Swimming Naked

by Laura Branchflower

  “Phil, no. Think of Liam. He’s upset enough.”

  “Lina—”

  “No.” She clutched his arm, propelling him forward. “Leave it. Just keep walking. Don’t even look at him.”

  They drove directly to the hospital. Liam became so hysterical when the nurse tried to take him from Phil, the doctor let Phil continue to hold him while he performed his examination.

  “There’s just one spot that penetrated his skin,” the doctor said several minutes later, after cleaning the area around the three bite marks on his back. “It’s rare for an infection to ensue, but you should keep your eye on it. I’ll prescribe an antibiotic cream as a precaution. You can apply it to the spot on his shoulder as well as the superficial scratch on his face. I’m also prescribing a mild hydrocortisone cream for his diaper rash. Do your best to keep his skin as clean and as dry as possible. If it gets worse, take him to his regular pediatrician.” He took off his rubber gloves. “And I would recommend finding a new babysitter.”

  It was almost eleven when they finally arrived home, complete with Liam’s prescriptions and a fresh package of diapers. Katie, who was stretched out on the couch with Matt, jumped up and met them as they came out of the mudroom.

  “Liam!”

  “No!” he cried, fisting Phil’s shirt. “No, Ay. No, Ay.”

  “It’s okay.” Phil pressed his lips to the top of Liam’s head. “Daddy isn’t letting you go.”

  Katie took a step back, her brows pulled together in concern. “What’s wrong with him? And why is he wearing that weird thing?”

  “It’s a hospital gown,” Lina said before briefly telling her and Matt, who had joined them from the family room, what happened.

  “Jesus,” Matt said.

  “Would you make him a bottle?” Phil asked Lina. “I’m going to take him upstairs.” Liam’s face was buried in his chest and he was continuing to fist Phil’s shirt, clearly afraid Phil was going to hand him off to someone.

  When Phil dropped down onto the couch in the master bedroom, Liam relaxed a bit, releasing the material of Phil’s sweater and looking around. “You’re safe,” Phil whispered. “Daddy is never going to let anyone hurt you again. I promise.” He felt another surge of anger. He’d been experiencing them off and on all evening. This time it was toward Kim.

  The sound of the door opening preceded Lina’s arrival. “One bottle,” she said in a soothing voice as she approached.

  “No!” Liam once again gripped Phil’s shirt, turning his face away from her.

  “I didn’t even know until ten minutes ago he could say ‘no,’” Phil said. “Thank you.”

  “Do you think I should leave you alone?” Lina asked. “He only seems to want you near him.”

  “No. I need you. I’m so fucking angry. How could she have left him there?”

  “Don’t think about that right now, not while you’re holding him. He needs you to be calm for him.”

  He took a deep breath. Liam took the bottle from him and leaned against his chest as he brought it to his mouth. “He needs a bath. He smells like spoiled milk.”

  “Do you want me to get it ready?” She stroked her hand over his knee.

  “You don’t mind?”

  “Of course not.”

  Liam, who normally loved baths, began to cry as soon as Phil tried to set him in the water, once again fisting his shirt. “Come on, buddy, you smell. Let me just give you a bath.” He forcibly pried him loose and placed him in the tub.

  “Dadda! Dadda!” Liam howled, reaching for him.

  “I’m right here,” he said, kneeling beside the tub. “I’m not going anywhere.”

  Liam’s cries only grew louder as he refused to stay still, attempting to climb out of the tub and back to Phil. “Dadda!”

  “Just take a shower with him,” Lina said from behind him.

  “A shower?” He pulled Liam from the tub, cradling his slippery, wet body against his side. When he turned to Lina, he could see tears in her eyes.

  The shower worked. Phil was able to clean Liam’s body and hair, and when he was done Lina helped dry him off and then they were dressing him in elf-patterned pajamas that matched the ones Logan had been wearing all week. Liam stood in the center of the bathroom, his dark hair slicked back, staring down at the elves on his shirt.

