Love Thy Roommate

by H. S. Volfson

  There was thunderous applause as the DJ took over again and Jake helped Miriam down from the stage to get a drink. Libby and Fink, along with Damian right behind them, ambushed the two of them almost immediately.

  “You were great!” Libby exclaimed, clinging to Fink’s arm – she’d already had a few glasses of champagne and was at that touchy-feely stage of inebriation. “I can’t wait until the next set.”

  “Neither can I,” said a familiar feminine voice behind them, and Shoshanna Finkelstein made her way to them, clad in a tight black dress draped with pink gauzy material. Damian immediately tried to make himself inconspicuous, failing miserably as he tried to duck down behind Libby. “Don’t flatter yourself, Damian – it’s been four years, and I brought a date tonight anyway. He’s a stock market analyst – a little bit higher up the totem pole than an accounting intern.” She waved at an older man in his late thirties by the buffet, who smiled at her and waved back, his ear glued to his cell phone.

  “Wow, I’m shocked,” Fink remarked. “You never bring dates to these things. How long have you been seeing him?”

  “I just met him a few days ago; Daddy knows him and had him over for a drink, and we hit it off. I don’t see it lasting when I go back to Austin next week, though. I just wanted someone to hang out with tonight.”

  “You go through an awful lot of Dad’s acquaintances,” Fink shook his head. “But whatever works for you, right?”

  “Right,” she nodded, and turned to Miriam. “Listen, the main reason I came over here to talk to you all was to let you know that Gabe Jennings is here – with a date.”

  Miriam paled considerably. “He’s – he’s dating someone? And he brought her here, where he knew he might run into me?”

  “Yeah, he’s not exactly known for his sensitivity,” Shoshanna replied, her voice apologetic. “He actually asked about you while you were up there singing...and I might have said I heard you were seeing someone.”

  “Who did you hear that from?” Miriam asked, aghast. “I haven’t been on a date with anyone since he dumped me last February.”

  “I made it up, obviously.” Shoshanna rolled her eyes. “I was trying to make you look better. You’re welcome.”

  “What?” Miriam hissed. “Why would you do that? I didn’t bring anyone! I’ll look like an idiot!”

  “His girlfriend, Lauren, is a silly little bimbo, but she has the body to almost make up for it.” Shoshanna shrugged. “I thought I’d boost your image and give you an edge by telling him you’re seeing someone...it sounds a lot less pathetic than the truth, which makes it look like you’re still pining after him.”

  Miriam looked crestfallen. “Oh, my god, you guys, what am I going to do?”

  “What did you tell him about this guy, exactly?” Jake asked, speaking to Shoshanna for the first time since their hook-up almost a year ago. There was no time for awkwardness between them; his priority in this instance was Miriam.

  “No details,” she confirmed.

  “Okay, then we can make this work.” He turned to Miriam. “I owe you for Callie, and obviously we can be convincing...there’s no reason we can’t pull this off.”

  Miriam bit her lip. “Are you sure? You don’t have to do this. I can just avoid Gabe for the rest of the night.”

  “I don’t think you can; he’s coming this way,” Shoshanna observed. Miriam panicked, and Jake took her hand in his, squeezing it gently before pulling her closer and wrapping an arm around her waist possessively. Shoshanna, Fink, Libby, and Damian inched away to watch from a short distance.

  “Miriam,” Gabe greeted her, strolling up with a tall, pale young woman, with straight corn-silk hair down to the middle of her back, clutching his arm. His suit was beautifully tailored and he wore a fuschia tie to match his date’s slinky dress. “It’s good to see you. You were great up there – you, too, Jake. I didn’t know you sang.”

  “Well, I’m an enigma,” Jake replied casually. “Who’s this lovely lady?”

  “Ah, this is my girlfriend, Lauren,” Gabe introduced the woman at his side, who looked bored. “Her father, Doug Aldridge, is one of the firm’s top clients.”

