by Bella J.
Break my word.
I tugged at my jacket sleeves. “It’s a pity you know, the fact that your last option was to hand yourself over to me on a silver platter, bargaining a deal without the security of even one witness. Some would call that stupidity,” I shrugged, “brave even. But you know what I call it?” I swung around and felt the sharp blade of the hidden knife I had up my sleeve jab through Mancuso’s head, slicing straight through his temple, cracking through bone. “I call it karma.”
His mouth popped open, eyes wide, and blood seeping from the wound. I forced the blade deeper, burying it to the hilt in his skull.
In slow motion, I witnessed Mancuso’s lifeless body drop to the ground. I had never known satisfaction as I did at that moment, his blood staining the tiled floor. Finally, justice had been done. Not for me. Not for my sister. Not for my brother or father.
But for her. The woman who had imprinted herself on my soul.
Doe.
Lucio stepped in next to me, staring at Mancuso’s corpse, slack-jawed. “My mind is officially fucking blown.”
The seriousness of it all came crashing down on me like a boulder of shit. I turned to face him. “No one can ever know about this, Lucio.”
Confused, he narrowed his eyes. “What?”
“You listen to me.” I moved closer, my shoulders squared, my stance nothing short of sheer resolve. “What happened here tonight does not leave this room. No one can ever know.”
“Antonio, Doe is a Mancuso. Do you not think she deserves to know who she really is?”
“She deserves peace.”
He pulled his palm down his face. “Cousin, I get that. I do. And believe me, I love seeing this fucker bleed all over our goddamn floor. But besides the fact that we’ve been hunting this son of a bitch for fuck knows how long, and the rest of the family deserving to know that he was finally dead…bro, he was Doe’s father. You just killed Doe’s father.”
My gaze never left his. “I killed our enemy. I killed Doe’s father…but I also killed the man who sold her into a world that ruined her.”
Lucio stilled, his face as pale as a ghost. “Fuck me sideways.”
I grabbed the back of his head and pulled him closer, pressing my forehead against his. “Promise me, cousin. Promise me that what happened here will remain between us. Promise me you will take this to your grave.” I was so fucking desperate to keep Doe from finding out that not only did her father have her mother killed, but he was the angel who sold her to the devil—and I was ready to murder my own goddamn cousin if he didn’t agree.
He took my hand in his, the wolves tattooed at the top of our hands sealing our bond as we closed our fists. “I swear to you on my life, cousin. I will take this to my grave.”
I let out a sigh of relief. I knew Lucio could have been trusted with what would be the biggest secret I would ever keep. But no matter what happened, I would make sure Doe never found out. Never.
“What happens now?” Lucio tucked his gun back into his pants while I wiped Mancuso’s blood off my fingers.
After tossing the bloodstained cloth to the ground, I straightened my suit jacket and turned my back on the corpse lying on the floor. “Now we go fuck up some Russians.”
PROLOGUE
Doe
I had suffered some of the worst torments, experienced the most unspeakable horrors any woman—any girl could endure. But somehow, somewhere, hidden within my soul was a tiny speck of humanity which remained untouched, protected. The evil of the world which swallowed me whole couldn’t reach it; even I wasn’t aware it existed. It was only when I met him that I realized there was a piece of me which wasn’t ruined. It wasn’t destroyed or mutilated by pain and fear, or scathed by the flames of hell that burned my flesh every day since I was ten years old.
It was only when he claimed me and made me his own that I discovered this tiny part of me which was untouched and unsullied, pure and beautiful enough to give to any man who demanded more than what my body alone could offer.
Antonio opened my eyes to a whole new world, making me see there was more to life than fearing every heartbeat and dreading every breath. But he was no hero, no knight in shining armor. And I was no princess, no beautiful damsel in distress who longed for her own happily ever after. I had my own demons to conquer, like Antonio had his own darkness he needed to fight.
He wasn’t perfect, and neither was I, but together we were the most perfect imperfection. We didn’t need the light while we walked through the shadows, embracing the darkness side by side. For the first time in my life, I didn’t long for the light, just as long as he stayed with me in the blackness of night. And the longer I remained with him, felt him beside me chasing away all my fears, the more I started to hope, the more I started to lose myself to the dream of having something more. Hope started to seep in through the cracks, slowly mending the broken pieces of me. And even though I knew it was dangerous and irresponsible of me to allow it, I couldn’t stop it. I couldn’t stop it from growing.
For most of my life, I knew that if I allowed just the tiniest bit of hope to take root deep inside my heart, it would be my ultimate downfall. Hope would be the one good thing that would ruin me, destroy me, and in the end…bury me.
I was right.
Chapter 1
Antonio
This was a huge risk. I knew that. And it was unlike me to take such a risk—especially when it came to her. But I had no choice. Even though it felt like my heart was about to explode, my chest tight with worry just thinking about what could go wrong, I knew this was something we had to do.
I turned to face her. “You okay?”
She tugged at the ends of her dark hair hanging down her left shoulder, the blindfold still intact. “I trust you.”
Three words. Three goddamn words that had the power to disarm a mean motherfucker like me within a second.
