The Fifth Form at Saint Dominic's: A School Story

by Talbot Baines Reed

  CHAPTER THIRTY FIVE.

  A VOCAL, INSTRUMENTAL, AND DRAMATIC ENTERTAINMENT IN THE FOURTH JUNIOR.

  Now among those who were present to witness the famous "rush-up" ofGreenfield senior and Wraysford, which ended in the fall of the Countygoal, was one boy who showed very little enthusiasm over theachievement, or very little delight at the glory which the schoolthereby derived.

  Loman, who, unable to sit in his study, and not knowing what else to do,had wandered almost instinctively to the meadow, found himself on thisparticular afternoon one of the most miserable boys in Saint Dominic's.

  Two years ago, when he first entered the school, he was popular with hisfellows and voted an acquisition on the cricket-ground andfootball-field whenever the youth of Saint Dominic's strove in emulationagainst their rivals. He could remember a time when fellows strolledarm-in-arm with him down to the matches; when the small boys lookedquite meek in his presence, and the masters gave a friendly nod inanswer to his salutes. That was when he was quite new at SaintDominic's; but how changed now! This afternoon, for instance, as hestood looking on, he had the cheerful knowledge that not a boy in allthat assembly cared two straws about him. Why wasn't _he_ playing inthe match? Why did the fellows, as they came near him, look straight infront of them, or go round to avoid him? Why did the Guinea-pigs andTadpoles strut about and crack their vulgar jokes right under his verynose, as if he was nobody? Alas, Loman! something's been wrong with youfor the last year or thereabouts; and if we don't all know the cause, wecan see the effect. For it is a fact, you _are_ nobody in the eyes ofSaint Dominic's at the present time.

  However, he was destined to become a somebody pretty soon; and, indeed,as soon as the football match was over, and the supper after it wasdisposed of, and the Guinea-pigs and Tadpoles (who, you know, hadselected this same afternoon _for their_ great football match) hadceased their rows in slumber, every one's mind, at least the mind ofevery one in the two head forms, turned naturally to the strange andmysterious event of the morning. What various conclusions they came toit is not for me to set down here. They probably came to as good aconclusion as the reader has done, and waited impatiently to have thewhole thing cleared up.

  And it looked as if the Doctor were about to do this next morning, forhe summoned together the Fifth and Sixth, and thus solemnly addressedthem:--

  "Before we begin the lesson for the day, boys, I wish to refer to anincident that happened here yesterday morning, which must be fresh inyour memories. I mean the accidental discovery of the lost examinationpaper for the Nightingale Scholarship. I hope you will not draw hastyconclusions from what then occurred. The boy in whose book the paperwas found is present here, and has assured me on his honour he never sawthe paper before, and is quite ignorant how it came into his book. Thatis so, Loman?"

  "Yes, sir," replied Loman.

  "When a boy makes a statement to me on his honour, I accept it as such,"said the Doctor, very gravely, and looking hard at the boy. "I acceptit as such--"

  Loman sat motionless with his eyes on the desk before him.

  "But," went on the Doctor, turning again to the boys, "before I dismissthe subject I must do justice to one among you who I find, much to mypain, has been an object of suspicion in connection with this same lostpaper. Greenfield senior, I have no hesitation in saying, is perfectlyclear of any such imputation as that you put upon him. I may say in hispresence I believe him to be incapable of a fraudulent and mean act; andfurther than that, you boys will be interested to hear that thequestions which he answered so brilliantly in that examination were notthe questions which appeared on the lost paper at all, but an entirelynew set, which for my own satisfaction I drew up on the morning ofexamination itself."

  This announcement _did_ interest every one--the Fifth particularly, whofelt their own humiliation now fourfold as they looked at Oliver, andthought of what their conduct to him had been.

  It interested Oliver and Wraysford as much as any one, but for adifferent reason. Supposing Loman had taken the paper--this was thereflection which darted through both their minds--supposing Loman _had_taken the paper and worked up the answers from it, might not the suddenchange of questions described by the Doctor account for the low place hehad taken in the exam?

  Altogether the Doctor's speech left things (except as concerned Oliver)not much more satisfactory than before. The natural impulse ofeverybody was to suspect Loman. But, then, six months ago the naturalimpulse had been equally as strong to suspect Oliver, and--well, thathad somehow turned out a bad "spec," and so might this.

