms. “Why not? It’s true.”

  “I know you don’t really believe that. Gabriela won’t come out of her room, Ezio’s a wreck and is blaming himself, and me . . . I didn’t know him for very long, but Dice was my friend. I know how much it’s hurting me. I can’t imagine how much it’s hurting you.”

  Connor stared at the ceiling. “He was your friend, huh?” He turned on her in a heartbeat, tears in his eyes and his voice scraped raw. “Then why did you leave him? Everyone leaves us. The only people we have ever been able to count on are right here in this house. It’s a ‘trust,’ a promise, and you broke it.”

  “But—But there wasn’t anything I could do for him. I was worried about you. About getting you out alive.” She looked away. “I couldn’t lose both of you.”

  Connor seemed to soften, just a little, but not enough. “You never leave anyone behind. I promised him. He promised me. He’s the only person in my life who had never broken his word to me. And now I’ve broken mine.” His eyes filled to the brim with tears, but a couple of shuddering breaths kept them in their place. “And I’ll never have the chance to fix it. Never.”

  Kaia shook her head vehemently. “No. It wasn’t you. It was me. I took that choice away from you. It’s all my fault. All of it.”

  She wasn’t sure if he had really heard her or not. He slid down listlessly in his chair. “Do you know what our last conversation—our last real conversation—was about? It was a fight. Dice accused me of putting up barriers and pushing people away. So you know what I did?” He laughed bitterly. “I got angry and pushed him away. The best friend I ever had . . . Some friend I am.” His face showed a definite discussion going on in his head. He seemed to reach a decision. “Do you know how I ended up here, at Mark’s Place?”

  Kaia shook her head.

  “Do you want to?”

  She did, she absolutely did, but she didn’t want to scare him away. She nodded cautiously.

  “I was born in Wales, like I told you before. My parents were pretty cool. Not amazing or anything, but good as far as parents go. Bought me nice things, took me fun places, made me think they loved me. When I was seven, they sent me to a boarding school near Manchester. I didn’t have too many friends, but it wasn’t all bad. Only problem was, I never got to go home on holiday. There was always some excuse given, some special alternate arrangement made. I wrote them letters asking what they were doing, how they were, when I would get to see them again. They wrote back—always pleasant, but always with some new reason why it would be just a little bit longer before I could come home. I finally figured it out one day when I went to drop my latest letter off with the mail clerk.

  “She was writing something as I walked up, and I recognized the handwriting. I should have—it was the same as every letter my ‘parents’ had ever written me.” He smiled cynically. “Every single one of my letters—every single one—had been returned unopened, right from day one. No one by that name at that address, apparently. The poor clerk had never had the heart to tell me. She’d written their replies so I could have something to hold on to. I never even knew her name.” Connor stretched in his chair. “That was that, really. They had dumped me at that school, paid for everything, and run away as fast as their treacherous, scheming, lying little legs could take them. I decided to run away, too. I snuck a peek at my school records before I left—turns out it had me listed as ‘adopted’—so I gave myself a new name and went looking for my other parents. I never found any clues, but I made it all the way to London before The Company found me.

  “The point of all this, Kaia, is Dice was the first person I ever met who didn’t lie to me, try to use me, or actively hurt me. He earned my trust and gave me his friendship, even though I didn’t deserve it, and now I’ve left him to rot in some flea-bitten hospital. Oh, and I also lost the evidence I needed to bring his killers down. All the things I want to do for him—all the things he deserves,” his shoulders sagged in defeat, “and I can’t do any of them.”

  Kaia wasn’t sure how he would react, but there was only one thing she could think to do. She took the two steps to close the gap between them, stooped over . . . and wrapped her arms around him.

  He leaned back at first as if to pull away entirely, but then the tenseness in his muscles faded and in a single fluid movement he was standing, holding, hugging her back, and resting his cheek on her shoulder. “I’m a terrible person, Kaia, I am. I never deserved any of them—any of the people who have been good to me. Do you know why Gabby and Dice were my closest friends here?” He held on even tighter, as if he were afraid she would coil back as he spoke. “It’s because I knew they were the least likely to get hurt. Gabby never goes on missions, and Dice always stays . . . stayed in the van. I befriended them because I was less likely to get hurt.” He raised his head up, and his eyes were as open and honest as she’d ever seen them. “I really hate myself sometimes.”

  She could break him with a word, and she knew it. “You’re wrong. You’re not a terrible person. It’s normal to be afraid of getting hurt. You were Dice’s friend. Even if you think your reason for becoming his friend was wrong, it doesn’t mean your friendship was wrong, does it?”

