The Case Manager

by Latoya Chandler

  “Candice, are you all right?” Nakita looked puzzled.

  “Yes, I am fine. Well, as fine as I am going to be, considering.”

  “Yeah, this is going to be hard for all of us, but we will get through it. I need all of you to help me through it. However, it feels like something else might be bothering you.”

  “It kind of is. The meeting with the attorney has me all messed up.”

  “Everything has been going so fast, I forgot to ask you about that.”

  “Yeah, what happened?” Samantha’s eyebrows raised.

  “I don’t even know how to feel, nor do I understand. However, Ms. Nancy wrote me a letter apologizing and . . .” I paused and shook my head. Taking a deep breath, I blurted, “She left me everything, and I don’t feel comfortable because all of us were in that house. She should have divided it among all of us if she were really remorseful. But you know what? Now that I am thinking about it, she didn’t have to. I am going to split it up among all of us.”

  Tracy, Simone, Judith, and Nakita listened with their lips parted in shock. Samantha’s disappointment displayed clearly on her face. The edges of her smile pulled down, causing a heart-wrenching frown.

  “What makes you so special that you made out like a fat rat? We all went through the same exact thing,” Samantha snapped.

  “And if I am not mistaken, she just finished saying she didn’t feel comfortable and would split it with all of us,” Nakita fired back.

  Samantha rolled her eyes and excused herself from the table. The other girls were elated.

  Learning that Samantha went out of her way to sue me pained me like hell. I hadn’t done anything wrong to anyone. Neither had I ever asked for any of what had happened to us to take place. Ms. Jasmine tried her best to assure me that it wasn’t personal. However, in my eyes it had become very much personal. If a fight was what Samantha wanted, her wish would be granted, because it was most definitely what she was going to get. I’d never asked Ms. Nancy to leave me a damn thing. She made that decision on her own. I had finally come to a point where I had grown tired of people taking from me. No more.

  * * *

  Over the last few days, Amiya had undergone countless X-rays and blood tests. She had trouble breathing once, and that scared the life out of us. The doctors gradually regulated her sugar and blood acid levels. She just hadn’t been herself during the two-week stay in the hospital. Alonzo had been there with us every step of way. It had actually become a lifesaver, because I found myself crying alongside Amiya at times. Everything began to frighten her. It had gotten to the point where she cried the moment a doctor or nurse looked at her. I couldn’t figure out how to make things better for her. Especially the times she’d lose it when Ms. Jasmine brought the kids to the hospital to see her.

  Everything came crashing down on me because of the unknown and for the simple fact that my baby had been ill. Alonzo, on the other hand, handled everything differently and so much better than I had. It had gotten to a point where he was the only one who was able to calm her down. Especially when the nurses would come in to draw blood.

  “No, it’s going to hurt. No, don’t stick me.” Amiya kicked and screamed.

  “Please, Amiya, let the nurses make you better so you can go home,” I soothed.

  “No, Mommy, it’s going to hurt. They hurt me.”

  Seeing the frightened and worried look plastered across my face. Alonzo intervened. Alonzo placed his hand on my shoulder and said, “Let me try. Remember, I have type 1 diabetes, Candice. Please try to calm down a little, because look at me. I am alive, so our princess will be fine too.”

  I stepped to the side and looked on as he stepped up and comforted Amiya.

  He stroked her hair. “Amiya, princess, these nurses did the same thing and stuck me with a lot of those needles and it helped me get better. Look at these strong arms I have now.” He lifted his sleeve.

  Amiya touched his arm and smiled.

  “You see these muscles? When I got better, I got strong arms. Do you want strong arms?”

  Amiya nodded.

  “Good girl, but you have to be a good girl and let the nurses help you get better so you can be strong like Daddy.” He looked over to me.

  I nodded, signifying it was all right. It felt weird hearing it, but he was in fact her dad.

  “Okay, are you ready, princess?”

  “Yes.” She blushed.

  “Okay, here we go. I will sit here with you. We will close our eyes together on the count of three and it will all be over.”

