Unhinged

by Chani Lynn Feener

  Micah was a ghost.

  He was the God of the Underworld.

  And she was a Gravewalker.

  The world had stopped making sense three stops ago. She owed it to herself to figure this out, to be honest about how she felt. She’d tell Micah, and he would understand. He’d have to. He was the one who wanted space, after all, so he could be with his father.

  She couldn’t be mad about that anymore, either. He’d just realized what she’d taken months to. They both needed to grow, become the people they were meant to be, without the other there forcing them into a mold.

  “I care about you, too, Hadrian,” she said then, a huge weight floating off her shoulders.

  His grin was infectious. “I still have secrets, Spencer. Things I haven’t told you.”

  “I know,” she shrugged. “We have nine months for you to fill me in.”

  “Persephone is out there now; it’s going to be dangerous for all of us. You hurt her pretty badly, but once she’s healed, she’ll come after us. She wants revenge against Thayer and me for putting her in Tartarus. And she doesn’t seem to like you very much.”

  “Yeah, well,” she sighed, “the feeling is completely mutual.”

  “I’ll be prepared for her the next time, she won’t get the upper hand. I’m still a god, after all. I have a reputation to uphold, especially after the disastrous display back there.”

  “Lucky I was there to save you,” she teased, liking the way his laugh sounded.

  “Her hand squeezing my heart was getting a bit tedious.”

  “That’s what she was doing?” she gasped.

  He pulled into her driveway and shut the car off, turning in the seat to face her. “I’m the God of the Underworld, Spencer,” he whispered. “That isn’t going to change. I’m still going to be the same pain in the ass come morning. And I still have a brother who’s Death.” Something caught his attention and he turned with a frown. “Who also happens to be standing in your doorway…?”

  He was out of the car so quickly that she had to blink a few times to realize he’d used his god speed. He was already half way across the front yard by the time she managed to climb out and go after him.

  “What are you doing here?” he snarled up at Thayer, just reaching the steps that led up to the door.

  She grabbed onto his arm, tugging him back a little before he could do anything stupid. “Wait,” she took a sharp inhale, completely out of breath from the short sprint she’d just done, “there’s something I need to tell you. He—”

  “Spencer?”

  She stilled when her name was called from within the house, sending a confused look to Thayer before it came again. That couldn’t be…

  “Spencer?” Micah appeared behind the God of Death. Thayer just barely had enough time to step out of the way, before he was bolting out of the house and down the three stairs. “Spencer!”

  He took her up in his arms, tearing her away from Hadrian in the process. He held her so that her feet dangled an inch or so off the ground, hands pressing against her back as he buried his face against her neck and breathed deep.

  Breathed.

  She pulled herself back enough to wiggle her palm between them, a hysterical sound slipping past her lips when she felt the unmistakable thumping of his heart in his chest. She brought the fingers of her other hand to his neck, needing to double check. The steady pulse confirmed it.

  He was alive!

  “How?” She turned so she could look at the gods, and when her eyes landed on Hadrian, her elation vanished as quickly as it had come.

  Micah was alive… Which meant…

  His expression was tight, and he was clenching his hands at his sides. Without a single word, he spun on his heels and brushed past his brother into the house.

  She watched him go with a sick sense of dread, then glanced at Thayer.

  “Let’s go inside,” he motioned with his head. “We’ve things to discuss.”

  “Wait,” Micah stopped her when she went to comply. “I just want to hold you for real for a second. I can’t believe this is really happening.”

  “Yeah,” she forced a smile. “Me either.”

  Chapter 33:

  Spencer couldn’t sit, the excitement and confusion giving her a spike of an adrenaline rush even after everything she’d been through that night.

  She’d been told that her parents were upstairs in bed, asleep, and that they didn’t need to worry about waking them. She was going to ask, but figured their brother Hypnos probably had something to do with it.