  Phil felt himself relaxing. “Now those I get.” He took Lina’s hand, lifting it to his mouth. “Thanks, baby.” He kissed the inside of her wrist.

  ***

  When Lina woke up, she was alone in bed. She squinted at the alarm clock. It was two thirty. She found Phil exactly where she expected to, standing beside Liam’s crib, peering down at him. He hadn’t even bothered to get dressed, wearing only his boxer briefs.

  She stepped up beside him, stroking her hand over the smooth skin of his muscled back. “He’s fine,” she whispered, looking at Liam, who was lying on his back sound asleep with his little arms curved above his head. “Come back to bed.”

  “His life isn’t going to be as easy as our kids’, Lina.”

  She knew he was right. “He still has you.”

  “How did that work out for him this week?”

  “You didn’t know. It’s not your fault.”

  “That’s no consolation to me. I’m his father. It’s my responsibility to protect him, and I didn’t. What kind of life is he going to have with a mother like her?”

  “My mom would say he chose this path, this life.”

  “God.” He sighed. “If only I could believe what Alice believes. Wouldn’t that make life easier? Our children have never spent a minute in the care of a stranger. They probably don’t even know people live the way those people do. How many times would that kid have bitten him?”

  “Don’t.” She wrapped her arms around his middle, leaning into his warmth as he curved his arm around her shoulders. “You got him out of there.”

  “How could she have left him there?”

  “I don’t know.” It was beyond her comprehension. “Come on,” she whispered, taking his hand. “We don’t want to wake him.”

  Lina thought she’d heard a baby. She opened her eyes and looked around her bedroom. Another cry interrupted the still morning, and she remembered Liam. She untangled herself from Phil’s warm body, slipped on her robe, and quietly left the room.

  Liam was standing in the crib, his little hands gripping the sides of the rail, when Lina opened the door to the nursery. “Dadda,” he called out.

  “No. Daddy’s sleeping.”

  “Mama.”

  Lina sucked in her breath. “No, but I’m someone’s mommy.” She crossed to the crib. “Hi,” she whispered. Her heart tugged as she looked into eyes so similar to Phil’s. “How long have you been awake? Do we have our happy boy back?”

  He was staring at her intently, like he was again trying to memorize her face. “Mama.”

  She felt a lump forming in her throat. “No,” she whispered. “I’m Lina.”

  “Mama,” he repeated. He touched her mouth with his hand.

  She brushed away a lone tear that slipped from her eye. If only it were true and Kim had never happened. “I think someone needs his diaper changed.”

  ***

  Phil slowly became conscious of a tap on his face. He swiped at it with his hand, coming into contact with something hard and plastic.

  A high-pitched “Dadda!” preceded a hard smack to the center of his face.

  “Oww.” He groaned, opening his eyes.

  “Don’t hurt Daddy,” Lina said, laughing softly. She took the bottle from Liam before he could strike again.

  “Dadda!” Liam shrieked, a wide smile lighting his face when he realized his father was awake.

  “Hey, buddy.” Relief flooded through him, knowing the upset from the previous day was gone from Liam’s mind.

  “Dadda.” Liam crawled onto his chest. “Dadda,” he said again before giving him an openmouthed kiss on hi
s cheek.

  “That was so sweet,” Lina said. “He kissed you.”

  “He needs a little work on the delivery.” Phil wiped the slobber from his cheek with the back of his hand. “You should have woken me. You didn’t have to take care of him.”

  “I wanted to.” She was lying on her side, propped up on her elbow. “He’s eaten and read a book and done a puzzle.” She leaned forward and brushed her lips over Phil’s. “Good morning.” She kissed him again.

  “Mama,” Liam said, pointing at Lina. He began to bounce up and down on Phil’s chest.

  “I can’t get him to stop calling me that.”

  “He knows a good thing when he sees it. Don’t you?” he asked Liam as he lifted him in the air, the muscles in his arms and shoulders straining beneath his skin. “I’m going to show you a proper kiss, okay?” He brought him down and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “Now kiss Mommy.” He held him out toward Lina.

