The Switchblade Mamma

by Lindsey Schussman

  18.

  It was a slow ever-growing light that came into the room and penetrated beyond my eyelids. Though I was wrapped in covers, I still felt the warmth of the winter's early sunlight. I slowly opened my eyelids, looking into the ceiling that was revealing the slightest hint of morning light. I didn't have to look, nor feel, for I felt her heart beat close to mine. I felt comfort in the fact that she was still there. I pulled over the covers and slowly lifted myself from the bed. The nights alcohol, did indeed, embed such a nuisance headache into my head. With every ache and pain, I slowly pulled myself from the bed and walked into the bathroom. I turned on the faucet and guzzled the water that swiftly flowed from it. Bare and in my birthday suit, I picked my leather jacket up off the ground and wrapped it around me. The sun was halfway up from its oceanic horizon. Hoping not to disturb Paige, I slowly opened the sliding door and crept myself outside. I sat myself onto one of the lounge chairs. I sat myself and watched as the sun slowly lifted itself over the horizon. It was a new day, and new day indeed and I felt so differently. I had gained so much, but with what was gained, included incredible loss. What was gained, I knew could never always be there. I took a cigarette from the pack that laid on the end table and lit it up. I laughed at myself. For the past year I was always up at the butt crack of dawn, but could never enjoy the sunrise. Even with my slow hung over agony, I listened to the ocean as it rumbled and whispered sweet nothings onto the beach.

  Quietly, Paige finally emerged from the room. She was wrapped around in the comforter. The morning beach breeze caught her hair in such a way. It flowed carefree like a slow-moving Creek. She sat down in the chair next to me. She too looked off into the horizon at the slowly rising sun. She then turned and looked at me up and down. "You do know you're not wearing any pants, right?"

  Couldn't help but smile. Without turning to look at her, I replied, "yup."

  "The jacket is covering your tits, but your vag is kind of hanging out. Aren't you cold?"

  Of course I was. I was hoping the cold air would do some good for my hangover. Goosebumps like a patch of wildfire had spread throughout my body. The cold was getting to me, almost to the point of causing pain. But the view was so beautiful, I could not leave it for one second. "Is what we have right now real?"

  Paige took half of the comforter and tossed over me. She grabbed me in her arm and pulled her head close to mine. "I will forever be yours and always by your side. Although, there are some people that don't need to know."

  "Agreed." I said. "It's worse than a long-distance relationship. We're together, see each other every day, but won't be able to touch. Christ?"

  "I can hang." Paige replied. "As long as I get to see you every day, my soul will be content."

  "As will mine." I replied.

  We waited together in silence and watched. We watched as the sun slowly lifted and made its peak over the horizon. We watched as the sun enveloped the ocean in a million tiny sparkling jewels, jewels that sparkled beauty. Jewels that sparked a moment. A moment that was captured in time. A moment that I wished would never fade away. But it slowly did as Paige lifted herself from the chair, and let the covers fall from her.

  Her body was even more so beautiful in the morning sunlight. She leaned over and kissed me up on the four head. "I have to get packing. The boys will be up soon. Get in the shower, get packed and get ready." She gave me a slower, soft kiss upon my lips. "I'm assuming the bus will be leaving around noon." Naked and covered in beautiful flesh, she left.

  I sat out a while longer. I watched the remnants of the sunrise as it finally became day. I rose from my chair, birthday suit and all. I bunched up the comforter and dragged it in with me. As I peeled off my leather jacket, I saw the remaining beer from the six pack sitting lonely. I thought about it for a moment and then remembered my hangover. I smiled at it and popped it open, guzzling the warm beer quickly. The warmth and my empty stomach was not agreeing but I held it in, hoping the beer would lessen my hangover. The shower was my next stop. I hoped that the warm water slipping and sliding down my skin would wash away the headache. I came to rest upon my knees in the shower. I closed my eyes and tried to concentrate on feeling better. It wasn't just the hangover, but rather a mix of that and being beaten.

  The time was drawing near. We were to go back home. To me, it was a moldy, dark, musty, dank dungeon. I loved the beach house and would miss it so very much.

  I was showered and I dressed. Quietly I packed. I heard rustling and talking below. Everyone was getting ready for departure. I knew that their heads were as cloudy as mine. My bags were packed and I was ready to go. Curiously, I walked to the door and placed my hand over the knob. I turned it slightly. It was locked. I returned to the bed and sat, quietly. Out of boredom, I went to the bathroom and put product into my hair. I spiked it up and gave myself the Switchblade Mama look.

  I kept myself busy by making the bed and listening to music from my MP3 player.

  I waited patiently. I was sitting on my bed, arms folded when finely Clive emerged from the door. He had what only could be described on his face, was a million-dollar smile. "Holy shit! It's da Switchblade Mama! You done made us all proud! Million dollar slaughter, indeed! You is, one tough fucker! Come on lady, follow me downstairs, we be going home!"

  I picked up my duffel bag and followed Clive out. I was going to miss the beach house. I kept looking around as much as I could. As soon as we reached downstairs and into the kitchen, I kept a lookout for Paige. She was nowhere to be found. Quietly, I sat at the kitchen table a while longer. Barrett, Clive and Fitz were in and out of the house. Fitz quietly smiled at me and Clive gave me two thumbs up. I laughed to myself and wondered if they even knew they were drugged last night. I knew their heads must have been pounding.

