by Bella J.
Every ounce of the woman inside me melted as his words slammed against my chest. My heart thudded against my ribs, my core filled with a feeling I’d never experienced before. It felt light and heavy at the same time. Overwhelming, yet serene. There was nothing I could compare it to, no words to describe it. All I knew was it felt…good.
He took a step closer, his body flush against mine. “I meant what I said, Doe. I’m not letting go. No matter what happens. I’m. Not. Letting. Go.”
This time I kissed him. I pushed myself up on my toes, wanting to feel his lips against mine, the woman in me becoming bold and greedy. It was strange, thinking about the woman in me, about what she wanted. Up until now I’d never even acknowledged her, or thought about her in such a way, as if she had her own will. It was daunting, but I was starting to like it.
With rapid breaths and racing hearts, we broke our kiss still leaning into each other. The soft breeze and black midnight sky paired together with the touch and kiss of the man who changed my entire world turned this moment into a memory I would cherish forever.
He turned me back to look at the ocean in front of us. “Even though I want to give you the world right now, I can’t. Not until Va—”
“Don’t,” I interrupted. “Don’t ruin this moment by saying his name. I get it. I understand.”
“Do you?”
I nodded, my gaze never leaving the gleaming sea, and leaned back against him. “Thank you for this, Antonio.”
He tightened his hold around my waist. “I promise the day will come when I’ll be able to give you this and so much more without carrying any kind of risk. But first, I need to make what happened to you right. I need to make every bastard who touched you atone for hurting you. And I will. I swear to God, Doe, I will…even if it’s the last thing I do.”
For a brief second, I closed my eyes, knowing exactly what his words meant. Antonio was going to kill him. He was going to kill all of them, and oddly enough, the thought didn’t horrify me. The thought of Antonio killing for me didn’t scare me. In fact, I liked it. I wanted him to do it, to eliminate the threat so in the end he could give me the world.
For the first time in my life, I chose to believe, I chose to trust in the words of a man. Why? Because this man didn’t just own my body…he owned my heart as well.
Chapter 3
Antonio
I couldn’t stop looking at her, the way she walked around the garden, inspecting, touching, and smelling every flower like she had never seen one before. It seemed as if she was committing it all to memory in fear that she would never have this chance again. The amazement on her face and the wonder in her dark brown eyes spoke volumes, telling a tale of a woman who had been deprived of even the smallest beauty in such an ugly world all her life.
With bare feet and wearing a floral skater dress, Doe walked from one flower to the other, but she never wandered too far away from me. Every now and then, I would glance down at her feet and notice how her toes moved over the grass, how she pushed her heel deeper into the dirt, as if she wanted to feel everything there was to feel and use every one of her senses as much as possible, for as long as possible. After our night at the beach, she seemed different, as if she had finally realized she no longer wanted to merely exist…she wanted to live.
It was beautiful, this scene she created of innocent beauty, experiencing life for the very first time. And I loved the fact that I was the one who could give this to her, that I was the one who had the power to give it all to her. When it came to Doe, I was the most selfish son of bitch on the planet. I hardly ever left her side in fear that I might miss a moment, or the chance to see her grow from the scared girl we found in the container to the confident woman I knew she could be. I knew this because somehow she was strong enough to tame me. She took the darkness in me and made it her light, and now my entire life revolved around making sure she never had to suffer in the darkness again, but rather thrive in it.
That was why what I had planned for her was crucial if I wanted her to finally realize in order to get over her past, she needed to embrace it. Accept it. Conquer it. It was the only way. But it also had the potential to backfire and fuck up all the progress we’d managed to make so far. It was risky, but it had to be done if I wanted my innocent Doe to become the strong woman I knew she was meant to be—especially since I knew whose blood ran through her veins.
