by Force, Marie
“What’s happened?” Hannah asked.
“You can tell them,” Noah said.
Grayson filled them in.
“Are you kidding me?” Hannah asked in the tone that used to make her children quake.
“Noah.” Brianna’s soft voice and gentle touch shattered him.
Noah didn’t want comfort from her or anyone. “I, uh… I have to go.”
“Where’re you going?” Grayson asked.
He had no idea. His house was full of siblings who’d want to talk about it. Noah didn’t want to talk about it. “I don’t know, but I’ve got to go.”
“Stay with me,” Brianna said. “We’ll figure it out.”
“No, we won’t. We won’t figure it out. We won’t figure out anything.”
Ignoring the stricken expression on her face and the pain it gave him to know he’d hurt her, he got up, grabbed his coat and left the house.
Grayson followed him, jumping into the passenger seat of his truck before Noah could drive off.
“Get out and go home, Gray,” he said. “I’m not going to kill her. You don’t need to babysit me.”
“I’m not babysitting you. Your place is full of Colemans. Go to my house. The guest room is all yours if you need a minute to yourself. Emma and Simone are at a Girl Scout thing tonight.”
After a long moment of silence, Noah asked his most pressing question. “How could she do this to me?”
“I don’t know. It’s an awful thing to do to anyone.”
“She used to tell me she loved me so much, more than anything.”
“It’s complete and total bullshit, and we’re going to get to the bottom of it, Noah. I promise.”
“What does getting to the bottom of it even entail? I have a son I didn’t know about for almost three years. How do I ever get back that time?”
“You don’t, but you can go forward from here.”
He sat staring blankly out the window for a long time before he noticed it was snowing. “Is she still with Miguel?”
“Yeah.”
“Great, so he’s raising my kid as his own. Just when I thought this situation couldn’t be any more fucked-up than it already was.” Rage made it almost impossible for Noah to process the implications. “She was never going to tell me.”
“Probably not.”
“She’s a fucking monster, as bad as Brianna’s ex-husband.”
“Maybe even worse.”
“How do you ever know that you’re with someone who won’t crush you?”
“When it’s the right one, you know.”
Noah shook his head. “I don’t believe that.”
“Don’t do this, Noah. You’ve started something great with Brianna. We’ve all seen there’s something special between the two of you. If you let Melinda ruin that for you, that’s just another thing she will have taken from you.”
Noah heard his brother’s words and even agreed with them, but he was so fucking furious that he couldn’t imagine ever trusting anyone outside of his own family ever again.
Even Brianna.
* * *
“I don’t know what to do for him,” Brianna said, feeling frantic after Noah left. Thankfully, Gray had gone after him. “What do we do?”
“We give him a minute to wrap his head around this news,” Hannah said. “And once he does, we’ll support him in the war he’ll wage with her over what she did to him.”
Cabot got up from the table and started clearing the dishes, taking them to the sink and rinsing them before loading the dishwasher. He made such a racket that they stopped talking to look at him.
“Cabot,” Izzy said. When he didn’t reply, she called to him again.
He stopped what he was doing and stood at the sink, shoulders bent forward, head down. “Sorry. Just brings it all back.”
Izzy reached out to Brianna, who was sitting next to her. “Help me up.”
Brianna stood and gave Izzy an arm up.
She moved slowly to where Cabot stood at the sink and put an arm around him.
“You shouldn’t be on your feet.”
“Shhh,” Izzy said. “I’m fine.”
He leaned into her, seeming to draw comfort from her presence.
Watching them, Brianna felt removed from what was happening right in front of her. All she could think about was Noah and how he’d stood by her through every rough moment she’d had in the last few days, not leaving her side for as long as she needed him. “Where would they go? Noah and Gray?”
“The kids are all at Noah’s place,” Hannah said.
“They’d go to Gray’s,” Izzy said. “He’d take Noah to his place.”
“Will you take me there?” Brianna asked Ray and Hannah. “Please?”
“Of course, honey,” Ray said. “Whatever you need.”
“I need to be with Noah. He needs to know he’s not alone. Not anymore.”
“We’ll take you,” Hannah said.
“Go ahead and go,” Cabot said. “I’ll finish cleaning up.”
“Are you sure?” Hannah asked, eyeing the dishes on the table.
“Positive. Take Brianna to Noah.” To Brianna, Cabot said, “Don’t let him push you away. Let him know you’re there for him no matter what happens. That’ll matter to him when the shock wears off.”
“I will,” Brianna said softly. “Thank you, Cabot.”
Twelve minutes later, Ray pulled up to Grayson’s house, where Noah’s truck was in the driveway.
Brianna had never been more relieved to see a vehicle in her life.
Hannah turned to speak to her in the back seat. “He’s going to try to push you away. That’s what he does when things like this happen. He’ll try to put up a wall around himself to keep the hurt out. Take Cabot’s advice and don’t let him push you away.”
“I won’t. Thank you both.”
