by L. P. Dillon
Payton glanced at me and I returned the look, expecting her to offer me an explanation, or at least talk about something else and throw me off track, but she did neither of those things.
Shrugging her shoulders, she gave me a look of resignation. "I'm tired of hiding this shit. I’ve had to do it too long already, and besides, you’ll find out everything at the meeting tomorrow.”
Taken aback by her honesty, my mouth parted in shock. Over the last few days, I had questioned whether or not I actually knew my best friend at all, or if I could even trust her anymore. But her frustration was definitely genuine, making my mind race as to what all the secrecy could be about. With nothing to go on, I had no idea. The only thing I knew for sure was since we arrived, something was off about the people here and the whole place in general.
Sitting back, I pulled myself out of my thoughts and listened when Connor and Jesse spoke again.
"She could do that, but to be honest, I don't even care. I've decided after, Aubrey's meeting tomorrow, I'm going to challenge Chase for future command," Jesse said, picking up a pint of beer and a glass of champagne, then stepping towards Payton and me. After he handed Payton the champagne, he gave me the beer. “Here you go, Darlin’.”
"Thank you,” I said, and he started towards the bar once more. “Um, Jesse?" I said, drawing his attention to me.
"Yes?"
"What do you mean, challenge Chase for future command?"
"Don't worry about it now, Darlin’. After tomorrow, everything will be out in the open and we can discuss it all. If you want, we can stay up all night, and I’ll answer any questions you have and erase any concerns flooding your mind. I’m just sorry you have been kept in the dark for so long. I have no idea why they’ve done things the way they have.” He made his way back to the bar and took his drink from the counter, then took a seat at the dining table. "Shall we order?"
There were already loads of questions in my head, and I wanted to ask him every single one of them right now, but one more day wasn’t too long to wait. I just wanted answers now. Patience has never been my strong suit, but I'll do my best to just enjoy today and worry about everything else tomorrow.
When Payton and I took our seats at the dining table, we let the guys know what we wanted, and they went to place our orders. Silence stretched between us while I tried to build up the courage to ask her the question, I felt I needed the answer to.
After several seconds, I met her eyes. "Payton? I'm not going to ask you what this is all about, even though I am itching to know, but I do need to ask you one thing. Have you kept this secret from me for a long time?” I made sure my tone was calm so that she knew I could take whatever her answer might be.
Payton looked away for a second and sighed, but eventually, he met my eyes again. "Don't be mad at me, Brie, and trust me, I always wanted to tell you. I hated keeping it from you, but I had no choice. Please believe me, she begged.
Closing my eyes, I counted to ten, trying to calm the bout of rage that flew through me. I hadn’t expected the anger, but it came anyway. "So, this is all connected? It's something that has been kept from me for years?"
She gave me a somber nod, regret and guilt swallowing the features on her face. I knew I could get more out of her then, but before I could ask another question, the guys appeared, and since I didn’t want to ruin the day, I left it alone.
Tomorrow is a new day, and today, all I cared about was enjoying whatever time I had with Jesse and my best friend. And Connor, too, I guessed.
After dinner, Connor drove us back to the dorm, but before we got there, I decided I didn’t want the night to end, so I pulled my cell from my pocket and sent Jesse a text. I didn't want the night to end, so I took out my phone from my pocket and sent Jesse a text.
I don't want to go back to the dorm. Can we go somewhere, just us two?
His phone buzzed in his pocket and he took it out, read the message and began typing a message back.
Where you wanna go, Darlin’?
I smiled as I read the text, think of the way he would say that to me. Then I messaged back.
Anywhere, as long as it's with you x
I watched as a grin spread across his face, his small dimples getting deeper. His fingers moved over his phone, so I stared at mine, waiting for the next text to come through.
Okay, when Connor drops me off at my house, ask if you can use the restroom.
I furrowed my brow, wondering what he was planning, but I didn't care. The idea of spending the night with him trumped any other feelings.
Okay!
