Saving Della-Ray

by Le Carre, Georgia

  As he dropped down to the floor, breathless and bleeding out, I placed the gun on my lap and turned to Michael.

  He instantly dropped down to his knees, his hands together in a panicked plea. “Bone, I didn’t mean to harass her. I swear to fucking God. I was just going to scare her a little bit … but never hurt her. I have feelings for her too. I was just a bit angry at how she had treated me … She chose you over me, man and that hurts. You know how it is … Just please. There’s no need for this—we can just go our separate ways. I swear, I’ll never tell anyone, or even cross your path again.”

  “We need to wrap up and get out of here. We have a lot of explaining to do,” Yuri said.

  I gazed down at Michael as he covered his head, his entire body trembling with fear.

  I sent two bullets into him. One in his left arm and the other straight through his lungs.

  After wiping my prints, I handed the gun over to Jeremiah and walked out of the room. I then sat with Della-Ray as she made the call to say she’d been kidnapped.

  When she was done, she turned to me, tears in her eyes. “Will everything be okay now?”

  “I think so. But even if it’s not, I promise you that I’ll never leave you to face anything alone again.”

  A very long silence followed, as I waited for the response that would determine our future with each other.

  “Were you ever going to come back?” she asked with the blanket tightly around her and her gaze on the floor.

  “I was never going to leave you. It was going to take a few weeks, but I was always going to return, to ask you to come back with me.”

  “But in those weeks you were going to leave me thinking you were dead?” She turned to me.

  Dammit, I couldn’t take the tears in her eyes. I placed my hand softly on her face and delicately wiped her tears away. “I was, but only for a little while. Only until the news around my death became stale, because you would have been watched closely by the club for any foul play. And if they suspected that something was wrong, you would have been the one to be harassed in order to get me to reveal myself. I regret involving you in any of this. It was never my intention but—”

  “I tied your hands, didn't I?” She rose to her feet and just then, the sounds of sirens in the distance announced the approach of the cops. She turned to glance at me. “I don’t regret it,” she said. “Do you?”

  For the first time since we had gotten to the house, I breathed easy. “Never,” I replied. “Never. How can I, when I found you? I love you, Della Ray. I love you the way I’ve never loved another human being.”

  She turned to me then. “I love you too,” she said. “With all my heart, Gage Miller.”

  Her warmth and touch melted me in a way that I couldn’t believe was possible. I couldn’t hold back. With my hands on her face, I took her mouth with mine, and kissed her from the depths of my heart. At the delicious heat that consumed me, I felt the tears roll down from my eyes at this woman who had somehow become mine. “I will heal for you,” I promised her. “Thank you for giving me another chance to come back to life.” I let her go.

  Then I sprinted out through the back door.

  Della Ray

  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-59COFjB6Sk

  -lean on me-

  “Shouldn’t you wait until your face heals a little before you go to see Denise?” Nichole asked.

  “I want her to see me like this. The only good that can come out of getting battered is that she will pity me and let me keep Jess.”

  Nichole rubbed her palms together. “I never realized you were that Machiavellian.”

  I grinned at her through swollen lips. “I never needed to be before.”

  “Okay. Good luck and take care of yourself,” she whispered.

  “Thank you for taking care of Jess for me while I do this.”

  “I’m Jess’s godmother. I’ll always be here for you and her.”

  The next morning, I took the long flight to Ohio. During the trip, I gazed out of the window and thought of Gage and what we did to those men. I always thought of myself as a good person, someone who would never hurt another human being, but yesterday I found out that was a lie. I was more than capable of hurting another human being. I even took joy in seeing that bald monster blown to bits. Now I knew I was only good because I had never had to be bad.

  Denise lived with her boyfriend in a tiny house in a horrible part of town. She was drinking Gin and coke and the TV was blaring in the living room when I arrived. The place was a mess. It stank of cigarettes and sweat. I felt sad to see her like this. I remembered her the way she had been when we were children. I never thought then she would end up like this. She was so brave and strong.

  “What happened to your face?” she asked, moving into her living room.

  “Long story,” I said.

  “Sit down,” she invited carelessly, as she resumed her seat in front of the TV.

  I moved some pizza takeaway boxes and sat down next to her. “Can I turn the TV down a bit?”

  She took a drag from her cigarette. “You think you’re better than me?”

  I shook my head. “No, of course not.”

  “I was raped when I was twelve. I was raped,” she said fiercely.

  “I know,” I whispered sadly.

  She grabbed the remote and turned off the TV. “That’s my favorite program,” she said bitterly.

  “I can wait. Watch it first. We’ll talk afterwards.”

  “No. Say what you have to say and go.”

  “Do you ever think of Mom and Dad?”

  She took a swallow of her drink. “What’s the point? They’re dead.”

  I had a clear image of the police officers that come to take us from our home that day when they were killed in a freak car accident. I saw again the expression on my sister’s face before she began screaming at them to get out of the house.

  “I think of them all the time,’ I whispered.

  “I don’t,” she said harshly.

  “Do you know Dad always loved you best? No matter how hard I tried to make him love me more, he always loved you best.”

