Tales of the Wonder Club, Volume I

by M. Y. Halidom

  CHAPTER IV.

  THE MERMAID PALACE; OR, CAPTAIN TOUGHYARN'S DREAM.

  "Come unto these yellow sands." --_Tempest._

  Well, messmates, I don't know whether I am sufficiently clear up aloftto recollect all the details of my dream; but hold hard a moment,perhaps I can. Ah! yes; I remember now.

  I thought I was on board my good ship, the _Dreadnought_, which wasbound for Timbuctoo. I was seated in my cabin, making an entry in thelog, when I was aroused by a noise of shouting on deck. I thought Iwould go and see what was adrift; but hardly was I out of the cabinwhen, in the twinkling of a bowsprit, I found myself pinioned.

  The crew were in a state of mutiny, and headed by the first mate. I wasspeedily lashed to the mizen, when Ned Upaloft (that was the name of thefirst mate), presenting a brace of pistols at my face, called upon me toyield.

  "Avast, there! Ned Upaloft," I cried; "and you, Jack Haulaway, with thewhole gang of you, and tell me what the devil is the meaning of thismutinous conduct."

  "No more palaver, but yield," he cried.

  "Never!" I answered.

  "Then you're a dead man," he said.

  "Fire!" said I; "you may take my life, but never will I yield up mypower to a pack of mutineers."

  His finger was on the trigger, and the next moment I expected to be mylast.

  I must mention that the whole of that day the weather had been extremelysultry. A storm arose suddenly, and the ship pitched and rolledtremendously. All the crew were in liquor, and the helm was deserted. Atthe moment I expected it was all up with me a terrible flash oflightning struck the barrels of the pistols, which went off of their ownaccord, luckily missing me.

  Ned Upaloft was struck blind. The crew were sobered for a moment.

  "Behold," said I, reaping advantage from the confusion, "behold, howHeaven rescues her own. So may it go with all mutineers. Look up aloft,"said I (a flight of Mother Cary's chickens just then passed overhead.)"Look! has that no warning? What are those but the souls of departedmariners, who have come to beckon you to your doom?"

  A terrific clap of thunder almost instantaneously followed the flash,and drowned my last words. The crew looked irresolute as to whether theyshould renew their attack or throw down their arms and yield themselvesas mutineers; but they were roused by the voice of Jack Haulaway, thesecond mate, who cried out,

  "What! are you scared at the thunder and this man's words? Ho! there;reef the main-top-gallant sail."

  The crew looked up aloft and hesitated, for the top mast threatened tosnap every moment.

  "Come, look sharp, or in two minutes we shall all be scudding under barepoles. What! you're afraid? Cowards that you all are. It will have to bedone. I'll go myself."

  And up went Jack Haulaway; but hardly had he taken in a reef, when themast snapped, and main-top-gallant sail, Jack Haulaway, and all wereblown far away into the sea.

  "Behold the fate of your second commander," said I. "Look to yourselvesnow, for your time is not far off."

  The waves were now so enormous that the vessel was soon on her beamends. Smash went the bowsprit as it struck against a rock; crash, crash,went one mast after the other, until we were literally scudding underbare poles. It was difficult for the sailors to maintain theirequilibrium, and several fell overboard. I looked for the first mate. Hehad disappeared.

  Some of the sailors clung to the fragments of the vessel and tried topray, others supplied themselves with grog, till they lost allconsciousness. One of the men came forward to me, and, unloosing me,begged my pardon; said he bore me no malice, and if he hadn't been inliquor, he would never have joined the gang.

  We all shook hands, for we deemed our last hour had come; and so,indeed, it had for most of us. In another moment the vessel was dashedagainst a rock, filled with water, and went down.

  Some made for the lifeboat, others for pieces of floating timber. Thestorm still continued with increasing fury. The sky was black as pitch,and the waves the size of mountains. Planks, hencoops, and otherfragments of the wreck were floating about in all directions. Most ofthe crew, if not all, must have been swallowed up by the waves, for, asI looked around me, I saw no one. As for myself, I kept afloat on a caskof grog, and thus I was left to the mercy of the winds and waves. Up onewave, down another, still I held on to my cask of grog, out of whichevery now and then I'd take a drop, just to keep out the cold; then,replacing the bung, remounted my cask, and was contented with whateverdirection the waves chose to toss me. The lightning flashed and thethunder growled around me.