  Still no sign of Paige, but the time had come. Clive came in and gathered me from the kitchen. We walked in to the garage. With a duffel bag hanging from my arm, I pulled the door handle from the Lincoln Continental, but it was locked. I looked back at Clive and was about to say something, as the garage door began to slowly open.

  The U-Haul was backed in ever so closely to the garage. The back was open and there, Barrett was standing. He looked like shit. He looked like he was up all night drinking, but I knew he wasn't. His beard was coming in scruffy and full. His thumbs were hooked into his pockets and he had a smug look upon his face. Throughout all of his scruffiness, his blue eyes overcame all. He was smiling. I knew he was laughing to himself.

  My mouth slowly dropped. I dropped the duffel bag, shaking my head. "Oh, fuckin-A" I took a moment and thought about it. I turned and looked at Clive, lifting my eyebrow. "I'll be right back." The bathroom was my destination. I sat down on the permanent porcelain structure, also known as the royal throne. I made sure that I got out everything that I needed to get out. There was no way in hell that I was going to shit, or piss in that truck again.

  I was loaded up and strapped in. I put the earbuds into my ears and listened. The trip took forever and was non-relentless with the bumps, the shakes and the, oh hells! The ride out was just as I had remembered it on the ride in. My hangover had faded, but was still slightly intact. My stomach churned with disapproval. I tried to close my eyes and sleep, but sleep seemed so far away. The gallons of water that were available on the way up, were still there. I didn't care. I drank from them. I guzzled the water. Even if it was four weeks old, it was still water.

  Their faces continued to come at me. Their faces, which shone horror. Each and everything, folded over into a wave of molding blood. It was a tidal wave of redness. Their bodies flailing at me. I tried to run, I tried to escape the damnation. Asmodeus himself had returned. He was there in full form, waiting for his commander, me. I tried to plead with him. I laid down on my knees and pleaded with him to spare my soul. It was too late for my soul to spare, for the damage had already been done. I was clasped within the gates of hell. I was initiated and now the commander of the nine Hells. Asmodeus placed his fiery Palm upon my
chest. My initiation was imminent. His body, his mouth, filled with fire and hell made me recite the oath of darkness. With the very fire of hell blazing within his eyes, he began to recite the dark oath. "I, Lillian Ann cross, with my soul already pledged and lost, do, by adhered to the fact, that my soul has been taken because of the heinous acts that I have committed. I take my place, next to Asmodeus and lead the nine Hells into battle, against good and the innocent. I take mercy on no one. I shall commit my soul, into a world of darkness. I shall not rest until the very soil of the earth is emerged into a fiery blaze, creating the tenth hell? Soaked in the blood of innocents.

  I hadn't felt it when the truck stopped. I hadn't felt the end of vibration. I remained motionless and limp, strapped into my chair. It wasn't until Clive poked me that I fell out of my dream from hell. I looked up at him and saw only a dark shadowy figure. With the floodlights from the house blaring into the back of the truck, it took time for my eyes to adjust. I took a deep breath and exhaled. I wiped the beaded sweat from my four head.

  "Come on kid. Get dis shit unbuckled and get out the back of this truck." Clive stated quite impatiently.

  He leaned over and began to unbuckle me. I quickly slapped his hands away. "I can do this." I said as I groggily tried unbuckle myself.

  He stepped back raising both his hands. "All right kid, no need to get pissy. It's way late." He raised his watch to his eyes. With the push of a button, the backlighting turned on. "Is way too late in the night," he thought about it for a moment and then scratched his head. "Or maybe it's too early in the morning. Either way, get yo ass up out of dis metal shit box so we can all get some sleep."

  I had no disputes with that. As a raised myself from my seat, I felt nauseous, almost floating. I tried to take a step, but failed miserably fell to my knees.

  Clive was startled by this and rushed to help me up. I shooed him off. "I got this Clive."

  "You okay, Lill?"

  "Fine and dandy like chocolate candy." I replied as I slowly, slowly tried to raise to my feet. My insides felt hot, almost like melting. My head was not too clear. I couldn't tell if it was the ride, or something way worse at hand.

  I knew Clive was tired and patiently waited as I rose to my feet. Like a drunk person, I wobbled over to my duffel bag which contained my very few belongings. Clive jumped out of the truck and I followed. My eyes soon adjusted to the light and I took my very first look outside of darkness.

  Snow was covering the ground. I began to feel the cool wisps from the frozen breeze pressing upon my skin. The air was way lighter than the beach house, for the air smelled of ice cubes and pine trees. I sat down at the edge of the truck. I knew in the condition that I was in, I wouldn't even be able to jump from the truck without falling. As I placed both my hands on the truck bed floor and I twisted myself off, I was reminded of the emergency bus training I was given in school as youngster. I smiled as my feet successfully planted themselves, crunching the snow below.

  I waited. Clive walked in and disappeared. I waited. Where they just going to leave me outside? I waited. Paige finally popped herself outside of the kitchen door. I looked at her, eyes questioning. "I'm waiting for someone to take me to my dungeon." I said.

  She walked down the cement steps and towards me, feet trudging in the snow. She came to me and placed both her hands on my shoulders. Smiling, she looked me in the eyes. "My friend. You have graduated from that dank, dark, dungeon. You have now graduated to a room in the house."

  My eyes widened. "No shit?"

  "No shit." She said smiling.

  Paige placed her arm around me, and we both walked into the house.