A Safety Match

by Ian Hay

  CHAPTER THREE.

  THE WHEELS OF JUGGERNAUT.

  There was a dead silence, unbroken until Juggernaut entered the room.

  "Good-morning, gentlemen," he said briskly. "I am glad to see that thedeputation has only just arrived."

  He turned to the clerk who had shown him in.

  "Andrews," he said, "bring chairs for these gentlemen, and then we canget to business."

  Chairs were brought, and the deputation, which had been balancingitself on alternate legs for nearly half an hour, sat down with anenhanced sense of comfort and importance to what they realised at oncewas to be the interview proper.

  Juggernaut took the seat at the middle of the table vacated by LordKirkley, and inquired--

  "Has any one spoken yet?"

  Progress was reported by Mr Crisp.

  "I wonder if I might trouble the deputation again," said the chairman."Not you, Mr Winch, thank you!" as that Demosthenes cleared histhroat in a threatening manner. "In the first place, you don'trepresent the men in any sense. In fact, considering that you areengaged in no employment in this district, I think it would have beenmuch wiser on the part of those responsible for this deputation tohave left you out altogether. You are not even a properly accreditedTrades Union official."

  "Gentlemen of the Board," began Mr Winch portentously, "I appeal----"

  "Don't trouble, really, Mr Winch," broke in Juggernaut with inflexiblecheerfulness. "You see, I know exactly what you are going to say. Ihave heard it so often in other places where you have been kind enoughto come forward and champion the cause--of--of--the oppressed millionsof this country. That's right, isn't it?"

  A muffled sound proceeded from the interior of Mr Wilkie--his firstcontribution to the debate--and the chairman proceeded.

  "I wonder if Mr Entwistle junior would kindly give us the facts."

  Amos Entwistle, rising from his seat, re-stated the case of the twomen. They were competent and industrious workmen, he maintained, andso long as they gave satisfaction in their situations their privatelives and leisure occupations were entirely their own concern.Possibly their views on the relations of Labour and Capital wereextreme, but the speaker begged respectfully to point out that therewere extremists on both sides; and since many employers might and didregard the men they paid as dirt beneath their feet, it seemed onlynatural that a section of the men should regard their employers asbullies and tyrants. Mr Entwistle followed up this undoubtedhome-thrust with a request for a categorical list of the offencesalleged against the two men, and solemnly but respectfully warned theBoard against risking a serious upheaval by endeavouring to stiflelegitimate criticism of its actions. With apologies for plain-speakinghe resumed his seat, and Mr Aymer tore up a sheet of paper upon whichhe had commenced operations on the arrival of the chairman.

  "Would any other gentleman like to say anything?" inquired Juggernaut."Mr Brash? Mr Wilkie?"

  No, the gentlemen addressed had nothing to say. Their _forte_ wasplainly that of chorus.

  "Very well," said Juggernaut. "In the first place, I am going toaccede to Mr Entwistle's perfectly just request that a definite reasonshould be given for the dismissal of these men. I agree with him thatit is a foolish thing to stifle legitimate criticism. Unfortunately, Idon't agree with him that the criticisms of Messrs Conlin and Murton_are_ legitimate. I have been making inquiries into the antecedents ofthese two. Murton is a paid agitator. He is not a local man. He camehere less than a year ago, and has been making deliberate mischiefever since. He has money to spend: he backs his arguments with beer. Ishouldn't be surprised if he drew his salary from the organisationwhich retains your services, Mr Winch."

  Mr Winch's small eyes began to protrude. He did not relish this lineof argument. In dealing with Boards and other representatives ofbloated Capital he preferred to keep to the high moral and sentimentalplane--the sufferings of the downtrodden sons of Labour, the equalityof all men in the sight of God, and so on. Mundane personalities,coupled with the suggestion that he, a high priest of altruism, wasmaking a good thing out of his exertions on behalf of hisfellow-toilers, took him below the belt, he considered.