  It was for all the world like being inside an immense big drum, and DavyJones drumming outside. As I was being dashed to and fro by themerciless billows, I thought I heard, mingled with the dying tones ofthe thunder, the sound of a harp and singing. Could it be fancy? Ilistened again. No. I was quite sure this time my ears did not deceiveme. The notes grew more and more clear, the voice more and moredistinct. Yet, who could it be? There was no land near for hundreds ofmiles. It could be no mortal harper that touched those chords. I lookedaround me in wonderment, but saw nothing. At length I was carried to thetop of a tremendous wave, and as I was sliding down the other side of itastride my cask of grog, I perceived coming towards me from the oppositewave a female form, beautiful as Venus, and naked to the waist.

  Good Heavens! it was a mermaid. Yes, there could be no mistake. Hergolden tresses fluttered in the breeze, and every now and then I caughta glimpse of a large dolphin-like tail of a greenish hue, that, at everymovement she made, gleamed like silver. We could not help meeting eachother; so, as I was always gallant towards the fair sex, I saluted her.Heavens! What eyes! What teeth! What features! But above all, her smile.

  Gentlemen, I assure you her beauty was divine. Talk about sentiment! Butwords are wanting to express even the thousandth part of her charms.Enough, gentlemen, that all that is innocent, virtuous, and heavenly,was expressed in that smile she gave me.

  "Angel of Beauty!" I exclaimed, "whatever your name, your parentage,your birthplace, I vow----"

  "Toughyarn, Toughyarn," said a voice within me, "don't make an old foolof yourself. Mermaids are deceitful and dangerous, however beautiful,as you will find out to your cost before long. Think of your age, yourposition. Is it likely you can excite a genuine passion in any maid? Forshame, sir. How can you appear romantic in her eyes, astride a grogcask. Only reflect a little."

  But I would not reflect. I stifled the voice within me, and, abandoningmyself to the impulse of my passion, pressed my hand to my heart, andwas about to burst out afresh, when the fair one, fixing her large deepblue eyes upon me--deep as the Mediterranean in a calm--with asupernaturally winning smile, addressed me thus, in tones to which thesoftest music was discord:

  "Welcome, Captain Toughyarn, to our haunts. Welcome to the MermaidGrotto of pearl and coral, to my father's palace. It is long that weawait you. We have heard much of your exploits by sea, and we are allimpatient to make the acquaintance of a hero so illustrious."

  "What!" I cried; "you have heard of me and expected me, O fair one?"

  "Yes, captain, our Sybil has prophesied your arrival here, and yourvisit to our palace. Oh, she told me many things about you that she hasseen in vision. The mutiny of your crew, your first mate struck withblindness when about to take your life. The loss of your second matewhile reefing a sail. Your release by one of the crew, after having beenbound to the mast; the wreck of your vessel; and, finally, our meeting,which tallies in the minutest particulars."

  "What!" I exclaimed, in extreme astonishment, "all this she saw--eventhe grog barrel?"

  "All--everything," replied my charmer; "but follow me, and lose no time;we all await you below."

  So saying, she beckoned to me with the most bewitching smile, andfloundered away from me, lashing her tail playfully as she went, andtouching the chords of her harp, sang so sweetly, so divinely, somesubmarine ditty about fairy palaces, halls of coral, and fairmermaidens, that all resistance was vain.


  "Don't be weak, Toughyarn," said the voice again; "resist her wiles, bedeaf to her song."

  But I was deaf only to the voice that warned me.

  "Divine enchantress," I cried, "I will follow you wherever you go."

  A wave now dashed me forward till I found myself by her side.

  "Are you really willing to accompany me?" she asked, with a gleam thatmade me feel--I don't know how.

  "To the utmost corners of the earth," I replied.

  "And even to the depths of the ocean?" she asked.

  "Even there," I replied. "Anywhere, anywhere with thee, for _I lovethee_."

  The murder was out. She heaved a sigh, and her head sank on my shoulder.

  "Take care, Toughyarn," said the voice; "be warned ere it be too late."This was the last time the voice spoke to me. It _was_ too late.

  "And do you really love me?" she asked, gazing up into my face, herlarge blue eyes filling with tears.

  "With all my heart and soul," I replied.

  "And are you prepared to give me a proof of your love?"

  "Any proof you may desire, my angel," I answered. "What is it?"

  "I mean," she said, "would you be ready to make a _very greatsacrifice_?"

  "Anything," I replied; "anything for thee."

  "Generous mortal!" she exclaimed, and she sobbed aloud.

