Friends to Lovers: A Secret Pregnancy Romance (Heart of Hope Book 6)

by Ajme Williams

  “Really?” My mom’s brows furrowed. “She’s so pretty and fit.”

  She was. But she didn’t have the sweet, caring green eyes that Petal had. Or her curves. God dammit why was Petal always lingering in my subconscious?

  “She’s smart and kind too mom, but she just doesn’t do it for me anymore. I’ve moved on.”

  “Does she know that? I sort of got the idea that she’d be interested in rekindling things with you.”

  “She knows. I’ve told her.” Clearly, Lora didn’t tell my mom I was seeing anyone else as I’d suggested to her. Was I seeing someone else? Was a friend with benefits considered seeing someone? If Petal was going on dates with other men, did that make it okay for me to date too? Except I didn’t want to date. I didn’t want Lora. I just wanted Petal. Jesus, I was fucked.

  “I know you think I’m meddling, Cyrus, but I worry about what will happen if I don’t survive. I don’t want to leave you alone.”

  I took her hand. “When you’re feeling better, I’ll bring you to Bismarck and you can meet Jude and his family. You’ll see I have people around me. In fact, I was thinking maybe you could move there. I can get you a nice place—”

  “Leave Chicago?” Her eyes turned sad. “My home? This home? I raised you here, Cy.”

  “I know mom.” Deciding now wasn’t the time to bring up moving, I changed the subject. “Can I get you more oatmeal? Maybe some tea?”

  She studied me for a moment. “No.”

  I checked my watch. My flight was leaving later that afternoon to return to Bismarck.

  “I wish you could stay longer,” she said.

  “I do too mom. But I’ll be back the week of Thanksgiving. I’ve ordered food so all we have to do is gorge ourselves. And Lora says you’ll be off the treatment cycle then.”

  “I want to bake a pie,” she said, with fierceness in her eyes. To her, baking a pie was a big fuck you to cancer.

  “I’ll help.”

  She smiled. “I love you, Cy. You’re my biggest pride and joy.”

  Even as a grown ass man, it always stroked the inner child’s ego to hear her talk like that. I wanted to be a good son. I knew I wasn’t always the best. After all, I was living in North Dakota when I should be here. I was sleeping with my best friend and plotting to murder any other man that touched her. Clearly, I wasn’t as good of a man I could be.

  I flew back to Bismarck and considered seeing Petal, but I was still not sure how to feel about her still wanting to date other men. So I went home, worked out, and went to bed.

  On Monday, I was in the office first thing. Midmorning, Jude popped his head in.

  “How was your mom?”

  “Cancer treatment is brutal, but she’s fighting,” I said, sitting back in my chair to stretch.

  “I know you’re planning to go home for Thanksgiving, but I wanted to let you know again that if you’re here, you can come by. We have lots of room. Petal will be there. So will Conner”

  Conner too? Would he hit on Petal? Would she respond?

  I pushed that out of my mind. “Thanks. I’m taking the week off. I ordered dinner although my mom wants to make a pie.”

  “Good for her.” He stepped inside. “Listen, about Petal.”

  Oh fuck.

  “She’s apparently set up an online dating profile. I don’t blame her for wanting to get out into the world. She’s at that bakery twenty-four-seven, but you never know about meeting people online.”

  It took a herculean effort to keep my face impassive.

  “Do you think I’d be crossing the line if I dug into the men she was talking to?” Jude asked.

  Yes. Why hadn’t I thought of that myself. “What does April say?”

  “She’s like me. We both think it will violate her privacy and yet, we want to keep her safe.”

  I cleared my throat. “I could do it.”

  Jude stared at me for a moment.

  Worried I’d given myself away, I said, “It would keep you out of it. Plausible deniability.”

  “Except how would you know to do it unless April told me and I told you?”

  How did I reveal to him that I knew about the dating without him getting mad that I hadn’t said anything? “She’d mentioned something to me about dating.”

  “You knew?”

  “Ah…not about this online thing.” Fuck, I was lying to my best friend.

