But still, it’s Borden’s presence that calls out to me, his gaze searing through me, making me want things.
Remember things.
“So...” I try to start but my voice doesn’t come out as planned. “Ahem...” I try to clear my throat of the large lump before starting in again, “So...Borden...” my mind falters when I say his name aloud.
Shuffling my papers uneasily, my well laid out minute by minute plan for this meeting completely goes out the window as I feel my face drain of color. I’d forgotten to take the sheet with the meeting’s agenda on it. The one that I’d painstakingly outlined just this morning to purposely help me to avoid tripping over myself because I knew Borden’s presence would jolt me, making me a scatter brain.
Inhaling deeply, trying to mentally shake off some of the frustration with myself, I know I have to be professional and wing it. I can’t once again come off looking like a complete airhead. Looking down at the top paper in my hand that outlines the upcoming conference calls that I have already set up, I gratefully grasp onto the idea to begin by telling Borden about the TV and radio interviews he can expect to attend.
Handing a copy of the scheduled interviews to Borden, I watch as his right hand reaches out to take it from me.
His cross-tattoo flashes in the light, mocking me even as it reminds me.
I then continue to watch, entranced, as his left hand comes up to grasp the paper as well.
My thigh burns...
My mind flashing back to when his left hand had rested on my thigh as I drove him to my condo.
Remembering how much I’d wanted him to slide that hand up, between my legs...
Heat flows quickly, uncontrollably, between my legs.
Dropping my eyes back to the papers in my hand, I begin again.
“That’s the list of TV and radio conference calls I’ve set up for the rest of the week. I’ll be speaking with each of them, getting the confidentiality contracts signed and will then start scheduling the appointments for you to be a guest. Are there any you want added or removed?” I ask the last question as I know most celebrities have entertainment reporters and networks that they prefer to deal with and others they wish to stay away from.
I lift my eyes to watch as Borden peruses the list.
God, he is just so amazingly sexy, sitting across from me, doing nothing but scanning a sheet of paper.
A few moments later he lays the paper on the conference table and responds, “This looks good. I get along with just about everyone.”
Nodding, I drop my eyes back to my papers, as I try to continue in a professional tone, “I also need to set you up for a photo session. Given the short period of time before you intend to announce your departure from the band, are you available this weekend?”
“Not a problem,” I hear him reply easily.
“Okay,” I say uneasily. I’m not used to dealing with someone who is so easy to get along with because dealing with celebrities usually meant dealing with large egos.
“Since your manager is not here today, who do I contact that knows your schedule?” I continue, forcing my tone to remain professional.
“Me,” I hear him say, causing my eyes to swing up to him.
“What?” I ask stupidly.
“It’s me. You can contact me,” he says quietly.
Nodding quickly, I say, “If you could leave your number and email with the front desk, I’ll have our receptionist contact you with any schedule updates and changes.”
“I’d prefer you call,” Borden replies quickly, firmly. “There’s no need for a middle man. I like to deal with things on my own, whenever possible.”
Swallowing, knowing that I’d been counting on using the company’s receptionist to maintain a distance between us, I reply, “If that’s what you prefer.”
“Yes, it’s definitely what I’d prefer,” he responds quietly.
Purposefully.
An awkward silence descends over us for a moment before I realize both Borden and Ty are waiting for me to jot down Borden’s contact details. Nervously twisting my pen, I turn over my sheet of paper before asking, “What’s your number and email?”
I try not to focus on the timber of Borden’s voice as he recites his number to me but it’s hard when your mind slips back, remembering how that same voice had once whispered in my ear how much he wanted me.
My hand trembles as I begin spelling out his name, a thick lump settling in my throat.
I don’t know how I’m going to be able to do this, - I silently acknowledge.
Lifting my eyes from the paper and Borden’s name now scribbled in my handwriting, I cautiously glance at Ty sitting next to me. My heart twists as I look at the eager smile he’s bestowing on Borden, completely oblivious to the undercurrents that are flowing between Borden and me.
That are flowing through me...
Only ever for Borden.
I have to make this work for Ty, - my guilty conscience whispers to me as I stare at his handsome face. He doesn’t deserve for you to have these feelings,
Pulling myself together, I look across at Borden, firmly ignoring the quickened beat of my heart as I ask in as normal of a voice as I can manage, “Is there a day this weekend you’d prefer for the photoshoot?”
“Whenever you need me, I’ll make myself available,” he replies, once again, very easily.
Nodding, I reply, “Okay. I’ll get it set up right after we finish here.”
Silence descends again as I hold Borden’s eyes a little longer than I should.
“Cass...” I hear Ty say next to me.
“Yes?” I reply, distractedly.
“What about the branding?” Ty prompts.
Flushing, I drop my eyes back to my papers and avoiding Borden’s eyes the rest of the meeting, I begin talking about my branding ideas. Borden easily goes along with everything I suggest only adding a comment here and there.
Silence falls once again as I conclude the branding portion of the meeting, a heavy awkwardness descending in the room as my voice trails off. I struggle to remember what was next on the list for me to discuss as they both wait expectantly in the awkward silence for me to continue.