  The sight of beauty in tears always moved me. I was deeply touched atthis outburst of grief on the part of my charmer, and did all I could tosoothe and comfort her. I put my arm round her delicate waist; sheoffered no resistance, so, clasping her to my breast, I--I--well,gentlemen--I kissed her. The lightning played around me; the thundercrackling, threatened to break the drum of my ear, but I saw nothing, Iheard nothing; I was unconscious of everything around me in that longloving kiss.

  My lips seemed glued to hers. I thought I should never be able to tearmyself away. I felt her heart beat violently against my waistcoat. Myblood tingled in my fingers and toes with the intensity of my passion. Ino longer felt cold, for I bore a fire within.

  When I at length removed my lips from hers, with a prodigious smack, shefell fainting in my arms. It was as if her whole soul had been pouredforth in that one kiss, and there was none left to re-animate the frailform. I sprinkled some of her native element in her face, and sherecovered.

  I petted and caressed her, clasped her again and again to my breast,while she clung round my neck, confessing her love for me, and beggingme never to desert her. Oh, the rapture of those moments! She vowed thatI was all in all to her, that she had never loved before, and nevershould again; that she was mine, body and soul, and that if I everceased to love her, she should die.

  She called me her own dear Toughyarn, her hero, her "beau ideal," herlover, her husband. She said that I was her master, and that she wouldbe my slave for life.

  I vowed that I was unworthy to pick off the seaweed that adhered to hertail. At the word "tail," she heaved a deep sigh, and, glancing at mylower extremities, burst into a fresh flood of tears. I was unable toaccount for these weeping fits, to which she seemed subject.

  "Some female caprice," thought I; "nothing more."

  "What ails thee, my beloved?" I said, tenderly. "Say why, O bewitchingenchantress, do those pearl drops continue to pay their tiny tribute tothe great ocean?"

  "Oh!" she cried to herself, clasping her hands and looking upward, "Ifeel the sacrifice is _too_ great. It will cost him dearly; but has henot promised?"

  "Promised!" I muttered. "What is this sacrifice, I wonder, that sherequires of me? What can it be but always to live with her in her ownhome, under the sea. When once my soul is united with hers," I reasoned,"we shall be one being. I shall be able to live under the water as wellas on _terra firma_. And what have I to make me wish to return to land?I am a widower without family. I've no fortune, in fact, I am all but aruined man, and I feel anxious to begin a new phase of existence. Thesacrifice, after all, is not so great. What does it matter to me where Ilive, as long as I can bask the livelong day in the sunshine of suchbeauty?"

  I felt that that long ambrosial kiss, the intensity of which had soexhausted my beloved, had imparted to me a new life. I no longer dreadedor believed in the possibility of being drowned. I felt an intensedesire to behold the wonders of the deep, and visit those palaces ofcoral and mother-of-pearl that I had so often heard of, so seizing mybeloved by the waist, I exclaimed,

  "Come, O joy of my soul; lead me to the hall of thy father. Let usplunge into the turbulent billows. I thirst for thy element. I feelirresistibly drawn down by some new power that has come over me."

  "Follow me, then, my beloved," she said, and with one splash disappearedbeneath the waves.

  To kick away my grog cask and plunge in after her was the work of amoment. I dived down, down, down, till I caught up my charmer, and weboth dived together side by side. Down, down, down, deeper, deeper, anddeeper, still we dived through forests of seaweed, startling away allsorts of curiously formed fish and sea monsters in our rapid course.

  I thought I should never get to the bottom. At length, after longcontinued diving, I thought I descried gleaming through the waters, themother-of-pearl roofs and pinnacles of various edifices; nor was Ideceived, for as I dived deeper, I could distinguish a great city, builtin a wild, weird, grotesque style of architecture, thoroughly new to me,yet grand in design, far above human conception.

  There were castles on rocks, both the rock and the castle being formedout of one immense piece of coral, either white or red. The rock washollowed out by nature, and natural staircases of the same materialbranched off in different directions, and led to the castle above. Therewere grottoes of mother-of-pearl, bridges of clustering and festoonedcoral, intermixed with common rock, and overgrown in parts by largequaint sea plants, which hung down in long creepers, entangling andfestooning themselves, crossing and recrossing each other, andcommunicating the upper part of the city with the lower, the town beingbuilt partly on hills, and partly in the valleys.

