“What happened?” she slurred.
“You passed out, kiddo,” Jake told her, as Libby came forward and helped Miriam sip some of the water, trying not to attract unwanted attention – they would do much better to leave on their own than to be thrown outt. “So we’re moving this party back home, because the Crawl is officially over when someone loses consciousness. Can you walk?”
“Yes,” she answered. Jake let her go for a second, and her legs disappeared out from under her. He quickly caught her a second time.
“Yeah, never mind, I’m just gonna carry you,” he decided. He noticed that Damian looked about ready to fall over, too. “Fink, Libby, can you help Damian?” he asked, hoisting Miriam up onto his hip like a child, grateful that she weighed so little; she was like a baby bird compared to his larger frame. Fink and Libby each ducked under one of Damian’s shoulders and the five of them started off towards home – thankfully, it was only a short distance.
It had not escaped Jake’s notice that on the walk back to the house, Miriam had wrapped her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist, laying her head on his shoulder – he was no longer reminded of a parent carrying a child, but of a different situation entirely. It didn’t help that he couldn’t get the memory of her earlier words about wanting a “man” out of his head.
“You’re going to feel like crap tomorrow,” he told her, trying to distract himself from the fact that carrying her like this meant cupping her ass with one hand, his other one resting on her back to keep her upright. “Braden’s going to wonder what the hell we did to you.”
“Blegh, Braden,” she murmured, so quietly that only he could hear her as she nuzzled further into his neck. He groaned a little, hoping she would pass out again – she was drunk, she was his roommate, she was his friend, and she was not helping him right then.
“You smell nice,” she informed him, her breath on his neck making him shiver. “I like the way you smell. Braden smells like cheap hipster cologne and I don’t like it.”
Jake reminded himself again that she was his very drunk friend and that getting an erection while this close to her would probably screw that up, a lot, although it was possible that she wouldn’t remember in the morning, especially since she was out again...but better safe than sorry. He thought about the Pope as he shifted her in his arms so he could open the front door, and everyone carefully made their way up the stairs to put Damian and Miriam to bed.
Fink and Libby made a right at the top of the stairs to Damian’s bedroom, while Jake turned left and carried Miriam to their end of the hallway on the other side of the bathroom. He gently set her down on the bed before rummaging in the medicine cabinet of the upstairs bathroom, coming up with a bottle of aspirin. He took the pills and a glass of water back to her room and set them on the bedside table. “Libby!” he called. “Are you ready to take over, here?”
Libby appeared in the doorway, zeroing in on the aspirin. “Fink was looking for those,” she said distractedly, grabbing the bottle and shaking out a few pills. “I’m going to drop these off for Damian and then I’ll be back, hang on.” She left, and Jake pulled the desk chair closer to Miriam’s bed so he could sit and untie her sneakers – she was still out. He set the shoes next to her bed and relaxed in the chair, waiting for Libby to return so he could go to bed.
“Jake,” Miriam whispered, awake now.
“Yeah?” He looked at her, now curled on her side facing him with sleepy eyes.
“C’mere,” she requested, her voice wobbly, pulling on his arm. He bent his head to listen to whatever it was she wanted to tell him, but she merely pulled him closer and kissed him on the cheek. “I love you,” she slurred, a silly, drunk grin on her face. “Thanks for being so nice to me.”
Libby cleared her throat from the doorway and he jumped up so quickly he almost gave himself whiplash. “I can take it from here, I think,” she told him, grinning in such a way that he knew she’d witnessed the brief exchange. “You can go on to bed. Thanks for taking off her shoes and getting the water and aspirin – I know she’ll appreciate it when she wakes up.”
“Yeah, well, uh...okay, good night!” Jake hurriedly shut the door and fled the three feet across the hallway to his own room, quickly closing his door and then leaning back against it, with no idea how to explain his rapid heartbeat.
***
Miriam woke with a pounding headache and a mouth as dry as the desert. “Ugh,” she whimpered, “I’m never turning twenty-one again.”
“Nope, you sure aren’t,” Libby mumbled next to her in bed, her eyes still closed. “You really went all out last night...I lost count of how much you drank, but it was a respectable amount.” She yawned, opening her eyes and sitting up. “How are you feeling, birthday girl?”
Miriam groaned. “Terrible.”
“There’s aspirin and water next to you,” Libby pointed, climbing out of bed. “I’ve gotta pee.”
Miriam reached for the glass and the pills as Libby disappeared. Her phone buzzed and she grabbed it from the nightstand to find a text from Braden.
‘Happy birthday babe!!! Hope u had a good time last night r u ready 4 lunch?’
She remembered briefly that he was supposed to take her out for a birthday lunch before the party. It was already noon, and the party – a daytime affair with a few of the guys’ friends, people she and Libby had known from the dorm, a couple of her coworkers, her parents, Fink’s parents, and of course, Braden, in attendance – was scheduled for 3:00 in the afternoon. She groaned again and texted him back.
‘Had a great time but still recovering. Need time to get the house ready for party. Let’s skip lunch see you at 3.’
