The Bastard

by V. K. Ludwig

  Her translucent face made for a poor backdrop of her otherwise pimply and large pored skin. A visible sign of how young she was, yet in complete contrast to her ash gray hair.

  “A man just bumped into me in the hallway.” She walked over and picked up the chair Benjamin didn’t bother to. “Completely frantic.”

  “That must have been Benjamin,” Aubry said. “The gentleman I told you about?”

  The girl anchored her purple-hued eyes on me. “Did something happen?”

  “Cold feet I guess,” I repeated my shoulder shrug in complete innocence.

  She bore her eyes into me as if she would find the truth somewhere between my iris and pupils.

  “I assume that means you are the only one left?” She smiled. “I am councilwoman Svea in case you wondered. Aubry asked me to look at the issue between the two volunteers. But it seems to me, it has resolved itself.”

  She couldn’t have been much older than my student Lisa, who turned fourteen just a few weeks ago. How could this gangly teenager have a seat on the council? I suppressed a shudder. Something mischievous shone from underneath her etched smile. This girl is freaking me out!

  “Why don’t we all sit down?” Aubry asked, pointing back at the chairs.

  Avoiding Benjamin’s chair, I walked around the table and sat with my back towards the window. Seated against the light would make it more difficult for Svea to read me. Or so I hoped.

  “Ayanna,” the councilwoman said. “I doubt I have to bring up our concerns when it comes to sending a woman to the Clans. You are smart. And you taught many children about how they are different from us. What I can’t understand is why. Why, Ayanna? Is it because of your rejected application?”

  She might have expected me to shrink back at her question, but I didn’t. Of course, she knew about the application. Was there anything the council did not know?

  I sat straighter and took a deep breath. “As a matter of fact, yes it has something to do with the rejection. See, I was desperate after my appointment. Now that a few days have passed, I can finally see how my desire to be a mother might be considered selfish.”

  The bait drifted on the surface. I just needed them to swallow it.

  “Do you mind explaining?” Aubry asked. She looked at me from narrowed eyes. Did she just nibble the bait?

  “Well.” I brushed the wrinkles out of my dress with several slow strokes to calm my nerves. I can do this. “As a young society, we could disappear from the surface of this world at any moment. There is a reason why I can’t serve our community as a mother, and I made my peace with it. But I wanted to take it a step further.”

  “If you don’t want us to burst from curiosity,” Svea said, “you will have to tell us what that step would look like.”

  Aubry nodded in agreement and folded her hands neatly in front of her chest.

  “Working with the children of the Clans will be a daily reminder of why not everyone should get the permission to procreate. That’s what got us in trouble in the first place, isn’t it? While we improve the human genome with each generation, the Clans continue to struggle with diseases, learning differences and low IQ’s. I just think that this experience will deepen my understanding of the Newgenics program even more.”

  There. I said it. With my lungs as empty as our abandoned churches, I kept my eye contact steady and waited for their reaction. Would they swallow it? Or did I blow it entirely?

  Aubry and Svea exchanged a quick glance. They had run out of objections. I was qualified. I had a masterfully composed motif. Not to mention, they had nobody else but me.

  Without as much as a peep, Svea pushed her chair back and walked over to the door.

  “I will inform their chieftain of the good news,” Svea slipped me a lightning-fast glance. Did she just wink at me? A funny feeling settled around my neck.

  Chapter 7

  Protection

  River

  Rowan bore his cold eyes into me. With his hands folded behind his back, he two-stepped around me and sighed. “On the day we have a virtual meeting with the council, you braided your hair?”

  I looked over to Adair who hid a smirk behind his palm.

  “You told us to trim our beards and look presentable for this meeting. I think I look less intimidating with my hair braided,” I said and let my hand glide over the two Dutch braids atop my head.

  Adair snorted a laugh. “Dude, you never looked intimidating. But now… haha… you look like you spent the last two hours at a three-year-old’s tea party.”

