The Cowgirl's Sacrifice

by Tina Radcliffe

“As a special favor to his favorite almost nephew, he’s going to fit you in at the end of the day. I gave him Dr. Bowie’s phone number so your records can be sent over.”

  “Today?”

  “Yeah, today. He says to bring your lab work and any imaging results you have.” Jess looked at her. “You have that stuff?”

  “Oh, I have plenty of that stuff. I could wallpaper a restroom with my paperwork.”

  Jess shook his head. Of course she did, and if he hadn’t stepped in today, she would’ve avoided the neurology consult forever.

  “Why are you looking at me like that?” she asked.

  “We can discuss it later.” He glanced at his watch. “You have time to shower before we head out. I’ll pick you up at your house in thirty minutes.”

  “I—”

  “Thirty minutes, Kate. I pulled in a big favor here.”

  “Okay, fine. I’ll go, but I don’t need anyone to take me.”

  “Either I take you, or I chat with Mitch.”

  Though Kate’s eyes rounded with outrage, it gave him little pleasure to win this small battle. It was the right thing to do. He told himself he was doing it only for the Rainbolts, and he almost believed that was the truth.

  “You’ve gotten a lot more stubborn in the last ten years,” she huffed. “Mean-spirited too.”

  “That’s because I’m no longer a love-struck kid following you around.” He grimaced. It pained him that Willard was right in his assessment. Ten years ago, he’d been so in love he hadn’t been able to see beyond that. If he had, he would have realized that Kate had given him plenty of warnings. She’d told him she wanted to find her father and nothing would stand in her way. Not even him.

  Too late, he’d found out that she’d meant what she said.

  That wouldn’t happen this go-round.

  An hour and a half later, they were in Broken Arrow, Oklahoma, and he was cooling his heels in the lobby of Uncle Bobby’s office. After Kate’s name was called, he left and drove over to the Bass Pro Shop Outdoor World and wandered around until she texted that she was done.

  Kate was waiting on the sidewalk when he pulled the truck into a parking spot. He got out and opened the passenger door.

  “That didn’t take long,” she said with a chipper smile. “Ready to head back?”

  Jess jumped into the driver’s seat and faced her. “Nice try. We had a deal. You tell me what Uncle Bobby said, and I’ll maybe keep my mouth shut.”

  “Fine. No bullfighting.”

  “Well, lookee there, I’m not the only one who doesn’t think jumping in front of bulls is a smart move.”

  “Maybe you should have been a doctor.”

  He paused at the stinging words. “That was a low blow. Even for you, Kate.”

  “I’m so sorry.” Eyes downcast, she released a breath. “I wasn’t referring to your dad. It was a randomly rude comment, and I apologize.”

  “Apology accepted. What else did Uncle Bobby say?”

  “He did another CT and looked at the MRI results from Tucson. No change in the fracture.”

  “And horseback riding?”

  “Once the cast is off, he’ll okay me to ride Einstein if I use full safety precautions and schedule vestibular training.”

  “Vestibular? Meaning?”

  “Something to do with the inner ear. There’s a therapist in Pawhuska he recommended, so I won’t need to drive to Tulsa.”

  “That’s all?”

  “He mentioned getting plenty of sleep and increasing breaks when I’m working on the computer.”

  A silence settled between them as Jess digested the words.

  “You have to tell your brothers,” he finally said.

  “There’s nothing to tell.” She shrugged. “The doctor said it should resolve with therapy. Until there is evidence to the contrary, I’m fine.”

  Fine. Kate’s mantra.

  “And what about returning to the rodeo?”

  She released a breath. “Yes, well, he recommends against any sport that is high risk for repeat concussion. He thinks I’ve likely been concussed before, and the risk of TBI is high.”

  “TBI?”

  “Traumatic brain injury.”

  Traumatic brain injury. Jess was stunned and stared at Kate, waiting for her reaction. After all, she’d just been given a serious medical diagnosis and been told her career was over. But she only stared out the window, chin high.

  “You’re awfully calm about this,” he said.

