by RJ Scott
“Happy Birthday.” Rowan jumped in and waved his hands. “Yeah, about the icing. It was a bit fiddly trying to spell it all out on there, so it reads more like Hoppy Birthday Gidoon. But it’s the thought—”
“Thank you,” Gideon interrupted. He stared down at the cinnamon roll. “I didn’t realize you knew.”
“Well, yeah, I know a lot about you, but Christmas is a busy time usually and not being at the office means it slips past. I feel bad I never said anything but thought since this time we’re together, and well—” He shut up when Gideon grabbed his hand.
“I mean it. Thank you.” Gideon’s gaze was intense, and Rowan thought he would have melted to the ground if he’d been standing as a warm sensation spread from his chest down to his knees.
Gideon gripped his hand and wasn’t letting go.
Rowan turned his hand over and squeezed back. He didn’t understand Gideon’s reaction to such a small gesture, but he was glad it had made Gideon smile.
They sat quietly together, and Rowan watched the waves against the shore.
Please let us stay like this for a while. Please.
Ten
Gideon
Why did I hold his hand? Was it because he gave me a pastry?
All Gideon could think about was that holding hands felt right, but at the same time it could be a step too far in their business relationship. His brain went into overdrive attempting to rationalize what was happening.
It’s just a pastry.
The iced cinnamon roll was the only thing he could think about. He couldn’t actually recall the last time he’d had anything this thoughtful, be it cake, or in this case a pastry, on his birthday.
“Kaden and I just text each other on our birthdays,” Gideon heard himself say, the words pulled from deep inside him.
“June seventeenth,” Rowan said. “He’s a Gemini.”
“Do you believe in all that?”
“Not really, I mean, I’m a Virgo which allegedly makes me neat and obsessively worried over details. Outside of work, details slip because I think I don’t want to know what is coming next.”
“But you know Kaden’s birthday?” Gideon asked.
“He’s your cousin. He works for us, and I like birthdays.”
“We don’t exchange gifts.”
Rowan nodded. “You’d be all worried about getting the right one, and that concern equates to angst over missed posting dates and the appropriateness of said card. Plus, you’d stress over what you’d give him as a gift, just like you did the wedding present.”
That was so spot-on that Gideon winced. “I wouldn’t know what to get him. He was already fifteen when he turned up in my life, and I was thirty. We were at different times in our lives. Way back, I didn’t want to embarrass myself by buying something stupid for him, so I told him it was okay not to worry about birthdays.”
“What about your sister Grace? What do you do with her for birthdays?” Rowan questioned.
“Not much, it’s bad timing that mine is Christmas Eve, y’know? So she doesn’t get me anything, or maybe she rolls it together with a Christmas gift, but mostly we decided my birthday was inconvenient, so we decided to skip it.” God, that sounded so fucking pathetic.
“Deciding you didn’t need a birthday lets everyone else off the hook, but it means you don’t get a special day.” Rowan was matter of fact, but the observation made Gideon feel bereft as if he’d missed out on all those special days over the years.
I still haven’t let go of his hand.
Rowan sat back and slipped straight into thoughtful mode, something he did when he had a particularly thorny decision to make at work. Gideon filled the time until Rowan inevitably tried to fix things by breaking off small bits of the pastry marveling at the flaky goodness as he ate it. He actually offered Rowan some but Rowan was still in thinking mode and shook his head.
“It’s all yours.” There was another moment of silence, and then Rowan let out an enthusiastic aha! “Next June you can send a gift to Kaden.”
“I can?”
“Of course. He and Ryan have birthdays close to each other so get them a hotel stay or a spa day or something like that.”
“Uh huh. Kaden likes cars, maybe I could do a track day or…something.”
“Exactly! Then you can start a new family tradition where you celebrate each other’s special days.” Rowan was so pleased with himself that Gideon went with the flow and concentrated back on his pastry.