“We’re rooting for you two, Brianna,” Hannah said. “My son hadn’t smiled in years. All he does is smile when you’re around. He needs you, even if he tries to convince himself he doesn’t.”
“I need him, too. I won’t give up. Don’t worry.” Bolstered by Hannah’s words of encouragement, Brianna got out of the car and went up the shoveled walkway to the mudroom door they’d used the last time they were there. She rang the bell, aware of Ray and Hannah in the truck watching to make sure she got inside safely before they left. Or maybe they’d go to Ray’s place over the garage in the back of Gray and Emma’s. Thinking about what they might be doing was better than worrying about Noah sending her away.
Gray came to the door, seeming surprised to see her. “Come in.”
Brianna waved to Ray and Hannah and then followed Grayson into the house. “I know he doesn’t want me here, but he’s not getting rid of me that easily.”
“He’s a bit of a bear.”
Brianna kicked off her boots. “I’m not afraid of him.”
Grayson smiled. “I knew I liked you. The guest room is to the left of the family room. First door on the right. Make yourself at home.”
“Thank you, Gray. And tomorrow, we’ll be petitioning the court for paternity or custody or whatever needs to happen, right?”
“First thing.”
“Excellent.” Brianna walked through the kitchen to the family room, taking a left and coming to a stop outside the first door on the right. She took a deep breath and let it out, squared her shoulders and gave a quick knock on the door before she walked in.
Noah stood at the window, staring out into the snowy darkness.
Brianna closed the door and leaned back against it. “I know you don’t want me here, but I’m not leaving you alone with this, just like you wouldn’t have left me alone with the news about Rem. Whether you want me here or not, I’m here and I’m staying. You don’t have to do this yourself. A lot of people love you.” She licked lips that’d gone dry. “Including me.”
Chapter Twenty-Four
“Sadness flies away on the wings of time.”
—Jean d
e La Fontaine
Long moments passed while Brianna stood out on the edge of a cliff all by herself, taking a gigantic leap forward that neither of them was ready to make. But there they were, on the cliff, teetering.
“I’m not fit for company, Bri.”
That he called her by her nickname was somehow comforting. “That’s okay. I’ll just be here if you need me.”
She took off her coat and brought it with her to the bed, where she sat on the mattress, still holding her coat. That wouldn’t do. She looked like she was ready to leave at a moment’s notice, and she wasn’t going anywhere. Rising, she put the coat on an upholstered chair in the corner of the room and returned to the bed.
Was she prepared to stay there all night? If necessary. The room was chilly, and it didn’t take long for her to be uncomfortably cold, so she got under the covers and sat propped against the pillows, watching over Noah, who never moved from his post by the window.
She had no idea how long they stayed like that, silent and separate, until he stood up a little straighter and cleared his throat.
“You know what I’d like to know?”
“What’s that?” Brianna asked, relieved to hear him say something, anything.
“When did we go from ‘I’ll love you forever’ to her sleeping with my best friend and giving birth to my kid and keeping that from me for years? When did that happen? Where was I the day it all changed? What was I doing? What did I miss that I should’ve seen?”
Brianna was up and out of the bed before he finished talking. She wrapped her arms around him from behind and held on tightly. “You didn’t miss anything, Noah, because she kept it from you. She didn’t want you to know things had changed.”
“Why? Why would she do this to me? And to our child?”
“I don’t know. We may never know why. But now you know your son is out there, and he’s yours, and you can be part of his life.”
“I’ll be a stranger to him.”
“At first, but over time, it won’t be like that.”
“I’m so fucking angry. I’ve never been this angry, even the day I caught her with Miguel. That was nothing compared to this.”
“I can’t begin to know how you must feel.”
“I’m filled with rage. It’s like a wildfire that wants to consume me.”
“Don’t let it, Noah. Fight it back. The rage won’t help anything. It’ll only make a difficult situation more so. I learned that lesson the hard way. Your only thought should be for your son and asserting your parental rights where he’s concerned. She’s nothing to you, except your soon-to-be ex-wife and your son’s mother.”
He took a deep breath and let it out. “I wanted them to suffer for what they did to me, and instead, they’re out there living like a happy little family with my son. He’s mine.”
“Yes, he is, and he’s going to know who his father is, Noah. He’ll know that. Kids don’t remember the first few years of their lives. You’ll be such a big part of his life that he’ll never know anything other than you as his father.”
“I want custody of him.”
“Let’s see what Gray says about that.”
“It’s too much to ask of you, Brianna, especially when you have your own stuff going on.”
“It’s not too much.”
“I wouldn’t blame you if…”
“What? If I cut and run? That’s not happening, Noah, so don’t try to push me away. I’m not going anywhere. Did you hear what I said to you before? I love you. I didn’t intend to love you when I first met you, and you drove me crazy every minute of every day, but that was so two weeks ago. And now…”
“What?” he asked gruffly.
“Now you’re all I think about. You’re all I want and need, and I already love your son because he’s part of you. It’s not too much.”