  “Phil, don’t call me that.”

  He smiled when Liam gave her an openmouthed kiss. “Why not?”

  “Because I’m not.”

  He caught a flicker of sadness in her eyes and felt bad for teasing her. “I’m sorry.”

  “I think his diaper rash is already getting better. I applied all of his ointments.”

  He let Liam fall toward his chest before immediately thrusting him back up into the air, eliciting deep chuckles from his delighted son.

  “Thanks, baby.” He brought him down and kissed his nose before launching him up again.

  “I’m going to run out to the mall and buy him some clothes. He doesn’t even have a coat.”

  Chapter Twenty-nine

  “You know the connection that Phil has with me?” Lina asked Adele a couple of hours later when she met her at the mall. “Do you remember?”

  “The one that woke him up out of a sound sleep and had him running to our house in the middle of the night when you were a teenager and you and Shiloh were in trouble? Or had him beelining to the hot tub when you were drunk and almost drowning last year?”

  “I was not drunk,” Lina said. “I had fallen asleep.”

  “Whatever. No, I don’t remember,” Adele said glibly. “That’s not something that really sticks in someone’s mind, a connection between people that transcends space.”

  “Well, he has it with Liam, too,” Lina said, choosing to ignore her sarcasm. “He sensed something was wrong before we found him.”

  “It’s his son. That makes sense. I think a lot of parents have that with their kids.” She lifted up a faux-leather jacket, an exact replica of Matt’s. “You should totally get this for Liam. Phil would hate it.”

  “I already have two coats,” Lina said, looking down at the full cart of baby clothes she’d picked for Liam. “I think I went a little crazy here. I came to get a few outfits. We only have him through the first.”

  “Look at the little Ravens jersey.”

  “That’s adorable,” Lina gushed, taking the jersey. “Why is everything cuter when it’s small? That’s seriously enough.” She tossed the shirt into her basket. “He’s going to outgrow half of these clothes before he even gets to wear them. Let’s get out of here before I find something else.”

  Twenty minutes later they were sitting across from each other in a café sharing a pastry. “You should come by and meet him tonight,” Lina said. “We’re going to celebrate his birthday and Christmas. I’ve already invited Mom and Drew and Mike and Jeanie.”

  “I would, but I have a thing with William tonight.”

  “Oh.” Lina took a sip of her coffee.

  “Oh,” Adele mimicked. “You need to get over this aversion you have to me fucking your boss.”

  “I don’t have an aversion to you doing it with him,” Lina said. “I have an aversion to you telling me about it. If you could just talk in general terms about him it would be better. Nothing referring to his anatomy or your sexual escapades.”

  “I’ve never met a man who was better with his—”

  “No,” Lina interrupted. “Whatever you’re going to say, don’t. I have to see him twice a week. I don’t want it in my head.”

  “Tongue.”

  “Oh my God. You’re unbelievable. Why do you do that?”

  “Because I love your reaction. You’re too uptight.”

  “I like myself just the way I am, thank you. Let’s talk about something else. I have enough stress in my life right now. You shouldn’t be trying to add to it.”

  “I was trying to lighten it.”

  “It’s like a nightmare, thinking of Liam there. He’s such a sweet little guy.” A vision of him kissing Phil that morning came to her mind.

  “You should have let Phil beat the crap out of that sicko. Watching little babies fight.” Adele pulled her lips back in disgust.

  “When we were picking him up, I had this realization that just keeps coming back to me. I know Liam is Phil’s son, but when we walked into that kitchen and Liam saw him, he looked at Phil with the most intense love in his eyes—like Phil was the most important person in his world.”

  “Are you crying?”

  Lina wiped at her eyes. “It just makes me sad. Phil only sees him every other weekend and a couple of hours during the week. How can he be the most important person in Liam’s world?”

  “Who else would be? The mother who left him at some stranger’s house on his first real Christmas so she could vacation in Mexico?”