The final bite was mostly icing, and it was sticky sweet and utterly perfect. An enormous flow of peace swamped Gideon when Rowan leaned into him and rested his head on Gideon’s shoulder. They stayed that way for a while, and it was as if they were meant to be there, facing the winter ocean on a blustery cold day. Rowan didn’t move, but Gideon knew him so well that he understood Rowan was always thinking about something. When they were in the office, it could be as far ranging as poking at details for an upcoming meeting right up to why a certain tie was good for Gideon to wear. That was the best part of Rowan, he never stopped looking for ways to make Bryant & Waites better, or forcing Gideon to smile, or making Gideon feel like he was…
Cared for?
“Gideon?”
“Yeah?”
“Can I ask you something private?” Rowan asked, his gaze fixed on the rolling waves, gusts of wind swirling around them. He was so serious. He wouldn’t look at Gideon even though Gideon had shuffled to face him as best he could.
“I don’t know why you’re wanting permission because you’re going to ask me anyway.”
Rowan smirked, and that familiar quirk of his lips was so sexy. “You know me so well. So, what would you normally do on your birthday? I mean, we’re not at work, but I know you always have your phone on you. Do you work? Do you see your family? Or meet friends? A boyfriend?”
“I wouldn’t hold your hand if I had a boyfriend,” Gideon mumbled.
“Friends hold hands.” Rowan finally shuffled to turn and face Gideon. “Right?”
They stared at each other, a sudden gust of icy air carrying snow whipped around them. It didn’t matter about the cold, all that mattered was that somehow the two of them appeared to be having a moment.
“Yes.”
“Friends can tell each other all kinds of things, like about their family, I mean you’ve met mine, and you know them all, so you could tell me about yours.”
Oh. So this was the family talk.
“You know most of it. Grandparents no longer with us, parents divorced, and my sister, Grace, who shared most of the burden.” A bit too late, he should never have said that last part. God knows how much Rowan understood about him already, but the last thing Gideon wanted to do was rake over his private life with him. Maybe Rowan won’t comment on it. He pushed the conversation forward. “Kaden’s the only extended family I’ve ever had anything to do with—”
“Your family is a burden to you?” Rowan interrupted, and Gideon knew it was too good to be true for Rowan to leave this. He was like a dog with a bone when he got his teeth into something.
“What do you want me to say? I’m not sure it’s the right thing to be talking to you about family, or my birthday, or—”
“You’re my friend, remember? I paid you to be a friend.”
“No, you didn’t.”
“Yes, I did.”
“No, you invited me to…never mind.” It was easier to give up.
“So, friend, tell me more.”
“I hate you,” Gideon said without heat.
“No, you don’t,” Rowan quickly countered.
“And you’re fired.”
“No, I’m not.”
Gideon felt protected here, isolated even apart from Rowan sitting next to him, enough that he had an insane urge to explain. Where were his parents today? Would they be thinking back to the day he was born?
“There’s not much to tell. Not everyone has a family like yours,” he began. “Some of us just have two sets of parents who have t
heir own lives and only see them on Christmas, weddings, and funerals.”
Rowan squeezed Gideon’s hand. “You can have my family if you like, not to keep obvs.”
“Obvs,” Gideon repeated.
“You can borrow them for birthdays and weddings, but it does mean you need to visit with me at least four times a year, and also invite them to the city for theater trips and stayovers. How does that sound?”
Rowan was probably teasing him, but the concept of a family for hire sounded weirdly perfect right now. He didn’t know them that well, but Rowan’s moms were cool. They worried about their children, and took in dogs, and had undeniably welcomed him into their house without comment. “Okay,” he murmured, hoping that the word was carried away by the wind, and that he hadn’t just committed himself to some weird-ass family for hire nonsense. Rowan leaned away from him, released his hand, and then stood up, brushing snow from his pants and frowning down at the seat as if it had personally decided to make his ass damp.