  So Saint Dominic's really didn't know what to think, and settled down tothe work of the term in an uneasy frame of mind, wishing something wouldturn up, to end the wretched affair of the lost paper definitely one wayor another.

  Of course the report of the new state of affairs soon penetrated down tothe lower school, and the Guinea-pigs and Tadpoles at any rate were notslow in making up _their_ minds on the burning question.

  They turned out in a body and hooted Loman up and down the passages withas much, if not more, glee than some of them had lately hooted Oliver."Yah, boo! Who stole the exam paper?--there! old Loman." Such were thecries which presently became familiar in the school, until one day MrRastle dropped down on some twenty of the "howlers," and set them eachtwelve propositions of Euclid to learn by heart, and two hours a-piecein the detention-room, there to meditate over their evil ways.

  The quiet of the lower school during the next week was somethingdelicious.

  The tyrannical proceeding on the part of Mr Rastle provoked bitterindignation, of course, in the breasts of the culprits. Why weren'tthey to be allowed to express their feelings? And if Rastle did want to"pot" them, why should he give them Euclid to learn, when he knewperfectly well Euclid was the very thing not one of them _could_ learnby heart? And if he did want to detain them, why _ever_ should he fixon the identical week in which the grand "Vocal, Instrumental, andDramatic Entertainment" of the Fourth Junior was due to come off.

  It was an abominable piece of spite, that was a fact; and Mr Rastle wassolemnly condemned one evening in the dormitory to be blown up withdynamite at the first convenient opportunity. Meanwhile, come whatwould, the "Vocal, Instrumental, and Dramatic Entertainment" _should_come off, if it cost every man Jack of the "entertainers" his head.

  Stephen, who by this time was a person of authority in his class, wasappointed president of the "V. I. and D. Society." The manner of hiselection to this honourable office had been peculiar, but emphatic. Hehad been proposed by Paul and seconded by himself in a short but elegantspeech, in which he asserted he would only serve if his appointment wasunanimous. It _was_ unanimous, for directly after this magnanimousstatement he and Paul and a few others proceeded summarily to ejectBramble, Padger, and others who showed signs of opposition; and then,locking the door, proceeded to an immediate vote, which, amid loudGuinea-pig cheers, was declared to be unanimous, one contumaciousTadpole, who had escaped notice, having his hands held down by his sidesduring the ceremony. As soon as the doors were open, Bramble, who hadmeanwhile collected a large muster of adherents, rushed in, and, turningout all the Guinea-pigs, had himself elected treasurer, and Padgerhonorary secretary. These exciting appointments having been made, themeeting was "thrown open," a programme was drawn up, and thepreparations were in a very forward state when the sad interruptionoccasioned by Mr Rastle's brutal conduct took place. But if Mr Rastlethought he was going to extinguish the "Vocal, Instrumental, andDramatic Entertainment" he was woefully mistaken.

  As soon as ever, by superhuman exertions, Bramble and a few others ofthe "potted" ones had struggled through their Euclid, and served theirterm of detention, an evening was fixed upon for the great event to comeoff.

  Immediately a question arose. Should the public be admitted?

  "Rather!" exclaimed Bramble, the treasurer, "five bob each."

  "Masters half price," suggested Padger.

  "Greenfield senior free!" shoute
d the loyal Paul.

  "Bah! do you think Greenfield senior would come to hear you spout, youyoung muff!" roared the amiable Bramble.

  "I know what he would come for," retorted Paul, "and I'd come with himtoo. Guess!"

  "Shan't guess. Shall I, Padger?"

  "May as well," suggested Padger.

  "He'd come," cried Paul, not waiting for the Tadpole to guess--"he'dcome a mile to see you hung. So would I--there!"

  It was some time before the meeting got back to the subject of admittingthe public. But it was finally agreed that, though the public were notto be invited, the door should be left open, and any one ("presentinghis card," young Bilbury suggested) might come in, with the exception ofLoman, Mr Rastle, Tom Braddy, and the school cat.

  For the next few days the Guinea-pigs and Tadpoles were busy, learningtheir parts, practising their songs, arranging all the details of theirdramatic performance, and so on; and Mr Rastle had to "pot" one or twomore of them, and detain one or two others, before he could get anythinglike the ordinary work of the class done. All this the young vocal,instrumental, and dramatic enthusiasts bore patiently, devoting so manyextra ounces of dynamite to Mr Rastle's promised blow-up for eachoffence.