  “Oh, yeah, I think I’ve met your parents – your dad is on SMU’s board of trustees with my dad,” Miriam nodded, trying not to show her any hint of nervousness towards Gabe. “I don’t remember you, though, Lauren.”

  “I only just started coming to these things a couple of years ago, when I started high school,” Lauren answered flatly, reaching into her clutch for a stick of gum.

  “High school?” Miriam asked, her eyes wide.

  “Yeah, I’m a senior at Ursuline – I just turned eighteen,” the girl nodded, clearly bored by her surroundings.

  “Wow,” Jake remarked. “Good for you, Gabe – you’re in your second year of law school, but you can still run with the kids. Nice.”

  Gabe rolled his eyes, ignoring the comment. “So, Miriam – Shoshanna said you were seeing someone, but she didn’t tell me it was Jake, here. How, uh, how long has that been going on?”

  “Oh, gosh, it’s been almost a year now,” Jake answered for her, giving her an affectionate glance. “Valentine’s Day, actually.”

  Gabe looked surprised. “Wasn’t that right after we stopped seeing each other?”

  “Was it? Huh,” Miriam shook her head, putting acting skills to use she hadn’t been aware she had. “I guess since we weren’t all that serious, I was able to move on pretty quickly.” She smiled. “Jake’s just put all other men out of my mind, you know? He’s so wonderful to me. I mean, I knew he was a great guy, but it took dating you, Gabe, to show me just how well-suited we are.”

  “Well, I just treat you the way you deserve to be treated,” Jake explained and leaned down to kiss her glossy red lips. “Like a queen.”

  Gabe cleared his throat. “Well, good for both of you. We’ve got some more people to visit with, so we’ll leave you be – I just wanted to say hello. We look forward to the rest of the night’s performance.”

  “Yeah, you’re both really good singers,” Lauren added, popping her gum a little too loudly and causing Gabe to wince. “You could be professionals or something.”

  “Thanks, Lauren – you know, Miriam performs regularly at a venue in Denton; maybe you two could check it out some weekend,” Jake offered, emphasizing the word ‘Denton’ to irritate Gabe’s delicate sensibilities.

  “We’ll see.” Gabe wrinkled his nose, giving Jake the reaction he’d hoped for, although Lauren showed interest. “Have a nice evening, both of you.” They walked off to speak to Gabe’s parents, who looked none too thrilled at Lauren’s presence on Gabe’s arm, especially since she’d taken out a rhinestone-covered iPhone and was now lazily texting instead of paying attention to them.

  Miriam breathed a sigh of relief, sagging into Jake’s one-armed embrace. “They bought it.”

  “Yeah, so did my mom,” Fink informed them, as the others came back. “She just walked up to me and started squawking about how excited she was that you two ‘finally’ got together. I had to talk her down and explain; she nearly cried, but that might’ve been the god-knows-how-many drinks she and Libby have been pounding back tonight.” He shook his head and laughed. “You two, dating. Ha! You could be brother and sister!”

  Jake shifted uneasily. “Uh, yeah. Brother and sister.”

  “Yup – just call us Donny and Marie!” Miriam nervously agreed, although she didn’t look like she believed it any more than Jake did. Libby pursed her lips, hiding a smirk.

  “I don’t know; I think of them more as a sex-less old married couple.” Damian glanced at the nearby antique grandfather clock. “Hey, isn’t it time for you to get back up there again?”

  “Oh! Yeah, I guess our break’s over,” Miriam realized. Jake climbed up onstage to help her up.

  They sang on and off for the rest of the night, performing such holiday party classics as ‘All I Want For Christmas Is You,’ ‘Blue Christmas,’ ‘The Christmas S
ong,’ ‘Frosty The Snowman,’ ‘Holly Jolly Christmas,’ ‘Santa Baby,’ and plenty of others. For their final song of the night, they performed a personal favorite of Fink’s mother’s, ‘What Are You Doing New Year’s Eve?’ to her extreme and very tipsy delight.