  “Ferris is still with the girls at the dance,” Thayer informed his brother from where he stood in the doorway leading to the foyer.

  Hadrian was blocking the other exit, the door leading into the kitchen. His arms were crossed over his chest, legs spread, and he’d taken on the expression of stone that always reminded her of the god he was.

  “They don’t know anything,” he continued. “I told him to let them have their fun.”

  Hadrian nodded, but made no other motion to show he’d heard him. He kept his gaze locked on her in the center of the room.

  Micah was holding her hand, and she didn’t know what to do. She loved him, and Hadrian… She cared about him, sure, had feelings for him. But it wasn’t love, she hadn’t known him long enough for that to be a factor. She’d wanted that chance to get to know him better, but now Micah was back, and he was alive…

  “Our deal, little Gravewalker,” Thayer drew her attention his way.

  “What deal?” Hadrian growled, if possible, tensing even more.

  “She’s bound her soul to us, brother.” He smirked when Hadrian’s eyes widened. “In exchange for what she wanted most.”

  “You brought Micah back from the dead,” Spencer said. “That was our deal? That’s what you were referring to?”

  “You thought I was going to kill you,” he told her knowingly. “It’s the fact that you were willing to let me that made up my mind. With Micah here, there’s no reason for you to reach into the Underworld. The gateway has been closed.”

  “Persephone is already out,” Hadrian reminded them. “She doesn’t need a gateway to bring out spirits. She’s not done yet.”

  “No, she isn’t,” he agreed. “Which is why I’m insisting Spencer learn to hone her abilities. She’ll be coming for you after that stunt you pulled. She’s vengeful. You need to be able to protect yourself.”

  “She needs for all of this to end,” Micah argued. “She needs her normal life back.”

  Thayer narrowed his eyes. “Her soul’s been bound.”

  “I don’t even know what that means,” he said. “But I know her, and she doesn’t need this. She almost died tonight. You can’t put her life at risk like that. Just let her go, problems with this Persephone girl have nothing to do with us anymore.”

  “It was made so on the river Styx,” Thayer pressed. “It cannot be undone.” He turned to Spencer. “Did I make a mistake in dealing with you, Gravewalker?”

  “No.” She sent Micah a look when he tried to pull her back and stepped forward. “I want to stop her just as much as you do.”

  “I doubt that,” he disagreed, but the corner of his mouth tilted up. “St. James will get his life back. I’ll make sure the rest of the mortals believe a similar story. All will be well there. We’ve Reapers searching for Persephone and the other souls that escaped with her, but it’s going to take time. Having a Gravewalker on our side will be most beneficial.”

  Spencer smiled. She still didn’t know exactly what that meant, but at least she wasn’t powerless to protect herself or her friends.

  “Thank you,” Micah said, the anger leaving his voice. “Really, thank you.”

  “This means no more visits with your father,” Thayer reminded him.

  He glanced away. “I know.”

  She felt a stab of sorrow for him. He’d wanted those months with his dad, and now he wasn’t going to get them. She ran a hand over his back instinctually.
The growl from the other side of the room surprised her, and she twisted her head to find Hadrian barely controlling his coiled rage.

  Was that… jealousy?

  “This changes nothing between us,” he stated.

  Micah tensed at her side. “Actually it changes everything. She doesn’t need you or your deal anymore. She’s already got me.”

  “Their agreement was decided long before I interfered,” Thayer corrected. “My bringing you back ahead of schedule did nothing to erase their terms. Spencer must still complete the six months time in the Underworld.”

  “That’s why you insisted I bind my soul to the both of you, isn’t it?” she accused.

  “That’s but one reason,” he shrugged, then took a single step back. “I’m needed elsewhere. I look forward to getting to know you, Spencer Perry.”

  Once the three of them were alone, Micah turned her in his arms. “I need to go see my mom,” he whispered. “I can talk to her now… She can see me.”

  She nodded her understanding, happy for him.