Finding out that Doe was Stefano Mancuso’s bastard child, and that he was the one who destroyed her life by selling her into slavery, was like a tale out of a fucking horror movie. Never in a million years did I think this shit with Mancuso had gone so deep. But the sick fuck got what he deserved…my blade in his skull. Now what was left of his corpse was swimming with the goddamn fish, and it was only Lucio and me who knew about it—about everything. The night I sent Mancuso’s soul to hell, Lucio and I swore to never talk about what happened that night ever again. Doe would never know the truth about who the angel was who saved her only to send her to a hell that, to me, was far worse than death. She would never who her father was, and the rest of my family would never know that our arch-enemy now burned alongside Lucifer himself.
A flock of birds flew over above us, and Doe stared up in wonder. I just kept my eyes on her, staring at the beauty she exuded. It had been like this ever since the dynamic between us changed. Everything changed when I finally allowed myself to feel more, to look at her and not feel guilty for wanting her, for claiming her and making her mine. Her innocence and the way it seemed as if she was experiencing the world for the first time—it mesmerized me. She mesmerized me. I never would have thought the scared, filthy, broken girl I found at Boston Harbor would end up meaning so much to me.
She brushed her long hair over her left shoulder, covering her scarred ear. “I’m making a fool of myself, aren’t I?”
I frowned. “What? No. Why would you say that?”
“I’m acting like a little girl in a twenty-year-old’s body.” She blushed, shame turning her cheeks pink.
I stepped closer and reached out to her hair, pushing it back so I could see the scar. “Don’t be ashamed of what those sons of bitches stole from you, Doe.”
She leaned her head to the side, pulling her shoulder up as if trying to cover her marred ear. “You have so much beauty surrounding you, yet you choose to keep my ugliness so close to you as well.”
“Don’t.” My hand slipped from her hair to her chin, my fingers pressing around her jaw as I forced her to look at me. “Do not think for one second that I see anything but perfection when I look at you.”
She shook her head lightly. “I don’t understand how you—”
“You don’t have to understand.” I gripped her jaw tighter as I stepped up, towering over her. “You don’t have to understand anything when it comes to me and what you are to me. All you have to understand is that you’re mine, and to me, you are the most beautiful woman in this entire goddamn world.” My lips found hers with a desperate kiss, my grip on her jaw tightening even more. Soft, full, warm rounds of flesh pressed against mine, our tongues finding each other, demanding to taste the sweetness of such a simple, yet powerful act of passion. Every time I kissed her, I wanted it to last forever. It was my new addiction—she was my new addiction.
“Ahem.” Someone cleared his throat behind us, and by the annoyance that suddenly tickled the back of my skull, I knew exactly who it was.
Reluctantly, I broke our kiss, pulling my lips from hers. “What is it, Lorik?”
“You two are making the hydrangeas blush.”
I rolled my eyes. “They’re already pink.”
“Exactly.”
I spun around and glared at my soon-to-be brother-in-law. “Would you like both your arms in a sling? Because I could shoot you.”
Lorik pointed toward the white fabric wrapped around his injured shoulder. “This is proof that not even a bullet can kill me. I’m unkillable.”
I frowned. “That’s not even a word.”
; “It is now.”
I pulled my palm down my face. “The longer you’re out of the hospital, the more I regret praying for your ass.”
“You prayed for me?” He placed his hand on his chest, looking all touched and shit. “Antonio, brother…I didn’t realize I meant that much to you.”
I let out a breath. “What do you want, Lorik?”
“Karina sent me to get you. Dinner is ready.”
“Tell her we’ll be up in a bit.”
“Oh, no. No, no, no, no. If I don’t take you two back with me, that feisty Italian fireball will be all up my ass.” He gestured toward me and Doe. “You are coming with me.”
Placing my hands on my hips, I opened my mouth to tell Lorik off, but then Doe softly wrapped her fingers around my arm, and I turned my gaze down to her next to me.
“It’s okay, Antonio. I am kind of…hungry.”
Hungry? Well, that was it, then. Hearing my woman was hungry settled the matter immediately. Even though her eating habits had improved, she still needed to gain a few more pounds toward a healthy weight.