  She killed her cigarette in an ashtray overflowing with cigarettes and looked away from me. “I don’t want to talk about the past.”

  “Why? Are you afraid Dad is looking down on you?”

  She whirled her head around. “If you have come here to ask me whether you can keep Jess, you’re going about it the wrong way.”

  “Jess is twenty-five percent Dad, Denise. If he is looking, he would have been proud of her. He would never ever give her up for adoption. He would have said, she’s the child of my child. My favorite child.”

  “You’re so full of bullshit,” she said, but her voice sounded odd.

  “Do you know, Denise that Jess will probably never have a boyfriend, never marry, be in and out of hospital all through her childhood, and she leaves this world before she’s thirty.”

  She stood up and started pacing the small space.

  I went on, “I just want to give her what we never had. I want to give her a home. I want to protect her so she won’t be raped by a stranger the way you were while she is moving through the care system. Do you know how many children disappear while they’re in the care system in this country, Denise?”

  She ran her hands through her badly bleached hair distractedly.

  “She’s our flesh and blood, Denise. Part of Dad and Mom and you and me. She belongs with us.”

  “You can’t afford to keep her.”

  “I’ll manage. I’ve managed so far.”

  “How?”

  “The same way we all have to. One way or another, we manage.”

  “Are you on food stamps?”

  I shook my head. “I work two jobs.”

  She sat down and dropped her head into her hands.

  “Please, Denise. Don’t let her go into the same system that caused you so much suffering.”

  She turned to me. “I let him rape me s
o he wouldn’t touch you, you know.”

  I crouched next to her and touched her thin arm. “Oh, Denise. I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry. You can’t begin to imagine how sorry I am.”

  “Every fucking night,” she howled. “I protected you.”

  “I know you did and now it’s my turn to do something for you. Let me protect and take care of your baby the way you did for me. It’s only right. No one will hurt her while I am alive.”

  She nodded fiercely and I knew she was trying to stop herself from crying. “All right. You keep her. You keep her safe, you hear? I protected you. Now you protect her.”

  “I will. I promise I will protect her with my own life.”

  “I’m such a mess.”

  “You know how I remember you? I remember you climbing higher up the tree than anyone else. Even the boys.”

  A small smile played on her lips. “I was fearless, wasn’t I?”

  “That’s still inside you, Denise. You can be that again. Nobody can take that away from you. No one.”

  She sniffed. “What happened to your face?”

  I grinned. “You want the long version or the short one?”

  “I want the long one, Della-Ray.”

  So I told her about the kidnapping and the bikers.

  Then for the first time in years, she reached out and touched my face. “I’m really glad you came today,” she whispered.

  “I’m really glad I came too.”

  “I’m gonna make some changes in my life, Della-Ray. I’m gonna make some changes.”

  My eyes filled with tears of joy.

  Della Ray

  One month later

  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vUSzL2leaFM

  -you look wonderful tonight-

  “Okay, that’s the last thing unloaded,” Nichole said.

  “Great. I’ll start unpacking Jess’s stuff first.”

  “No, you won’t.”

  I looked at her curiously. “What do you mean?”

  “I mean. You are going on an all-night-dirty-stop-out date and I am unpacking and babysitting Jess.”

  I put my hands on my hips. “What are you talking about?”

  “Come on. We got to get you ready. We only have an hour.”

  She looked so full of mischief I followed her into the room that was going to be my bedroom. She opened the box marked Date Night and to my surprise, the chiffon Zimmerman was in it. She pulled it out. “Remember this? Gage called me and asked if he could buy it off me. I had no problem saying yes because A … you look so much better in it than me and B … how can you say no to a man that is being so freaking romantic.”

  I stared at Nichole in shock.

  “He wanted you to wear this tonight. He said he wanted to show you off in the dress because the last time he missed it and he has regretted it ever since. He also said you looked so beautiful in it and it was what kept him alive through the pain and heartache. Oh, and he said can you please do your hair exactly the same as the last time and wear the same shoes too?”

  I stared at her speechless.

  She went around my back and prodded me along. “Well, come on. Jump in the bath. You don’t want to ruin the fantasy for him by smelling of sweat and dust.”

  I laughed then. It took less than an hour to get dressed. I did my hair like the last time and wore the same shoes from before, not that I had anything different.

  I looked at Nichole nervously. “I still look the same, right?”

  She shook her head. “Not really.”

  “What do you mean?” I asked worriedly.

  “You look ten times better. You have the glow of love and happiness on your face now.”

  I smiled gratefully at her. All these years, she had truly been the wind beneath my wings. It seemed as if the more troubles came our way, the stronger our friendship grew. I would miss her like crazy, but she had to finish her art apprenticeship in Arnault. After that, maybe she would move here to join me. Until then, we would just have to speak everyday on the phone.

  The doorbell rang making both of us jump.

  She laughed. “Stay here and just look pretty. I’ll play the part of your butler.”

  I felt too anxious to giggle. I hadn’t seen him in a month and my mouth felt dry with anticipation.