  Immense pits and hollows in what in other cities would have been theroad, appeared to lead to some part of the city below. Crowds of theinhabitants were seen emerging from these grottoes, and disappearingthrough others. Several were seated in chariots of mother-of-pearl andturtle-shell, drawn by some hideous sea monster. There were mermen,bearded and muscular, bearing in their hands tridents; troops ofmermaids of every conceivable variety of beauty, from the blue eyes andflaxen hair of the north, to the dark, Oriental type. Gigantic zoophytesand sea anemones opened their petals at us from every parapet. Music andsinging was heard everywhere, and the submarine grottoes echoed with thestrains of fair mermaidens. Groups of dancers surrounded us as wedescended, twisting their lithesome bodies into all sorts of elegant andfantastic attitudes; beautiful mer-children sported with the mosthideous sea monsters it was possible to conceive.

  The city seemed wealthy, the inhabitants contented, and yet there waslittle or no sign of industry amongst them. All the houses and palaceswere evidently formed by the hand of nature, save where here and there awindow or a mother-of-pearl roof or pavement betrayed manual skill.Money, as I ascertained, was an article unknown to the submarines. Theyhad few wants, and lived peacefully among themselves.

  As my fair bride and I swam through the streets of this great citytogether, my appearance attracted great curiosity. The children werefrightened, and darted away into some grotto hard by. I heard an oldwhite-bearded merman, who had, doubtless, seen a great deal in his day,call out, "A landman! a landman!"

  I began to feel fatigued after diving so long, and was greatly relievedwhen my companion halted in front of a large portico with pillars of themost delicate pink coral, and said, "This is my father's palace."

  The mer-princess (for her father was no less than a king), instead ofknocking at the door, ran her fairy-like fingers over the strings of herlyre, and wrung from its cords such a wild and unearthly strain, that itseemed like the distant wail of souls in purgatory.

  The door was opened by an imm
ense shark, standing on the tip of histail. He opened and shut his huge mouth at us by way of salute, as weentered the hall, which was paved with mother-of-pearl, inlaid with palecoral and turtle-shell. My fair one conducted me through many passagesand corridors, the roofs and walls of which were covered over with everysort of curious and beautiful shell found under the sea, till at lengthwe entered the dais chamber of the king, and I was introduced to hismajesty, and to his serene consort, who both received me graciously.

  Formalities over, a richly liveried mer-attendant announced that theroyal sea-serpent, harnessed to the state carriage, awaited theirmajesties' pleasure. The mer-king affably offered me the use of hiscarriage, which I gladly accepted. Their majesties, Lurline, and myselfdescended the stairs, and passing the portal, stepped into a magnificentcar or chariot, formed of mother-of-pearl and turtle-shell, the wheelsbeing of gold and embossed all over with the most exquisite preciousstones. The coachman, or charioteer, was a stout merman, with a trident,with which he began to goad the enormous sea-serpent, who, rearing andplunging, bid fair to upset us all. However, the skilful driver, drawingthe reins, made of strong seaweed, studded with pearls, kept him inabeyance. We then visited all the chief temples and other publicbuildings, and his majesty's parks and hunting grounds, chatting all thetime pleasantly with my beloved Lurline, and after having spent a mostenjoyable day, we returned towards evening to the palace.

  It was the dinner hour. About a hundred harps from below struck up alively air, in lieu of a dinner bell.

  "Captain Toughyarn," said the king, "will you take down the PrincessLurline?"

  I bowed, and offered my arm, and we swam into the dining hall. It was along and lofty apartment, with festoons of white and red coral pendentfrom the arched roof. The walls were ornamented with choice shells inpatterns, and the floor covered with a matting of plaited seaweed. Thefurniture was of mother-of-pearl and turtle-shell.

  His majesty headed the table; his royal consort, who had come downdressed for dinner in necklaces of immense pearls, sat opposite to him.Other members of the blood royal, as well as some distinguished guests,were also present. We were waited upon by sea monsters, who handed roundlarge open shells in their mouths, which served as plates.

  A saw-fish brought me a knife and fork, a porpoise changed the plates, adolphin entered with the larger dishes, and a young whale handed roundthe vegetables, which consisted of different sorts of seaweed. Thedinner was chiefly of fish, varied with albatross and sea gull, thefirst course being oysters, by way of whetting the appetite.

  The king was pleased to ask me about my adventures, so I entertained thewhole dinner table with a recital of them. The queen smiled benignantlyon me, and the beautiful Lurline gazed into my face with an expressionof the most undisguised admiration.