I wrapped my arm around her tiny waist. “If my woman is hungry, then she needs to be fed.”
Her cheeks flushed a beautiful pink, and I loved it. I loved how innocent her shyness was. There was no sign of an overconfident woman hiding behind the façade of being shy simply because men found it attractive. Her being shy was pure, beautiful…real.
“Come on.” I guided her with my arm around her waist, the cotton fabric of her dress pressed against my palm.
Lorik smirked as we passed him, leaning in closer to me. “One word, brother. Pussy-whipped.”
“Two words, Lorik. Two words.”
“Oh, no. When it comes to you and her, it’s one big-ass fucking word.”
All I could do was shake my head with a grin tugging at the ends of my mouth. Even though his Albanian ass had the natural talent to annoy and piss me off, deep down I was so fucking grateful that bullet didn’t end up sending him to the grave. For some reason, his amusing arrogance and misplaced humor were growing on me.
We made our way up the stairs and onto the patio, finding Karina and Lucio placing dishes and plates on the table. Karina glanced up at us and smiled. “I hope you don’t mind having dinner outside. Since autumn has already started, I reckon we need to take advantage of beautiful evenings like these.”
“I don’t mind at all.” I pulled out a chair for Doe, and her gaze shot up to mine. Even though we came to a mutual understanding that night in the bathroom when I allowed her to take control, she still struggled with the idea of freedom. Given that she had been a slave half her life, it was understandable. And I’d be a lying son of a bitch if I said there wasn’t a part of me that liked the way she sought my permission with every glance my way. How she would constantly look for me whenever we were between other people, searching for my guidance and my approval with everything she did.
But it was different. At least, that was what I tried to tell myself. That she wasn’t doing it out of fear, but rather because she wanted to please me—yearned to please me with everything she did. Even though, at first, I was drawn to the fear in her eyes whenever she looked at me, I no longer liked to think that she was afraid of me, of what I might do to her. Just more proof of how the dynamic between us had changed. How that one night when I lost it and almost broke her completely ended up saving us both.
I gave her a warm smile and a slight nod before she finally sat down and allowed me to be a gentleman by letting me push back her chair. With my hands on her shoulders, I leaned down and placed a soft kiss on the nape of her neck, savoring the sweet scent of vanilla. I didn’t care that all eyes were on us, that the rest of my family witnessed how I felt about Doe. It was weird for everyone at first, seeing how affectionate I was toward her and not caring who was around to watch. The truth was, I didn’t give a shit who thought what when it came to Doe and me. Doe was my woman now, and since the night I made the decision to stop fighting my feelings for her, I no longer cared about anything as much as I cared about her. So Lorik could crack all the jokes he wanted. Lucio could cock his brow in question a thousand times while I flaunted the unorthodox relationship between me and Doe. I didn’t give a flying fuck.
“So,” Karina sat down at the table and started to pass the dishes around, “I spoke to Layla today. She says Dante is miserable.” She shot me a sideways glance. “He wants to be here, at home…with us.”
I took a sip from my bourbon. “That’s unfortunate. One would think since he’s with his family, he would be happy.”
“We are his family.”
“So are Layla and Rafe, and they are more important. I won’t let him risk everything by being here while this whole thing with Va—” Immediately, I stopped myself before I completed that sentence, and from the corner of my eye, I saw Doe pause just as she took the bowl of salad from Karina. The faint blush on her cheeks paled instantly, and the way she placed the salad back down, I knew she’d lost her appetite. Goddammit.
I reached out over the table and took her hand in mine, squeezing it lightly.
Karina took it upon herself to place a few spoonsful of salad in Doe’s plate. “I know our current situation isn’t ideal, but maybe you should consider having Dante around as extra muscle and brain power.”
“No.” I let go of Doe’s hand.
Karina glowered at me. “Antonio, they both want to come back home. The only thing keeping them from doing so is you. Why?”