Rowan looked…windblown, sexy…but now was not the time to give in to admiring his thoughtful, gorgeous, annoying, sexy PA. Gideon stood up, but when he looked at Rowan, he was staring at him, which caused him to pause before putting his gloves back on. They were standing too close, the sound of the ocean and the gusts of cold snowy wind a backdrop to whatever was happening here.
Rowan took a step nearer, and they were as close as they could be without touching.
“Gideon?” Rowan whispered, and that was all he said. He didn’t invite Gideon to cup his face or to tug him that final short distance, but that’s what Gideon did. He didn’t ask to be kissed, but if Gideon stopped now they might never kiss at all. It was the right moment, the perfect time, when they were alone, away from the office and family and friends. It was now or never.
Gideon’s hands still cradled Rowan’s face, and for a moment, they paused as Gideon looked into Rowan’s dark eyes.
“What am I doing?” he said, but Rowan didn’t answer. Instead, they met in the middle with a gentle sweet touch of lips before separating.
Gideon’s heart beat hard, every exposed inch of skin tingled, and they stared at each other. This was wrong, this was a boss taking advantage, this would ruin everything they had between them, he had to stop it now when they could still laugh this off as nothing. This time there was no alcohol, no post-wedding aura. Was there really a way to excuse them sharing a kiss this time?
“We should—”
Rowan didn’t give Gideon a chance to talk. He took the initiative, and it was his turn to begin a kiss. Wrapping his hands around Gideon’s neck, he kissed him. From a gentle exploration, it soon became more. A desperate need to taste that overtook Gideon in a frenzy. He wanted to feel Rowan against him, wanted to press him to a wall, take his fill of these needy kisses. Somehow, he managed to move them so that Rowan was cradled between the wall of the shelter and Gideon. The powerful anticipation of taking care of Rowan was nearly too much, but the gusts of snow reminding them they were in public was enough to keep Gideon from having his hands all over Rowan.
Their coats were too bulky for Gideon to really feel Rowan, but if Rowan was half as hard as he was right now…they could get off here. They could grind against each other, and deepen the kiss, and…
Rowan pulled back and away, a finger to his lips, and he looked dazed. “Oh,” he muttered, and Gideon winced when he imagined that Rowan’s next words would be a denial of what they’d done or a comment about work relationships. “That was…” For a moment, he stood there, and Gideon waited for more. Then in a quick move he had an armful of Rowan, and they were kissing again, a hundred kinds of frantic and needy.
So much for work relationships being ruined—this was all about lust.
The next time they separated Rowan was grinning, but he didn’t go back in for more kisses. Instead, he put on his gloves, fixed his coat, and picked up the plastic tub. “We should…yeah…maybe get going.”
Gideon took a moment to rearrange himself and caught Rowan staring at him with a hungry gaze. He so nearly dragged Rowan toward him for more kissing. They made it all the way to the van, and even though it wasn’t far, it was enough time for Gideon to begin second guessing himself. He glanced at Rowan and wondered if he was having similar thoughts.
“Stop it,” Rowan warned and then smiled. “That was inevitable. It’s been building since the day you hired me.”
“It has?”
Rowan laughed then, and the sound of it made Gideon smile. He added a shimmy, and a turn, and then pointed at himself. “Plus who can resist all of this?”
“I have resisted,” Gideon reminded him.
“In your dreams,” Rowan replied. “Wedding?”
“I think you instigated then.”
“You lingered,” Rowan reminded him and unlocked the van.
Inside they sat for a moment, and Rowan reached for his hand. One more time they sat hand in hand, but when Gideon leaned in for another kiss, he was certain that Rowan would want it, and would be there to kiss him back.
He did.
This was turning out to be the best birthday.
“Should we talk about this?” Gideon asked as they neared the house. He was dazed, insecure, unsure, worried, turned on, confused. God, he didn’t know what he was.
Rowan parked and killed the engine. “Let’s just leave talking for the moment, yeah?”