  “Am I?” Kate turned toward him and toyed with the paperwork in her hands. “I guess it hasn’t really sunk in yet.” She paused. “One minute, I’m getting my blood pressure checked, and the next, I’m looking at a giant picture of my brain and Uncle Bobby is saying things like depression, anger, memory loss and suicidal ideation...” Her lashes fluttered closed for a moment, shielding her eyes as she released a slow breath.

  She was in shock, and he couldn’t blame her.

  “I’m sorry, Kate,” he said softly.

  “Not half as sorry as I am,” she murmured. “I thought I’d be falling down and getting up and rodeoing forever. That’s pretty silly, right? Thirty years old, and I’m back to wondering what I want to be when I grow up.”

  “It’s not silly. This is a lot to handle all at once.”

  She looked at him. “Stop being nice to me. I’ve been a total brat toward you.”

  “Yeah, you have. But I’m not holding it against you, because you’re dealing with some heavy stuff right now.”

  “That’s awfully mature of you.”

  He shrugged. “I’m a mature kind of guy.”

  Big blue eyes stared up at him, and it was all he could do not to hold her close.

  “You ready to head back to the ranch?” he asked.

  “No. Not yet,” she said. “Could we maybe go for a coffee?”

  Jess didn’t let himself think about the half dozen things he needed to attend to at the ranch. Instead, he nodded. “Sure.”

  “We passed one of those chains a block over. I could go for double something, high in caffeine and calories with a side of zero-nutritional-value pastries.”

  Jess laughed as the tension eased from him. “Let’s go.”

  He nursed a plain coffee while Kate chased the whipped cream in her plastic tumbler with a straw. She frowned the entire time, deep in thought.

  “You sure are quiet. Are you thinking about what Uncle Bobby said?”

  “Does it matter?”

  “Everything matters.”

  “I’m thinking that I don’t have a plan. For the first time in my life, I have no discernable direction.”

  “Don’t think about the rest of your life. Start small. How about Memorial Day? Got any plans for the three-day weekend? It’s coming up here soon.”

  “I’m supposed to go to Tucker’s new house on that Saturday. They’re hosting a little Memorial Day family thing, but I’m pretty sure I’m going to play hooky.” She looked at him. “What about you?”

  “Nothing much. Nicole and my mom are driving to Porter. My dad’s sister invited the family for a barbecue.”

  “And you’re going?”

  “I haven’t decided.” Wrapping his hands around his mug, he eyed Kate, unsure if he should pursue the topic but unable to resist. “What sort of playing hooky are you going to get into?”

  “Rodeo. What else?”

  He shook his head, disappointed with the answer. “You’ve spent your adult life at the rodeo.”

  “The thrill never fades. Besides, this one is special. It’s the Decker Stampede down Route 66. It’s held Memorial Day weekend.”

  “Yeah, I know. That’s been going on for like seventy years.”

  “Do you want to go with me? Maybe Sunday? If we can be friends, and maybe not snipe at each
other for a few hours, that is.”

  She was inviting him to spend the day with her? Jess mulled the offer, trying not to show surprise at the invitation. If he had a lick of sense, he’d say no. Trouble was, sense went out the door when it came to Kate.

  “Well?” she prompted.

  “I can’t promise about the sniping.” He looked at her. “But I’m willing to give it a shot.”

  A small smile lit up her face. “Great, because I don’t think I’m ready to face my family. They’ll grill me over whether or not I’m staying in Rebel or hitting the road again.” She sighed. “I have no idea what I’m going to do with the rest of my life. I’m a has-been rodeo cowgirl with nothing to show for my life but a cat, a horse and a disreputable truck.”

  “Kate, I could say the same thing. I’ve been working ten years on someone else’s ranch.” As the words slipped from his mouth, their truth sideswiped him. Were they in the same place?

  “Do you want your own ranch?” she asked.

  “I don’t know anymore. My plan was to work with my uncle, eventually buy into a partnership. Moving back to Oklahoma has shuffled my priorities. I don’t know what the future holds at this point.”

  “I guess we’ve both been thrown for a loop,” she said.