  By the grace of God, Amiya was doing so much better. Alonzo had been great with her as well.

  Even though Alonzo had diabetes, he and I, along with Jenna and Ms. Jasmine, received a crash course from the hospital’s diabetes instructor on how to care for Amiya. He too was the only one in his extended family to have it. He was diagnosed at the age of fourteen. Apparently, men with type 1 were more likely to have children with type 1. It was extremely overwhelming for me, but I did what I was told in order to be prepared when Amiya was released from the hospital. We had been instructed to test her blood with a finger prick and to administer her insulin shots five times a day. The doctors and nurses had been extremely helpful and informative. Alonzo and Jenna made sure I understood everything, although the hospital staff made sure they answered all my questions and eased my panicking mind about my princess developing type 1 diabetes.

  Since being home, my baby girl was back to her old self and running around with her brothers and Adrianna as if nothing had happened. Amiya was such a trooper. She knew when she needed her injections, and she would allow me to inject her. Dylan, Darren, and Adrianna were so good with her. They protected their sister.

  It was extremely difficult when I agreed to allow Alonzo to spend time with her. After her release, I allowed him to come by and spend as much time as he had liked in the playroom with Amiya. I wasn’t comfortable with him being with her alone. We had since been in discussion about him seeing Dr. Binet, as this had been difficult and new for all of us.

  Two Years Later

  Chapter Thirty-eight

  Rehabilitated: Time Served

  Nakita

  I had been in the mental institution for two years and it hadn’t been as bad as I thought it would be. Upon arrival, I’d thought and felt differently. Once I was there, they went through the few things I had brought with me, and confiscated and bagged them. Shortly after, I was shown to a room. It was considered late by the time I arrived. Of course, that didn’t go well with me. I wasn’t too fond of them going through my things and telling me when it was time to go to bed. It was not late. I was immediately reminded where I was the moment I was escorted to the other side of the facility. The side I was on was a locked ward and it wasn’t as nice as the unlocked ward.

  By my third day, I had developed a better feel for the place. It appeared after the paperwork and everything else surrounding entrance was out of the way, things pretty much mirrored my life. We had lived structured lives at Hope House, and what I now was experiencing wasn’t any different. We had meals together, group sessions such as education hour, and therapy. The only thing that was missing was my Adrianna, Candice, and the kids. I missed everyone else, just not as much as them. I had to thank God for visitation hour.

  At first, I didn’t want the kids to see me in such a place, but my heart couldn’t handle not being able to see them. Candice made sure to take pictures daily, and she kept a journal of everything that had gone on. She literally mailed me a letter with pictures and notes every single day. No, it wasn’t anything close to being with them, but I felt like I was there when I would see the pictures and read what they’d done.

  During my first meal in the looney bin, I met a young girl who reminded me of myself the day Candice had arrived to Hope House. The same way me and Candice connected the moment we met happened when I met Zenida.

  I had been introduced to all of the other girls. They greeted me and went about their business
. Zenida stayed and offered to show me around, the same thing I had done with Candice. It was thoughtful of her and I was appreciative, but I wanted to keep to myself. Zenida did share during a meal that she had been long-time resident. She had been there four years, and I took that as meaning she had some serious issues. I wouldn’t treat her any differently. I made up my mind to just be cordial until I was released.

  Shortly after getting to know Zenida, she taught me a little secret about mealtime. We had been permitted to request random things on the menu in hopes that we’d actually get the listed items. Nine times out of ten, I was given everything that I had listed on the menu: French fries, pizza, fried chicken, Spanish rice, apple pie and ice cream for dessert. I had never eaten that way prior. I assumed boredom and my nerves had me craving those items. Dr. Binet said I was emotionally eating.

  I am going to try to make healthier choices, I thought as I stuffed fries into my mouth.

