How it felt to slide my cock in and out of her, her moans from that night reverberating in my mind so vividly it’s as if she is even now moaning in my ear at this moment.
“Borden,” Tyler says warmly, holding out his hand to me, drawing me away from my memories of being with his girlfriend. The warmth of his tone, the smile on his face, instantly reveals to me that Cass still hasn’t told him about our one night.
I reach out to take his hand, not bothering to stand because I needed the safety of the table covering my lap to keep my hardon for his girlfriend hidden. I avoid his eyes as I silently - mercilessly - wonder if those hands of his can make her feel the way I once did.
Jealousy eats at me as he releases my hand and I sadistically remind myself, - He’s the one touching her now.
My eyes go to Cass but she’s purposely avoiding any direct connection once again. I watch as Tyler pulls out a chair for her, jealousy a living and breathing volatile emotion in my body right now as he places his hand on the small of her back. I tear my attention from them to stare at the table, trying to pull myself together. Tyler sits at the table directly across from me, and I force my gaze to him, firmly keeping my gaze away from her as he begins to speak. He holds my gaze the entire time, preventing me from looking at Cass longingly.
But I’m grateful for this small reprieve because if I allowed my eyes to drift to her right now, I know he would see what I was thinking.
It would be written clearly across my face.
That I want her...
That jealousy she’s with him is consuming me, eating me alive.
“Your management team contacted us yesterday and your first video shoot location has been set at a ski resort in BC. Cass and I will be there for the filming, bringing along our own photographer, of course, to shoot some snaps of you for the media launch,” Tyler begins.
“Sounds good,” I mumble.
He nods, his eyes dropping to his notepad as he jots down a few notes and I take his moment of distraction as a chance to look at Cass. She is sat, her eyes fixated on her own notes, never once lifting her eyes to me.
My heart throbs.
Yearning...
“In addition to the video shoot, Cass will be attending each of your scheduled press and media releases. We feel she needs to be there to help guide you through some of those inevitable questions you’ll receive about why you left the band,” Tyler says before glancing up from his notes, forcing me to move my eyes away from Cass back to him again, quickly.
My heart beat accelerates as his words sink in.
He’s leaving me alone with her.
Neither myself, nor Cass, respond to his statement and the silence becomes heavy...
Awkward.
I watch as uneasiness slowly begins to enter Tyler’s eyes as he glances from me to Cass. He sighs heavily and leans back in his chair, his gaze still zooming back and forth between us as he tries to figure out what the heavy tension between us is all about.
If only he knew...
“Cass, can you excuse us for a moment?” Tyler asks.
Cass’s head shoots up, glancing nervously between Tyler and myself. I shrug in response to her questioning gaze, not knowing exactly why Tyler has requested to be left alone with me. Unless he suspects something...
Cass makes no move to leave, her eyes looking like a deer caught in the headlights. I take pity on her, knowing she must be stressed that the man she’s in love with may suspect we are holding something back from him.
“Cass doesn’t have to leave. She’s my PR rep, anything you have to say to me, you can say to her,” I interject. I watch as Cass’s shoulders visibly relax a little.
“Fine. Do you have an issue working with Cass?” I hear Tyler ask me outright in an abrupt tone.
If he only knew what my real problem is, – I think sarcastically.
Instead, I respond with, “No. No problem.”
Tyler sizes me up for a moment before turning his gaze to Cass.
“I don’t know what it is but the two of you change as soon as the other is in the same room together,” he says, causing Cass’s head to shoot up, allowing his eyes to zone in on her in warning.
Silence hangs thick and heavy in the room until Tyler says, “You can’t work together like this.” Again, silence as Tyler waits for a response. Not receiving any feedback, he suggests, “I think what you two need is an icebreaker outside of work.”
I can feel Cass’s panic heighten at Tyler’s words.
“We’re heading to our beach house next weekend. You should join us. Bring that girl you’re dating, your stylist I believe, along,” Tyler continues.
Trepidation immediately fills Cass’s eyes as she holds my stare. I can tell that she’s silently begging me not to accept.
Clearing my throat, I reply, “There’s no need. Cass and I are fine.”
Tyler shakes his head, responding quickly, “I could cut the tension between you guys with a knife. Besides, it would give Cass and your girlfriend a chance to get to know one another. Cass will be the one ensuring you maintain your media image and will need to work closely with your stylist who is ultimately responsible for your personal image. I think it’s a great idea to get them together, and on a personal and relaxed level, beforehand.”
Looking at Cass, she continues to plead with her eyes that I don’t take Tyler up on his offer but, I also know that right now, I won’t decline.
Because I’ll do anything to see her.
Even if it means that I have to watch her with another man...
At least then I can satisfy this starving – driving - need to be in her presence even if it’s somewhat sadistic.
“Sounds good,” I reply, seeing shock and uneasiness fill Cass’s eyes before I swing my eyes back to Tyler.
Nodding, satisfied, Tyler continues as he pushes a sheet of paper across the desk to me, “Now getting back to your scheduled appearances, here’s the confirmed list by date. More may be added as we go along but this gives you an idea of where you’ll be and when.”
