Love Thy Roommate

by H. S. Volfson

  “Here,” he replied, handing her a light yellow tie as he shrugged into a brown and white striped vest. “I hate that Fink makes us dress up for this thing every year. I wish I could just wear jeans and a nice sweater or something.”

  She finished tying his tie and tugged on it with a grin. “But you look so handsome,” she told him playfully, handing him the brown blazer that rested on his desk chair as he buttoned his vest.

  “Yeah, well...you look nice, too.” He turned toward the closet to find his shoes, ducking his head so she wouldn’t see him blush.

  “I hope so,” she laughed. “Libby put a lot of effort into it.” She gestured to her hair, which had clearly been curled with an iron – it looked much more styled than her usual bouncy natural curls, and pieces in the front were pinned back in glittering snowflake hairclips.

  “Well, you look like a princess,” he told her with a smile, tugging on one of her curls.

  “Ten minutes!” Fink yelled from where he was pacing in the living room.

  “We know, Fink! Shut up, already!” Libby hollered back from Miriam’s bedroom, and he actually obeyed her.

  “You know, that’s an impressive skill,” Jake commented as he and Miriam stepped out into the hallway. Libby met them there, dressed to the nines in a red strappy ruffled thing and matching stilettos, which made Miriam’s deep purple kitten heels look tame. Damian walked out of the bathroom in his fluffy white robe, whistling, and shut himself in his room to finish getting ready.

  Libby smirked. “You’re welcome.” She and Fink had begun dating just a few weeks prior, and aside from when they occasionally walked in on the two making out on the couch or in the kitchen (and once in Fink’s bedroom, before they learned to lock the door), the roommates were hard-pressed to find a change in the way the two of them interacted. Fink still behaved normally (for Fink) and Libby still yelled and threatened a lot, but they did both seem happy.

  Aside from that new development, little had changed in the month since Thanksgiving. Damian, having gotten his “groove” back, was still out most nights with various women, but the only company Miriam or Jake enjoyed in bed at night was that of a purring Kharma, who had spent her first night in the house meowing and scratching at both of their doors. They had, as a result, both started leaving their doors slightly ajar each night so she could come and go as she pleased – usually she’d start out in one of their rooms, but the next morning the other one would wake up with her curled up on their stomach or wrapped around their head on the pillow.

  Jake glanced at his bed before following the girls down the stairs – sure enough, the cat was nestled among his blankets, fast asleep.

  The three of them met Fink downstairs, where he continued to pace in a tailored black suit and red silk dress shirt, obviously in an effort to match Libby’s dress. He stilled when he caught sight of his new girlfriend. “Oh, my dear, sweet Elizabeth,” he whispered reverently, caressing her cheek, “you are absolutely breathtaking.”

  Libby rolled her eyes, but her face was pink and there was a trace of a smile on her slick red lips. “Mmm,” she replied casually, “you look very nice, too. Are you ready to leave?”

  He glared up the stairs. “Damian Patrick Wells!” he bellowed. “Everyone is ready but you! Get down here right this minute or so help me, I will tell my sister that you are both willing and available! I am not joking!”

  Damian’s door shot open and he all but tumbled down the stairs, fully dressed. “Not cool, man,” he hissed at Fink. “That’s – that’s just not cool.”

  “Damian slept with Shoshanna a few years ago when she stayed here for the weekend,” Jake explained to Libby and Miriam, who looked confused. “She went all crazy-stalker on him. Every year at this party, she tries to get him alone again and he has to spend most of the night hiding.”

  Miriam gasped. “I remember her doing that last year! I didn’t know it was you she was hunting, Damian.”

  “You were there?” Damian asked, surprised. “I don’t remember seeing you.”

  “Probably because I straightened her hair and put her in a black silk dress and pearls,” Libby mused. “She looked gorgeous, but not enough like herself. That’s why I went with something more natural this year.”

  “Plus, it’s a huge party,” Miriam added. “Libby and I are there every year, but if you weren’t looking for us, you’d likely never have run into us.”