  He shook his head. “I hate to throw you under the bus, my friend.”

  Whew. “Better me than you, right? I mean you’ve known Petal all your life.”

  “At least since high school,” he said. “She and April are like sisters. I’d like to keep it that way.”

  “I’ll be happy to.”

  Petal would probably be pissed, but if it kept her safe, then it was a risk I was willing to take.

  After Jude left, I tried to work, but the more I thought about Petal and other men, the more incensed I got. It went beyond they’re touching her, which was fucking maddening to think about. But also, I imagined her talking to them on the phone. Her sweet voice making them feel happy and calm. Her smiling at them with that radiant smile that lit the recipient up from the inside out.

  Finally, I couldn’t take it. I tossed my pen down, grabbed my coat and headed out.

  “Little early for cupcakes and coffee, isn’t it?” Dina said as I strode past her desk.

  “Nope.”

  She arched a brow. “Can I give you money to buy me something?”

  “What do you want? I’ll buy it.” I knew I sounded surly, so I tried to smile.

  “Pumpkin cheesecake.”

  “Be back soon.” I headed out the door and straight to Petal’s. I hoped to hell her store wasn’t busy, but when I arrived, there was a man standing at the counter, licking icing off his finger. I knew that look in his eyes. The one that said he wished she was sucking it off his dick. Or he wished he was sucking it off her tits.

  Petal’s cheeks flushed at whatever he said, and I fucking saw red. Her head lifted as the door chime rang and I stepped in. Her eyes went round as she saw me enter. I wasn’t sure if she was feeling guilty that I was catching her with another man, or worried about the murder in my eyes.

  “So, Petal, about Saturday—”

  “She’s busy, Saturday,” I said.

  Her eyes narrowed and I knew I was crossing the line but didn’t care.

  “Oh.” The man looked at me and then Petal. He seemed to wait for an introduction. When he didn’t get one, he extended his hand to me. “I’m Paul.”

  “I’m Cyrus.” Did I squeeze his hand so hard he winced? Yes, yes I did.

  Paul shook out his hand giving me a look before turning to Petal. “So not Saturday. How about Sunday?”

  Petal’s disapproving stare stayed on me. “I’ll have to get back to you, Paul.”

  “Yeah, sure.” He gave me another look. “I’ll talk to you later then. Maybe we can message tonight.”

  This guy had a death wish or was truly clueless.

  “Goodbye Paul.” I crowded him out of the shop, locked the door and turned the sign to closed.

  “Cyrus, what are you doing? I can’t close.”

  I spun around on her. “That’s your social life?” I bit out.

  “I don’t know. I just met him.” Her gaze followed me as I paced to get my own feelings under control. I didn’t get the sense that she was afraid of me. More like she was baffled. That made two of us.

  Finally, I stopped. “Are you fucking other men while you’re fucking me?” I decided that was the source of my anger.

  She jerked back like I’d slapped her. “What. No.” Her cheeks turned red again, but I was astute enough to know it was from anger, not embarrassment or a blush. “If you think I’m that type of woman, you can just leave my shop now, Cyrus.”

  Okay, so I misplayed that one. And yet… “Then why are you auditioning new men?”

  She blew out a breath. “It’s not like that. You said yourself, we’re just friend
s. And someday you’ll move on or move back home or whatever.” She turned and went back into the kitchen. I followed her there.

  “So, you want a backup?”

  Her back was to me as she stood at her cupcake table. “Everyone moves on, Cyrus. Except me. I love this bakery, but I can’t have it be the center of my social life. I can’t wait for people to come see me.”

  “Is that what you think?”

  “It’s how it is. For years, I see my friends, like April and Maya, here most of the time. I see you only here. And I’m never not here, so how can I ever expect to have a life and family? I can’t wait for my Mr. Right to walk in and order a cupcake.”

  I knew the right answer then would be to end the benefits portion of our friendship. She accepted it, but deep down, she wanted a commitment from a man and I couldn’t give that to her. It was unfair to ask her to take care of my emotional and physical needs while putting her own on hold.