I reached out, taking her hand in mine. Every trace of the girl we found in the back of a container—dirty, filthy, scared, starved—was busy disappearing. Her cheeks seemed fuller now, her hips curvier. Overall, Doe was just fucking beautiful.
“You look gorgeous.” It was the fucking truth.
She let go of her hair and placed her hand in her lap, clutching the blue fabric of her dress between her fingers. “Karina bought me a few more of these dresses. I told her it was your favorite.”
“You know,” I looked down at the soft material that fell just above her knees, “even though I really fucking love the fact that you’re wearing these dresses to please me,” my gaze swept up to her beautiful face, “I want you to get things that you like too.”
Her lips curved at the edges. “I like to please you, Antonio.”
There was no way I could stop my chest from swelling like a goddamn peacock. I fucking loved the fact that everything she did was all about pleasing me, but I knew the best thing for her was to start acknowledging the woman inside her. She had to figure out who she was without a master, without an owner…without a man. But until then, I would just soak it all up and revel in her undeniable urge to please me because deep down, I was still the selfish bastard I was the day I found her.
Gently, I placed my other palm on her cheek, guiding her to turn my way. “Are you ready for this?”
She nodded while biting her bottom lip. It was clear as fucking daylight that she was nervous. And why wouldn’t she be? She had been held prisoner for more than half her life. Of course something like this would make her nervous—especially while blindfolded.
I leaned over and pushed my lips against hers. I wanted to kiss the worry right out of her. I didn’t want her to feel nervous about anything. There was no way in hell I’d ever let anything happen to her, and I needed her to know that as a fucking fact. I kissed her, letting my feelings for her flow from my core, through my kiss and into her. My tongue swept through her mouth, tasting the peppermint and lingering sweetness of the strawberries she had for dessert. It was her favorite. Strawberries. Every day, I w
ould get someone from our kitchen staff to go buy a fuck-load of fresh strawberries just for her. I even ordered them to prepare dishes and bake everything there was to make with strawberries…just for her. Everything I fucking did was for her.
With a soft moan and a reluctant retreat, I inched back, our lips no longer locked together. “I won’t let anything happen to you. You know that, right?”
She nodded, her tongue lapping up what was left of our kiss from her lips. “Like I said, I trust you.”
My heart wanted to fucking explode hearing her say that. It was still so surreal, knowing that a woman like her, someone that had been through what she had, trusted me with so much. Her body. Her mind. And hopefully…her heart. There was such a thin line that separated me from the men who had hurt her in the most unimaginable ways. The scars of her ruin were still painted across the skin of her back, over the soft skin of her hands. And her mutilated ear was one giant reminder of what she had been through. Yet here she was, telling me that she trusted me. It wasn’t something I deserved, her trust, but by God, I would do everything in my fucking power to never make her regret it.
I took her hand in mine. “Promise me that whatever happens tonight, you will remember that you trust me. Promise me.”
A smile with the power to tame any beast spread across her beautiful face. “I promise.”
My heart pounded. My spine was all fucking tingly. And needless to say, my cock was rock hard and ready to fill her tiny body. Yeah…like Lorik would say, pussy-whipped. I was totally, utterly, and completely pussy-whipped. An Italian mobster, and his beautiful, broken girl.
“Okay.” I smiled just as someone tapped on the driver side window. I didn’t flinch. I knew who it was.
As I rolled down the window, Lucio’s face came into view. “Cousin.”
He grinned. “Is everything in place?
“Yup. Just like we planned.”
“Did you scout the area?”
“Thrice. Is that a word?”
I shook my head. “Yes, dumbass. That’s a word.”
“Then why are you calling me a dumbass?”
“You’re a dumbass for not knowing it’s a fucking word.”
He tapped his hand on the roof of my car. “Ready when you are.”
I turned to face Doe. “Stay in the car until I open the door for you.”
“Okay.” Nervously, she fisted her hands together.
“Is there something wrong?”
“No, nothing’s wrong. I just thought…”
“What? You thought what?”
She sucked her bottom lip into her mouth. “I just didn’t think—”
“That I would let you go out into the world? You’re not a prisoner, Doe. This”—I gestured between us as if she could see me—“this thing between us is nothing like what you had with Vadik, or any of the other sick fucks that hurt you.” I took her chin between my fingers and pulled her face up toward mine. “Believe me, this isn’t easy for me. If I had my way, I’d have you locked in a padded room until I’ve managed to put a bullet in Vadik’s skull. But,” I gently pressed my lips against hers, “I know you need this more than I need you behind a locked door.”
I stared at her for a few seconds longer before she finally gave me a slight nod. My broken girl needed to fly; she just needed her wings. And tonight was the first step toward her getting those goddamn wings.
I got out, scanned the area to see if Lucio and his men were all in place, then rounded my Audi to open her door. She turned her face toward me, and even though I couldn’t see her eyes, I knew if I had to stare into her dark irises, I would see the fear and uncertainty she was feeling. It was always there, in her eyes, everything she felt.
“It’s okay,” I assured her then reached out to take her hand. “I won’t let you go.”
Her hand trembled in mine, and the uncertainty written on her face was heartbreaking to witness. I hated it. But it was time.
