“How is August? I haven’t seen him since Halloween.”
She laughed. “He asked a woman out on a date.”
“No kidding.”
I was glad April was able to let the topic of Cyrus go. I was mentally exhausted when it came to figuring out what to do about Cy.
A few days later, I was in the bakery and Libby and I were getting ready to close. I’d been feeling a bit off for the last few hours, but I chalked it up to physical and mental fatigue. As I locked the door, my belly cramped so hard I had to lean forward, putting my hand on the door for support. My breath whooshed from my lungs and piercing pain slashed through my gut.
“Petal?” Libby’s concerned voice called to me.
I tried to straighten, but couldn’t. I pressed my hand to my belly as terror filled me.
“Petal, what’s wrong?” Libby rushed to me.
“I think I need to go to the hospital.”
“Okay. Should I call 9-1-1?”
I looked at her. “Can you drive me?” I didn’t want to wait around if I could head to the hospital now. There was one not far from where we were.
“Yeah sure. Let me get my car and I’ll pick you up.”
Fifteen agonizing minutes later, she was walking me into the hospital. The cramping didn’t seem so bad now, but I was still terrified.
“Can I call someone?” Libby asked as we headed to the desk.
I thought about Cryus, but he was hours away. I considered my parents, but they were in Florida and I hadn’t even told them about the baby yet.
“Can you call April?” I told Libby her number and I figured April would be able to call Cyrus if necessary.
It felt like it was forever before a doctor saw me. My fear was heightened when I was asked to pee in a cup and discovered some blood. The doctor ordered a blood sample and a sonogram, both of which also took forever.
All the while, the nurses and doctors were noncommittal about what the problem could be. They said it could be nothing or a miscarriage or ectopic pregnancy. The last two sent a wave of dread through me. None of them showed signs of concern. Then again, they were probably trained not to look worried. The uncertainty was agonizing.
Finally, I was laying back with gel squirted on my belly and a kind looking woman pressed a wand to my belly.
“Take a deep breath, mom,” the woman said.
God, had I breathed since this started? I did as she said, inhaling and exhaling.
“Good job.” She ran the wand over my belly, but the screen wasn’t facing where I could look. Then again, I’m not sure I know what I was looking at.
She pressed the wand to one side and then another, and then across the middle. Finally, she turned the screen. “See this?”
It all looked like gray and black blobs, but where she pointed there was a small pulsing.
“Yes.”
“That’s your baby’s heartbeat.”
“Oh my God. It’s okay?” I burst out crying.
“It’s where it should be and the heart is beating.”
She didn’t say it was okay though.
She started pressing buttons on her keyboard. “Let me check this…six weeks?”
I nodded. “Yes. Halloween.”
She laughed. “Trick or treat, huh?”
I blushed even though I was still crying. She handed me a tissue.
“Do you want a picture?” she asked.
“Yes. Please.”
“I’ll be sure to get you one.”
After the sonogram I was back with the doctor, who assured me that all was well. “Sometimes cramping and bleeding happens. It’s good to check with your doctor if it is severe as you suggested, but in this case, it’s fine. Here.” He handed me the picture of the sonogram.
“Thank you. Thank you so much.”
He smiled. “Just make sure you’re taking care of yourself. Get lots of sleep and eat well. Try to minimize your stress.”
“I will. I promise.”
When I left the emergency area, April rushed up to me from the waiting room. “Are you okay? Is the baby okay?”
I nodded. “Yes.” I held up the picture.
“Oh Petal. It’s beautiful.”
I looked at it. “How can you tell?”
She smiled through her own tears. “Because it’s yours.”
She’d sent Libby home with the promise that I’d give her an update. I texted her as April drove me home and put me to bed.
“Should I call Cy? I didn’t because I wasn’t sure what was going on,” she said as she sat on the edge of my bed.
“I’ll call him.”
She arched a brow. “Are you sure? Jude’s going to want to know what’s up and I don’t want him telling Cyrus something he needs to hear from you.”