  I felt myself quite the lion of the day, and had the conversation all tomyself. During the repast a bevy of fair mermaidens swam round and roundthe hall, and over our heads, pouring forth divine melodies on the harp.

  Towards the close of the meal his majesty entered into the particularsof his own family history, and the great deeds of his ancestors, which Ishall not weary your patience, gentlemen, by retailing.

  The dinner being at an end, we left the apartment, and the sea monsters,after devouring everything that was left, cleared away the plates. Westrolled into the garden, which was filled with every imaginable varietyof sea plants. Some grew up like palm trees and tree ferns, others weretrained up against a wall, while others hung gracefully over theverandah of the palace, after the manner of creepers. Large shells,filled with sand, served as flower pots, and contained, as his majestyassured me, plants of extraordinary rarity. I forget their crack-jawnames.

  A sword-fish acted as head gardener; he was digging away with hisproboscis as we entered, and a saw-fish was raking the flower beds.

  It was already evening, and was getting dark. The king ordered thesaloon to be lighted up, when two lusty mermen brought the lamps, whichthey hung in the corners of the apartment, and which consisted ofshells, to each of which were attached three chains of pearls, the bowlof the lamp being filled with those phosphoric animalcula that are to beseen at night round the prow of a vessel when the keel disturbs them asit ploughs its course through the ocean.

  The saloon being lighted, musicians were called. They were of bothsexes; sturdy mermen, with gongs and sea horns; those of the gentler sexwith harps. I was asked if I could dance, and replying that I couldafter the fashion of my country, the music struck up a merry tune, and anumber of fair sirens insisted on me joining in the dance.

  The dance commenced; it was a curious step, consisting of a wriggle ofthe upper part of the body, and a splash with the tail. They formed acircle, each taking hold of the other's hand, closing and wideningseveral times; then letting go of hands, each dived down head foremost,their fingers touching the ground, flapping their tails upwards.

  They went through all sorts of fantastic steps, which I tried hard toimitate, and my failures were the cause of much merriment. I was askedwhether I would favour them with a dance of my country, so I danced thehornpipe. With this they were delighted, and wanted it repeated. I hadto dance it again, and again, to please them.

  Refreshments were handed round by the same sea monsters, and the eveningwound up with games--hide and seek, blind man's buff--and otheramusements.

  The queen said she was glad to see me enjoy myself so much. Onebewitching young siren, fixing her dark eyes upon me, and then lookingdown with a sigh, said it was pleasing to see such a great hero as I wascondescending to take part in their humble games. Another hoped that Iwas in no hurry to leave them, as she was looking forward to many suchpleasant evenings. A third mermaid wished that she had been born withlegs, in order to learn the hornpipe. A fourth hoped I should sleep wellafter my fatigue.

  The party at length broke up, and as I was the lion of the evening, Istationed myself near the door to shake hands with all the prettymermaids as they swam out of the saloon. I gave a gentle squeeze toeach, and I am certain that if not all, at least the greater part ofthose young ladies, went to bed in love with me that night. But what ofLurline? I must not forget _her_. The fact was I did not like to be toopointed in my attentions, lest it should excite suspicion, for as yether parents knew nothing of our attachment, so I appeared rather toneglect her than otherwise.

  Poor child! she retired to rest unhappy that night, fancying that I hadbecome estranged towards her. I had no opportunity for an explanation,and after quitting the saloon was shown to my bedroom by a mer-servantgirl.

  The walls and ceiling of my bed-chamber were covered over with handsomeshells, the floor inlaid with mother-of-pearl and coral, over which wasa carpet of variegated seaweed, plaited in a pattern. The bed posts wereinlaid with mother-of-pearl, agate, lapis lazuli, and other rare stones.The mattress was of very soft sponge, and the counterpane one broadpiece of seaweed.

  Having undressed, I blew out the candle; that is to say, I smashed theanimalcula inside the shell that the servant girl brought me in lieu ofa candlestick, and tucking myself up I tried to sleep, but was hauntedall night by the bright eyes of Lurline.

  Towards morning I fell into a light sleep, from which I was roused bythe dulcet tones of a harp at my door and the enchanting voice ofLurline singing. I leaped from my couch, donned my clothes, and welcomedher with a kiss on the sly.

  "Cruel one!" she said, "I thought you had ceased to love me."

  "_I_ cease to love thee, sweetest! Never!"