  "Conlin," continued Juggernaut, disregarding the fermenting Mr Winch,"seems to be a comparatively sincere and honest grumbler. He hasrealised that this is an unjust world, and he wants to put it right byAct of Parliament. Consequently he goes about advocating certainspecial and particular forms of legislation which, if they came intobeing, would benefit about one member of the community in a hundredand be grossly unfair to the other ninety-nine. He has not yetdiscovered for himself that the aim of all legislation must be tobenefit the type and not the individual. That is the rock upon whichall your friends split, Mr Winch. You are always trying to legislatefor special cases, and it can't be _done_. I quite agree with you thatthe conditions of labour in parts of this country are deplorable. Weall want to put them right. But there are two things we cannot do. Wecan't cure them in a hurry, and we can't cure them by swallowing quackmedicines. What we have to do is to set to work on systematic lines,and go on working, with patience and a sense of proportion, until ourwhole social fabric develops into a sounder and more healthycondition. That requires time, and time requires patience, andpatience requires common-sense, and common-sense is a thing which islamentably scarce in this world, Mr Winch. We are marching on to abetter state of things every year; but every bit of unsound,panic-stricken, vote-catching legislation--Right-to-Work Bills,Unemployment Acts, and so on--throws us back a step, because itstendency is to remove the symptom instead of curing the disease. Now,symptoms are very valuable assets. They give us reliable and necessaryinformation, which is more than can be said of most intelligencedepartments. If ever you have such a vulgar thing as a pain in yourstomach, Mr Winch, that is a kindly hint from Nature that there issomething wrong with the works. If you drink two of whisky hot thepain may cease, but it does not follow that the real cause of thetrouble has been removed. In effect you have merely put back thedanger-signal to safety without removing the danger. That is just whatall this despicable, hand-to-mouth, time-serving legislation that youand your friends are trying to force upon a popularity-huntingGovernment is doing for the country to-day."

  The speaker paused. The deputation wore a distinctly chastenedappearance. Mr Aymer was engaged upon a third sheet of notes. SirNigel Thompson was working out a chemical formula on the back of anenvelope.

  "Let us get back to the point, sir," said Amos Entwistle doggedly. "Iagree with a great deal of what you say----"

  "Shame!" interpolated Mr Killick suddenly.

  "But we came here to ask for the reinstatement of these two men, andnot to discuss social problems."

  "Granted all the time," said Juggernaut cheerfully. "I admit that Ihave not made Messrs Conlin and Murton my Alpha and Omega in theseremarks of mine; but that is because I deliberately went back to firstprinciples instead of cutting into the middle of things. Now for yourrequest! You want an answer? Here it is. The two men cannot bereinstated under any circumstances whatsoever. I confess I am rathersorry for Conlin: he is in a different class from Murton. But he istarred with the same brush, and he must go."

  "Take care, Sir John," broke in Mr Winch, in the declamatory braywhich he reserved for extreme crises. "Don't push us too hard! What ifa strike was to be proclaimed at Marbledown Colliery? You wouldn'tlike that, Mr Montague! You have a bad enough name in the district asit is. You grind your 'eel----"

  "Mr Winch," said Juggernaut in a voice of thunder, "I must ask you toaddress yourself to me. This matter has been taken out of MrMontague's hands by the combined action of the Owners' Association; soif you have any strictures to offer they must be laid upon me asrepresenting the Association collectively. As for striking--well, youstruck before, you know. I don't think any of us have forgotten thatwinter--masters or men!"

  "We nearly beat you then," said Killick hotly.

  "That," retorted Mr Montague, suddenly breaking into the debate, "wasbecause some sentimental fool sent f
ood and necessaries to yourwives."

  "It's the women and children who pay for strikes, you know, Mr Winch,"said Mr Crisp, speaking for the first time--"not you men. You can dowithout beer and baccy at a pinch, but your families must havegroceries and fire. If they had not been kept going by that unknownbenefactor the strike would have collapsed as soon as the Union fundsgave out."

  "Perhaps they will be kept going again," said Amos Entwistle quietly.

  "They won't," said Juggernaut emphatically. "You can take my word forthat, Mr Entwistle. I have seen to it. And I may add that if youconsider it advisable to proclaim a sectional strike, the owners ontheir part might find it necessary to declare a lock-out at all thecollieries in the district. If men can combine, so can masters."