  At last the festival day arrived. Stephen, on whom, somehow, all thework had devolved, while the talking and discussion of knotty points hadfallen on his two brother officers, looked quite pale and anxious on theeventful morning.

  "Well, young 'un," said Oliver, "I suppose Wray and I are to be allowedto come and see the fun to-night."

  "Yes," said Stephen, with considerable misgivings about the "fun."

  "All serene; we'll be there, won't we, Wray? Not the first Guinea-pigkick-up we've been witness to, either."

  "Do you think Pembury will come?" asked Stephen, nervously.

  "Oh, rather. He'll have to report it in the next _Dominican_. I'll seehe comes."

  "Oh, I think he needn't mind," said Stephen, with a queer shyness; "Icould write out a report for him."

  "Oh, I dare say; a nice report that would be. No, Tony must be there.He wouldn't miss it for a five-pound note."

  Stephen retired to report these rather alarming prospects of an audienceto his comrades.

  "Talking of five-pound notes," said Wraysford, after he had gone, "doesLoman ever mean to pay up that 8 pounds?"

  "I don't know; it doesn't look like it," said Oliver. "The fact is, hecame to me yesterday to borrow another pound for something or another.He said Cripps had been up to the school and tried to make out thatthere was another owing, and had threatened, unless he got it, at onceto speak to the head master."

  "Did you lend it him?" said Wraysford. "It's a regular swindle."

  "I hadn't got it to lend. I told him I was sure the fellow was a thief,and advised him to tell the Doctor."

  "What did he say?"

  "Oh, he got in an awful state, and said he would get into no end of arow, and wouldn't for the world have the Doctor know a word of it."

  "I don't like it at all," said Wraysford. "Don't you have more to dothan you can help with that business, Noll, old man."

  "But the poor beggar seems regularly at his wits' end."

  "Never mind; you'll do him and yourself no good by lending him money."

  "Well, I haven't done so, for a very good reason, as I tell you. ButI'm sorry for him. I do believe he can't see that he's being fleeced.He made me promise not to utter a word of it to the Doctor, so I reallydon't know how to help him."

  "It's my impression he's good reason to be afraid of the Doctor justnow," said Wraysford. "That Nightingale business has yet to be clearedup."

  The two friends pursued this disagreeable topic no farther, but agreed,for all Loman wasn't a nice boy, and for all they had neither of themmuch cause to love him, they would see the next day if they could not dosomething to help him in his difficulty. Meanwhile they gave themselvesover to the pure and refined enjoyment of the "Vocal, Instrumental, andDramatic Entertainment."

  At seven that evening, after tea, the Fourth Junior room became a centreof attraction to all Saint Dominic's. Fellows from the Sixth and Fifth,always ready for novelty in the way of amusement, looked in to see thesport. The Fourth Senior grandly condescended to witness the vulgarexploits of their juniors, and the other classes were most of themrepresented by one or more spectators.

  The programme had been carefully got up. Stephen took the chairsolemnly at the appointed hour, and with a great deal of stammeringannounced that the proceedings were now about to commence, and then satdown. An awful pause ensued. At first it was borne with interest, thenwith impatience; then, when Stephen began to whisper to Paul, and Paulbegan to signal to Bramble, and Bramble gesticulated in dumb show atPadger, and all four whispered together, and finally looked very gravelyin an opposite direction to the audience, then they began to be amused.

  "Oh," said Stephen, very red, turning round abruptly after this awkwardpause had continued for a minute or two--"oh, that was wrong; he doesn'tbegin, and the other fellow's away. Look here, Bramble, do your thingnow."

  "No, I can't," whispered Bramble in an audible voice. "I've forgottenthe first line."

  "Something about a kid asleep," suggested Padger, also audibly.

  "Oh, yes," said Bramble, starting up and blushing very red as he began.

  "`Lines on Seeing my Wife and Two Children Asleep'--Hood."

  This modest announcement of his subject was overwhelming in itself, andwas greeted with such yells of laughter that the poor elocutionist foundit utterly impossible to go on. He tried once or twice, but never gotbeyond the first half line.

  "And has the earth--" and here he stuck, but in answer to the cheersbegan again, looking round for Padger to help.

  "And has the earth--(Go it, Padger, give a fellow a leg up, can't you?)"

  "I can't find the place," said Padger, very hot and flurried, andwhipping over the pages of a book with his moist thumb.