With a moan that sounded an awful lot like surrender, Noah turned to her, enveloping her in his strong arms and burying his face in her hair, seeming to breathe her in. “I love you, too. How could I not? You’re so sweet and smart and sexy and perfect for me because you understand my pain and would never cause me more of it—and vice versa. I’d never hurt you.”
“That’s about the best guarantee any girl with a recovering broken heart could hope to receive.”
“We’ve both had enough of the bad stuff.”
“Yes, we have.”
“This thing with my son is apt to get ugly. I’ll do my best to protect you from that.”
“No, Noah, I’ll do my best to protect you from that. We’re going to get through all this shit and figure it out together. I promise.”
“I’m afraid all this external crap will mess things up for us.”
“It won’t. We won’t let it.” She took him by the hand and led him to the bed, encouraging him to sit. Crouching in front of him, she untied his boots and removed them, tossing them aside. “Get under the covers.”
“Are you coming with me?”
“You know it.”
She went around the bed and got in next to him, snuggling up to him.
His arm came around her, and she rested her head on his chest.
“I’ve been thinking a lot about the restoration idea,” she said.
“Have you?”
“Uh-huh, and the more I think about it, the more interested I am.”
“Really?”
“Yep. Do you have some properties identified yet?”
“I’ve found ten that interest me.”
“That’s so exciting.”
“Um, Brianna?”
“Yes, Noah?”
“You do realize if you stay up here and become my partner in the restoration business, that means you’ll live in Butler, Vermont, with no cell service and nine months a year of cold. You don’t like being cold.”
“No, I don’t, but you bought me that jazzy long underwear that’ll keep me warm, and I’ll probably spend most of my time in our home office doing design work while you manage the construction. Would you build me a fire before you left for the day?”
“I’d build you the biggest fire ever so it would keep you toasty all day.”
“And when you got home from work, would you snuggle with me in front of the fire and let me warm you up?”
“I would, and I’d keep you warm all night in bed.”
“Then I suppose fall, winter and spring in Vermont would be more than tolerable.”
“Are you serious about this?”
“If our life looked like the one we just discussed, then yes, I’m serious.”
“You’d want to live with me?”
“Since we’ll be together all the time, or at least I think we would be, it’d be dumb to pay for two places when we only need one.”
“That’s true.”
“And PS, yes, I want to live with you and be with you all the time. But only if you want that, too.”
“A few weeks ago, I would’ve said no way, but I’ve been dreading the end of the job at the inn and you going back to Boston.”
“You didn’t tell me that.”
“I didn’t want to make you feel bad about going back to your life there.”
“I have no life there. Not anymore. All I do is work for three men I can’t stand and then go home alone. Even my closest friends got tired of me being such a sad sack and stopped asking me to do stuff I didn’t want to do anyway. It wasn’t until I came up here and got away from everything that I realized my life there was nothing but a giant rut. Even before this happened with you, I knew I needed to make some changes. And the kind of changes we’re talking about make me excited about the future for the first time in a very long time. I’ll have to find another job until our business becomes profitable. I’m still paying off the debt that Rem left me.”
“Work with me. I need so much help. I’m always a month behind on everything. I can pay you enough to cover any bills you have until the new business starts making money.”
“You’re not creating a job for me,
are you?”
“It’s something I’ve needed for a long time. Your project management skills will be a huge help to me.”
“Then I accept your kind offer.”
“I could be looking at an extended battle over my son.”
“That’s okay. We’ll do whatever it takes to bring him into your life. Our life.”
Noah was quiet for a long time, even as he ran his hand up and down her arm. “When I came here with Gray, I was a mess. I was so spun up and enraged and sad. I was so fucking sad. But then you came bombing into the room, and that’s all it took for me to feel better. Just knowing you were here.”
“Then you know how it is for me when I’m spinning, and you tell me it’s all going to be okay.”
Noah shifted them so he was on his side, facing her. “If you want that life you described for us, then I’m in.”
“I want it. And you. And your son. And your wonderful family and this adorable town and your gigantic moose and nine months a year of cold. I want it all. But more than anything, I want you.”
“Then how about we make that happen?”
“Let’s do it.”
* * *
Noah was awake all night, thinking about Brianna and how she’d pulled him back from the edge of disaster he’d been on when she arrived at Grayson’s and how she’d forced him to let her be there for him. Not that he’d taken much convincing. At some point, she’d become necessary to him, and leaning on her felt natural, like loving her was something he’d been born to do.
He was sitting at the table in Gray’s kitchen nursing a second cup of coffee when his brother came in, dressed in gray pants and a navy V-neck sweater over a dress shirt.
“You’re all turned out for a Saturday,” Noah said.
Gray poured himself a cup of coffee. “I’m going to Burlington.”
“I’ll go with you.”
“Nope.” Gray brought creamer with him when he sat at the table. “You’re staying right here until I sort this out. The last thing we need is you storming in there hot.”
“I’d let you do the talking.”