  Zenida and I became close after I had lost my cool. We had been at mealtime, and usually I’d have a book to accompany me, but I had forgotten it in the room. I tried to keep to myself, because I knew I was nothing like the crazy people in there. So, reading allowed me to escape between the pages of a book, and it had been a saving grace. In any event, I was on my way to get my book when I heard crying and screaming coming from the hall bathroom. It wasn’t a regular scream, but one like I’d heard on many occasions while at Hope House.

  “Oh, my, no! What have you done to me?”

  Charging in the direction of the bathroom, I ran into a male coming out of the restroom. Without thinking, before he could pass me, I stuck my foot out, causing him to lose balance. As he tumbled down to the white and gray linoleum flooring, I pounced on top of him and unleashed blow after blow.

  “Someone help me. Get her off me,” he wailed.

  With my chest heaving up and down, I continue raining blows as I yelled, “Stop being a punk. You can’t take no for an answer, you coward.”

  “Nakita, no. What are you doing?” Dr. Binet extracted me from my fit of rage.

  When I tried to regain my composure, I was tackled back down to the floor. “Get the hell off me.”

  “Please allow me to speak with her. Something triggered this anger. I want to be able to help her. Locking her in a room won’t help her right now. Please, let me take this one,” Dr. Binet pleaded.

  I looked around as everyone glared at me as if I were a lunatic, and tears threatened my eyes. The more Dr. Binet spoke, the weaker I became. The room had begun to dance around me, and I wailed like an infant. “I’m so sorry. I don’t know what happened. I heard someone screaming. I thought Mr. Frankie, Paul, and Anthony had her. I didn’t mean to hurt anyone.”

  “It’s all right, Nakita. They’re not here. We are going to go into the counseling center and talk. Are you all right with that?” Dr. Binet consoled.

  “Yes. I am so sorry.”

  “Than . . . thank you, Nakita. He didn’t let me shower. He attacked me as soon as I stepped into the bathroom. He does this to me every week. No one believes me. You did. You believed me,” Zenida said appreciatively through a stream of fresh tears. She stood in the doorway of the ladies’ bathroom, and her gown was stained with blood.

  That could not have happened. I was no longer at Hope House. I had been in a completely different environment. How could I have been placed in the exact situation? Did every male I was to encounter have a problem with keeping his pants zipped up? My heart raced franticly. I refused to allow another rape to take place without something being done.

  “Dr. Binet, you had the courts send me here. You said this was the best place for me and that it would help me overcome all that I had experienced. How is that, when the same damn thing is going on here? Were you in cahoots with Ms. Nancy? Are you too going to sit back and turn a deaf ear on rapes?”

  “Nakita, please calm down. I had no idea that was going on. I would never sit back and allow something like that happen. Ever!”

  “Well, if you’re so good at what you do, why didn’t you know what was happening with Zenida?”

  “Her case is different, and I will address it. There are things relating to her that I cannot discuss, but I give you my word, the next place he lifts his eyes will be in a jail cell. The authorities have been called and he is now on his way to sit comfortably in a jail cell. I entered this field because of my passion for victims. I will never allow a woman to be victimized. If you don’t ever believe anyone, you can put money on every word that comes out of my mouth. What I do isn’t about money. I am here for my patients. When my patients are better, I am better, and that includes you and Zenida.”

  After talking to Dr. Binet, she helped me deal with what was dealing with me. No matter how many times I had tried to avoid, ignore, or bury things, the rapes happened. I acknowledged that they had taken place and understood it wasn’t my fault. I had been in such a bad place that I blamed myself for what happened with Zenida. Because I hadn’t planned to become close with anyone during my stay, I’d been a little distant with her. Dr. Binet helped me see none of the things that had taken place in my life or what happened with Zenida were my fault. I was taken advantage of and I had internalized it all and blamed myself.

  Dr. Binet had been great with me, and I’d become a better woman because of her. Zenida and I became good associates. I wouldn’t say friends, because she was one Twinkie away from a straitjacket. She had her days when she was as sane as the average person, but others, she’d scare me. On the days when she would be having one of her episodes, she’d smear the white cream from the Twinkies that she hoarded in her room all over her mouth and vagina and run through the halls naked and cry rape. That had been the reason no one took her cries of rape seriously. She’d become the girl who cried wolf.