She wouldn’t have minded seeing him, but she really couldn’t handle the idea of looking presentable before it was absolutely necessary. Suddenly, her stomach lurched and she darted out of bed, her hand clamped over her mouth, and raced out of the room and down the hall to the thankfully empty bathroom – Libby must have gone downstairs for coffee already. She quickly dropped to her knees in front of the toilet before violently losing her alcohol-soaked dinner from the night before.
Miriam felt someone gather her hair into a makeshift ponytail and hold it back as she finished, gasping. “You okay?” Jake asked worriedly. “That’s a lot of puke. You should drink some water.”
“I did,” she croaked miserably, feeling tears come to her eyes – she always felt like crying after throwing up. “I think that’s why I puked.” She sniffled.
“Well, at least it’s all in there and not on you,” he consoled her, rubbing her back gently. “Why don’t you take a shower? Or a bath? I’ll get some more water for you. Do you want me to tell Braden not to come over?”
“No, I already did,” she answered morosely. “How am I going to get through this party? I feel awful.”
“Don’t worry,” he assured her. “Take a nice long bath, change into something comfortable that you can wear out of the house, and we’ll fix your hangover. Damian’s downstairs in Fink’s bathroom going through the same thing.”
“This is not how I wanted to spend my birthday,” Miriam moaned, slowly standing up with Jake’s help.
“I know, but you’ll feel better before the party, I promise.” He glanced at the doorway. “Go ahead and get in – I’ll send Libby up in case you need anything, so keep the d
oor unlocked, okay? And if you feel woozy, just sit back and relax until it passes.”
She smiled as best she could as he walked out. “Thanks for being so nice to me,” she called after him weakly.
Jake paused outside the door, her statement reminding him of the previous night, when she’d said the same thing…and then some. “Um, you’re welcome,” he replied awkwardly, shutting the door.
***
A long peppermint-scented bubble bath and brief invigorating cold shower later, Miriam was dressed in her most well-worn thrift store jeans, a threadbare gray cotton hoodie, a light blue camisole, and black flip-flops, sitting in a booth at Waffle House with Libby and the guys. “I’m really not hungry,” she complained, laying her head on Libby’s shoulder.
“You have to eat, sweetie,” Libby told her. “Here, drink some coffee; it’ll help.” She pushed Miriam’s mug closer.
“Don’t want it,” Miriam mumbled. “Just let me die.”
The waitress brought a tray of food over, and Miriam wrinkled her nose at the smell. “What did we order? It smells like straight grease.”
“Cheese and eggs with hash browns – smothered, covered, and country, just like God intended,” Jake told her as the waitress set the plates down in front of her. “Best hangover cure I know of. Also the tastiest – and it has a 100% success rate for all of us.”
“He’s right,” Damian croaked as the same meal was set down in front of him. “Just don’t eat it too fast and you’ll feel great in half an hour.”
The group ate their meal in relative silence, ordering more coffee for Miriam and Damian, who both finally started to look more alive. “Man, I don’t know what happened last night.” Damian shook his head. “I haven’t been that messed up since my own Crawl.”
“You got depressed because no one wanted you to go home with them and you were afraid of turning into Jake,” Fink reminded him.
“Oh, yeah. Well, that is depressing,” Damian replied moodily, sipping his coffee. Jake merely rolled his eyes.
“I don’t remember much at all from last night,” Miriam confessed. “Just bits and pieces.”
“Well, you did pass out,” Jake commented. “I, uh…I had to carry you home.”
“Really? God, I’m sorry,” Miriam shook her head, her face pink. “I didn’t do anything stupid, did I? Or embarrassing?”
“Aside from losing the ability to walk? Not that I noticed,” Fink answered. “I had my hands full with Mr. Sad-pants over here, though.”
“You were fine,” Libby reassured her, glancing at Jake, who was silent. If Miriam didn’t remember kissing him on the cheek and telling him she loved him, he wasn’t going to make it a thing, but Libby clearly remembered the scene she’d walked in on, if the look she was giving him was any indication. “I think I heard you say some not-so-nice things about your boyfriend, though,” she recalled. Jake decided she must have excellent hearing – Miriam had been quiet on the walk home, and Libby had been at least a few feet behind them.
“I did? That’s odd.” Miriam frowned. “I can’t imagine saying anything bad about him. What did I say?”
“I seem to recall you saying something at the bar about not wanting to sleep with him,” Fink piped up. “He’s ‘just a boy,’ something to that effect.”
“Also, you said you didn’t like his ‘cheap hipster cologne,’” Jake added, feeling this to be a safer alternative to ‘You said you preferred my scent to your boyfriend’s.’
“Huh.” Miriam considered this news. “Well, he does smell like he’s trying way too hard. Maybe I should buy him something less offensive.”
“You could,” Libby shrugged, then narrowed her eyes. “Want to talk about why you don’t want to sleep with your boyfriend?”
Miriam blushed red. “I can’t believe I said that to you guys – how mortifying. And I guess I’m just not feeling it yet. Maybe with more time...”
“Are you even attracted to him?” Fink asked her point-blank.