  Unfortunately, I wasn’t a good enough man. Or maybe I lacked the strength. I still couldn’t commit to her, but I fucking couldn’t walk away right now either.

  She’d been vulnerable to me and so it was my turn. I could at least give her that.

  “Do you know what it did to me to see Paul lusting after you?”

  She turned to me; her expression still irritated at me. “What?”

  “I wanted to rip his limbs off.”

  She arched a brow. Clearly, she wasn’t impressed.

  I blew out a breath. “You should tell me to leave,” I said.

  This time she rolled her eyes. “No. You leave if you want to, but I’m not playing your game Cy.”

  “This is no game, Petal. I’m not Mr. Right. I can’t give you a family. But I can’t stop myself from wanting to be with you.”

  “So, I’m supposed to stop you for my own sake?” Her voice had an edge of snark to it. “You sound like a bad romance novel, Cy. Go if you want to go. Stay if you want to stay. I’ll do what I want either way.”

  “God dammit, Petal.” I raked my hands through my hair seeking strength and restraint. God how I wanted to touch her. Finally, I let out a long calming breath. “I don’t want to share. I know our agreement is friends with benefits, no strings attached, but I don’t want to share.”

  “You’re not sharing. Have I talked to a few interesting men? Yes. Am I sleeping with anyone but you…well, not sleeping, fucking? No. Do I plan to form my own harem of men? No. I’m not built like that, Cy and if you think I am, then you can go.” She stopped. “I guess I am asking you to leave.” She laughed derisively. “For once you got what you wanted.”

  I started to leave. I made it all the way out to the main area of the shop, next to the side door that led to the staircase upstairs to her apartment.

  I turned to see what she was doing. As it turned out, I hoped to hell she was going to stop me. Jesus I was a mess.

  She was leaning against a door jamb with the swinging door behind her. “I don’t know why you’re jealous.”

  My instinct was to deny it, but that would have been childish. Of course, I was jealous. The anger at another man hitting on her. Telling her I didn’t want to share. They were classic signs of jealousy. It was a sign that I should simply end the benefits portion of our relationship. Yeah, like that would happen.

  “If you’re ready to move on and be with someone else, I’ll accept that,” I said.

  Her confident demeanor fell slightly and she looked down. “If that’s what you want—”

  “That’s not what I said, Petal. Look, I know we didn’t make any promises, but I prefer to be exclusive while we’re together. I’m not trying to be an asshole here. I just don’t want to be part of a group.”

  Her anger flared up again. “You think I’d do that?”

  I shook my head. “You’d have every right to look at your options. You want something I can’t give, so of course you’ll be open to other men.”

  “I’m not seeing other men, Cyrus. Have I talked to some? Sure. But I’m not test driving.” She moved toward me, probably to unlock the front door and kick me out. “I don’t know what you want, Cy. You tell me to make you leave. You tell me you can’t stop thinking of me.”

  “I can’t.”

  “Sometimes you call me while you’re gone and sometimes you ignore me when you’re home. I can’t seem to win here.”

  I was an asshole. I really needed to let her go because I was only hurting her. But looking into her green eyes, I couldn’t formulate the words.

  She looked up at me. “You want to ask me to tell you to leave again. You want me to be the one to end this.”

  I nodded.

  “Well I’m not, Cy. If you want out, you have to tell me.”

  Unable to stop myself, I caressed her cheek. “I keep hurting you, Petal. I don’t want that.”

  “I haven’t asked you for anything, Cy. I know where things stand.”

  Longing welled in my chest. Not just a sexual need, but something more that was both sweet and terrifying. I leaned down and gently pressed my lips to hers. In rush, what started as soft, morphed into a desperate need.

  I moaned and banded her to me as all the frustration and pent up desire clashed and forced its way out. She returned the kiss with equal fervor. I lifted her, and walked her through the side door and up the stairs to her apartment.

  Our lips were fused, as I set her down and she pulled her keys from her pocket and opened the door. My hands were on her everywhere as I undressed her and moved her to her bed.