  “Shut up, Adair,” I stood tall and pushed my chest out.

  Of course, I looked intimidating. Fuck, even our women looked intimidating compared to those pussies from the Districts. It didn’t take much to scare the living daylight out of them. Six months ago I sneezed during a meeting, and they jumped from their chairs.

  “Damn it,” Rowan said and sunk his face into his palm. “I didn’t want them to see your wound. They are… weird when it comes to injuries and shit. They will think you got attacked, or in a fight, or —”

  “But I did get attacked,” I said and flung my arms up.

  Rowan huffed and flung his gray-green fleece beanie at me. “That’s not something we want them to know. They need to believe our village is safe, or they will never send us that teacher. I’d rather just keep this meeting simple.”

  The holo-projector next to Rowan vibrated, and he pushed himself up with such force, it made the bench move with a screech and almost toppled the projector to the ground.

  He pointed at me. “Put that fucking thing on. Now! And then get your asses over here so I can introduce you.”

  A holographic image of a young woman appeared in front of us, her hair cut short and the color of liquid silver. They made introductions and exchanged formalities before Rowan took a wide stance.

  “Chieftain Rowan,” she said. “There is no safer place on this continent than the Districts.”

  Rowan muttered something cloudy, but she didn’t let it distract her. She continued. “Autumn, your sister, will be absolutely safe with us. The safety of our teacher, however, well… the council is undecided.”

  Autumn? Safe at the Districts? What was she talking about? Rowan would never let his sister leave his side. Not after what happens last year.

  “I understand councilwoman Svea,” Rowan said, and I couldn’t suppress a chuckle. Councilwoman… girl was more like it. Oh shit. Did he hear me chuckle? Rowan shot me a cut-the-crap look. Then he turned to her. “Let me assure you, I assigned my best man as his guard.”

  The councilwoman smiled and dipped her head. “Her guard.”

  What is this? This meeting felt like one of those Jerry Springer recordings I found in an old nursing home. My eyes darted to Adair. His open mouth confirmed it: her guard. No way.

  Everyone talks about how smart council members are. Sending a woman here wasn’t smart. It was fucking stupid. Rowan turned away from the projection for a moment, mumbled something and wiped his hands on his jeans. When he turned back to the hologram, he relaxed his face and laughed.

  “For a moment I thought you said her,” he shook his head with a grin so wide, one might think he just heard the joke of the century.

  “You heard correctly,” the girl said. “Her name is Ayanna, and she applied for this assignment.”

  “You can’t be serious,” Rowan blurted.

  He looked at me first, then to Adair, but we both just shrug our shoulders. This was insanity, and everyone in the room knew it.

  “Chieftain,” she said in a calm voice. “If you think her guard is capable and honorable, then I don’t see an issue with sending a woman. Haven’t you told us the Clan of the Woodlands is a safe place again? Did that exclude women?”

  “Of course not,” he said quickly, his voice serious. “Um, I need to put this meeting on hold for a few minutes, so I can discuss this new information with my men.”

  The councilwoman nodded, and light beams died down to a mere flicker.<
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  “Ugh,” Rowan dug his hands deep into his hair and pulled until the skin of his hairline turned bloodless. “We’re fucked!”

  “Why?” Adair asked. “This is awesome. I’ll get to protect a real woman. Do you think she’s pretty? I bet I can make her fall in love with me. Once she sees these babies here, she will swoon over me. I’m telling you,” he grabbed his shirt and lifted it just enough for his abs to peek out.

  What a show-off! As if women from the Districts actually gave a shit about broad chests, ripped stomachs and hard cocks. To them, they were as useless as diet water.

  Adair shuffled around in some sort of victory dance, thrusting his hips towards whatever he imagined.

  Rowan paced around the tired fire pit which sputtered lazy puffs of white smoke into the air. “You won’t be her guard.”

  Adair stopped in his tracks. “But you said I would protect the teacher. You told that child you got your best man on it, and you told me last week that it will be me.”