  He looked uncertain. “I guess not.”

  Kaia felt like she was on a roll for once. “You’ve stayed away from people? So have I. I bet most everyone else he
re has, too. Well, maybe not Gabriela, but Mikaël . . . or Alizée . . . especially Ezio.”

  Connor almost smiled. “Yeah, Z’s never been all that great at opening up to others.” His eyes narrowed, and Kaia got the distinct impression she should have quit while she was ahead. “Ezio . . . you said earlier Ezio was blaming himself.”

  “Y-Yes.”

  Connor’s head turned slightly away from her, so he was looking at her from the corners of his eyes. “He wouldn’t have told you that. We’ve had deaths here before—it’s been a while, but it’s happened. Every time, Ezio kept his feelings to himself. He would only ever discuss something like that with one person, and that’s . . .” Connor’s eyes hardened. “You saw them, didn’t you?”

  Kaia did her best not to flinch. “What are you talking about?”

  “Z and the Alley Cat. You saw them together. Finally.”

  Kaia blinked. “You mean you already knew about them?”

  “Yes, I knew. They’re not supposed to be dating—relationships with squad members are against Company policy, after all—but they usually hide it pretty well. I guess Ezio’s not in the mood for subterfuge at the moment.” Connor smiled caustically. “Told you he didn’t go for the sweet ones.” He took a step back from her. “That’s why you’re here, isn’t it?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “You tried Ezio first but found out he was already taken, so you thought I’d do in a pinch. I mean, if you’ve got no other choice, you have to take what you can get, right?”

  She shook her head violently. “That’s not it. I didn’t know—”

  “Know what? That I have feelings? Or is it now you think deep down I’m kind of emo—which makes me just your type?” He was getting that closed off look again, but she could still see the hurt there.

  “I promise,” Kaia said, “all that has nothing to do with why I came here. I mean, I did see Ezio first and decide to come here second, but it was because I wanted to talk to you, not because I thought you were a replacement or something—”

  Connor turned away from her completely. “I’m sorry, but I’d like you to go now.”

  Kaia opened her mouth to say one last thing but closed it again without saying a word and walked out the door.

  * * *

  Should have known I was nothing but a second-rate replacement for Mr. Brilliant. It was all an act, like the trick she played on me back at the safe house . . . right, the safe house.

  Connor had been alone in the safe house bedroom for several minutes before Kaia had slithered in and doped him. It was certainly enough time for him to read through all of Dice’s texts. It was also enough time for him to copy those texts onto a piece of paper and hide it in one of the secret compartments Dice had built into his shoes, the compartments no one else knew about, not even the red-lipped she-beast herself.

  After a quick glance at the door to ensure Kaia had truly left, Connor pulled the paper out and flattened it on his desk.

  1.dont b upset. i said dont b UPSET. bad stuff AWAITS us ALL! u r a survivor. so survive.

  2.i spy with my little EYE—an OX! and its a RUNT!

  3.MYTHS: PI is a mathmatical symbol that has led to Acts of VIOLENCE

  4.this nurse, no, DOCTOR, is so LOUSY. its so late—its already NOON :-)

  5.i read a BATMAN comic. was cool, but he CHOPS this guy, like karate chop, in the EYE!

  6.do u kno whats a FELONY in france? to steal a CRANE. seriously

  7.do u think money grows on trees? YEAH, RETHINK IT!

  8.MILK: u can get it out of a TIN. GOOGLE it!

  9.i know a MAID who plays basketball. she shoots, she SCORES!

  10.i love music clubs—i’m a MEMBER! do RE ME! (not my best i’ll admit-i’m a bit hurried)

  11.PLEASE

  12.u know u rly shud eat greens, I mean VEG. YOU are LOUSY when it comes to eating right

  Connor had transcribed them all, true, but this was his first chance to actually sit and read them properly. Most of it seemed so random, but 10 and 11 really stood out. That bit at the end of 10—“not my best.” Not my best what? And then 11 was just one word. Wait . . . “I’m such an idiot.” He rewrote RE ME next to the entry and wrote MEMBER next to that. And with message 11 right after it . . .

  Remember me please.

  “That’s it. It has to be.” Connor laughed. “Dice, you anagram-loving freak.” He looked back at the ten other messages. “Jeez, mate, couldn’t you have picked a type of puzzle I’m actually good at?” He opened up an Internet browser on his computer. “Good thing I remember the name of that site you loved so much.” He cracked his knuckles and started typing. This was probably going to take a while.