  Finally, we were naked and I was over her body, pressing her soft curves into the mattress. A moment of calm washed through me as I looked down one her. Her green eyes stared up at me with trust and surrender. It made my heart roll in my chest. She really was bewitching me.

  At the same time, there was a sense that this was going to come to an end soon. It had to really. I couldn’t string her along like this. Not when she was wanting more from life. So, I’d savor this moment.

  I ran my fingers through her soft red strands and kissed her, firm yet slow. I trailed my lips over her jaw and down her neck.

  “Cy.” Her fingers gently caressed my back as she gave into my seduction.

  I maneuvered down her body to worship her tits. I held the soft globes in my hands, kneading them, watching as her nipples hardened. I sucked one into my mouth, laving it with my tongue as I gently pinched the other. Her hips bucked up, seeking my dick, but I stayed there, loving her tits until she was moaning and writhing under the weight of my body.

  I moved up and kissed her again, taking her hands in mine and levering them over her head. “Petal.”

  Her eyelids fluttered open. With her lovely green eyes watching me, I pressed inside her. Our groans filled the room. I pushed and pushed, until finally, I was fully inside her. Fully home.

  22

  Petal

  Cyrus had always been an enigma to me. Today he was epitome of that. He’d stormed into the shop already angry about something. Seeing Paul had made it worse. Realizing he was jealous had made me feel good. It suggested an attachment on his part. And yet, it was clear he didn’t want that. He wanted me to make him leave. Maybe I should have. He admitted he was jealous but still didn’t want to be more than friends with benefits. If I wasn’t sure before that this was going to end with me being hurt, I knew it now. But instead of heeding his and my own advice to return back to just friends, I was in bed with him, his body seeped inside of mine. Just like he couldn’t seem to bring himself to leave, I couldn’t make him go.

  At first, there was a wild and crazy desperation as we undressed and made our way to the bed. But then, in an instant, everything slowed. The intensity was still there, just not the crazed fervor as he kissed me slow. He sucked and caressed by breasts until I was nearly coming just from that. And now he was inside me, holding himself as he looked down on me with those dark eyes. There was something going inside his head. For a moment, I wished it was the realization that we could have something real
because it was clear as day that I loved this man.

  His fingers gripped mine as he withdrew and slid in, slowly, his gaze watching mine as he did. The words, “I love you,” sat on the tip of my tongue.

  “I want to feel you come, Petal,” he whispered as his lips trailed along my jaw. “I want to feel the power of it rolling through you.”

  I could give him that. I closed my eyes and let myself be taken away by sensations. The friction of his dick sliding and out, slowly, frustratingly slowly. His lips on my neck, my jaw, just below my ear. His chest abrasive against my sensitive nipples. All of this building, tightening, coiling, until I was hanging at the pinnacle.

  “Come,” he said, sliding in and grinding against me as he dipped his head and sucked my nipple.

  My body arched as pleasure bloomed and radiated to every cell. It was slow and sweet, and nearly brought tears to my eyes because it didn’t mean what I’d wanted it too.

  “You’re so fucking beautiful when you come.” He rolled us until I was on top. His hands slid along my thighs and up to my breasts. “You’re a powerful sexy goddess, you know that?”

  “Not a witch?” I rocked over him, loving how he hissed in response.

  “You’ve put a spell on me, Petal.” He levered up, his hands splaying on my back as he kissed me, harder this time. I could taste his growing need. His lips traveled down, sucking my nipples. I held on to his shoulders and began to move.

  He groaned and lay back, his fingers gripping my hips. “Take me over.”

  I let myself go, giving in to the need growing in my body once again. I rode him, finding a steady rhythm. Inside me, he grew harder, the friction hotter.

  “Yes, Petal…fuck I’m there…” His thumb brushed over my clit and it set me off once again. Sweet pleasure burst. I cried out, rocking and riding over him as I drew out the sensations, until finally I collapsed over him.

  His arms wrapped around me and he kissed my temple. “How many cupcakes do I have to buy to make for the time your shop is closed,” he asked.