She straightened, and behind the blindfold, she was searching for me. The cool autumn breeze wafted through her dark hair, the chill in the air causing her to shudder. If I had my way, it would have been the perfect summer night, but the seasons were changing almost as fast as the man inside me. With every passing day, I could feel my heart, my soul, and everything in between evolving. I was turning into the man Doe needed me to be, and I wouldn’t want it any other way.
I placed my hand on her cheek. “I got you. I won’t ever let go.”
She leaned into my touch, closing her eyes. It was heartwarming to know that a woman who had been through what she had welcomed my touch.
I glanced over her shoulder, and Lucio gave me the all-clear with a single nod. Every security measure had been put in place in order for this to go down. There was a nervous tug inside my stomach just thinking about the risk we were taking, but it had to be done.
Gently, I folded my fingers between hers, holding her hand tight in mine. Looking down at her feet, I smiled. “Ready?”
She sucked in a breath and nodded.
“Walk with me.” She slowly put one foot in front of the other while I guided her. The way she clutched my hand told me how nervous she was. “Just a few more steps. We’re almost there.”
Her heart-shaped lips were slightly parted, and I could see she was trying her best to just breathe. Maybe the blindfold wasn’t necessary, but I wanted her to experience it before she saw it.
“Stop.” I tightened my hold on her hand.
She stilled and leaned her head to the side. “That sound.” She paused. Listening. “It sounds familiar, but I can’t…I can’t place it.”
I moved in behind her, placing my arms around her waist. “One more step,” I urged softly.
She was breathing rapidly, her body trembling against mine. And then she took that final step. Her bare foot touched the sand, and I heard her suck in a breath. “Oh, my God,” she whispered. “Is that…” Her toes moved, digging deeper. “Is that…”
I pulled the blindfold off. “Open your eyes, Doe.”
All it took was one second, one breath to turn this moment into a memory that would last forever.
Chapter 2
Doe
A soft gasp escaped my lips when I saw the scene in front of me. For a moment I was sure I had stepped out of reality and right into a dream. It was beautiful.
“Antonio,” I whispered, unable to find my voice. “It’s…it’s…”
“How long has it been?”
“Years.” I took a deep breath. “It’s been years since I…since I’ve seen the ocean.”
Antonio tightened his hold around my waist. “Now you know why I insisted you come barefoot.”
I heard the smile in his voice then glanced down at my naked toes, digging them deeper into the sand. It felt strange, yet familiar as memories of my childhood returned. My mom used to take me to the beach every Sunday. It was our thing. Every Sunday, we spent what she called “quality time” together since she was always working long hours during the week. I missed that.
Tears started to sting my eyes, sadness threatening to pull me from the most perfect moment I had ever had in my entire life. I clenched my jaw, trying to fight the tears. But it was impossible to do. This moment was just too perfect.
He settled his chin on my shoulder. “Tell me what you’re feeling. What you’re thinking.”
“The sound of the waves crashing. I remember it.” I wiped a tear from my cheek. “It’s beautiful, Antonio. It’s more than beautiful. There are just no words…no words to describe what I’m feeling right now.”
He placed a soft kiss just below my ear. “That’s exactly how I feel whenever I look at you. There are no words to describe how I feel about you, Doe.”
More tears escaped, my heart threatening to rip through my chest.
“You see how bright the moon shines?” The warmth of his breath mixed with the chill of the autumn breeze. “You see how the light scatters on the ocean, making it seem like diamonds drifting between the ri
pples? That’s us, Doe. You and me.”
“How? How is that us?”
His lips brushed across my shoulders, his hand coming up my front, fingers wrapping lightly around my throat. “Without the moon, the ocean is merely a river of black, storming waves.” His fingers tightened slightly around my neck. “Without the light of the moon, the ocean is nothing but a dark void in the distance. It’s the moonlight that turns its darkness into something beautiful…just like you turned mine into something less…ugly.” His grip laced tighter around my throat, and I closed my eyes, my body climbing higher as my lungs started to burn. Warm lips sucked on my earlobe, teeth nipping the flesh. “And without the ocean’s lack of beauty in the dark, the moon would have nothing to shine on.”
I closed my eyes. “Why do you say such beautiful things to me, Antonio? I’m not worth—”
He spun me around abruptly, and his lips crashed against mine. Fire and ice, that was what it felt like—his kiss forcing the flames through the ice in my veins. It was like that every time he kissed me. I’d grown addicted to it, loving the adrenaline that rushed from my heart straight through my entire body. What was happening between us? I didn’t know. I didn’t want to know. All I wanted was for it to never end, to never lose this feeling of hope that suddenly bloomed inside my chest, and it was all because of one man. Antonio. My master…only he was turning in to something so much more than that. And by the way his kiss devoured my lips, I was starting to think he felt the same. I hoped.
He pulled back, a soft whimper escaping me. “Don’t ever finish that goddamn sentence, do you understand me?” The dark brown, earthy tones of his irises gleamed under the moonlight as he searched my face. “Do not even finish that sentence inside your head. You are worth more than you’ll ever know, and I’ll spend my entire goddamn life to show you exactly how much you’re worth…to me.”