“It’s too dangerous for Layla and Rafe to be here, and a father’s place is with his family. And even though we are all Dante’s family, we are in a situation where a choice needs to be made, and I won’t let Dante carry the burden of making that decision. So,” I cut the knife through the steak on my plate, “I made the decision for him. Easy as that.”
I started to eat, conveying the message that this discussion was over. Dante was where he needed to be—with his woman and his child. It was killing him to not be here with us; I knew that. But I couldn’t let him choose between us and his new family. It wasn’t right. Being with Layla and Rafe was.
Silence ensued around the table—uncomfortable silence. I looked up only to notice why everyone was so eerily quiet.
“Doe,” I said softly, but she didn’t look up. “Doe.” I placed my hand over hers. “You can eat.” Her eyes met mine, and I nodded, urging her to eat her dinner. My permission to do certain things was still something she required, and I often wondered if she would ever be able to move past it, to live without constantly looking for approval. A part of me hoped she would, but another piece of me hoped she wouldn’t. God, it was complicated.
Her teeth moved across her bottom lip, and I could practically see the battle raging inside her mind. It was because I mentioned him. Her old master. The devil who made it clear he wouldn’t rest until he had his precious, broken girl back. Lucio and I were the only people who knew why she was so precious to him, just another secret we kept to ourselves in order to protect Doe. There was no telling what she would have done if she knew what she carried around in her. If she knew she had a piece of Vadik’s life stuck inside her flesh, it would probably catapult her over the edge. She was too vulnerable, too bruised to know exactly how close Vadik really was. I hoped tonight would play out the way I imagined it, and it would make her stronger. But for her to rise out of the ashes, I needed to break her first.
Lucio and I gave each other knowing glances. My cousin was the only man who knew the lengths I would go to for this woman. I broke my word to protect her—and a Valenti’s word was his bond. Basically, I fucked our family name in the ass by giving Mancuso my word then breaking it by killing a man who posed no threat to us. A man who came to me with a white flag raised in surrender, giving me information in exchange for a truce. But after I found out about him and what he had done to his own flesh and blood, there was no way in hell I had the self-control to let him go unpunished. So that was what I did.
I punished
him. I killed him…and no one would ever know. Now it was up to me to make sure his daughter become the queen she was meant to be.
Chapter 4
Doe
He was coming for me. I knew he would. It was only a matter of time. Antonio had tried his best to reassure me I was safe here, with him. And by the amount of muscle constantly around us—around me—I was certain he was trying his best. But Antonio didn’t know Master V. He didn’t know the cruelty and the pure evil that pulsed through that man’s veins. Not a day went by that I didn’t think of him, fear the hour when he would finally reclaim me. But for the sake of my own sanity, I chose to live in the moment the best I could. It was hard adjusting from prisoner to welcome guest, and I often failed in acting as though I were no longer a slave girl who had no choice or rights when it came to anything. Even after our night at the beach, the promise Antonio made me to avenge my ruin, I still couldn’t let go of the past. All this time spent with the Valenti family, I still found myself wanting and needing Antonio’s permission for everything I did.
Why? Why, when Antonio encouraged me to be my own person, did I still want his approval, like a fucking dog with is owner? But luckily, Antonio understood. He knew it was difficult for me to switch off the slave after it had been beaten and abused into me. Whenever we sat at the dinner table with the rest of the family, I would glance at him, and he would give me a subtle nod, granting me permission to eat. Not because he demanded it, but because I still needed it. I wondered if I would ever be able to let go of the slave girl I had become so I could live a normal life.
Normal. I had never known…normal. And I wasn’t sure if I’d ever be able to pull off normal.
After dinner, Antonio insisted we take another stroll through the garden. He knew how much I loved to be outside in the fresh air, free. For most of my life, I had been caged, imprisoned between four walls. Now I wanted to grasp every opportunity to roam free without the shackles of slavery around my feet. And while I strolled through the garden, smelling the scented air in the evening breeze, I tried to forget about my past, and about the threat still hanging like a scarlet letter around my neck.