  There was a staggered silence. Even the Board were hardly prepared forthis. Juggernaut had so dominated the situation since his arrival thatone or two--Mr Montague in particular--were beginning to wonder ratherpeevishly why they had been admitted to the meeting. But Mr Crispleaned back and took snuff contentedly. He appreciated strongmeasures, though he was averse to initiating them.

  Still, the temper of the meeting was rising. Killick broke outfuriously. It was a burning shame, a monstrous iniquity, he declared,that men who had never done an honest day's work in their lives shouldbe enabled, simply because they had money in their pockets, to forcehumiliating conditions on a majority who had no alternative but tosubmit or starve. He spoke with all the conviction that absolutesincerity carries; but the effect of his philippic was not enhanced bythe marginal comments of his colleague, Mr Brash, who kept up arunning fire of _sotto voce_ references to bloody-minded tyrants,champagne, ballet-girls, and other equally relevant topics with apersistence and enthusiasm which would have proved embarrassing to amore self-conscious and less frenzied rhetorician than Mr Killick.

  When both solo and _obligato_ had subsided, Juggernaut spoke again.

  "It is one of the most common delusions of men of your way ofthinking, Mr Killick, to imagine that the only kind of work worthy ofthe name is manual labour. Personally, I have tried both. For twoyears after I came down from the University I worked for experience'ssake in a pit not far from here. I went down with my shift daily andworked full time; but I assure you that those two years were far frombeing the most laborious of my life."

  "Your case was different, sir," said Amos Entwistle, with a practicalman's quick perception of his opponent's weak points. "You were doingit for pleasure, to acquire experience--not to earn your bread. Youcould look forward to something better later on."

  "And so can every man!" replied Juggernaut. "Each one of us is ableif he likes to work his way up, and up, and up; and the lower hestarts, the greater is his range of opportunity. The man at the bottomhas the whole ladder to climb, instead of a few paltry rungs, as isthe case of a man born near the top. Let him think of that, and bethankful!"

  The chairman's sombre eyes glowed. His tone of raillery was gone: hewas in sober earnest now. To him poverty and riches were nothing; hecould have lived happily on a pound a-week: the salt of life lay inthe overcoming of its difficulties.

  But Amos Entwistle was a man of tough fibre--by far the strongest man,next to the chairman, in that assemblage.

  "You can't deny, sir," he persisted doggedly, "that it is verydifficult for a poor man to rise. His employers don't help him much.They are best satisfied with a man who keeps his proper station, asthey call it."

  "Tyrants!" interpolated Mr Winch hastily.

  "Star Chamber!" added Mr Brash, _a propos de bottes_.

  "Tyrants? Star Chamber?" Juggernaut surveyed the interrupterquizzically. "Here is a question for you, Mr Brash. Which is theworse--the tyranny of the harsh employer who gathers where he has notstrawed, or the tyranny of a Trades Union which a man is forced tojoin, and which compels the best worker to slow down his pace to thatof the worst, and frequently compels him to come out on strike oversome question upon which he is perfectly satisfied? I won't attempt toplace them in order of merit, but I should feel inclined tobracket----"

  "Trades Unions," interrupted Mr Winch, who was beginning to feelhimself unduly excluded from the present symposium, "are the firststeps towards the complete emancipation of Labour"--he smacked hislips as over a savoury bakemeat--"from the degrading shackles ofCapital. Every man his own master!"

  Juggernaut nodded his head slowly.