  “Well, I don’t give a shit about what I said last week,” Rowan clapped his hands together to put some finality to it. “The fact that it is a woman changes things.”

  “Changes…” Adair shook his head. “What the fuck, Rowan! You would let me guard the hairless ass of a guy from the Districts, but now that it’s a woman you want to give it to… like… who do you wanna give it to? You said it yourself, I’m the best man for the job!”

  Rowan rolled his eyes. “What else should I have told them? I don’t trust you with a woman, Adair.”

  “Don’t trust me with a woman? I never touched —”

  “Are you going to tell me you never touched a woman, Adair?” Rowan asked, the color of his eyes suppressed into a thin line. “You never sneaked around with one behind my back? Never whispered sweet nothings into her ear? You think I’m stupid and don’t see shit. I’ve got news for you… I see everything. I know everything.”

  I looked back and forth between the two giants. At first, wrinkles formed on Adair’s forehead, as if Rowan’s words had confused him as much as they confused me. When the lines disappeared, I knew better. Something had happened. And whatever it was, Rowan didn’t approve.

  “Except where your wife is,” Adair mumbled into his golden beard.

  Although Adair stood by the wall, it took Rowan less than three steps to rise in front of him like judgment day. He leaned in, his voice more of a warning than a question. “What did you say?”

  Adair clenched his jawline and pushed his chin up. The air was so thick, only the sharpest knife could have cut it. I had to do something before this escalated.

  “So,” I cleared my throat. “Who’s going to take care of this girl?”

  Adair turned away and sent a chair howling across the room. Rowan threw his head back and looked at the ceiling for a moment.

  He sighed. Then he gave a heartfelt laugh. I was glad he had something to laugh about, but at the same time, a funny feeling tickled the pit of my stomach.

  “You, River,” Rowan said and walked back to the projector.

  My heart throbbed underneath my Adam’s apple. I could barely protect myself, how could I possibly defend myself and a woman? Dammit, I had no experience with women whatsoever. I knew they smelled good, gave me wet dreams and I couldn’t touch them.

  “No way,” I tossed my head from side to side as if I had to shake off a bad dream. “I don’t want to be her guard. You see this?” I pushed the beanie up and pointed at the raw wound, stitches running through flesh and skin. “I can barely keep myself alive. My dog almost bled to death. And you want to trust me with the life of a woman? From the Districts?”

  “Is this about you going to the mountain again?” Rowan asked. “You told me you didn’t want to go anymore after…”

  “Its not about that,” I said and sunk my head.

  It really wasn’t. Being assigned as her guard would give me an excuse not to go. My locket was gone. And with it, her black curls and vibrant smile. But even if I still had it… did I need to hear more than what James had told me?

  He called it. I am a bastard. The sad consequence of rape; most likely by a guy like James or Roger. With foul teeth, weathered faces and ten more of their bastards crawling on the surface of this world.

  “I don’t get what’s going on between you and Adair, but for once I agree with him. He is better suited than me. He grew up with a sister. I’ve never been around a woman before. Besides, my cabin doesn’t have a separate room. And, well, what if I can’t sleep knowing there’s a female in my home?”

  “You’re done finding excuses?” He cocked his head. “How is this any different from what we do here every day? You watch out for the women, but you don’t touch them.”

  This was totally different. Why didn’t he get that? Making sure nobody pulled a woman behind a shrub on their way to milk the goats was one thing. Sleeping under the same roof with one. That changed a thing or two.

  “Still. How am I supposed to literally live with a woman for a year and she’s not my wife? It’s… difficult.”

  “Are you saying you can’t live with her because you can’t control your cock?”

  “What?” my stomach soured. How could he ask me that? “Come on Rowan, you know me better than that. I would never hurt a woman.”

  He nodded. “It’s settled then.”

  Shit! I hope she’s ugly. No, I hope she’s freaking old. Or both, just to be on the safe side.