“I’ll tell him. When you leave, I’ll call him.”
“Okay. Can I get you something?”
I shook my head. “I’m going to rest and then make an egg and spinach omelet.” I was sure that was healthy for the baby.
“I can stay.”
“No. You go home to your family. I’ll be fine. Really.” I smiled hoping it would assure her. I needed a moment to myself to readjust from total fear to elation before calling Cy.
“Okay. Call me tomorrow. If not, I’ll hunt you down.” She wagged a motherly finger at me.
“Really, April. I’m fine.”
She patted my arm. “You’re a tough cookie, Petal. But even cookies crumble under pressure. Don’t be afraid to call me. Anytime. Promise?”
“Promise.”
I let out a breath when she left and pulled out the sonogram. “Hello baby.” I touched the area I remember the sonogram technician identified as the heart. “Are you ready to meet your daddy?”
I snapped a picture of the sonogram and texted it to Cy. Then I entered his number to give him a call, hoping he was happy to see the picture of his child.
31
Cyrus
I was reading about St. John Rivers’ lackluster proposal to Jane Eyre to my mother. I couldn’t blame her for turning him down, although I wondered why she was agreeing to go to India. My phone pinged as I turned the page. I looked over at my mother, who as it turned out, was sleeping.
I pulled out my phone and noticed a text from Petal. Seeing her name filled me with dueling emotions of anger and pain. But also, sadness and longing. For a minute, I thought I’d ignore it for now and look at it later, but then I considered the baby.
I clicked her message and at first, I didn’t understand what I was looking at. And then when I did, my heart stopped.
The phone rang, indicating Petal was calling. I looked at my mom who stirred.
“It’s Petal, mom. I’ll be right back.” I left the room poking the answer button. “Petal. What is this?”
“It’s a picture of the baby. I heard the heartbeat too.”
Anger flooded me. “I told you I wanted to be there for doctors’ visits. You said there wasn’t one until January. Jesus…” I was about to call her liar but I held back. I couldn’t let my anger get away from me.
“This wasn’t a regular appointment. I was having cramps and so I went to the hospital—”
“Hospital! And you didn’t call me? Or have April or Jude call me? What the fuck, Petal?” I sank down on the edge of my bed, wondering how the woman I was sure was the source of the sun rising in the morning could turn out to be so heartless.
“Cy…” She sounded exhausted. “I was scared and being examined. I was too terrified for my baby to think about your feelings.”
Was I being an asshole? I was the father. Didn’t I have a right to know?
“I had Libby call April, who would have called you but it turned out to be nothing. And now I’m calling you,” she finished.
“When did this happen?”
“Earlier tonight. I hoped you’d be happy. The dot in the middle is the heart.”
I pulled my phone down and looked at the picture again. I’d have to print it out to
get a better view. But my heart still swelled at the idea that my child was in this photo.
I brought the phone back to my ear. “Is everything alright?”
“Yes.”
There was a pause. “Are you alright?” As it turned out, I was an asshole to not ask about her and the baby sooner.
“Yes.”
She didn’t elaborate, but I couldn’t blame her. The quiet over the phone continued. In the past, we could sit in silence and it was nice. But now, I felt like I needed to say something.
“I told my mom about the baby,” I said.
“Is she happy?”
“Yes. She…she wants to meet you.”
Petal didn’t answer for a moment. “I have an assistant now. I’m not sure she’s ready to manage the shop, but…if you wanted…I could come if there was a quick turnaround.”
I ran my hand over my face. I wasn’t sure I could see Petal again right now. Not when my emotions were so raw. But I also wanted to make my mom happy.
“I can pay for the ticket. Is it safe for you to fly?”
“I’ll check with the doctor to be sure, but he didn’t say anything about what I can’t do. A Saturday night to Sunday would be best since I’m closed on Sunday. It should be soon because Christmas is coming.”