  "Ye-es," he said. "That sounds admirable. But what does it _mean_exactly? As far as I can see, it means that every one who is atpresent a labourer is ultimately going to become a capitalist. In thatcase it rather looks as if there would be a shortage of hands if therewas work to be done. Your Utopia, Mr Winch, appears to me to resemblethe Grand Army of Hayti, which consists of five hundred privates andeleven hundred Generals. No, no; you must bear in mind this fact, thatever since the world began mankind has been divided up into mastersand men, and will continue to be so divided until the end of time.What we--you and I--have to do is to adjust the relations between thetwo in such a fashion as to make the conditions fair for both. Idon't say that employers aren't frequently most high-handed andtyrannical, but I also say that _employes_ are extraordinarily touchyand thin-skinned. I think it chiefly arises from a sort of distortednotion that there is something degrading and undignified in obeying anorder. Why, man, obedience and discipline are the very life-blood ofevery institution worthy of the name. They are no class affair either.I have seen the captain of a company stand at attention withoutwinking for ten minutes, and receive a damning from his colonel thatno non-commissioned officer in the service would have dreamed ofadministering to a private of the line. Master and man each holdequally honourable positions; and what you must drum into the minds ofyour associates, gentlemen--I'm speaking to the Board as much as tothe deputation--is the fact that the interests of both are_identical_, instead of being as far apart as the poles, which appearsto be your present impression. Neither can exist without the other. Sofar you have imbibed only half of that truth. You reiterate withdistressing frequency, Mr Winch, the fact that Capital cannot existwithout Labour. Perfectly true. Now try to absorb into your system thefact--equally important to a hair's-breadth--that Labour cannot existwithout Capital. Each depends upon the other for existence, and whatwe have to do is to balance and balance and balance, employing asense of proportion, proportion, _proportion_!"

  Juggernaut's fist descended with a crash upon the table, and for aminute he was silent--free-wheeling, so to speak, over the pulverisedremains of Mr Winch. Presently he continued, with one of his raresmiles--

  "A Frenchman once said that an Englishman begins by making a speechand ends by preaching a sermon. I am afraid I have justified the gibe,but it's a good thing to thrash these matters out. I don't deny thatthe average employer is in the habit of giving his _employes_ theirbare pound of flesh in the way of wages and no more. But I think the_employe_ has himself to blame for that. If you invoke the assistanceof the law against your neighbour, that neighbour will give youprecisely as much as the law compels him to give. Well, that is whatorganised Labour has done. It has its Trades Union, its Workmen'sCompensation and Employers' Liability, and so on; and lately it hasgouged out of a myopic Government a scheme of Old Age Pensions, to beeligible for which a man must on no account have exercised any kind ofthrift throughout his working life. If he has, he is disqualified. Allthis legislation enables you to get the half-nelson on your employer.Under the circumstances you can hardly expect him to throw inbenevolence as well. You can't have your cake and eat it. The oldpersonal relations between master and man are dead--dead as QueenAnne--and with them has died the master's sense of moralresponsibility for the welfare of those dependent on him."

  "Time, too! Degradation! Feudal system!" observed the ever-ready MrKillick.

  "Well, perhaps; but the Feudal System had its points, Mr Killick. Itfostered one or two homely and healthy virtues like benevolence andloyalty and pride of race; and I don't think a man-at-arms ever losthis self-respect or felt degraded because h
e lived in time of peaceunder the protection of the Lord of the Manor whom he followed in timeof war. Yes, I for one rather regret the passing of the old order.Listen, and I will tell you a story. Forty years ago Cherry Hill Pitwas flooded--flooded for nearly three months during a bitter hardwinter. Sir Nigel Thompson's father, the late baronet----"

  Sir Nigel, who was puzzling out some specially complicated formula,suddenly looked up. He had an idea that his name had been mentioned;but as every one present appeared to be listening most intently to thechairman, he resumed his engrossing occupation with a sigh of relief.

  "--paid full wages during the whole of that time; and as coal wasnaturally unobtainable in the village, he imported sufficient tosupply the needs of the whole community. Not a house in the villagelacked its kitchen fire or its Sunday dinner during all those weeks.That was before the days of the Employers' Liability, gentlemen! If asimilar disaster were to occur to-day, I doubt if Sir Nigel here wouldfeel morally bound to do anything for such an independent andself-sufficient community. The present state of things may safeguardyou against the ungenerous employer, but it eliminates the milk ofhuman kindness from our mutual transactions, and that is always amatter for regret. That is all, gentlemen. You have our last word inthis matter. These two men must go. If you would like to withdraw tothe next room for a few minutes and consider whether you have anythingfurther to say, we shall be glad to wait your convenience here."

  The deputation rose and filed solemnly from the room, and the Boardwere left alone.