“Of course!” she replied. “He’s cute, and nice–”
“But do you think he’s sexually attractive, or is he cute in an ‘aww-look-at-the-puppy’ way?” Fink interrupted her. “There’s a difference, there.”
“I don’t know!” Miriam answered, annoyed. “Look, we haven’t been dating that long. I don’t want to jump into a…physical relationship. He’ll just have to wait until I’m ready, whenever that is.” She drained her coffee cup. “Come on, let’s go get ready for the party.”
***
The party was a great success. By the time the Silvers and the Finkelsteins showed up, just before three, Miriam and Damian had both changed into nicer clothes and Libby, Jake, and Fink had set up decorations and picked up the cinnamon ice cream cake from Beth Marie’s. Braden and some of his friends had shown up right after the parents with a gift – pink carnations and chocolates, plus a painting that Braden had made of himself and Miriam based on his Facebook profile picture (a shot of their faces pressed cheek to cheek). The gifts had kept on coming throughout the party – Fink and Damian had purchased a $50 iTunes gift card for her together, her parents had gotten her a new laptop, Fink’s parents gave her a Visa gift card (their usual birthday gift to all of the roommates – a month’s rent) – but Jake had saved his gift for last. He pulled her into Fink’s room as the party began to wind down and handed her an envelope.
“What is it?” Miriam asked, carefully opening it.
“You’ll see. Make sure you don’t rip them,” Jake cautioned her.
“Oh, my god!” she cried, pulling out the slips of paper. “I’m going to see Owl City! And Neon Trees! And Maroon 5! Oh, my god, Jake!”
“We are going to see them,” he corrected her with a grin. “In March, but I wanted to give these to you today. Happy birthday.”
Miriam threw herself at him, her face pressed into his chest as she hugged him tightly. “Thank you,” she mumbled into his sweater. “This is the best present ever.”
Jake patted her back a little awkwardly. “You’re welcome. But hey, it’s not like I painted you a picture or got you flowers and chocolate – your boy really went all out.”
She pulled back and made a face. “I didn’t want to hurt his feelings, but honestly? Pink fluffy flowers are not my style. I’m a white roses sort of girl.”
“Yeah, I can picture that,” Jake nodded. “Duly noted.”
“And you guys can have the candy – I’m not a big fan of nuts in my chocolate,” she admitted, dropping her hands back to her sides and stepping back. “I wish he hadn’t spent so much.”
“He spent, like, less than twenty dollars, probably at Sack-N-Save,” Jake pointed out. “I wouldn’t feel too badly about it.”
She shrugged as they left Fink’s room to return to the party, where Damian was flirting with Britney from the Willis lab and actually seemed to be making some progress. “I guess. You spent way too much on me, too – but I’ll let it slide because I’m so excited about the concert!” She smiled up at him. “You’re a good friend, Jake.”
“Yeah,” he grinned back at her. “You’re not so bad, yourself.”
Chapter Eight
“I have to b
reak up with Braden,” Miriam announced on the Thursday before Halloween, two weeks after her birthday. The roommates and Libby were at Jupiter House, having a late night homework/study get-together. Miriam and Jake had just returned from their sociology class after receiving their midterm grades. They were both pulling an ‘A,’ but just barely, thanks to a complete lack of effort by Braden on their recent group project. He showed up to every project meeting with nothing done – he always “forgot” what he was supposed to do, even when Miriam made him a bulleted list (and even drew pictures when he claimed he still didn’t understand the assignment) – and Miriam and Jake had spent the previous weekend locked up in the library without him, trying desperately to finish the project by the midnight due date on Saturday night. They’d pulled a ‘B’ on the project, but made up for it with excellent weekly quiz grades, and had agreed never to include Braden in a class project again. Jake knew Miriam had been angry with her boyfriend, but he assumed they’d resolved it already; it didn’t seem like something she’d break up with him over.
Fink closed his Business Ethics textbook. “You have our attention; proceed, please.”
She sighed. “I thought I was just still annoyed with him for not putting in his share of the work on our project, but the more I’ve thought about it this week, he’s just too into me. He’s so needy! I’ve never been in this kind of relationship before; it’s exhausting. I feel like I’m being suffocated to death!”
“Well, he’s definitely nothing like Josh,” Libby mused. “Look, he was a good choice for a rebound. But if that’s all he is to you, then yeah, it’s probably time to let him go.”
Miriam looked uncomfortable. “I don’t want to hurt his feelings, though. He’s really sweet and this isn’t his fault…okay, it kind of is, but it’s not like he’s trying to smother me, right? I’ve never broken up with anyone before other than Josh, and that sort of took care of itself without much effort on my part.” She glanced around the table. “I have no idea how to go about this, you guys. I need your help.”
“Okay, first of all, it’s best to just accept the fact that his feelings will be hurt no matter what,” Damian advised.
“It’s true.” Fink nodded. “And I’d recommend ending it in a public place – if you do it privately, he’ll have more luck trying to change your mind. And he will try to change your mind.”
Love Thy Roommate Page 7