  “I’ll stay home with him,” Lina told Phil the following morning as he got ready for church.

  Phil was standing just outside his wardrobe, buttoning his shirt, while Liam sat on the carpet nearby patting Knight, who’d been acting like Liam was part of the pack since the previous day, following him around the house and letting Liam pull his tail and ears without complaint.

  “He’s a year old. He hasn’t been baptized. He’s never been in the inside of a church. I want to start taking him.”

  “We will.” Lina replaced his hands with hers, finishing the last few buttons of his shirt. “We just need to give it a little more time. Another month or two.” It wasn’t about her. She didn’t relish it, but she could handle the petty gossip which was sure to ensue when her neighbors realized Phil had an affair. It was Logan she was worried about.

  “I don’t want him to feel different.”

  “He’s a year old. He’s not going to remember any of this. We’ll take him soon.” Lina brushed her lips over Phil’s. “I promise.”

  Chapter Thirty

  Lina awoke with a knot in her stomach. It was New Year’s Day. Liam was going home. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. The days of not thinking about him when he wasn’t in their home were forever gone. She loved him as if he were her own son.

  The realization had hit her two nights prior. He’d woken in the middle of the night. Instead of waking Phil, she’d gone to him. As she’d held him in her arms, feeding him his bottle, they’d stared into each other’s eyes and she’d felt as if there were an invisible string connecting them and he was reeling her in. It was in that moment that she realized she loved him unconditionally, not because he was Phil’s or because she was supposed to but because she could feel a oneness with him.

  ***

  Phil watched Lina zip up Liam’s coat and put a black beanie—a miniature replica of the one he normally wore—onto his head. “You know the car’s in the garage, right? He’s going to be outside for less than thirty seconds, if that.”

  “The windchill today is in the teens again.” She carefully pulled the hat down over his ears. She was fussing over him just like she used to fuss over their children. “Perfect.” She kissed him for what seemed to Phil like the tenth time in the past minute.

  “I thought you were coming with me.”

  “I am.”

  Katie came into the room and took Liam from Lina. “Are you going to miss me?” She kissed his neck. “I’m going to miss you. Give me a k
iss.” She turned her cheek to him, and he put his open mouth against her cheek. “Do you want to say goodbye to Megan?” Katie asked before carrying him into the family room, where Megan was stretched out on the couch watching television.

  Megan kissed him goodbye. She wasn’t as effusive as Katie with her attention, but over the past few days she seemed to be warming to him, reading him a couple of books the day before and helping Phil give him a bath that morning after he’d wiped applesauce all over his hair.

  As Phil watched Katie walk toward them, Liam smiling adoringly at her, he felt a stab of unease at the thought of returning him to Kim. “Come on, Liam,” he said. “We have to go.”

  “You’re not going to get angry,” Lina said for the third time that day as he pulled out of their driveway.

  “Are you telling me or asking me?” Despite the promises he’d been making to himself and Lina, he could feel the adrenaline in his system picking up as he drove toward Kim’s.

  “Think of Liam. You don’t want to scare him.” She was leaning into the back seat as she talked, pulling Liam’s hat, which had crept up, down around his ears.

  “I know.” His grip tightened and untightened on the steering wheel. He needed to keep it together.

  “Tell her to never leave him with strangers again. We’ll watch him. And tell her you’re going to start taking him two nights a week, just like the custody agreement says.”

  They hadn’t discussed it, but her words didn’t surprise him. Her bond with Liam seemed to expand more each day. He shifted one of his hands from the steering wheel to her thigh, and she immediately covered it with hers. They made the rest of the drive in silence.

  “There he is!” Kim, looking healthy and tan, greeted Liam with a smile. “How’s my favorite man?” Her eyes lifted to Phil’s.

  Phil returned her gaze with a cold stare.

  “Mama!” Liam smiled, and then buried his face against Phil’s neck, suddenly shy.

  “Why didn’t you tell me you’d kept him?” She stepped back so Phil could come into the foyer. “I felt ridiculous showing up to pick him up.”