Taking the paper, I glance through it, not really paying attention to the details, my brain only consumed by the thought that Cass will be with me every step of the way.
When it’s time for Cass to take over the meeting, I watch as her hands tremble as she twists a pen worriedly between her fingers. I know what I’m doing isn’t fair to anyone, but I can’t seem to think about my morals right now.
All I can think of is her...
Being able to see her, if not be with her, is at least a little bit more of her than I had before I’d found her again.
As she begins to fill me in on the photoshoot details, I can’t help but be mesmerized by her mouth as she forms each word. I watch her entranced, remembering how good she tastes, how well her body fit to mine...
Would it all feel the same now if we had one more night together to get this out of my system? – flickers unfairly through my mind, torturing me.
Tyler stands, distracting my gaze from Cass. I realize with a jolt that the meeting was over and that I’d barely paid attention.
Cass immediately awkwardly shoots to her feet next to him, as he says, “Cass will be in touch with our beach house address.” Tyler once again holds out his hand, and I stand up as well, forced into taking his hand.
Remorse slips through me. Tyler seems like such a great guy. He has no idea of our past...of how much I still want Cass.
Cass moves, and as always, my eyes slide helplessly to her as she slips around Tyler while murmuring that she’ll be in touch before leaving the room quickly and quietly.
Shaking his head, Tyler chuckles awkwardly, trying to make light of the situation as he makes a confession in an apologetic tone, “I’m not sure what is going on with her. Even though she isn’t usually star struck by celebrities, she seems to have become tongue tied around you. She’s usually more level headed and that was part of the reason why I gave her this account. I love her but if she can’t work with you, don�
�t worry, I’ll replace her. I’ll never let work and personal feelings compromise any of my clients.”
My heart feels as if a vice is squeezing it at his confession of his love for her.
I had no right to do this to any of us. I should just tell him now that I have to break the contract, or at the very least, request someone else to oversee this.
But I can’t utter the words that will take Cass out of my life...
Forever.
A lump has formed in my throat, and I have to swallow to clear it, before I reply, “We’ll be fine.”
He nods, collecting his papers, as he says confidently, “I think next weekend will help. But if it doesn’t, just let me know. I wasn’t prepared for her to react to you this way. As I mentioned, I won’t let my personal feelings for her affect my business relationship with you.”
He gestures for me to follow him out the door of the boardroom, leading me back to the front desk, where he halts in front of the reception area.
Holding his hand out to mine again, Tyler says warmly, “Looking forward to next weekend and good luck with the photoshoot.”
I nod, once again having to endure grasping his hand, while silently wishing Tyler wasn’t such a great guy. I could understand why Cass was with him and I should just be happy that she has someone like him because she deserved someone like Tyler.
As Tyler turns to head back down the hallway to his office, I glance at the receptionist. She blushes once again as her eyes connect with mine.
Even though I know I shouldn’t, I can’t help but ask, “Can you direct me to Cass’s office?”
She nods, blushing even impossibly more, as she points to a door where Tyler had just disappeared behind.
Damn it, - I curse silently. He waited no time in going to see her.
Glancing back at the ruffled receptionist, I ask, “Can I get her number? Looks like the boss just went to see her and I don’t want to interrupt.”
The receptionist nods eagerly, and taking a business card from her drawer, she hands it to me.
I stare at Cass’s face, the only face I can’t seem to forget. Rubbing my thumb over her photo, I murmur distractedly, “Thanks,” without glancing at the receptionist again.
Stepping over to the elevator, I press the button and while I wait, I take out my phone and enter Cass’s contact details. Placing my phone back in my pocket as the elevator doors slide open, I step on. Thankfully, it’s empty.
I continue to stare at Cass’s photo, rubbing my thumb repeatedly over her face, wishing it was her soft skin. She haunts me unlike any other woman. Despite Sharon, despite Tyler, I admit to myself that if given the chance, I would explore what it is between Cass and I further.
“I guess I’ve never really moved on,” I whisper to her photograph.
Sighing heavily, the elevator dings its arrival to the main floor and I tuck her business card into my back pocket before exiting. Quickly crossing the foyer of the office building, I’m thankful for the bright sunlight of the LA sun as I walk across the parking lot to my car. Memories of Cass consume me on my drive home and I’m thankful that Sharon isn’t there when I open the door of our shared condo.
With my hands trembling, my heart hammering, I retrieve my iPhone along with Cass’s business card from my back pocket. Once again, I rub my thumb over her face and then unable to stop myself, I dial her office number.
“Good afternoon, Cassandra speaking,” I hear her clear, professional voice answer.
“Cass,” I murmur softly, feeling as if my heart is in my throat.
There’s a moment of silence and then she speaks my name softly, “Borden...”
Her voice, saying my name, it sounds so sweet as it flows into my very core, grasping and twisting my heart.
“Are we going to be able to do this?” I ask her truthfully through the aching, searing pain in my throat.
She remains quiet for a few minutes but then finally responds in a voice filled with emotion in return, “It was a long time ago. We’ve both moved on.”