But my mind is blank, completely drained.
Finally, Ty once again tries to fill the empty air as he says, “Cass will be in touch once she has the time for the photoshoot scheduled but I think that is about all we have to cover today.”
Relief flows through me that Tyler took over and has indicated the meeting is over. I quickly shoot to my feet causing Borden to lift a single eyebrow in amusement while Ty stares at me questioningly.
Trying to cover up my awkwardness, the abruptness of my immediate dismissal, I stick my hand out to Borden as I say in as professional tone as possible, “I should go make that call to the photographer I want to use. He doesn’t usually work on weekends, but I think he’ll want to be a part of this.”
Borden holds my eyes for a moment before slowly standing and reaching his hand out to me. As my hand slides into his, my heart races even more, heat sliding from his body, up my arm and through mine. I feel him give me a comforting, gentle squeeze before we are forced to release our hands.
Escaping from the conference room, I head back to my office where I immediately sink into my chair before leaning forward to place my head in my shaking hands.
How I was going to be able to get through this contract, I have no idea. I suddenly wish that I could have Borden unkiss me...untouch me.
Because at least then my body wouldn’t be able to betray me with memories of what it was like to be with him.
Chapter 7
Borden
Sighing deeply, I lean forward and splash cold water onto my face.
I feel arms slide around my waist and I look into the mirror, into Sharon's worried eyes. Straightening, needing to break the eye contact, I grab a towel and wipe my face.
Feeling the need to soothe her somehow, I lean back into her embrace and turn my head slightly as
she leans up to place a kiss on my cheek.
As she settles back onto the flat of her feet, she asks quietly, "Are you okay?"
Am I okay? - I haven't been okay since the day Cass came back into my life.
She’s all I think about.
Wish for.
Hanging my head, concentrating on wiping my hands, I reply, "Yeah, I'm fine."
How do I tell her that the one girl who haunted me, wrapped herself so tightly around my heart so quickly - that Sharon had done her best to help save me from when I’d slipped into a life of steady drinking and drugs in trying to forget her and my loneliness...is now waiting at her office for me?
Placing a kiss on my naked back, Sharon murmurs soothingly, "I think once you have your press release, some of the pressure will be released. Keeping this secret is weighing heavily on you."
Bringing my eyes up to hers in the mirror, I study her.
She really has no clue. My press release is the furthest thing from my mind at the moment. Cass is forefront, as she has been all week.
I drop Sharon's eyes as I glance around the vanity top, now wanting to use something as an excuse to break this physical embrace with her. Reaching for my toothbrush, I move a few inches away, forcing Sharon to loosen her grasp around my waist until she finally releases me. As I squeeze out toothpaste, Sharon finally leaves.
I close my eyes, thankful.
Then breathe a deep sigh of relief because I need some time to myself, to prepare myself for this upcoming meeting.
To watch Cass sit next to the guy she’s in love with.
That she goes home with every night.
Quickly, I brush my teeth before pulling the towel from my waist as I walk into my bedroom. As I dress, my heart races despite knowing that it will be twisted and torn apart again as I watch her with him.
But despite all of that, I still can't wait to see her. To hear her say my name again, watching her lips as they turn up into a small smile.
After receiving her email a few days ago, which had been very polite and to the point, I’d been tempted several times to show up at Your 15 Minutes’ but I was afraid it would make her life difficult and raise questions.
Questions I wasn't sure she had dealt with or not. I know I haven't. I knew that if Sharon knew that these upcoming work meetings were with the girl she’d once listened to me talk about while she helped me through some of my loneliest nights, it would only make her worry.
Something she didn’t deserve.
A needless worry, – I silently reiterate firmly to myself. Cass and I were both involved with other people. Two seemingly great people. This...thing...that I’m feeling right now is only because she's the girl that got away. I'm sure that’s my mystification with Cass. It was an intense, one-night relationship that I never had a chance to explore.
That’s all it is. She’s the girl that got away, - I continue to silently convince myself. Don’t throw away what you have with Sharon over the past. A memory.
Exiting my bedroom, I smell the coffee and breakfast that Sharon has cooking. My stomach flops because I know I won’t be able to eat.
I’m way too nervous.
Turning from the stove, Sharon smiles warmly as she says, “Breakfast is almost ready.”
Shaking my head, I reply softly, regrettably, “I’m not hungry. I’m just going to take a coffee with me.”
Sharon’s smile fades as she holds my eyes and I see a moment of worry in hers before she finally nods her head. I feel my shoulders ease some of their tension, thankful that she isn’t going to pry further. Because if she persisted in wanting to talk right now, I’m not sure I would be able to hold the words back, to let her know that I can’t seem to stop myself from feeling anticipation in going to see the one woman who has haunted me for five years.
The woman whose memories Sharon had tried to help chase away...
To admit that, I know I would tear her world apart and it’s not what I want.
It’s not what she deserves after all that she has done for me.