  "You are quite sure you love me, then?" she said. "And you will neverdesert me?"

  "Desert thee! my angel," said I. "Do you think I could be so base?"

  "Hush!" she whispered. "Here comes mamma," and she dived downstairs.

  "Lurline, Lurline," cried her majesty, who had overheard every word ofour conversation. "Lurline, come here; I wish to speak with you."

  Up swam Lurline again, pale with fright. She entered her mother's room,and the queen turned the key. I heard the mother's voice
within speakingangrily, and half-an-hour afterwards Lurline left the chamber, sobbing.

  I came forward to soothe her, but she motioned me away, and put herfinger to her lip. I dived after her downstairs, resolved to hear theworst. It seems her mother had scolded her for flirting; said she wastoo young to marry; that I was too old for her; that she knew nothing ofmy family; and that she must not fix her affections upon anyone who wasnot of royal blood.

  "Here, then," thought I, "among this simple primitive people, there isas much aristocratic pride as in our more civilised countries."

  What was to be done? Relinquish Lurline for a foolish piece of barbarouspride. I couldn't and wouldn't. There was nothing left me but to speakto his majesty; assume as much dignity as I could and boast of mypedigree.

  At breakfast I thought both the king and queen cold towards me, but Iappeared not to notice it, and talked away fluently about my country, myfamily, and insinuated, rather than said outright, that I was of royalblood.

  Their manner towards me grew by degrees less frigid, and after breakfastI followed his majesty to his dais chamber, and proposed for hisdaughter's hand. He demurred for a long time, but I declared that in myown country I, too, had been a king; that I had been driven from mythrone by my rebellious subjects; that, growing disgusted with ruling, Ihad sought refuge from _ennui_ in a life of adventure.

  His majesty, like his people, being of a simple nature, believed all Isaid, and left me, saying he would think about it and talk to the queen.I saw him from the window shortly afterwards in earnest conversationwith her majesty in the garden. I burned to know the result of theirinterview.

  In the course of the day one of the queen's mermaids-of-honour informedme that her majesty desired to speak with me. I entered into herpresence trembling.

  She accosted me thus, "Captain Toughyarn, his majesty has alreadyacquainted me with your proposal, but before we give our consent to amarriage with our daughter, even after your assertion that you are ofroyal blood, we must know you a little longer. Marriages are not to becontracted in a hurry. You did very wrong to engage our daughter'saffections without first consulting us in the matter. It was an insultto our royal self. However, let that pass; it is too late now. Mydaughter seems thoroughly to have set her affections upon you. I havelectured her severely for her imprudence; but the matter seems to havegone so far, that I fear to break her heart if I peremptorily refuse togive my consent to this marriage. If my daughter will take my advice,she will, upon reflection, break off this match. You'll excuse me,Captain Toughyarn, for saying that I think your age a decidedobjection."

  "As regards my age, your majesty," I said, "the men of my country getgrey and bald at thirty, though they maintain their healthful vigour toa prolonged period. I myself am thirty-six." (I would not say that I wassixty-three.)

  Her majesty looked incredulous, and then a momentary smile crossed herfeatures, as if she were having a joke all to herself, but she stifledit immediately.

  "There is another thing, Captain Toughyarn," said her majesty, "thatperhaps you may not be aware of. Marriages between your race and oursare extremely rare. When they occur some sacrifice is always expected onthe part of the gentleman, just by way of proving his love," and sheglanced at my legs as she spoke. I did not quite understand her meaning.

  "Sacrifice--sacrifice," I said to myself. "Ah! yes," said I, aloud;"your majesty does not wish that your daughter should leave her houseand visit my country. Is it not so?"

  "That is part of the conditions, but not all," said her majesty.

  "And what else might your majesty be pleased to exact from me?" I asked.

  "Well," she said, with a smile and a second glance at my legs, "weshould like you--we expect you to--to--to become in fact, like one ofus--to conform----"

  "Oh, quite so," I said, without as yet catching her meaning thoroughly;"to conform--yes--certainly--to all the customs of the country I haveadopted."

  "To _all_ of them, mind?"

  "Yes."

  "Then you consent to this trifling sacrifice. You have no objectionto--to be operated upon?"

  "Operated upon!" I cried in astonishment. "What?--How?--I don't quitecatch your majesty's meaning."

  "Well, Captain Toughyarn," said her majesty, "if I _must_ be moreexplicit, the fact is, that legs are out of fashion here, only tails areworn in this country. If you really wish to marry our daughter, you mustsubmit to an operation."