  Presently Mr Aymer observed timidly--

  "Mr Chairman, don't you think we might let Conlin stay, and contentourselves with dismissing Murton?"

  "Afraid not," said Juggernaut. "It's a bit hard on Conlin, but we haveto consider the greatest good of the greatest number. He's aplague-spot, and if we don't eradicate him he'll spread. Do you agree,Kirkley?"

  "Bad luck on the poor devil, but I think you are right," assented hislordship.

  "Crisp?"

  Mr Crisp nodded.

  "Nigel?"

  Sir Nigel Thompson looked up from his seventh envelope with acontented sigh.

  "I have it at last," he said. "It's a perfectly simple solution,really, but the obvious often escapes one's notice owing to its veryproximity. The eye is looking further afield. Eh--what? My decision? Iagree implicitly with you, Jack--that is, gentlemen, I support thechairman in his view of the case."

  And this vigilant counsellor collected his envelopes and stuffed theminto his pocket. The chairman continued--

  "Montague?"

  "Before I answer that question," began Mr Montague, "I should like toprotetht--protest, I mean--against the arbitrary manner in which youhave conducted this meeting, Mr Chairman. You have taken the case outof our hands in a manner which I consider most unwarrantable; and,speaking as the actual employer of the two men----"

  Juggernaut swung rather deliberately round in his chair.

  "Mr Montague," he said, "you got yourself into a hole, and youcalled--no, _howled_--for a meeting of directors to come and pull youout. These agitators settled down in your district because they knewthat it was the most fertile district to work in. You are considered,rightly, the worst employer of labour here. You are greedy,unscrupulous, and tyrannical. It is men like you who discredit Capitalin the eyes of Labour, and make conciliatory dealing between masterand man almost an impossibility. We have bolstered you up through avery difficult crisis, sitting here and putting those poor fellows,five of whom are infinitely more honest than you are, quiteundeservedly in the wrong, and imperilling our immortal souls bywhitewashing such employers as you. Accept the situation and bethankful!"

  It is said that hard words break no bones. Still, if you happen to bea member of a race which has endured hard words (to say nothing ofbroken bones) for twenty centuries, and when the hard words on thisparticular occasion are delivered by a large man with angry blue eyesand a tongue like a whip-lash, you may be forgiven for losing yournerve a little. Mr Montague lost his. He flapped his ringed handsfeebly, mumbled incoherently, and was understood to withdraw hisobjections unconditionally.

  "Mr Amos Entwistle," announced a clerk at the door.

  Entwistle junior re-entered the room.

  "I am commissioned to inform you, Mr Chairman," he said, "that weacquiesce in your decision; but under protest. I should like to add,gentlemen," he continued, less formally but none the less earnestly,"that the Committee are very much dissatisfied with the result of theinterview. I am afraid you haven't heard the last of this trouble.Good-day, and thank you, gentlemen!"

  "What does it all mean? Strike--eh?" inquired Lord Kirkley, as he andJuggernaut descended the stairs together five minutes later.

  "Perhaps. If so, we'll fight."

  "Righto--I'm on! I say, it was pretty smart of you finding out wherethose private supplies of theirs came from last time. We shall be ableto put the lid on that sort of think in future--what?"

  Juggernaut nodded, but said no more.

  Mr Crisp, Sir Nigel Thompson, and Mr Aymer walked across to thelatter's offices for luncheon. Mr Montague had gone home to lunch byhimself. He usually did so.

  "The chairman arrived at the meeting in the nick of time," said thelawyer. "Kirkley would have been no match for Winch."

  "The chairman was very inflexible," sighed Mr Aymer, with all a weakman's passion for compromise. "He has a way of brushing asideobstacles which can only be described as Napoleonic. Is he alwayswithin his rights from a legal point of view?"

  "From a legal point of view, practically never," said the lawyersimply. "From a common-sense point of view, practically always."

  "He is a hard man--as hard as flint," mused Mr Aymer. "I wonder if hehas a soft side to him _anywhere_. I wonder, for instance, how hewould treat a woman."

  "I wonder," said Mr Crisp.