  Zenida’s stepdad had raped her throughout her childhood. She’d never told a soul either. Her life began to spiral out of control when she decided to date and her boyfriend wanted to have sex with her. Zenida stabbed him to death, and after counseling with Dr. Binet, the truth about her stepdad came out, and she was ordered to carry out her sentence of ten years in a mental institution.

  I was being released thanks to the raving reports submitted by Dr. Binet. The sessions that I had with her had worked wonders. I was a new woman. I hadn’t shared anything with Ms. Jasmine or the girls. I wanted to surprise everyone.

  Chapter Thirty-nine

  Self-determination: Learning How to Understand

  Jenna

  I was extremely happy Candice allowed Alonzo to be part of Amiya’s life. He was such a great guy. When he would purchase things for Amiya, he’d make sure to pick something up for Dylan, Darren, and Adrianna. He said he wasn’t trying to be their dad, he just couldn’t imagine doing for her and excluding them. Our lives had changed tremendously and pretty much centered around Candice and the kids. Her world had become our world.

  Things didn’t take off from a happy place, that was for certain. Candice agreed she’d become a work in progress. It would take time for her to trust Alonzo completely. However, it was like pulling teeth trying to get her to even allow him to see Amiya without being in her or Ms. Jasmine’s presence. She said I was too close to the situation, that my presence didn’t count. She had come a long way over the past two years. It had come to a point where I thought she was going to ban me from seeing the kids, because of me defending Alonzo. When I thought about any of it, it made me tear up. I was glad she stuck up for herself, but I did feel she took some of her frustrations out on me. Simple conversations ended up turning into long, heated battles.

  For instance, the confrontation with Samantha led to Candice second-guessing everyone. She had gone so far as to have her lawyer get in touch with a friend of his who worked for the State. Candice informed them that she was homeless, and they moved her and all the kids into a hotel. That day ran through my mind often.

  “Hey, Candice and Jenna,” Samantha greeted us the moment we walked through the door.
r />   “Samantha, we need to talk. Do you mind coming into the kitchen?”

  “Whatever it is that you have to say, Candice, you can say it right here. What’s going on? Is everything all right? How’s Amiya feeling?”

  “She’s good. I am just confused about these court proceedings.”

  “Our attorneys can work all of that out. It has nothing to do with us. That’s business.”

  “You’re kidding me, right?”

  “What do you mean? The case is not against you personally. It is against Ms. Nancy’s estate.”

  “Bullshit, Samantha. You weren’t thinking about suing anyone until you found out she left everything to me.”

  “You don’t know what I was thinking. Besides, it is only right. Anyone in their right mind would have done the same thing.”

  “So what are you saying, Samantha? We are not in our right minds?” Judith jumped in.

  “You know what I mean, Judith,” Samantha said.

  “I actually don’t, so please fill me in,” Judith snapped back.

  “Look, Candice wasn’t the only one in that house. The last time I checked, her dad leaving Ms. Nancy was the reason she built up that animosity toward us. Therefore, the way I see it, Candice really shouldn’t be getting anything.”

  “You piece of shit. How dare you?” I growled.

  “Now we are calling each other names? I thought we could handle this like adults. I guess not.” Samantha shook her head.

  With her hand on my shoulder, Candice assured me, “I got this.”

  Turning to readdress Samantha, she let loose. “Let me make this clear once and for all, Samantha. I don’t care if my dad slept with Ms. Nancy’s mother, aunt, brother, or grandmother. None of what happened was or is my fault. She made the decisions she made before I got to Hope House. She had issues, not me. That woman created the issues that I now have. If her guilt made her leave me everything, then it is what it is. I said I would make sure I did right by all of you, but that wasn’t enough for you. You want everything, so if a fight is what you want, sweetheart, it is what you’re going to get. Also, you said this is business. Well, it’s very much personal for me.”