  "W-h-e-w!" whistled I, the real nature of the sacrifice dawning upon mefor the first time. "So that is your meaning!"

  "Precisely. Do you refuse?"

  Now, I always prided myself particularly on my legs. In my youth theywere the admiration of the sex; even now they are far from contemptible,and to give them in exchange for a tail was of all things the furthestfrom my thoughts. I did not know what to answer.

  At length I asked, "And this operation--how is it performed, yourmajesty?"

  "Oh, it is simple enough," was the reply. "A surgeon is called, whoamputates the lower extremities; a dolphin or other large fish isprocured, which, after being killed, is cut in half, and the tail halfof the fish is bound to that part of your body still suffering from theoperation, until the parts unite, and the transformation is complete."

  "I am infinitely obliged to your majesty," said I, "but I hope you willpardon me if I refuse to comply with this last condition. Legs such asmine are extremely prized in my country; in fact, they are only to befound in those of the blood royal, and I really could not consent topart with such a very strong mark; indeed, perhaps, the only mark ofroyalty about my person."

  "Then you refuse?"

  "Absolutely," said I, bowing.

  "In that case," said the queen, "I must talk to his majesty, to see whatcan be done."

  The queen rose. I bowed, and left the apartment.

  Shortly afterwards I heard the king's voice in great wrath, calling out,"What! he won't sacrifice his legs? Did you say he _won't_? _Won't_,indeed! I'll let him know who the mer-king is. He comes here uninvited,wheedles himself into our daughter's affections, and then his love isfound wanting at the proof. He won't even give up his hideous legs, andwear a respectable tail for _her_ sake. By my trident, he shall for_mine_. I'll tail him. Here, Thomas!" That was the name of the sharkthat opened the door for us. "What ho! Thomas, bite off that insolentstranger's legs this instant. Come, make haste, and lose no time aboutit."

  I happened to be looking out of my bedroom window at the time, which wasopen. At these words I plunged through the casement and struck outupwards. I had not proceeded very far--though in all my life I neverstruck out as I did then--when I heard the palace door open and thesplash of the huge monster behind me. I struck out upwards, upwards,ever upwards, but the immense fish was at my heels with the rapidity oflightning.

  Truly, I thought my last moment was at hand. With the energy thatdespair alone gives, I struck out so frantically, that even the sharkhad hard work to keep up with me, but I was fast getting exhausted.

  What should I do when completely so? There seemed no hope for me.

  "While strength lasts, I'll use it," said I, to myself, and struck outmore desperately than ever, but the shark gained upon me, nevertheless.

  At length, after repeated exertions, my head appeared once more abovewater. Once more I felt the fresh breeze on my bald pate.

  "Thank heaven!" I cried.

  There was a vessel in sight, not far off. I hailed her, bawling out withall my might and main, still swimming furiously. The shark was nownearer than ever. He had already turned on his back, preparatory tobiting off my legs, and the ship though she had noticed my distress, andwas coming fast to my rescue, was not sufficiently near as yet to saveme.

  I felt the tip of the monster's nose against my shoe. I lunged out atremendous kick, which ought to have sent several of its teeth down itsthroat; at any rate, it sent him backward about a foot. Meanwhile, Istruck out more fiercely than ever, but the brute recovered itself andwas at me again.

  My strength
was now quite exhausted. How I managed to hold out so longpuzzles me now. I was about to sink from sheer exhaustion. In anothermoment my legs must have been off, had not one of the officers of theship thrown out a rope, which I clutched eagerly, and being speedilyhauled on deck, the monster was baulked of its prey.

  Whilst yet dangling in air, before my feet had time to touch the deck, Iheard a "bang," and, looking behind me, to my intense relief, I saw thecorpse of my dread foe bobbing up and down in the waves, and stainingthe water with his blood.

  "So much for Thomas," thought I.

  The sailors were just about to lug it on board, when at this juncture Iawoke.

  Lucky for me that my flight was so precipitate. If _she_ had crossed mypath at the last moment I thoroughly believe the very sight of her sweetface would have made me consent to the operation. Poor Lurline! But whatis the use of giving way to sensibility, gentlemen? And, as to losingone's legs, it is bad enough to lose them in an engagement for thehonour and glory of one's country, but to have them bitten off by ashark, or amputated by a mer-surgeon, at the caprice of a mer-king, anda fish's tail substituted in lieu thereof, is a thing that Toughyarncan't quite stomach.