  She went out and I heard her say, “Please come in, Mr. Miller. Your date awaits.” Then she was coming into the room again, a huge smile lighting up her lovely face.

  Right behind her Gage followed. He was clean-shaven and looked so goddamn handsome I almost passed out with sheer excitement.

  He just stood there all six foot four of hard muscle. He was wearing his blue denim jeans, and the same crisp white shirt open he had worn that night when he didn’t turn up for our date. He looked at me with a sexy grin on his face and his eyes were eating me up. As if it was all a grand dream on the radio Eric Clapton’s Wonderful Tonight started playing.

  “OMG, Gage, you look so hot!’’ I blurted out. I rushed to him, threw my arms around him and hugged him tightly.

  “You ready to go, baby? Because we have unfinished business,’’ he said.

  “I am.”

  “Your taxi awaits.”

  We walked up to the taxi.

  My hands were trembling with emotion. I slanted a glance upwards at his face and could hardly believe this was my man. That I actually got the hero. Little ole me ended up with the hero!

  “Where are we going Gage?” I asked.

  “It’s a surprise.”

  I liked surprises, especially such exciting ones, so I quietly got into the seat.

  Gage closed the door and came around the other side. He slid in and I could feel the heat from his thigh. I put my hand on it. “Don’t start that now, or we will be going straight to the hotel,” he warned.

  I pulled my hand away and he chuckled.

  A short while later, we pulled up outside Dolce Vita. I always believed that I was an independent feminist, but I felt a thrill of delight when Gage came around and opened my door. Feeling like something infinitely precious, I got out. Gage paid for the taxi and I turned to face him. “We’re having dinner here?” I’d read about this exclusive Italian restaurant. It was the haunt of celebrities and the rich.

  “Unless you don’t want to?”

  For a moment, I hesitated, feeling slightly guilty, as I knew dining here would surely cost an arm and a leg.

  He understood. “Hey. It’s okay. It’s a treat. We deserve this.”

  I smiled up at him. “Yeah, you’re right. We deserve this.”

  He took my hand and led me up the steps.

  Uniformed doormen opened the doors for us and inside, an elegant woman in black checked off Gage’s name in her reservation book and showed us to our table.

  I could feel the other diners’ eyes upon us. I was pretty sure it was not due to me, but the gorgeous beast escorting me. When we were seated, I looked around me curiously. I had never been in such luxurious surroundings before.

  “Like it?” he asked, a twinkle in his eyes.

  “What’s not to like? It’s absolutely beautiful.”

  A waiter arrived with the drinks menu, but Gage told him we would have a bottle of Dom Perignon. He nodded approvingly and went off to fulfill the order.

  “Champagne? Hmmm, are you trying to impress me, Mr. Miller?”

  He grinned wolfishly. “Is it working?”

  “Definitely. I’ll show you how impressed I am later,” I whispered.

  The waiter arrived with the bucket of champagne. He poured it into flutes and left.

  Gage lifted his glass. “To the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on.”

  I lifted my glass. “To the most beautiful man I have ever laid eyes on.”

  Gage laughed. “And to our mutual appreciation society then.”

  I took a sip of the cold bubbles. I felt as if I was in a dream. It all seemed so surreal. So wonderful.

  Another waiter in a suit came to take our dinner request.


  Gage ordered a large steak, oddly enough, a T-Bone steak.

  “Missing being Bone?” I asked, with a happy giggle.

  “No. But I’ll always love Bone, he brought me to you.”

  As the waiter left, I caught Gage just staring at me. “What?’’ I asked.

  “You look so fucking beautiful,” he declared with such intensity. “You can’t imagine how glad I am to be with you tonight, baby.’’ As he said it, I swear he blinked away tears.

  The words and the look in his deep blue eyes made my heart skip. “I’m deliriously happy you’re alive and here with me, Gage. I don’t know what I would have done without you.”

  He lifted his flute and held it out. “To being alive,’’ he said.

  “To being alive,” I echoed as I clinked my glass to his.

  I watched him tilt his head as he drank. A few strands of his beautiful hair came loose and floated back. “I love you, but I realize you’re still a stranger,” I told him.

  His eyes widened. “A stranger?”

  “Well, not to my body, but I don’t really know much about you.”

  He looked at me indulgently. “What would you like to know?”

  “Everything.”

  “I don’t see why that can’t be arranged,” he said softly, as he entwined his fingers with mine. “When we have our whole lives ahead of us.”

  Epilogue

  One year later

  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=450p7goxZqg

  -all of me-

  I sat in the bathroom and stared at the blue line. Wow, what a coincidence that I should find out I’m pregnant on Jess’s birthday!

  There was a bang on the door and I jumped on the toilet seat, my hand flying to my chest.

  “Food is ready! Come out, Mommy,” Jess called.

  “I’ll be right there,” I called back, and tucked the white stick into the pocket of my shorts. “It will need a confirmation,” I told myself. “Don’t jump to conclusions yet.”

  I walked into the kitchen and stopped at the sight of the table. It was loaded with a growing stack of pancakes, strawberries, syrup, and juice.