  Jake suddenly had an image of a petite, beautiful girl in various dresses over the years at Fink’s parents’ holiday party, frequently accompanied by a taller tan girl but almost always attached at the hip to a black-haired douchebag in a well-cut suit – whom he now knew to be Josh. Every year, he had caught a glimpse of her across the crowded ballroom – yes, Fink’s parents’ home contained an actual ballroom – and thought about going over to strike up a conversation with her and maybe flirt a little, but he’d been too embarrassed and reserved to talk to her and always just stayed close to Fink and Damian. Plus, for the first couple of years he’d attended the party, she was still underage – and it was pretty obvious at the time. It was amazing, though – the beautiful mystery girl was just Miriam, completely approachable and now one of his best friends. At least striking up a conversation wasn’t going to be an issue this year.

  The five of them chatted amicably (or neurotically, in Fink’s case – his parents’ holiday party always caused him undue stress) on the hour-long ride to Highland Park. Fink was originally from west Plano, like Miriam, but almost a decade prior, the Finkelsteins had built a gorgeous $3.5M Mediterranean-style mansion in a newer section of Highland Park. The house was a beautiful monstrosity containing not only a ballroom, but at least six bedrooms, four bathrooms, a media center, an Olympic-sized lap pool and freestyle pool and spa, a state-of-the-art kitchen...it was completely over the top, but Ben Finkelstein ran a wildly successful marketing firm (where his son was an intern) and could afford a fancy house if it pleased him.

  “My goodness, you all look spectacular!” Devorah Finkelstein, Fink’s mother, greeted them at the door, her dark brown hair in an elegant up-do and her curvaceous figure draped in a navy blue velvet one-shoulder gown, dusted with what looked like Swarovski crystals. She kissed Fink on the cheek and smiled warmly at Libby. “It’s lovely to see you again, dear! I love your dress.” Fink had taken Libby to lunch with his parents the previous weekend to introduce her as his girlfriend, even though she’d come to many of their holiday parties in years past as Miriam’s guest.

  “Yours is beautiful, too, Devorah.” Libby beamed back at Fink’s mom, who was known for refusing to answer to ‘Mrs. Finkelstein’ and made everyone call her by her first name – or, in the roommates’ case, ‘Mom.’

  “Yeah, Mom, you look great,” Damian added, and Jake and Miriam nodded their agreement.

  “Well, thank you, and come inside,” Devorah implored them. “Miriam, sweetheart, your parents are already here.”

  They entered the house and followed Fink’s mother down the hall to the ballroom, where the party was in full swing. Miriam’s dad and was chatting with a trio of honey-blondes – two men and a woman – when Warren Silver glanced in their direction and waved them over. Libby and Fink had gone off to mingle alongside his mother, and Damian had spotted Shoshanna and was hiding behind a curtain as a result, so Miriam and Jake walked over to the group. Jake shook hands with each of the men as Miriam’s dad introduced everyone.

  “Jake, Miriam, this is my colleague Brian Jennings, his wife Alison, and their son Gabe. Gabe is a second-year law student at SMU and Alison owns an interior design business.” He smiled at them before gesturing to Miriam and Jake. “This is my daughter, Miriam, and her roommate, Jake Perry. Miriam and Jake are both undergraduates at North Texas – Miriam is studying music and Jake is studying English. Jake also manages a bar near campus full-time, which I find very impressive for an undergraduate – he’s very bright and obviously destined for success.” Jake was surprised, embarrassed, and pleased at t
his praise.

  “Thank you, sir,” Jake blushed slightly, and Miriam laughed, pulling at her father’s arm. “Very nice introductions, Dad.”

  “You, uh – you live with a guy?” Gabe asked her incredulously as their parents continued chatting.

  “I live with three of them,” she corrected him with a smile, gesturing to Fink and Damian, who was now trailing close behind Libby, as though she might protect him from Shoshanna’s advances.