  His gaze shifted over to where Hadrian still stood. “I’m not leaving you alone with him, though. Come with me. We can let her know I’m back together.” He lifted their joined hands to his heart. “I won’t let anything ever tear us apart, daisy.”

  “Leave, mortal,” Hadrian barked, breaking the tender moment between them. “Go see your precious mommy.”

  “You first,” Micah bravely moved, so that he was blocking her with his body.

  “You think to protect her from me?” he laughed bitterly. “I liked you better as a ghost.”

  “Yeah, cause you could control me,” Micah snapped back. “Not this time. I’m alive again; you can’t just snap your fingers and send me back to the Underworld against my will.”

  “Can’t I?”

  “Stop,” Spencer tugged Micah, and then glared between the both of them. Taking a deep breath, she turned her back to Hadrian. “Go see your mom. It’s something that you should do alone; she’ll want you to herself. I’ll be fine here. Honestly.”

  It was clear he was unsure, that he didn’t want to go, but that his need to see his mom was strong as well. It’d been months since his death, since he’d gotten to speak with her. The two of them had been thick as thieves after his father had passed away.

  “Micah,” she waited until he’d torn his glare from Hadrian. “I’m ok.”

  “I’ll come back as soon as I can,” he told her.

  “Take your time. Stay with her. I’ll be here when you’re ready.”

  He nibbled on his bottom lip.

  “Go.”

  Finally convinced, he nodded and turned. At the last second he spun back, taking her up in his arms and dropping his mouth to hers in the first kiss they’d had since the night on the bridge. As a ghost there hadn’t been a point to them kissing. There’d been no sensation other than pressure.

  “I love you, Spencer,” he said softly, throwing one more heated gaze Hadrian’s way for good measure before turning and practically bolting out the front door.

  She watched him from the window as he sprinted down the street, disappearing into the darkness. Her lips felt swollen from their kiss, but the warm feeling in her chest was more familiar than passionate. The complete and total absence of butterflies didn’t go unnoticed.

  “He didn’t even wait for you to say it back.” Hadrian’s voice seemed ominous in the suddenly too quiet house.

  Slowly, she faced him, unsure what to say.

  He’d dropped his arms to his sides, but remained in his spot by the door. Tilting his head to the side, he inspected her. “Would you have said it, if he had?”

  She shook her head, closing her eyes so that she couldn’t see the accusatory look on his face. “I don’t know.”

  “That means yes.”

  “Fine,” she snapped. “Yes. Because I do still love him. All of this started out because of him, Hadrian. Everything I did, I did because of him. And now he’s here…I can’t just turn my back. I’ve loved him since I was eleven years old.”

  “But are you in love with him?” He took a deliberate step closer, the streetlights from outside slicing through the window to illuminate his cobalt blue eyes and the determination in them. “Answer me, Spencer. Less than a half hour ago you were willing to give us a chance. Nothing’s changed. You still owe me time in the Underworld. You bound your soul to me.”

  “What does that even mean?” She threw her arms out in frustration. She’d made that agreement with Thayer as a last ditch attempt to save her friends. She hadn’t asked then what that would require, what strings came attached to it. At the time she hadn’t cared. But now…

  The thought of being bound to him in any way wasn’t as scary as it should have been, and that alone had the guilt rising up like bile in her throat.

  “It means,” he backed her up against the window ledge, forcing her to sit down as he crowded her, “that wherever you are, wherever you go, I can find you. Your soul is linked to me. I can summon you whenever I please, call you to me without words. There’s no escaping me.” He paused, lifting a finger to trail down her jaw line. “I always get what I want.”

  She shoved him out of the way and ducked under his arm. She couldn’t breathe with him so close, couldn’t think. Part of her wanted to give in, wanted to get swept away by him, but the other part couldn’t do that to Micah.

  “Everything has changed,” she disagreed. She wasn’t sure if the anger she felt was directed at him, or herself. “I promised my life to Micah. I can’t go back on that promise.”