He kissed Gideon one last time, and they climbed out of the vehicle. Rowan pulled his beanie down over his ears and cursed at the sudden cold while Gideon watched for any sign that Rowan regretted the kiss. There was nothing.
“Let’s go into the house quickly,” Rowan announced, not quite meeting Gideon’s gaze, and held out a hand to tug him toward the big house, but Gideon wanted a quiet place to talk.
Or kiss.
He was happy with either, but maybe talking would stop the kissing or kissing might mean they never talk and fuck, it was a mess.
“I thought maybe we should talk or—”
“After,” Rowan interrupted and opened the front door of his moms’ place. They took off coats and boots, and then Rowan stood in front of him, fussing with Gideon’s hair, then his own, which was a mess of flicks after beanie-use, before straightening his sweater. “Let’s go.”
He opened the front room door and gestured for Gideon to go in first, which wasn’t odd, but for some reason, Gideon was nervous. What was wrong? Why wouldn’t Rowan look him in the eyes? Was he regretting what they’d done? Had Gideon completely fucked up everything? He took a step into the room and stumbled back into Rowan at the bright lights, glaring colors, and overwhelming noise.
“Surprise!”
Eleven
Rowan
“Go on. Put it on.” Rowan sucked the icing from his thumb and side-eyed Gideon. The two of them were sitting together on one of the sofas. Gideon at one end, or close to because Deon had crammed himself in the space between Gideon and the arm of the couch. Deon had his butt in the air, and his face and front paws on Gideon’s thigh and looked to be settled for the night. Rowan ended up in the middle, with Ava curled up at the other side of him currently absorbed in a text conversation. Rowan figured it was with her ex.
Does he want her back? Or is she chasing after him?
Mom, Momo, and Kevin’s wife, Esther, were in the kitchen. Kevin himself was down on the floor with his older daughter and Sarah’s kids, while Sarah and her husband were upstairs, dropping off their bags, having just arrived ten minutes ago.
“You need to wear the hat.” Clara, Kevin’s youngest, announced and pointed at Gideon.
Gideon raised his hands. He looked uncomfortable despite the smile he wore. “I’m all right. But thank you.” His tone was soft.
So, he does know how to talk to children.
Gideon chuckled but it sounded off somehow, forced, awkward.
Or maybe not.
“Uncle Rowan.” Clara glared at him as if it was his fault Gideon wasn’t playing along.
“But…” Though he protested, Gideon leaned over.
Rowan positioned the hat and straightened the elastic that would hold it in place. “A birthday boy needs a hat.”
“And where’s your hat?” Gideon asked and sat back. He gently touched his hair where Rowan’s fingers had brushed. There was a gentle smile at the corner of his mouth.
What is this feeling? They hadn’t had a chance to talk about their kiss from earlier or about crossing the line they had stood on either side of for all these years. The line between a boss and his PA.
We need to talk about it.
“My hat?” Rowan arched his neck. “I think I took it off when I was checking out the snacks.” He smiled and poked Clara in the small of her back, her attention had turned to the brightly colored children’s show on the television. The sound was muted, but the cartoon characters seemed to move in a way that matched the music Momo had set playing on the stereo.
Clara looked up at him. Her big blue eyes were the same as her mother’s. Although Rowan had found the shape of her nose and mouth reminded him of Kevin.
“Can you go get my hat for me? It’s on the table.” He pointed across the room.
Clara simply nodded and scurried away. Rowan tilted his head and couldn’t help but smile.
“You’re better with children than I imagined,” Gideon mused.
“Really?”
Gideon stared at where Kevin was playing with the others. “You’re always so organized, like things just so. Children equal chaos and are unpredictable. I thought you’d find them difficult.”
Rowan quirked an eyebrow. He guessed he’d never really talked to Gideon about his family or his nieces and nephews. There’d always been this wall around Gideon when family was mentioned, he’d always seem uncomfortable, distracted as if backing away from those types of conversations.