Have we? - I silently question myself. Because from the moment that I first saw you again, I wanted to go back to that night, to never leave you.
“Borden...” I hear her sigh out when I don’t respond. I close my eyes as I realize I want to hear her say my name, whispering it into my ear, as I slide myself deep inside of her again. To hear her scream it as I grasp her hips, pulling her roughly down onto my cock as she rode me.
“Cass...” I whisper.
She remains silent for several moments.
“I’m with Tyler, Borden. What we had was nothing more than one night. Why would we throw away everything we have based on one night from our past?” Cass asks quietly.
I say nothing. Because it felt like so much more than one night to me. Guilt eats at me and I close my eyes as I think of Sharon.
“I have a life with Tyler, Borden,” she continues in a whisper. I hear her sigh heavily as she says, “You have a life with Sharon. Do we really want to throw away what we have with them because there’s some stirring of feelings upon seeing each again?” I don’t answer because I can’t. My throat is aching too much to even be able to attempt to say a single word.
A few moments later, she continues softly, “I think it’s natural...normal that we are questioning ourselves. But I don’t want to throw away all that I have with Ty because we had that one night so many years ago.”
Again, I remain quiet.
I hear her sigh and I remember her sighs from that night, as if she’s now here with me, giving me the repeat of that night that I want so much.
“We don’t even really know each other. We never really did,” she whispers.
Frustrated, I pull my hand through my hair in agitation. I know we don’t know each other, but I somehow have this feeling that what I feel for Cass is so much more than one night.
“Why haven’t you told Tyler about us?” I ask, my frustration overwhelming me.
A few more seconds of silence and then she replies, “I didn’t want to jeopardize this account over a one-night stand. I’m trying to leave the past in the past.” She pauses before continuing, “To leave past mistakes in the past.”
Anger rises in me.
She called me a mistake, and despite everything - the fact that we are both with someone else, the passage of time and my dark struggle, the complications that would follow if that one night of the hottest sex of my life came to light – I could never consider a single moment of being with Cass a mistake.
“So now you’re saying that I was a mistake?” I spit out.
Unable to help myself, I threaten to take away the one thing I know is important to her, because it’s important to Tyler.
“Maybe I will cancel the contract and take my business elsewhere. Would that make it easier?”
Sighing in defeat, she admits softly, “No, that’s not what I want. Tyler is counting on this and it’s not fair to him that because we can’t work together that his company lose this contract. You’re his biggest client to date and we both know that being the PR name behind your solo career will push his company to the next level.” She sighs once more before saying, “Maybe it’s best that I step away from this account before we proceed further and let you work with someone else within the company. Tyler already threatened to take me off the account after we met today. It would probably be the best option for everyone.”
My heart drops. I don’t want her off my account. I know it would be best for everyone but I selfishly can’t - won’t - allow that to happen.
“If you do that, I’m definitely out,” I say, adamantly.
She sighs again before she asks, “What is it you want from me? I’m trying to do what’s best for everyone by giving this contract to someone else.”
I pause...
I already knew the answer before she asked it.
“I want that night back,” I whisper through the sudden need taking over my body.
I know it’s selfish of me to say
this to her, but the thoughts of him touching her, doing all the things that I yearn to do...
It’s overwhelming me.
I hear her short, swift inhale. I know she wants it too. I can feel it. It doesn’t matter that she’s on the phone, I can still feel the draw to her.
“I know it can’t happen – shouldn’t happen, but I can’t seem to stop wondering what would have happened if I’d stayed,” I confess.
Silence deepens between us.
Finally, Cass admits in a whisper, “I sometimes wonder as well.”
My heart races and I squeeze my eyes shut tightly. My hand wraps tightly around my phone, needing to hold onto something tangible. I want to tell her that I’m on the way, that I’m picking her up and we are going to run away. Away from Sharon, from Tyler, and focus only on exploring what this is between us.
To give us another chance.
“But we have others to think about,” I hear her continue after she lightly clears her throat. “I can’t do this Borden. I can’t fight to keep you away every day that I have to work with you. If we can’t agree to keep this professional, to keep the past in the past, I’ll have no other choice only to resign from this contract despite your threat to break it, which will get neither of us anywhere other than you in a legal battle with Your 15 Minutes’,” Cass says in a voice that is pleading, yet firm.
I open my eyes and stare at the wall.
How many ways does she have to tell me that she has moved on, remind me that I’ve moved on, that I need to let the past go because she already has?
“Borden, about next weekend...” I hear Cass continue in a now hoarse voice.
I know what she is about to say. That she wants me to cancel, but I sadistically can’t let her do that. I want - no- need to be around her, even if it means watching her with someone else. Forcing my voice to work correctly, I reply hastily, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
I quickly disconnect, not trusting myself, close to becoming that person who would throw away his morals for just a night to be with the one girl who seems to have ensnared me.
Tossing my phone angrily onto the sofa, I sit and place my head in my hands. I know I should cancel next weekend, I know I should listen to what Cass said. It would be best for everyone.
Book Two: Inescapable, #2 Page 9