  Jess nodded.

  As if in silent agreement, they both stood. Depositing his cup in the trash, Jess led the way out the door.

  “At least you have a nice truck,” Kate said as they approached his dually. “Way nicer than mine.”

  “That I will agree with.” He opened the door for her. “Where did you get your rust bucket?”

  “I won her.” She smiled, really smiled, for the first time since he’d found her in Einstein’s stall. The sweet expression on her face made him long to keep her smiling.

  Jess got in the truck and pulled on his seat belt. “You won the truck?”

  “Yes. Not like in gambling. I literally won the truck. I was at a little rodeo in Houston and placed first in the barrel racing competition, but there wasn’t enough prize money, so they gave me the truck.”

  “That’s no prize.”

  “At the time, I was thrilled.”

  He wrapped his hands around the steering wheel and looked at her. Had they bridged the tension in their relationship today? Would she hear what he had to say without putting up walls again? “Let’s get serious here for a minute, Kate. When we get back to Rebel, you need to talk to your family.”

  “Jess, I am serious. You leveraged me into going to the neurologist and listened to me whine and then agreed to go to a rodeo with me. For that, I am grateful. But I don’t need another brother.”

  “I’m not applying for the job.” Nope. Far from it. Right now he was doing his best to fight feelings that were far, far from brotherly.

  “Good, and just so you know, I will continue to circumvent the truth in an effort to keep my brothers from further pain.”

  “Circumventing the truth is the cousin to lying, and you know I won’t lie.”

  “Jess, I am not telling them about this visit. Nor will you.” She sighed. “What happens in Jess’s truck stays in Jess’s truck. Couldn’t we go with that?”

  He bit back a laugh. This was pure Kate. Some things never changed. “I’ll think about it,” he said.

  “Think hard, please.”

  Oh, yeah, he’d be thinking hard. Thinking hard about why he’d gotten himself tangled up in her life again. Willingly. If he didn’t know better, he’d think he was the one who’d hit his head.

  * * *

  Kate listened to her voice mail and glanced at the calendar. Dr. Bowie’s office had confirmed her upcoming appointment for an X-ray and possible cast removal. Soon, she’d be a free woman.

  Maybe she’d plan a little celebration with Bella. Takeout from the Arrowhead Diner for herself and a can of highbrow cat food for Bella. The expensive, organic stuff with lots of gravy. Then they’d watch The Aristocats. Bella’s favorite movie.

  Her cell rang, and she reached for it, grinning when she saw it was Franny.

  “Kate, how you doing?”

  “Great. Absolutely great. I just found out my cast is coming off early if the X-ray says I’ve been a good bone knitter. So say a prayer for good knitting, will you?”

  “You’ve got it. This is the best news I’ve heard all week.”

  “Thanks, Franny.” She smiled. “It sure is nice to hear your voice. How’s Rex? What’s going on down in the panhandle?”

  “Nothing new with the husband. I’m getting a little cabin fever. Anxious to get back on the road before I do something foolish like clean the house.”

  “That could be dangerous.”

  “Right?” Franny chuckled. “Oh, and I lost another assistant. But what else is new? They see a bright shiny object or a handsome cowboy, and off they go into the sunset.”

  Kate laughed.

  “So what I guess I’m trying to say is that I have an opening in my crew. I need someone to take care of my horses on the road, manage the books. You know, the front-end work.”

  “You want to hire me?”

  “I thought it might be a way for you to ease back in. And if your cast is coming off soon, this sounds like perfect timing, right?”

  Kate sat down at the kitchen table, taken aback by the offer that had come on the heels of the neurologist’s diagnosis.

  Ease back in.

  Kate rolled the words around in her head. Did she want to ease back in to rodeo life, or would a clean break be better for her mental health? Being Franny’s assistant meant she’d still be part of the circuit, just not in the arena anymore.

  From barrel racing to riding the barrel to sitting in the bleachers. Quite a fall from grace. The ache in her heart at this turn of events hadn’t dulled since she’d seen the neurologist, but was this a door opening or a misstep?

