“Where do you think I should do it, then?” Miriam asked worriedly, sipping her chai latte.
“You could bring him to Mack’s,” Jake offered. “Or have him meet you there, for lunch tomorrow after he gets off work. I’ll stay behind the bar and be there for moral support or whatever.”
“Perfect!” Fink clapped his hands together. “Excellent plan; Jake, would you mind recording the breakup for those of us who won’t be able to see it live?” He grinned devilishly. “I’ll bet he cries like a sad little baby.”
“No!” Libby and Miriam answered for Jake in unison. Libby turned to Miriam, who looked horrified. “It’ll be fine,” she consoled her friend, patting her hand. “He’s not going to cry.”
***
Braden was an ugly crier.
Miriam shot Jake, behind the bar a few feet away from where she and Braden sat, a panicked look on her face. He held up his hands as if to say, ‘I’ve got nothing!’ She sighed and turned back to the mess of a teenager next to her.
“Look, Braden, I’m sorry,” she told him, feeling truly horrible. “It’s not your fault, really!”
“If it’s not my fault, why am I getting dumped?” Braden whined loudly, in tears.
“You’re not ‘getting dumped’ – we’re having a mature breakup,” Miriam insisted. Jake shook his head and snickered. She glared at him. ‘Help me!’ she mouthed.
“Take it like a man, Braden!” he called down the bar, smirking at Miriam, who looked murderous. He shrugged and grinned – he was having a great afternoon, to be honest – but immediately schooled his features into a less amused expression as Braden’s head shot up from the bar to glare at him.
“Shut up, Jake! You’re such a jerk!” Braden yelled angrily. “This is all your fault, you know!”
“My fault?” Jake asked, taken aback as he walked over to where they sat at the bar. He was grateful that they’d shown up late in the afternoon, shortly before his break – Mack’s was almost empty, so only a few people were there to witness the spectacle. And it was absolutely a spectacle.
“Yes,” Braden sniffed, looking for all the world like an angry child whose favorite toy was being taken away from him. “You probably talked her into it because you’re so bitter, and lonely, and old – misery loves company, right?”
“Actually, I’m doing pretty well,” Jake mused. “I have a job I enjoy, my classes are going well, great roommates and friends—” He winked at Miriam, who rolled her eyes, before he got right into Braden’s personal space and growled at him, “–and I’m not the one getting dumped, pipsqueak. Stop crying and man up, for god’s sake! You’re sad? Go turn that into an art project instead of making this worse for her. You think she’s enjoying your little display, here? I can guarantee that you’re making her feel like crap just because she doesn’t like you as much as you like her. She’s doing you a damned solid by breaking up with you now and not leaving you dangling on the hook for however long while she debates whether she could ever stand to be with you long-term. Now do yourself a favor – take a napkin, wipe your face, stop fighting this, and get the hell out of my bar so I don’t have to see your whiny-ass face anymore.” He stepped back and glared at a still-sniffling Braden, who did as he was told and left.
“That did not go as I’d hoped,” Miriam told Jake unhappily as they watched him leave. “And you didn’t have to be so mean to him, you know. He was just upset and spouting nonsense; you shouldn’t have yelled at him like that.” She gave him an annoyed glance. “That wasn’t what I meant when I asked for help and you know it.”
“Well, it worked, didn’t it?” Jake asked exasperatedly. “He was making you feel bad, and I didn’t like it. There was no need for that kind of behavior. When Callie dumped me, I was upset, sure, but I controlled myself in front of her, and she and I were together for a year and a half – a lot longer than six weeks.” He turned towards Charlie’s office, where the door was ajar. “Hey, Charlie, I know it’s only 4:30, but the place is dead and Cameron’s got it covered – think I could head out a little early?”
“Sure, son!” they heard Charlie call back. “Have a good weekend, both of you!”
Jake escorted Miriam out and down the street. “Where are we going?” she asked moodily as he guided her around the corner.
“To get you some cinnamon ice cream,” he replied, slipping his arm around her shoulders as they walked down the street. “Libby made me promise.” They walked into Beth Marie’s and placed their order, taking their ice cream outside to one of the open tables. Miriam’s phone buzzed with a text.
“That’s probably Braden – he better be apologizing,” Jake remarked as Miriam opened the message. “What’d he say?”
She read it silently before handing him the phone to read.
‘Sorry 4 giving u such a hard time today i no u meant well and i shouldnt have made it so hard for u’
Her phone buzzed again as another message appeared.
‘I just really wanted u to be my 1st it sux that u wont be’
She turned red, shifting in her chair. “Well, at least he seems to have calmed down some.”
“He’s a virgin?” Jake laughed. “I mean, I shouldn’t be surprised, but thank god you didn’t actually sleep with him! He’d be unbearable right now.”
“Like I was about Josh?” she asked wryly.
“Hey, he cheated on you. Perfectly acceptable reason to cry, for a little while,” Jake told her. “Plus, you dated Josh for years. Braden’s upset because he dated you for six weeks and he has nothing to show for it except his tears and a bad case of blue balls.”