“I’ll take care of it and send you the ticket.”
“I’m not broke, Cy.”
I closed my eyes. “Let me do this, Petal. Please.”
“Okay.” Her voice was so soft I wondered if she was half asleep. Then she sniffed and I wondered if she was crying.
“Do you need anything?” I asked not because I didn’t think she couldn’t care for herself, but because I felt helpless in taking care of my child.
“No.”
Again, there was a long silence.
“Is it a boy or a girl? Do you know?” I asked.
“I don’t know. I didn’t ask. I’m not sure it’s discernible at this point.”
I wondered what she’d think of the name Jane if it was a girl. My mom would get a kick out of that. I figured now wasn’t the time to ask.
“I’m sorry Cy. I’m so tired.”
“Of course. Get some rest. I’ll forward you the ticket.”
“Goodnight.”
“Goodnight.” I hung up imagining her in her little apartment climbing under her covers. Her parents were in Florida. Jude and April, while close, had their own lives. I had my mother and even Lora. Petal was alone. There was something wrong about that.
“Cy?”
I stood and went to my mother’s room. “Yes? You fell asleep during St. John’s proposal, as does everyone.”
She laughed. “Is everything okay with Petal?”
I sat on the edge of the bed and pulled up the text Petal sent, then showed it to my mom.
“Oh Cy…” My mom’s eyes welled with tears. “It’s your baby. My grandbaby. Oh, it’s so beautiful.”
I sat next to her on the bed and stared at the black and gray blob. “I’ll take your word for it.”
“Oh Cy.” She gave me a playful slap on the arm.
“She said she heard the heartbeat,” I told her, as the same awe she was feeling flowed through me.
“You should be there.” My mother used her fingers to enlarge the photo.
“I will in January. I asked her to let me know about all visits.”
“No. I mean all the time. It’s not easy to be pregnant and alone. This I know.”
I swallowed hard as that tug-of-war between my duty to two women tore me apart. “I can’t leave you, mom.”
“I have Lora. Who does Petal have?”
“She has Jude and April,” I said, although hadn’t I just wondered how much they could give her with their own family obligations, and Jude was taking on most of the business responsibilities. “She said she’d come meet you.”
My mom looked up at me. “She’s coming here?”
“Yes. To meet you.”
“Me? Not so see you?”
I returned my gaze to the phone, not liking the way my mother looked at me each time I told her Petal and I weren’t a couple.
“I asked her to come because you wanted to meet her.”
I glanced at my mother, who’s eyes were scrutinizing me. “Well, that’s nice of her. She shouldn’t have to do that. I should see her.”
“You can’t travel mom. Even when your induction treatment ends this week, you’re still weak. It’s getting late. You should go to sleep.”
“I hate it when you parent me, but I guess you need the practice.”
I grinned at her as I stood. “Why do I feel like you’d still whip my ass if I misbehaved.”
“Because I would.”
I kissed her goodnight and then went to my makeshift office and bought Petal a plane ticket to Chicago for this Saturday.
The next day, Lora showed up in the afternoon, as I was dusting per my mother’s instructions.
“You can’t have your baby mama here in a dusty house, Cy,” she’d said.
“I smell cleansers.” Lora said when I let her in.
“Cy’s friend is coming to visit,” my mother explained from her recliner. I hadn’t told Lora about the baby, and for once, my mom hadn’t spilled the beans either.
“Oh?” Lora arched a brow as she looked at me. I couldn’t tell how she felt about that.
I guessed now was as good of time as any to tell her. “Mom wants to meet her.”
“I see. I didn’t know you two reconciled.”
“They’re just friends,” my mom said. Then she whispered loudly. “With benefits.”
I winced and closed my eyes.
Lora bit her lip in what looked like an attempt to keep from laughing. “I see. I got the feeling it was more than that.”
I suppose I’d given her that impression when I used Petal as an excuse to avoid Lora’s advances.