We pulled up outside Jesse's large house and said our goodbyes, but just as he got out of the car, I started bouncing in my seat. "I'm so sorry, but I think I drank too much beer. I really need to pee. Could I use your bathroom please, Jesse?"
Payton narrowed her eyes at me, seeing right through my lie, but I just shrugged, plastering an innocent look on my face while I continued wiggling in my seat. Rolling her eyes at me, she turned and faced the front again, choosing to ignore me. I couldn’t have thanked her more.
"Um, can't you hold it?" Jesse asked, his voice filled with worry as he glanced towards his house with an uneasy expression.
Scowling at him only enticed him to smirk at me. I understood why he did it. The idiot wanted to make it look like he didn’t want me going in his house. It made sense.
I played along to make it as believable as possible. "No, I can't. I'm gonna pee myself."
"Um, fine. But you have to be super quick. I don't know who's in there, or when my dad will be back. Come on." Jesse held his hand out for me, and I took it, sliding across the seat. He lifted me out of the Land Rover, lowering me to the ground in such a gentle way that my heart leapt in my chest.
Grabbing his hand once outside, I made sure to walk a little funny, as if each step made me about to piss my pants. When we finally reached the house, he opened the door and all but dragged me inside. As soon as he closed the door, he pushed me against it, smashing his lips to mine. My tongue didn't bother to gently enter his mouth but dove in there like an Olympic diver greeted instantly by his. We panted in perfect time, and our lips felt so soft together.
We kissed like our lives depended on it, and for a second, I felt like maybe they did.
Jesse pulled away from me, staring into my eyes while trying to catch his breath. My heavy breathing matched his, and it took everything in me not to march him right up the stairs and throw him on the first bed I could find. His chest heaved, my eyes were drawn to the muscles working under his shirt, but all I really wanted was for him to kiss me again.
He didn’t. Instead, he smiled at me, grabbed my hand, and tugged me along with him. We ducked through a door at the side of the house that led into a garage, and the first thing I saw was his BMW. Winking, he grabbed his keys and hit the unlock button, dropping my hand and rushing to the passenger door, holding it open.
"Get in. Hurry!" he said in a rush.
Giggling at his theatrics as he glided across the hood again, I jumped in the car, fastening my seatbelt as quickly as I could because I knew he wouldn’t start the car until I had. Once he took his seat, he started the engine, pressing a button on his keys to open the garage door, which all but crawled as it rose. Jesse didn’t wait for it to get to the top. As soon as there was enough room, he floored it, spinning his wheels as he sped out of the garage.
An angry Connor hopped out of his Land Rover, waving his hands in agitation at what we had done, trying to flag us down and get us to pull over, but Jesse only waved like he was sitting on a float in a parade as we flew past. Payton’s confused face didn’t go unnoticed, but I shrugged it off, knowing she could never be that mad at me for my antics.
Speeding out of the driveway, Jesse jerked the wheel to the left and drifted around a corner, almost like we were in one of those racing movies. My heart raced from the thrill of it all, and my jaw hurt from grinning so big. When Jesse’s hand found my thigh and squeezed it, a different kind
of thrill passed over me, and I had to admit I liked it a lot.
The fun I had with Jesse was incomparable. I wanted this feeling forever. And as we continued down the road, I realized I had no idea where we were going, and I didn’t care one bit as long as he was beside me.
After about an hour of driving, we pulled off the main road and turned down a private road, surrounded by so many trees I wouldn’t even have noticed it. Jesse must have known it was here. Since the sky was almost dark, the moonlight sparkled through the trees, creating a beautiful ambiance.
Usually, being out in the middle of nowhere with a virtual stranger would have made me nervous, but for some reason, I trusted Jesse, felt comfortable with him. He also made me feel safe, something I hadn’t felt with a guy in a long time.
Throwing my arm around the back of his seat, I turned to him. "Where are we going?"
"Don't be scared, Darlin’. I have a secret cabin my family knows nothing about out here. We’ll be able to be alone without worrying about anyone finding us.” He gave my thigh a squeeze.
"I'm not scared, just curious."