  * * *

  Kaia still didn’t want to go to her bedroom, which meant the rec room was pretty much the only place left. Vladimir and Mikaël were playing a video game. Vladimir looked uncomfortable as she stepped in. “I am sorry, Kaia, please do not be thinking we are disrespectful for playing a game right now. It is . . . how do you say . . . for a memory of him. Was Dice’s favorite. We were often playing it together with him.” Mikaël nodded in silent agreement.

  Kaia tried to smile. “Don’t worry about it. Everyone handles things their own way.”

  Vladimir visibly relaxed. “Thank you, Kaia.” He paused the game and pulled something out of his pocket. He made a motion for her to hold out her hand and then dropped the tiny object into it. It was an origami crane, made out of a soft shimmering paper of red and gold. “Dice was teaching me. Is ancient Japanese skill but very difficult with my fingers.” He held up his huge hands. “I was making this little one to show him I was practicing. I would like for you to be having it instead.”

  She didn’t want to cry again. She really didn’t. Her eyes, however, disagreed. “Vladimir, it’s beautiful. I—”

  There was a popping sound in her ear as her com activated. “Ms. Davis?”

  What could that woman possibly want with me right now? “Yes, ma’am?”

  “Please come to the conference room. I have a very important assignment for you.”

  * * *

  “Lyons . . . France. That’s it. It has to be.” Connor stared at the letters on the glowing computer screen. He’d done it. He glanced at the clock. Okay, so it wasn’t like he’d set any records—frankly, it had taken him the entire day—but he’d actually done it. Trial and (many) errors had finally won out. However, whatever small feeling of triumph he might’ve had could never have survived the sinking feeling that had been steadily growing with each part of the message that he deciphered.

  It was all a setup. You’re next. The Company is evil. Told you so Connor :-). The Company base / Lyons France. I think they are / going to kill me. I’m so scared. Remember me / please. Love you guys.

  Connor tried not to think about Dice writing those texts. He tried not to picture his best friend, suffering from shock and in so much pain, knowing he was probably going to die, but using what little energy he had left to send out a message in a desperate attempt to save his friends. He tried not to think of Dice’s last moments, wondering if anyone would figure out the message he’d worked so hard to send.

  Dying alone.

  I should have been there for him. I should have . . . The guilt gnawed at his insides. No. Don’t do that. Not right now. The Company put Dice in that position. The Company did that to him. Rage rose up through his body like a wildfire. He struggled to push it back down. No! Not that either. Ms. Smith is an evil lying scumbag, but she was right about one thing—getting too emotional clouds your judgment.

  Right. Have to be calm. Have to think this through. Dice’s message should convince the others, but what then? Need to have a plan. Can’t make a move until we have a way to escape, to go somewhere The Company can’t find us.

  And then we crush them.

 
The deciphered message kept playing in his mind. “Remember me please. Love you guys. It was all a setup. You’re next.” Connor paused. Wait. “You’re”? That didn’t necessarily mean just . . . He stood in a flash, knocking over a glass of water on his desk. “All three of us were supposed to be in that building. Kaia!” He had to find her. Now.

  Connor searched the building, trying to walk calmly so as not raise suspicion, but getting increasingly frantic with each empty room. Her bedroom? No. Dining room? No. Rec room? NO. For the love of . . . In the gym? No, but there’s— “Hey, Vlad, have you seen Kaia around by any chance?”

  Vladimir frowned. “You do not know?”

  Ice water flowed through Connor’s veins. “Know what?”

  “Ms. Smith was calling her into the conference room this morning.”

  Connor already knew what Vladimir was going to say, but it didn’t make it any easier to hear.

  “She sent Kaia out on a mission.”

  “Seriously? I can’t imagine him wearing a Speedo.”

  “I swear! It was the most ridiculous thing you’ve ever seen!”

  Kaia stared into the distance as the two men sitting on either side of her cracked up. They’d sat on either side of her on the way to the airport, on the plane, and now in the car, and she still didn’t know their names. Not that she wanted to. She didn’t. They were both big guys, with thick necks and broad shoulders, but they also looked similar somehow, like they might be related. The biggest difference was one had blonde streaks in his jet-black hair and the other had two gold teeth. That was how she had been thinking of them: Streaks and Teeth.

  Teeth nudged her with his elbow. “You’ve been awfully quiet. You okay?”

  Streaks laughed. “What do you care if she’s okay? She’ll do her job and that’s all that matters. Won’t you, girl?”

  Kaia’s eye twitched. “Don’t call me that.”