  “That’s...interesting,” he replied, before smirking in a way that Jake could only assume was meant to be charming. “So, you’re a musician, then?”

  “Well, I sing and play the piano,” Miriam shrugged modestly. “I’m a music ed major, to be more specific. I want to direct a choir.”

  “Like a professional performance choir?” Gabe asked skeptically.

  “No, public school,” she smiled. “I know it’s not practicing law or anything, but I like working with kids and helping them find their passion in life.”

  “Passion? I can get behind that,” Gabe smarmed some more. Jake was impressed neither with him nor his expensive suit; he didn’t like the vibe he was getting.

  “So, how do your parents know Miriam’s parents?” Jake questioned, wanting to change the subject in hopes that Gabe would quit his obnoxious leering.

  “Oh, my father joined Warren’s firm last spring. I was invited to clerk for them this past summer, and they asked me to stay on when the new semester began.” He smiled, turning down the smarm a bit. “I’ve learned a lot in that time – I have a great deal of respect for your dad and his firm, Miriam. He’s a brilliant attorney.”

  Miriam beamed at him, rocking on her heels. “That is so nice to hear! I’m sure he respects you, too.”

  The parents had turned their attention back to the three students. “Oh, I do,” Warren Silver confirmed, resting his hand on Gabe’s shoulder. “Gabe is extremely dedicated. I think he’ll make a great lawyer when he graduates next year.”

  Barb Silver came over and took her husband’s arm, gesturing to the Jennings’. “We’re going to introduce Brian and Alison around, dear – why don’t the three of you get to know each other? Maybe introduce him to your roommates?” She smiled at them. “It’s very nice to see you again, Jake – Miriam always speaks very highly of you.”

  “It’s nice to see you, too, ma’am!” Jake called after them as they left to mingle with other guests. He turned to Miriam with a grin. “You speak highly of me, huh?”

  She rolled her eyes. “Don’t let it go to your head.”

  Gabe cleared his throat. “So, what’s it like living in a house where you’re the only female?”

  “It’s nice,” Miriam answered pleasantly. “I love my roommates. I have three guys looking out for me at all times, and I like to think I take care of them, too.”

  “You do,” Jake assured her, sipping the champagne he’d taken from one of the waiters the Finkelsteins had hired for the party and passing a glass to Miriam, leaving Gabe to get his own. “She makes a mean Sunday brunch,” he informed Gabe, stepping closer to Miriam and resting his hand on the small of her back, hoping Gabe would take a hint and back off. This guy really rubbed him the wrong way and he didn’t want him getting too close to his sweet, trusting friend.

  “Really? I’d love to be a guest at Sunday brunch sometime.” Gabe winked at Miriam and she actually laughed, shaking her head.

  “Do you have any idea how cheesy you come off?” she asked him point-blank. “I mean, I’m sure you’re just trying to be charming, but I’d advise you to maybe not try so hard.”

  Jake was shocked – Miriam rarely, if ever, said anything negative about anyone, and almost never to the person’s face. Truth be told, she sounded a little bit like him right then. He grinned internally at the thought that they were rubbing off on each other.

  Gabe frowned. “I’m sorry – it’s certainly not my intention to offend you or make you uncomfortable. It’s just that – well, you’re very attractive, and I find you interesting – I just wanted to make a good impression on you.” He sighed in a way that Jake knew had to be fake. “I’ll leave you alone now. It was nice to meet you both.”

  “Wait,” Miriam stopped him with a hand on his arm, much to Jake’s annoyance – they’d been almost rid of him. “I appreciate your efforts, even if I wasn’t crazy about your approach. I’d still be happy to get to know you better – if my dad likes you, I probably would, too.”

  Gabe’s face brightened, and Jake knew now for sure that it had been an act. “Great! Why don’t we check out the buffet? I’ve heard the roast duck is amazing.” He led Miriam away, her tiny hand in his, ignoring Jake, who seethed.