Flashing me a smile, his eyes turned back to the road. A few minutes passed and we finally came to a clearing in the trees, and a gasp escaped me as my gaze landed on the cabin.
Laughter flitted from Jesse, but I wasn’t laughing. I was in awe of the huge, rustic cabin sitting in the middle of a man-made circle of trees. Newly built, the modern front door drew my attention, as well as the intricate windows spaced in a way to let the perfect amount of sunlight, or moonlight in this case, shine through. The rustic feel yet modern design worked so well together, and I loved everything about it.
When Jesse put the car in park, I didn’t hesitate to get out. The air smelled clean and carried the scent of pine, so I took a deep breath, filling my lungs. Jesse came up behind me and held my hand, making my body surge with anticipation.
"Do you like it, Darlin’?" he whispered, his breath tickling my ear and sending goosebumps shooting down the back of my neck.
I turned to him and touched his firm stomach with my free hand, gazing into his stunning eyes. "Jesse, it's awesome."
"Not as awesome as you, Aubrey."
He bent down, his kiss gentle and sweet, soft and warm, and everything I’d ever wanted to feel I felt in that moment. Jesse and I were pieces of a puzzle, and we fit perfectly together. Being here with him, I felt whole.
Just as I was about to deepen our kiss, Jesse threw me over his shoulder. Giggles flew from me as he walked towards the cabin.
"You haven't seen the best part yet," he said, slapping my ass.
Even though it stung a little and made me jump, I didn’t complain. In fact, it took everything in me to hold in the moan threatening to escape.
At the top of the stairs, after he unlocked the door, Jesse crossed the threshold onto a beautiful foyer, but he didn’t stop. He continued into an open living room with high ceilings and plopped me into a beige couch in the corner of the room. A matching shag rug laid on the floor in front of me, and a coffee table sat over, the glossy, antique-wood color shimmering in the moonlight streaming through the double-pane windows.
"Oh my God Jesse, it's beautiful!" I yelled a little louder than I'd intended.
"Screaming out my name already, huh?" His eyebrows raised to his hairline.
Trying to seem unaffected by his comment, I rolled my eyes at him, but I could feel the heat hit my cheeks. Surely, they must be redder than a waxed apple at the grocery store.
"Just joking, Darlin’. Do you want a beer?" He asked, making his way into the kitchen area. Since the cabin had an open floor plan, I could see everything from where I sat. Perhaps that was why Jesse sat me there to begin with.
"Yes, please."
He went to the fridge and grabbed two beers, opened them, and brought them over, handing me one. He placed his own on a coaster sitting on the coffee table. Grabbing a few logs from a holder by the fireplace, he chucked them in, before lighting it. The wood crackled as it burned, filling the room with a wonderful aroma. When he was finished, he sat beside me, tucking his arm behind me on the couch and pulling me a bit closer.
Acting a little presumptuous, I kicked off my sneakers and pulled my legs up sideways on the couch, leaning over and snuggling my head against his chest while I watched the fire burn. His hand slipped around me even more and he stroked the top of my arm with his thumb. A content sigh slipped past my lips as I listened to the steady beat of his heart through his chest, my head rising and falling with every breath he took. The comfortable silence wrapped us up, and every so often, a crackle split the air, making it perfect.
The ringing of my phone in my pocket startled me. The screen told me it was Payton, and my shoulders slumped in defeat, knowing I needed to answer it but not wanting to. Sensing my hesitation, Jesse took the phone from me, declining the call. After he turned the ringer off, he tossed it lightly onto the table. Then he took my beer from me and set it on the table.
Glancing up to him, I could see he had something up his sleeves, and when he grabbed my hand and pulled me to my feet, I let him lead me up the stairs and to his bedroom.
Oh God, is this actually going to happen? Am I going to lose my virginity tonight? Am I even ready? Thoughts of panic mingled with excitement at the idea. I didn’t know what to expect. I'd done other things in the past, mainly trying to keep Kyle happy, but I never felt right going all the way with him. It was like somehow, I’d known he wouldn’t be in my life long, and that deep down I knew how bad he had treated me, even when I didn’t want to admit it. Going to Jesse’s bedroom was completely out of character for me. I didn’t ever meet someone and think about jumping into bed with them, but there was something about him, an undeniable connection I couldn’t ignore or deny.