  Supposing me to have been weak enough to have submitted to the operationat the tears and entreaties of Lurline, it becomes a very differentmatter when my limbs are exacted as a forfeiture, and imperiouslydemanded by an infuriated parent.

  Toughyarn may be as weak as a child in the hands of a pretty woman, buthe won't be _forced_ to anything by the greatest tyrant that everexisted.

  * * * * *

  "Bravo, Toughyarn!" cried all the company, with one voice.

  This enthusiasm was as much in praise of the sentiment that the captainhad wound up with as for the story itself.

  "I knew the captain wouldn't be beaten in a yarn by the best of us,"said Hardcase, "although he did find mine rather difficult to swallow."

  Cheers and rattling of glasses followed, and the captain's health wasdrunk with due honours, after which the chairman rose and addressed thecompany thus:

  "Most honourable and august members and guests of the Wonder Club, youwill all allow that the gallant captain has amply expiated his offence.There is, however, an individual present who has been guilty of the sameoffence as the captain, and who has not yet undergone the penanceexpected from him by our club."

  All eyes were turned towards the little comedian who blushed andlaughed.

  "Need I point out that individual, gentlemen?"

  Cries of "No, no!"

  "Now, Jollytoast, for your turn, old boy," said the tragedian.

  "Hear, hear!" cried other members.

  "Gentlemen," continued Mr. Oldstone, "our time is short; the clock hasalready struck two, and I have observed more than one yawn from amongstthe company. It will be my painful duty to dismiss this genial meeting,but I cannot conscientiously do so without first performing an act ofjustice to the company. I, therefore, sentence Mr. Jollytoast to a comicsong before our meeting breaks up." (Cheers and laughter. Cries of"Hear, hear," and "Now then Jollytoast; a song, a song--Jollytoast for asong!")

  The little gentleman, thus addressed, begged for a moment's reflection,and then broke into a very merry ditty with a chorus, in which all hadto join. There was plenty of acting and grimace in it, with here andthere a part spoken, and any amount of "tooral-looral" in the chorus.

  The song being ended, our comic friend was much applauded, and thechairman, in a short speech, expressed himself satisfied with theexpiation, and, wishing all the company a "good night," and many moresuch genial meetings, was about to retire, when Captain Toughyarn calledout, "Avast! there, chairman. You are never going to dismiss the crewwithout splicing the main brace first!"

  "True, true, captain," said the president; "besides the health of oursublime warbler, Mr. Jollytoast, has not been drunk yet. Fill yourglasses, gentlemen, and drink to the health of Mr. Jollytoast."

  Shouts and yells ensued, during which our comic guest's health was drunkwith three times three, to which he responded in a short and laughablespeech that called forth more cheering.

  "And now, gentlemen," said the chairman, "after having spent the tenthanniversary of our club in the company of mermaids, sea monsters,ghouls, spirits, and phantom fleas, how can we do better than wind upthis honourable meeting by joining hands and singing that song composedby one of our members--now, alas! no more--to be sung at theinauguration of the Wonder Club?"

  The proposal was received with applause, and all the company joininghands, our host included, sung the following ditty:--

  SONG OF THE WONDER CLUB.

  As we join hand in hand Let us sing to our band, And lift up our voice in a ditty; May memories well stored E'er enliven our board With the wondrous, the weird, and the witty.

  Let each thirsty soul Round the merry punch bowl Drink deep to our brotherhood's founding, And loud be the cheers That resound in the ears Of the member with tale most astounding.

  Round the merry Yule flame May our band of the same Meet year after year in their niches, And list as of yore To our tales by the score Of phantoms, wraiths, goblins, and witches.

  Then our song's jocund sound, When our nectar flows round, Sure Olympus was never so merry. Right jovial our crew, Whate'er be the brew, Whether brandy, port, whisky or sherry.

  Now whate'er befall, Here's a "good-night" to all, May Queen Mab with her train cheer our slumber; And with one last toast, Let us drown every ghost, Or goblin, or ghoul, in a bumper.

  The song at an end, a last bumper was drunk by way of a nightcap, andeach gallant member or guest walked, or staggered, as the case might be,off to bed.

  "Ho, steward!" cried the captain, to the landlord; "douse the glims, andshow the passengers to their cabins. Where have you slung my hammock?"

  Our host provided candles for each of his guests, and bidding them all"good-night," gave a yawn, and followed the example of the rest.