  “What,” he stormed forward, “when you were ten?” He gripped her wrists and had her pinned to the opposite wall within seconds.

  “Quit pushing me around,” she snapped.

  “That’s a little pot calling the kettle black coming from the girl who just shoved me,” he said. “The girl who made that promise to Micah St. James died that night on the bridge. This girl, who you are now, isn’t her. You’ve changed, evolved. You don’t need to feel obligated to him any longer.”

  “It’s not an obligation,” she argued. “I love him. I’ve always loved him. I’m sorry that that hurts you—”

  He laughed, a tight cruel sound that had her pausing.

  She took a deep breath and chucked her chin towards the door. “You should go.”

  “Not without you,” he shook his head. “Our deal still stands and it’s currently dark out.”

  “I’m not going with you,” she said quietly, though it pained her to do so. “Not tonight. Micah needs me here.”

  “He left to go to his mother. He won’t be back till at least tomorrow afternoon.”

  “I can’t, Hadrian.”

  He froze hovering over her, staring at her for a long while, before finally stepping back. He moved to the center of the room, right under a patch of white moonlight and turned. The angry look was gone from his face now, but there was a wicked glint in his eyes.

  “Do you remember what I said to you that first night we met?” he asked calmly. “After you agreed to the deal and took my hand?”

  She was still trying to catch up with his mood swings, and shook her head no. She’d been so terrified that night that half of it was a blur anyway, and it felt like years ago instead of the few months it’d actually been.

  He held her gaze in his, almost like a snake charmer. “Then remember this,” he told her, and the deep sound of his voice drowned out even the beating of her own heart. “I’ll drag you back to Hell—literally—kicking and screaming if I have to, Spencer. Anything to prove that you’re mine.”

  Before she could even think up a response, he was gone.

  It took her a moment to recover, and she was still reeling from his words, when she realized how ironic her current situation was.

  This had all began because she’d wanted Micah back. Then she’d fallen for the God of the Underworld and Micah came back.

  And here she was standing in her living room. Alone.

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  Sunlight spilled in from the window, warming her skin. She let out a tiny moan and turned onto her back. Her mind was still floating in that hazy stage between sleep and the waking world, and she struggled to stay there, nestled in the serenity it brought.

  Nothing could go wrong there, nothing could get to her. She banked down the fear and the guilt from the following night, tried to pretend like it hadn’t even happened. Tried to forget the look on Hadrian’s face when he’d seen her hugging Micah. When she’d admitted that she loved him.

  “Go ahead,” a soft voice said then, slipping into her thoughts. “You keep me waiting, daisy. I’ll be right here when you’re ready.”

  Her eyes snapped open, her body going on full alert. She saw him perched on the side of her bed, and for one terrifying split second she thought everything had been a dream and he was still a ghost.

  He smiled and broke the spell, the same boyish grin that he’d given her when he’d slipped a worm into the front pocket of her purple flower print dress in kindergarten.

  “Micah!” She flung herself into his arms. “You’ve changed.” She pulled back to inspect the red t-shirt and black jeans he’d thrown on. “I’d forgotten what you looked like in something other than gray.”

  He chuckled then stood so she could get a better look. “And?”

  “Red’s your color,” she said, “definitely.”

  “Well that’s good,” he lowered himself back to the bed, wrapping an arm around her waist, “because you bought me this shirt.”

  “I did, didn’t I?” She tried, but for the life of her, she couldn’t recall for which birthday. “You’re here. I figured you’d still be with your mom. How is she?”

  “Considering the son she’d thought was dead this whole time came walking through the front door last night healthy and whole,” he joked, “fantastic. She’s over at the house right now getting the ‘story’ from the ‘police’,” he made air quotes for emphasis. “A.k.a, Reapers that Thayer and Hadrian sent over. Apparently they’ve already been to see the principal. I’m back at school come Monday.”