  “Hi, Jake,” Fink’s sister pulled up next to him and watched the pair make their way over to the food. “Have you seen Damian anywhere?”

  “He’s hiding from you,” Jake told her honestly, not caring enough to spare her feelings as he was otherwise engaged in a staring contest with Gabe’s hand, which had dropped Miriam’s and was now trailing her arm as she stood next to him. Jake couldn’t remember the last time he’d been this angry at someone he’d just met.

  “Oh, I know,” Shoshanna tossed her hair over her shoulder. “It actually makes it more fun for me. Hey, I like this song – let’s go dance.”

  He sighed. “Yeah, okay,” he agreed sullenly, pulling her in close and assuming a waltz position. His mother had forced him from a young age to attend dance classes – he was the only one of his friends growing up who could waltz, tango, foxtrot, or anything similar. He had been pleased upon meeting Fink to find that he’d gone through the same thing growing up – only Fink loved dancing, as was obvious by the way he was parading Libby around the room now like a show dog.

  Shoshanna glanced up at him out of the corner of her eye. “You and Miriam are pretty close?”

  “We’re friends.” Jake’s eyes were glued to Miriam’s back, where Gabe’s hand had traveled and was now slipping a bit. He gritted his teeth.

  “Well, just so you know, that guy Gabe she’s with over there? Total ass,” she informed him. “I met him last summer at a party when I was in town for a few weeks. We went out a handful of times, and it was clear that all he cared about is financial gain and success – money – and sex. I broke it off with him before I went back to Austin – if I wanted to date myself, I would.” She watched as Miriam laughed at something Gabe said to her. “I can tell you right now – he’s interested in her because she’s pretty and comes from money, and because of who her father is. He’ll come to Denton and see her Goodwill wardrobe and her hipster hangouts, get to know her outside of a fancy society party and see she’s not just a trust fund baby with a philanthropic streak, and he’ll be off and running. He doesn’t do relationships unless he can use them for personal gain, and definitely not with nice girls like Miriam.”

  “You don’t think she’ll see through him? She already called him out on his smarmy attitude,” Jake pointed out, hopeful.

  “Unlikely,” Shoshanna shook her head. “Look, I’ve known Miriam my whole life. She only sees the good in people until it’s too late and they’re screwing her over – like Josh did. I tried to warn her about him in high school, but she didn’t want to hear it.” She snorted. “I noticed he and his little slut aren’t here, or his parents, for that matter – they didn’t make the list this year. They’re the only ones from the temple that weren’t invited, too. Serves them right, if you ask me.”

  “You know, Shoshanna, you’re not so bad,” Jake gave her a rare compliment. “When you’re not chasing a guy down for sex, you’re actually pretty cool.”

  She gave him an appraising look. “Who says I’m not?” she asked coolly. “You’re the only one of my brother’s roommates I’ve never been naked with, you know. I’ve hooked up with Terrence and Damian, and Miriam and I used to take baths together when we were little. You don’t have to be the odd man out.”

  He laughed. “And end up hiding from you every year like Damia
n does? No, thanks.”

  Shoshanna rolled her eyes. “Damian is under the impression that I’m interested in more than his body. And maybe when he graduates and starts making decent money that might be the case. For now, though, guys like you two only serve one purpose for me.”

  “Be still, my beating heart,” Jake deadpanned.

  She shrugged. “Just think about it. I’ll be at your New Year’s party next week – and I don’t enjoy sleeping alone on the couch. I get cold.” The song ended and she breezed away, leaving Jake to observe Miriam and Gabe’s flirtations on his own.

  ***

  Fink loved a good party, so every year on New Year’s Eve, they threw a big blowout at the house. No expense was spared for booze or decor, and people were often still talking about the party by Spring Break. This year, Fink was in even higher spirits due to the joy of having his model girlfriend at his side for the extravaganza. The shock of their relationship was starting to wear off for the roommates, who had finally gotten accustomed to finding Libby making coffee most mornings in Fink’s silk robe.