  As they were getting ready to head home, the Finkelsteins caught Miriam and Jake. “You were just wonderful!” Devorah gushed, a little wobbly from too many glasses of champagne. “You sounded so beautiful up there!”

  “I didn’t know you could sing, Jake,” Ben commented. “Or act, for that matter. You two put on a good show for Gabe and that little girl he brought.”

  “Oh, well, you know, friends help friends,” Jake stammered. “Just...being a good…friend.”

  “Yeah, he was just helping me keep my dignity in front of that jerk, Gabe,” Miriam confirmed. “I mean, seriously, he’s parading around a high school student! It’s ridiculous!”

  “He traded you in for a younger model,” Devorah nodded sagely, and then hiccupped noisily. “Every woman’s worst nightmare! And I don’t think his parents are very happy about it, either; I have it on good authority from Alison Jennings that they adored you.”

  “Okay, sweetheart, I think it’s time to get you to bed,” Ben told his wife, who had started giggling for no reason. “Good night, kids – and thanks again for stepping up tonight; you were great.” He led Devorah up the winding staircase, who still giggled loudly.

  “Well, I think I’ll get to bed, too,” Shoshanna yawned, patting her date’s hand. “Adam, go on home, and you can pick me up around ten for brunch.” Her date dutifully followed her to the door.

  “I guess that’s our cue to head out, too,” Fink remarked, leading everyone to the door. “Jake, you drive – I’ve had a few, and I know you were staying sober so you wouldn’t make a fool of yourself up there.” He handed over the keys.

  “You want me to drive the Beemer?” Jake asked, amazed. Fink never let anyone drive his baby.

  “Yeah, try not to get us killed, though. Miriam, you sit up front and make sure we get home in one piece.” Fink climbed into the backseat of his expensive coupe and laid his head on Libby’s shoulder. Damian got in next to him as Miriam and Jake took the front seats.

  Fink quickly fell asleep, followed by Libby and then Damian. “Wow, they’re all knocked out,” Miriam observed, glancing back.

  “Yeah, it was a long night. I’m pretty beat myself,” Jake admitted, driving carefully. “So you’re okay? After seeing Gabe tonight, I mean.”

  “I’m fine,” she promised. “Thanks for being so convincing back there. I would’ve been really embarrassed if he’d thought I was still mooning over him a year later.”

  “Well, are you?” he asked her bluntly. “It’s not like you’ve dated anyone else since he broke up with you.”

  “Of course not! I’m over him. I just haven’t met any guys I’d want to spend time with when I could be hanging out with you guys,” Miriam shrugged.

  “That’s sweet,” Jake smiled at her. He could certainly relate to that. “But don’t let us stop you from finding the happiness you deserve, okay? We’ll be here for you, even if you find another boyfriend – I promise.”

  “No, I know,” she replied thoughtfully. “It’s just...since I was sixteen, I’ve always had a boyfriend, or I was trying to get someone to go out with me. I just want to be alone for awhile, not be so co-dependent, you know? I want to just be Miriam, no…attachments.”

  “Not a bad idea,” Jake nodded. “This is the longest I’ve been single in a really long time, so I know what you mean. It feels kind of good to be my own man. Tell you what – I think I’ve been trying too hard to meet someone new. Let’s make a joint New Year’s resolution; we can be each other’s anti-wingmen whenever we go out. I’ll keep the guys away from you, and you keep the girls away from me. We don’t need a significant other to have a good time with when we have each other. Deal?”

  “Deal,” Miriam grinned, and they drove the rest of the way home in comfortable silence.

  Chapter Fifteen

  For New Year’s Eve, rather than hosting a party at the house like they usually did, Jake put together an event at Mack’s. It was a huge success – there were two hours of open mic followed by a live band, drink specials all night, and a complimentary champagne toast at midnight. The place was packed, and Jake rode an ego high at the sight of his work paying off, with Miriam snuggled at his side. They had explained to their friends that they had made a “lifestyle choice” to stay away from potential relationship disasters for the foreseeable future by pretending to be a couple whenever either of them received attention from a member of the opposite sex – or were in danger of receiving attention, or went out in public at all, though that part was left unsaid. Their friends were confused and a little bit skeptical (Libby snorted and muttered, “Pretending, sure,” under her breath), but they accepted the plan nonetheless.