Crossing over to me, she leans up to place a kiss on my lips, before she whispers, “This will all be over soon, and everything will be out in the open. Just try to relax and have a good day.”
I nod, letting her wrongly think that my distractedness is because of the looming date of the announcement for my solo career.
Climbing into my car, I think of Cass. My emotions feel so erratic, so out of control and I feel the need to talk to someone. I pick up the phone to call the one person in he world I’d once never thought I could rely on.
“Borden!” I hear Eric’s surprised tone. “You’re back in LA?”
Eric had been my childhood friend since we were both five years old. He’d been the kind of friend that trouble just seemed to follow, and I was often dragged into that trouble as we grew up. He’d had a rough childhood, one that I had many suspicions about, but which Eric never confirmed as he never talked about it. But then Eric had met a woman that made him change his whole entire life. She’d walked into his world with her small, but extremely beautiful child, and had completely shook him up and since that day, we had grown closer. I now admired and looked up to Eric for facing his demons. I also admired his wife, Alexa, for bringing out the good side in Eric that I always suspected was there all along.
“Yeah, I’m here for a bit this time with the solo career launch and everything,” I murmur in reply.
There’s silence as Eric seems to zero in on my melancholy mood.
“You don’t sound like someone who is about to begin an exciting next step in his life,” Eric says softly.
Sighing heavily, I glance around the parking garage, feeling as empty as it looks.
“Remember that I told you about this girl that I met?” I ask him.
Eric is silent for a moment but then he says, “I know the one.”
“She’s my new PR rep,” I admit on another heavy sigh.
I hear Eric’s breath whistle between his teeth.
“Wow,” he replies.
Leaning my head back against the head rest in my car, I reply, “Exactly. Wow.”
“Is she making you feel all sorts of fucked up?” he asks.
Closing my eyes, I think of Cass as I admit, “Yeah.”
Silence and then Eric asks, “Does Sharon know?’
Swallowing thickly, I think of Sharon. This is all so unfair to her.
“No,” I reply.
“So...what are you going to do?” he asks.
Unable to help the self-mocking and sarcastic grin that spreads across my face, I reply, “That’s just it. There’s nothing to be done because she’s heavily involved with someone else and I’m involved with Sharon.”
His reply is swift and abrupt, straight to the point, as he says mockingly, “I guess that’s why you’re calling me then. Just to tell me that you finally ran into the girl of your dreams but you aren’t going to do anything about it.”
“You’re still an asshole,” I quip back as I open my eyes and lift my head, reaching to press the disconnect button on my car’s phone system.
“Hey now,” he says quickly. “Don’t hang up. I’m just trying to make a point that you wouldn’t be calling me if you weren’t struggling with what to do.”
I allow my head to hang forward in defeat.
“Listen man. I may not have been there like Sharon was when you went through that period in your life, but I always knew how much you were struggling. That girl has stayed with you since then and having her come back into your life so abruptly can’t be easy. All I can say is that those kinds of feelings, the kind that stay with you no matter how hard you try to forget, they don’t ever go away. So don’t be so quick to just walk away and give up on this one if you still have it for her. It sucks that Sharon may get hurt in the end but it’s better for her to know your heart is elsewhere so she’s not second best and it’s also better for you. The heart wants what it wants, man. There’s no fighting it. After all, look at me.”
<
br /> Nodding to myself, I know what he’s saying is true because it’s how I had felt this morning. While Sharon had been in front of me, all I could think of was Cass and how I couldn’t wait to see her again.
“Listen, I gotta make a quick trip to LA over the next few days. I’ll be in touch and come see you,” Eric says.
“I’d love to see you man,” I quickly admit.
“And I gotta meet this girl of yours,” he equally as quickly quips back.
“She’s not my girl,” I reply.
“Ah, Borden. Yes, she is. You guys just need to figure out the path to each other,” he says as if he’s suddenly all knowing when it comes to relationships.
During the entire drive to Your 15 Minutes, I think of Cass and wonder how we were going to react to each other today, silently praying that Tyler isn’t present during the meeting.
Because I sadistically want Cass all to myself, even if we are only working.
Smiling at the receptionist for Your 15 Minutes’ after I’ve stepped off the elevator, I try to ignore the suddenly deep pink flush that spreads across her cheeks as I inform her that I’m there to meet Cass. She immediately shows me to the boardroom while throwing an engaging and inviting smile over her shoulder as she departs.
But I have interest in only one woman.
As I sit and wait, alone in the boardroom, I realize my palms are sweaty.
My heart is pounding deeply within my chest with anticipation.
Cynically, I think to myself, - I can manage to stand on the stage, performing to fifty thousand people but one woman has the ability to completely shatter me.
Hearing a movement at the door, I look up to see both Cass and Tyler enter. My heart sinks even as my eyes greedily drink her in.
She’s unequivocally beautiful dressed as a business woman, in her short black pencil skirt and white blouse. My eyes go to her long legs, showcased perfectly by the black high heels. I shift in my seat, my cock at an abrupt and sudden attention, as I remember those legs wrapped around my waist...
Book Two: Inescapable, #2 Page 8