  I opened my mouth, ready to fire a dozen more reasons at him as to why I couldn’t protect her. They all turned into a breath of incoherent syllables, overpowered by specks of dust which flickered in the beams of light.

  “My apologies for the interruption. Please let me introduce you to River,” Rowan held out his arms and frantically waved me to him. “He will be her guard while she is here. He was also the man who installed the requested commodities at the school building.”

  I dragged my lead covered feet in front of the projector and gave my most winning smile.

  The councilwoman scanned me from braids to boots. “River. I trust you understand the weight of this responsibility?”

  Sure did. In fact, it already wore me down.

  Chapter 8

  Innocent touch

  Ayanna

  It’s not a big deal, Ayanna. My knees wobbled. I recited the major steps once more in my head. Find out where the samples are. Get one. Knock yourself up. Go home. Eat pickles for the next ten months. As hard as ice cream in August.

  Rowan let his chair shriek across the room, turned it around and sat down pushing his chest against the backrest. With his hands folded right under his chin, his steel-gray eyes wandered over my body.

  I shifted from one butt cheek to the other. Five hours to get here had taken a toll on my behind, and the unforgiving wooden bench underneath me didn’t help either.

  “Ok, I need to make sure once more,” Rowan said. He closed his eyes for a brief moment as if to bring his thoughts in order. “I have ordered River to keep an eye on you at all times. He will be your unrealistically huge shadow wherever you go, except for times where you have to use the bathroom, bathe and stuff like that.”

  “Uh-huh.” I gave a few enthusiastic nods. Just how many times do we have to go over this?

  “You both can’t leave the territory. But I would feel a lot better if you wouldn’t even venture farther than Wolf Lake.” Rowan jerked his head towards River.

  “Got it, boss,” he said without looking up. He sat on the floor and leaned against the wall, one leg crossed over the other. His olive green beanie sat less than an inch above his eyebrows, and a black curl had freed itself from underneath. It bounced against the strained pink wound on his temple every so often, but it didn’t seem to bother him at all.

  “And nobody —”

  “I know, I know,” I said and flung my eyelashes up. “Nobody can touch me. Every guy has to stay three feet away from me. If somebody does, I immediately tell River and you.”


  Rowan ran his hand through his white speckled beard. “Exactly!”

  The massive door screeched, and we all turned our heads to the entrance of the longhouse. A man with platinum hair poked his head through the gap.

  “What the fuck, Adair. I said I didn’t want to be interrupted,” Rowan shouted.

  “There’s some trouble brewing. You better get involved now before someone ends dead in the mud,” Adair said.

  Rowan pushed himself up and left the room with a sigh. I forced down a sick feeling. I wanted to go back home. Now! This place reeked like the District’s sewer, and I hadn’t seen a single woman yet. Beards, beards as far my eyes could see. And muscles. Every guy I’ve met so far was the embodiment of savagery. Nothing here had jumped onto the bandwagon of evolution.

  Adair’s eyes locked with mine, and his peach colored lips framed his white teeth into a gentle smile. “Hi.”

  I waved at him, relieved at his non-threatening posture. He had one hand in his pocket and a slightly cocked head.

  “I wanted to say that I’m glad you’re here, and if you need anything —”

  “Then she will come to me with it.” River stood up to his full height. I shrunk back. How could I stay in one building with him? His scar throbbed like a heart on an adrenaline buzz. What is he touches me? No… he can’t touch me, or Rowan will send him into exile. Breathe, Ayanna!

  Adair acknowledged River with an extended middle finger and closed the door behind him. I knew what the gesture meant, we just preferred more efficient ways of communication back home.

  “That was rude,” I said and shot River an angered look. “He wanted to offer me his help.”

  “Yeah, Adair is always trying to be helpful. Especially with the ladies. A small piece of advice: don’t get too friendly with guys while you’re here. They might take it the wrong way and think you’re interested in them. I don’t want this job any harder than it has to be.”