“Come on,” Miriam sighed, getting up to return her ice cream bowl. “I’m sure Damian and Fink will be home soon, and they’ll want a dramatic retelling.”
***
A few weeks went by – Halloween came and went, with the group throwing a Halloween party (the highlight of which was Fink as a “sexy devil” in bright red boxer briefs and matching devil horns). Braden made a point of sitting as far away from Jake and Miriam as possible in class, for which Miriam was especially grateful. Libby had quickly moved on from Zack and was going on a lot of dates with a lot of men – one of whom turned out to be married, to her chagrin – but very few second dates, as no one she met could hold her interest for long. Soon, Thanksgiving came along, separating the group for a few days. Fink went home to his parents in Highland Park, Libby joined Miriam and her parents in Plano since her own parents were visiting friends in London (they were rarely, if ever, in town), and Damian and Jake had gone home to Austin, where Damian’s brother (a law student at UT and Miriam’s predecessor in the house) and their grandmother lived just a few doors down from Jake’s divorced mother, single-mom older sister, and five-year-old niece.
“Mom, stop freaking out about the pies,” Jake complained from the living room couch, as he listened to his mother run around the kitchen cursing like a sailor about the pies taking too long to cook. “They’ll be ready in time to take them over to Damian’s house, and if not, then we’ll just be a little late.”
“Jacob,” his mother, Janine, poked her head out of the kitchen, looking frazzled, “Delores Wells is cooking a Thanksgiving feast for us. We will not be late, nor will we show up empty-handed.”
“Okay, we won’t,” he assured her. “Look, I’m sure the pies will be ready in plenty of time, and they can cool during dinner. Go have a glass of wine and relax
– you’re killing my relaxation bliss over here.”
His phone buzzed, Miriam’s smiling face on the display. ‘How’s it going in Austin?’ the text read.
He texted back. ‘Oh peachy. Mom’s going crazy over pies to bring to Damian’s. My head hurts.’
‘Poor baby. We’re going to Fink’s so it’s catered, just have to bring booze.’
‘Sounds like a blast. What time are you guys going? We’re leaving in an hour, dinner’s at 2.’
‘Not til 5. Just killing time with Libby for now. I think she’s texting Fink – isn’t that weird?’
‘Hell yes it is. If they start dating I owe him $20! Do something.’
‘If she actually likes him there’s nothing I can do. Better break into your piggy bank!’
Jake’s sister Leah wandered into the living room. “Who do you keep texting so much?” she asked him, popping the top off of her beer.
“My roommate,” he answered distractedly, texting back an angry emoticon. He’d never been a fan of the stupid little faces before – Fink used them way too much – but he didn’t mind using them in a conversation with Miriam. When she did it, it was kind of cute. Not that he thought Miriam was cute. Although, it was perfectly normal to think your friend was cute—
“Which one?” Leah flopped down next to him on the couch. “Man, I’m beat. I was upstairs playing that dancing video game with Marley for an hour and a half. You could’ve joined us, you know.”
“Nah, I’m relaxing,” he told her with a lazy grin, glancing at his phone as it buzzed with another new text. Leah grabbed the phone away from him to read it first.
“It’s an emoticon sticking its tongue out,” Leah said disgustedly, “and that’s it.” She rolled her eyes. “Who’s Miriam? You said you were talking to your roommate.”
“Correct.” Jake grabbed the phone back. “Miriam is my roommate.”
“Really? A female roommate?” She gave him a dubious look. “That’s new. You guys get along?”
“Oh, yeah,” he answered with a smile, sending Miriam the photo he’d taken of his niece that morning. “We’re really good friends. We’re taking a class together – she’s so smart, I feel like I need to study twice as hard just to keep up with her. And she has awesome taste in music – we’re going to a concert in March, I got the tickets for her birthday last month.”
“Sounds like a nice girl,” Leah noted. “Is she good in bed?”
“What?” Jake jumped, dropping the phone. “Why would you even ask that? Jesus, Leah!” He was horrified.
Leah shrugged. “You seem happy. I thought you might be getting laid.”
“Do you kiss your daughter with that mouth?” He glared at her.
“You bet your ass, I do.” She smirked at him. “So you’re not sleeping with her? I mean, you obviously like her.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Jake gritted his teeth. “Miriam and I are just friends. End of story.”
“If you say so.” Leah closed her eyes as she stretched out on the couch, her feet in her brother’s lap. “I’m going to take a catnap – wake me when it’s time to go.”
***
‘What are you doing now?’
‘We’re in the car going to Fink’s.’
‘Oh yeah? Smack him for me when you get there.’
‘Pssh, I’ll smack him for me! ‘
‘‘
***
‘Are you still at Damian’s?’
‘My mom Leah and Marley are going home soon but I’m staying here to hang out with Damian and Terrence.’
‘Fun – we’re here and apparently Fink’s mom needs me in the kitchen. Later!’
‘K later.’
***
‘Hey you awake yet?’
‘Ugh, yeah – I stayed over at Damian’s and his grandma woke us up at ten. Just ate breakfast.’