“I wonder about that myself,” my mother said.
I held up my hands in surrender. “Stop speculating on my love life. We aren’t a couple. But…” For some reason I wasn’t sure I wanted Lora to know about the baby. It wasn’t that I was afraid she’d be mad. Or maybe I was afraid she would be and then wouldn’t help my mom.
“But?” Lora prodded.
“She’s having a baby,” I blurted.
Lora’s brow arched again.
“My baby,” I clarified, in case she didn’t understand. Which was silly. Of course, she did. Why would she be coming if she was having someone else’s baby?
“Oh.” There was no hiding her disappointment. “You forgot about birth control when you were in the SEALS?”
My jaw tightened. No, I forgot about birth control when I was yanking that sexy witch outfit off the woman who’d been bewitching for a year. Of course, I wasn’t going to tell them that.
“These things happen,” my mother said. “I know from experience.”
Jesus. This was going nowhere. I left them to chat and I took care of my mother’s list of things to do before Petal came. I purposefully avoided being alone with Lora because I didn’t want to have to talk to her about Petal and the baby. Luckily, when my mom laid down to rest, Lora said she had to go.
On Saturday night, I drove to the airport to pick up Petal. For some reason I was nervous about seeing her again. I’d been hard on her when I last saw her, and at the same time, I felt justified. She’d withheld the knowledge of my child. Her reasoning wasn’t good enough. Whether I had a fiancé or sick mother or not didn’t matter. I had a right to know.
Whether she deserved my anger or not, it was nice of her to come simply so she could meet my mother. And God, sometimes I really missed her.
I waited for her as close to the gate as I could get and steeled myself for seeing her again. When she appeared, it wasn’t pain or anger that rose to the surface, it was longing. She was on her phone, pulling a small suitcase behind her. She wore jeans and a pastel green sweater that brought out the green in her eyes and auburn of her hair.
&
nbsp; When she saw me, she stopped short for a moment. She slipped her phone into her purse and simply watched me. As it turned out, I’d stopped too. Finding my momentum again, I moved to her.
“Is everything alright?” Should I hug her? She was the mother of my child. And oh, how I wanted to hold her. But she’d lied to me, so I simply stood in front of her.
“Yes. I left Libby to close to the shop by herself, but April came to help. I was just checking that everything went alright.”
“Thank you for doing that. I know it’s a lot to ask you to leave your shop. My mom is happy to be able to meet you.” I reached over and took her bag. It was odd that I was bringing her to meet my mother considering we were only friends, estranged friends at that. “I’m parked out front.”
It was cold outside, but being from North Dakota, Petal didn’t seem to notice. I helped her into the car and then started the journey home.
From the day I met her, Petal and I had no problem chatting. It was one of the things that had endeared me to her as I wasn’t known for my friendly personality. Not that I wasn’t a friendly guy, but I wasn’t very outgoing in that respect. But I’d taken to Petal instantly.
But now, an awkward silence filled the car as I drove us home. I asked her if she was hungry. No. Did she have a nice flight? Yes. She didn’t sound angry or terse, but she also wasn’t her usual effervescent self. Maybe she was tired. Or maybe she didn’t want to be here. Or maybe she was nervous. The fact that I didn’t know when in the past she’d have told me, said volumes about how broken our friendship was.
32
Petal
Leaving Libby and April to close the shop was a little nerve-wracking. Not that I didn’t trust them, but I’d never left the shop in anyone else’s hands before. What really had me shaking in my boots was seeing Cy again. Was he still angry?
When I first saw him at the airport, my heart stopped. He wore jeans and a button shirt with a jacket. Normally I saw him in suits, so it was a different look. He also looked tired and uncertain, which I’d never seen in him before. I wanted to run to him and hold him. I wanted him to hold me. But I’d ruined that by not telling him about the baby.
Friends to Lovers: A Secret Pregnancy Romance (Heart of Hope Book 6) Page 20