  “You sure are thinking hard,” Franny said.

  “What sort of timeline are you talking about?” Kate asked.

  “We’d be pulling out of Texas in time to hit as many Christmas rodeos as possible.”

  “Early June. Franny, June is within spitting distance, my friend.”

  She laughed. “So it is. Now you see how muddled I am. Juggling everything has me unsure if I’m coming or going.”

  “I have a hoedown here at the ranch I’m committed to the weekend after Memorial Day.” Kate sighed.

  “Hey, hey, don’t stress this,” Franny said. “Tie things up. Pray on it.”

  “Yes. That’s exactly what I need to do.”

  “There’s a small local rodeo here in June. Maybe you could come down for a visit, and we can talk.”

  “I’ll call you, Franny. Promise.” Kate disconnected the phone and sat staring out the window. Normally, she’d be jumping at the opportunity. But now... Now her stomach was in knots. She had one boot in a past that would take her nowhere and the other in an uncertain future.

  Something touched her arm, and Kate looked down to see a gray paw patting her gently and big green eyes staring at her.

  Bella started walking down the hall. She paused and glanced back at Kate over her shoulder.

  “I’m coming. I’m coming.” Kate followed until Bella stopped in front of her food dish in the kitchen. Her empty food dish.

  Seriously? This was a smart cat.

  From the cupboard, Kate pulled a can of the wet food Tucker had recommended and opened it. She put half in the dish and mushed it around. Bella wasted no time digging in.

  Kate glanced around the kitchen, realizing she was hungry too. The Eagle Donuts box was empty, and the only cereal left was bran flakes. She pulled eggs from the fridge and heated a frying pan on the stove. Anyone could cook eggs. Right?

  Cracking two into a bowl was easy. Whipping them and holding the bowl with her arm in a long cast? Not so easy. Th
e only bread she had was in the freezer and hard as a rock, so she stuck it in the toaster and inched up the dial.

  When her phone rang, she turned and scooped it up from the kitchen table.

  “Hey, Kate, it’s Nicole. I am so sorry to bother you, but I can’t reach Jess. I’m pretty sure this is his weekend to work at the ranch.”

  “It is. He had a trail ride with some guests early today. Sometimes calls drop between the house and north pasture.”

  “Oh, I guess I’ll try again in a little bit. Thanks.”

  The tremor in Jess’s sister’s voice gave Kate pause. “Nicole? Is everything okay?”

  “I’m in the emergency room with my mother. She’s going to be admitted for IV fluids, and I hate to leave her, but I need to pick up Olive at a friend’s. She’s not feeling well.” Nicole sighed. “One of those days already.”

  “Oh, my. That’s not good,” Kate said. “I’d offer to get Olive, but I’m sure she’d rather have you there. Why don’t I come and sit with your mother?” It was the least she could do for a woman who’d done so much for the Rainbolts.

  “Are you sure?” Nicole asked.

  “Absolutely. Which hospital?”

  “Pawhuska Hospital. Her electrolytes are off, so they’re going to keep her overnight.”

  “Not a problem. I’ll head there now. You go ahead and get Olive.”

  “Thank you so much.”

  Kate searched in the dryer for matching socks and tugged them on before remembering the eggs on the stove. By then, the distinct smell of burning toast wafted into the laundry room.

  “No. No. No.” She raced into the kitchen, where a dark cloud ascended from the toaster toward the ceiling. When the smoke detector began to trill, Bella shot out of the room.

  “Coward,” Kate muttered. Unplugging the toaster, she dumped the contents into the soapy water in the sink before turning on the ceiling fan and cracking a window. She feared the appliance would never be the same again. A glance at the stove confirmed the demise of the eggs.

  For a moment, Kate stood in the kitchen, surveying the disaster before resetting the smoke detector. She grabbed a box of cookies from the cupboard, picked up her purse and headed out the door.

  By the time she arrived at the Pawhuska hospital, Susan McNally had been settled in a room. She sat up in bed with IV pumps on either side of her and smiled. “This line is my breakfast, and I think that one is lunch,” the older woman joked.