  "And has the earth--(Look in the index, you lout! Oh, won't I give itto you afterwards!)" once more began the wretched Bramble. He got nofarther. Even had he remembered the words his voice could never haverisen above the laughter, which continued as long as he remained on hisfeet.

  He retired at length in dudgeon, and Stephen called on Paul for a song.This went off better, only everybody stamped the time with his feet, sothat the singer could neither be heard for the row nor seen for thedust. After that followed another "reading." This time the subject wasa humorous one--"Ben Battle," by T. Hood. Every one, by the way, choseHood. It was the only poetry-book to be had in the Fourth Junior. Thereading progressed satisfactorily for the first two lines--indeed, untila joke occurred, and here the reader was so overcome with the humour ofthe thing that he broke into a laugh, and every time he tried to beginthe next line he laughed before he could get it out, until at last itgot to be quite as monotonous as watching the hyena at the ZoologicalGardens. Finally he did get through the line, but in a voice so weak,wavering by reason of his efforts not to laugh, that the effect was moreludicrous than ever. He could get no farther, however. For therecollection of the joke that had passed, and the anticipation of theone that was coming, fairly doubled him up, and he let the book drop outof his hands in the middle of one of his convulsions.

  The next performance was an "instrumental" one, which bade fair to be agreat success. Four of the boys had learned to whistle "Home, SweetHome" in parts, and were now about to ravish the audience with thistime-honoured melody. They stood meekly side by side in a straight linefacing the audience, waiting for the leader to begin, and screwing theirmouths up into the proper shape. Just as the signal was given, and eachhad taken a long breath and was in the act of letting out, some lout inthe audience laughed! The result may be imagined. The first note,which was to have been so beautiful, sounded just like the letting offof steam from four leaky safety-valves, and no effort could recover themelody. The more they tried the more they laughed. The more theylaughed the more the aud
ience roared. There they stood, with faces ofmingled agony and mirth, frantically trying to get the sound out; but itnever came, and they finally had to retire, leaving the audience toimagine what the effect of "Home, Sweet Home" might have been had theyonly got at it.

  However, as the "dramatic" performance came next, the audience werecomforted. The modest subject chosen was _Hamlet_.

  Stephen, who was combining the duties of master of the ceremonies withthose of president, rose and said to the company, "All turn round, anddon't look till I tell you."

  Of course every one pretended to turn round, and of course everybodylooked as hard as he could. And they saw Bramble hop up on a chair andlower the gas, to represent night. And they saw Paul and Padger stickup two or three forms on end, to represent a castle. And they saw twoother boys walk majestically on to the platform in ulsters and billycockhats, and their trousers turned up, and sticks in their hands torepresent soldiers.

  "Now you can turn round," cried Stephen.

  They did turn round, just at the very moment when Bramble, attempting tolower the gas still further, turned it right out. The effect wasremarkable. No one and nothing was visible, but out of the blackdarkness came the following singular dialogue:--

  "_Who's there_?"

  "Have you got a lucifer about you, any of you?"

  "_Nay, answer me. Stand and unfold yourself_."

  "Don't be a fool (in agitated accents); you're shoving me off theplatform."

  "Why don't you light up?"

  "_Long live the king_."

  "Ah, here's one. What's become of the chair?"

  Next moment, amid great applause, the gas was re-lit, and the thrillingtragedy proceeded.

  It went on all right till the ghost enters, and here another calamityoccurred. Padger was acting ghost, dressed up in a long sheet, and withflour on his face. Being rather late in coming on, he did so at a veryunghostlike pace, and in the hurry tripped up on the bottom of hissheet, falling flop on the platform, which, being none of the cleanest,left an impression of dust on his face and garment, which greatly addedto the horror of his appearance. He recovered the perpendicular withthe help of two soldiers and a few friends, and was about to proceedwith his part, when the door suddenly opened and Mr Rastle appeared.

  He had evidently not come to see the show--indeed he hardly seemed awarethat a show was going on. His face was grave, and his voice agitated,as he said--

  "Has any one here seen Loman?"

  No one had seen him since breakfast that morning.

  "Is Greenfield senior here?"

  "Yes, sir," answered Oliver.

  "Will you come with me to the Doctor at once, please?"

  Oliver was out in the passage in a moment, and hurrying with the masterto Dr Senior's study.

  "I'm afraid," said Mr Rastle, as they went--"I'm afraid something hashappened to Loman!"