Plus, the guy definitely made me feel things I’d never felt before.
My cheeks flushed at that thought, and I followed Jesse into his room, which was just as stunning as the downstairs. The giant bed took up almost the whole wall, the headboard a beige fabric with buttons pressed in it.
Scooping me up, Jesse walked me to the bed and laid me right in the middle. My eyes stayed on the ceiling, but I heard the thump of his shoes against the floor and felt the bed squish down when he climbed on it. The heat in my cheeks got even worse, and I bet I could fry an egg on it and not risk an ounce of salmonella poisoning. Even though I knew he was crawling his way to me, I couldn’t bring myself to look at him.
Jesse touched my chin, pulling my gaze his way. Shifting until he had one hand on each side of me, I flinched a bit when he dropped onto his elbows. Barely able to breathe, my heart was pounding so hard I could feel it in my forehead. At the time, I shook so hard from the nervous energy floating through me that my teeth almost clacked together.
When I met his eyes, it helped calm me a bit. Neither of us said a word, and I welcomed his soft lips on mine when he kissed me. A hushed moan fell from my lips, and I could feel his smile through his kiss.
Jerking away from me, he looked at me with concern etched into the creases around his eyes. "Are you okay, Darlin’? You’re shaking like a leaf."
My mouth was so dry, I didn’t think any words would come out. Searching his eyes, I pulled my arms up, covering my face with my palms, unable to meet his eyes when I confessed the truth, something that always embarrassed me anytime I had to talk about it.
"I haven't—I’ve never done this before..." I muttered.
He jumped off of me like a startled cat, sitting at the edge of the bed. My heart sank in my chest at the realization that I shouldn’t have told him. Humiliation swarmed me like a hive of bees after a honey jar. He didn’t want me now that he knew I was a virgin. Keeping my hands covering my face because I might burst into tears at any minute, I tried to swallow the huge lump in my throat. Such a reaction shouldn’t have been warranted, but I was about to give him my most prized possession, and instead, he ran from me. Not far, of course, since he was only sat at the edge of
the bed, but it still hurt the same.
Why wasn’t he saying anything, though? I wanted desperately to drop my hands away from my face and see what he was doing, but I was too much of a chicken. Frozen solid, I stayed there and waited.
It didn’t take much longer for the mattress to move, and I figured he’d gotten off the bed. Until he grabbed my wrists and tugged my hands away from my face, laughing when he saw I had my eyes squeezed shut.
"Darlin’, look at me," he said in his husky southern accent, and despite the situation, the sound of his voice still had my body tingling all over.
With a reluctant sigh, I inched my eyes open, then sat up and hugged my knees to my chest.
Jesse tilted his head at me. "You're a virgin?"
Dropping my forehead to my knees, I closed my eyes again. "Yes."
I thought he’d laugh at me. It wasn’t often one found a virgin cheerleader, after all. To my surprise, though, he came closer, stroking my cheek so I’d lift my head and look at him, which I did. Tears welled in my eyes, and I tried to keep them from spilling over. The last thing I needed was to cry. I was already humiliated enough without that.
"Aubrey, you have nothing to feel embarrassed about. It doesn't change how I feel about you. But I’m honored you would even consider me to be your first.”
Some of the nerves floated away at his words, and I offered him a soft smile.
"Look, we can take this as slow as you need to, or not at all. You are in complete control of this experience," he said calmly.
"I do want to; it's just I'm scared. What if I'm no good? What if I can't make you...you know?" I asked, my voice shaky.
"Aubrey, you have nothing to worry about. Just being around you turns me on. Christ, the way you say my name almost makes me cum in my pants," he explained, and I couldn't help but laugh. He waited for me to stop giggling before he continued. "I'm worried that if I hear you scream my name, I'm not going to be able to control myself. It will be over in seconds, and then I'll ruin your first time, have to move out of the country, and never be able to show my face again."