‘At 12:30? Shouldn’t be surprised. I just got back from a 4am shopping trip with Libby and Fink.’
‘Get anything good?’
‘They got a bunch of new clothes, I was just holiday shopping.’
‘Oh yeah? Will I like my present? ‘
‘Maybe! No peeking when we get home or else. ‘
‘I don’t know about that...ugh, my niece wants me to take her to some kid movie. Later.’
‘Bye!’
***
‘What’s going on? Fink texted me about an emergency roommate meeting?’
‘It’s not really an emergency. Or a meeting. He’s going to call you in a minute, is Damian there with you?’
‘Yeah, we’re at my house. Tell him to call Damian instead.’
‘K, he’s calling now.’
‘A cat? This is the emergency?’
‘It is to him. She’s his childhood pet and he loves her. His parents just got a dog that won’t stop terrorizing her.’
‘It’s a she? Does that mean it’s going to make noise all the time when it’s in heat?’
‘No, Kharma’s spayed. And she’s a girl and fixed so she doesn’t spray either.’
‘Who the hell is going to clean the damn litterbox?’
‘Fink will – he’s home most nights. I’m kind of excited, I’ve always wanted a cat! My mom is allergic.’
‘I had a mean one growing up named Tommy. This one better not be a biter or scratcher or it’s going to live outside.’
‘No Kharma’s nice. It takes her awhile to warm up to people but she just hides.’
‘Whatever. When are you going back?’
‘Sunday afternoon, you?’
‘We’re leaving Sunday morning early. I’m making Damian drive this time so I can sleep.’
‘That’s smart, I think I’m gonna crash...haven’t actually been to sleep yet.’
‘K’
***
‘Hey I didn’t hear from you yesterday. We’re on the road already.’
‘Ugh I’m so hungover.’
‘You drank last night?’
‘Yeah, we met Fink somewhere. Addison maybe. Don’t remember. We did sake bombs.’
‘Did you pass out again? ‘
‘No I went straight to the puking. I feel awful. Libby already went home an hour ago, Fink’s picking me up later.’
‘Did you at least take aspirin and drink water?’
‘Yes but it came back up.’
‘Tell Fink to bring you some fast food or something...not as good as Waffle House but it helps.’
‘I think I’m going to puke agai’
‘Are you okay?’
***
‘Miriam? Are
you okay?’
***
Jake returned home from Mack’s after checking in with Charlie – the bar had survived in his absence, as it did every Thanksgiving weekend, but Charlie was glad to have him back. He knew Charlie got lonely at the holidays, not having any real family left.
He was pleased to see Fink’s car in the driveway, signaling his and Miriam’s return. He hoped Miriam’s hangover was better as he pushed through the front door to find her stretched out on the couch, a medium-sized calico cat staring at him from its perch on top of her stomach.
“Hey,” he greeted her quietly; mindful of the headache he knew she was probably still nursing. “How are you feeling?”
“Like I was hit by a truck,” she groaned, petting the purring feline. He handed her the water bottle from coffee table and she took a grateful sip.
“Where are the other guys?” he asked, glancing around the house. “I saw Damian’s car was missing.”
“Yeah, they went to the gym,” she answered, closing her eyes. “They’re bringing back a pizza.”
“Good, I’m starving,” Jake nodded, eyeing the cat. “So will this thing freak out if I touch it?”
Miriam shrugged, her eyes still shut. “Dunno. It’s hit or miss with her. She knows me, so she doesn’t mind me. You can try, though.”
He tentatively lifted Miriam’s feet and sat down on the couch, setting her legs in his lap before reaching to pet the cat, who stiffened briefly before relaxing and purring louder, staring him down with narrow green eyes.
“Well, what do you know – I think she likes me,” he grinned as the cat pushed her head against his hand firmly and he gently scratched her ears.
“Don’t sound so surprised,” Miriam mumbled, rubbing her forehead. “You’re a likable guy.”
“Oh, yeah?” he asked, still smiling. “You don’t say.”
Chapter Nine
“We are leaving in twenty minutes!” Fink screamed up the stairs. “Do you hear me? Twenty minutes! You will all be presentable and ready to go, or so help me god, I will kill you all! I mean it; do not test me!”
Jake rolled his eyes, buttoning his cream-colored dress shirt and tucking it into his brown suit pants. “Damian!” he called down the hallway. “I need help with my tie!”
“He’s in the shower,” Miriam reminded him as she let herself into his room, clutching the back of her shimmery silver cocktail dress. “I’ll do your tie if you zip me up first – Libby’s at a crucial point in her makeup application and can’t stop to help me. I tried to do it myself, but I couldn’t reach.”
He dutifully zipped her dress, pointedly ignoring the hint of purple strapless bra he could see – and touch, if he were a complete douchebag, which he wasn’t – as the zipper went up. She turned around and he quickly dropped his hands to his sides in an effort to quell his urge to touch her pretty dress. “Where’s your tie?” she asked, glancing around the room.
Love Thy Roommate Page 8