  So far, it seemed to be working. By the time Spring Break rolled along, they’d managed to stave off every pursuer that tried to get their attention. On one memorable evening near the end of February, upon seeing Jake struggling with a raven-haired girl wearing next to nothing (despite the freezing temperatures outside) who clearly couldn’t take the hint and had accosted him by the bar, Miriam had jumped into Jake’s arms and they’d made out like horny teenagers for a good fifteen minutes, not even noticing that the girl had finally given up and had gone off to flirt with Damian instead. It helped that they’d both had more than enough to drink. It wasn’t until Fink came over and threatened to have them hosed down that they finally broke apart, out of breath, to find Charlie behind the bar, aiming the bar gun at them and laughing.

  When Spring Break came, everyone was feeling more than a little burnt-out. They were all set to graduate in May – Libby, Miriam, and Jake with their bachelors’, Fink with his MBA, and Damian with his BS/MS in Accounting. Damian and Fink were barely getting any sleep between extra work at their internships and already starting to study for finals, and it seemed to be taking its toll on Fink’s relationship with Libby, who was also swamped with work – in the little time they spent together, they fought constantly. Miriam and Jake didn’t have a shared class together for the first time since she’d moved in; Jake was taking his last two English courses, and Miriam was student-teaching at the local high school that was just a short walk from the house – she’d had to quit her job at the lab and was now tutoring on nights and weekends for spending money. Jake was working harder than ever in his classes, and he’d had to promote Cameron to assistant manager to cover nights and weekends because Charlie was now only coming in a few mornings each week for paperwork and status reports from Jake. Charlie’s health seemed to be deteriorating, as he looked weaker every time Jake saw him, and always seemed to be coughing, sometimes violently. However, any time Jake tried to ask him about it, Charlie waved him off and made jokes, leading Jake to just leave it alone.

  It was Fink’s idea to take a road trip down to Austin for Spring Break. Jake and Damian hadn’t been home to see their families in over a year, and Shoshanna had graciously offered them a place to stay, claiming her loft was plenty big enough for all of them to crash for the duration of their trip. Libby passed on the experience, citing a shoot she couldn’t afford to miss, and the rest of them set off Monday morning – Jake and Cameron had switched shifts, with Jake taking the weekend before and after and Cameron covering the five days (and nights) in between; he’d been happy to get the overtime and an opportunity to prove himself.

  They were pulling into Austin around noon when Fink, who was driving, sighed. “Look, I don’t want to start off our week on an unhappy note–”

  “Then don’t,” Damian advised him from the passenger seat.

  “–but I feel like it’s better to just come out and tell you guys now. Libby and I...we broke up.” His expression was sad.

  Miriam gasped in the backseat next to Jake. “When did this happen?”

  “A few wee
ks ago,” Fink admitted. “We didn’t want to tell anyone – it was just supposed to be a break, not a break-up. But a couple of days ago, we talked it out and both agreed it was better to just end it now rather than drag it out – the stress has been getting to both of us and we’ve been making each other miserable.”

  “Dude, I’m sorry,” Jake said sincerely.

  “Yeah, that sucks,” Damian agreed, patting Fink’s shoulder.

  “Okay, well, anyway, I just wanted you guys to know ahead of time so it wouldn’t be weird for anyone if I’m getting some this weekend – and I will be, trust me,” Fink explained. “So just be ready for that.”

  “‘Weird’ isn’t the word I’d use...more like ‘disgusting.’“ Miriam shuddered.

  “Turn left here, Fink,” Jake directed him. “This is our street.” Jake and Damian had grown up like brothers only three houses apart. Damian’s grandmother had taken Jake’s mom under her wing when Jake’s dad had left her, Jake, and Leah, and the two families still remained close to this day.