Booker (Courting Chaos Book 3)

by Heather Young-Nichols

  Fuck. It was going to be too late to call her. Note to self. Always remember my charger. Indie’s words from earlier came back to me. The part about not going too long without talking to Paige to make sure she knows she’s important to me. Because she was important. Then my luck changed as I gave a quick glance down the hallway I was passing. That’s when I saw him.

  “Lawson,” I called down the hall. He didn’t hear me, so I did it again, which got him to look around and see me. “You have my phone?” I asked once I got to him. He held his own phone against his ear. I swear. The guy never stopped.

  “Oh, right,” he said moving the microphone part away from his mouth.. “I forgot. Today’s been a fucking nightmare.”

  “Did you remember to charge it?”

  “Yeah, it should be full.” He fumbled around inside his bag until finally pulling his hand out with my phone in his tight grip. Yet he still kept talking to whoever he was on the phone with and by the sounds of it, it had to do with the band.

  As soon as I grabbed it out of his hand, Lawson shuffled away returning all of his attention back to his own conversation. The man was one of the busiest I knew but he was also acting weirder than normal. Forgetting about him I hit the home button. Happily, the screen lit up.

  I scrolled to Paige’s name and selected. I’d noticed some little red numbers in the corner of my call icon indicating that I had some missed calls but I’d handle them after I talked to Paige. She was most important. Her phone rang six times before I got her voicemail.

  Damn it.

  It was only around nine but I supposed she totally could’ve gone to bed already. I wasn’t there and didn’t know what her day was like. She could’ve been exhausted. I hated that I didn’t know.

  “Paige, it’s Booker,” I began after the beep of her voicemail. “I was hoping to catch you before you went to bed. Obviously, I didn’t make it. Uh… ” I slipped into a nearby empty room. “I’m sorry we’ve been playing phone tag the last few days. Today was crazy. When you get this, call me back. Day, night… whenever. I’d like to hear your voice.”

  I hit the end button but sat there for a few minutes alone with my thoughts. Paige and I had only known each other a few weeks and most of that time had been spent apart. But if I didn’t know any better, I’d say I was falling in love with her, which was ridiculous.

  The long moments on the phone were almost better than getting to know each other even better face to face. On the phone, we had empty air to fill and couldn’t be distracted by kissing. Downside was that since we weren’t in the same room there was no kissing. And I certainly couldn’t tell her that I was falling so quickly. I didn’t want to scare her. But this new distance, not the physical one, just didn’t sit right with me. And all I could do was sit there and picture her straddling me like she had on the bike with her hair in a bun that she slowly unraveled to the blonde locks flow all around her. Damn I needed to see her.

  “There you are,” Dixon said as he passed the room. He turned around and came in.

  “What’s up?” I asked.

  “Afterparty.”

  “No.” I shook my head at him. That was the last thing I wanted to do. “Not interested.”

  “Oh, you’re interested.”

  I folded my arms over my chest. “I’m not.”

  “Listen.” He leaned in closer to me. “I get it. You’ve got a girl now, but you also can’t leave me out there alone. They’ll eat me alive.”

  OK, that was funny, so I chuckled though chances were that Dixon wouldn’t mind being eaten alive. “I think you have that backwards.” But then I sighed. These were my friends and what else was I going to do tonight if Paige was already asleep? “Fine. I’ll come for a bit.”

  “Yes.” He fist-pumped the air like a twelve-year-old.

  I wasn’t sure why I’d agreed to go, but now that I had, I’d wouldn’t just not show up. But tomorrow… I was going to get a hold of Paige.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Paige

  Joe and I were sitting in Marina’s room that first night waiting for the rest of the test results to come in. It was eleven o’clock, Past visiting hours, but neither of us were leaving until we knew where we stood. The nurse told me that normally they only allowed one person, a patient representative, to stay in the room overnight, per hospital regulations, but they’d make an exception for me since I was technically part of her medical staff. For regular visitors it was one person other than the patient’s spouse at a time. But visiting hours had long since passed.

  I told the nurse that I appreciated the professional courtesy and I did. But mostly I didn’t want to have to leave Joe there alone until we knew what was going on.

  The heart monitor beeped in the corner and the IV pump made that whirring sound, the IV bag almost empty, which was good. She’d looked a little dehydrated when we’d brought her in, but now her color was getting better and the dryness had started to disappear.

  When the door to her room slid open, I expected to see the nurse coming in to change the bag and I was right. But the doctor followed close behind. This was what we’d been waiting for.

  “OK,” he said, standing as far from the bed as he could. The room wasn’t all that big, so when Joe and I stood up from our chairs, it looked like the three of us were in a little football huddle. “Everything’s finally back and we were correct in our assumption of bacteremia.” He glanced at Joe and said, “Bacteria in the blood.”

  “But she’s on antibiotics for that, right?” Joe asked.

  “Yes. She’s been on broad spectrum antibiotics since she came in. The concern is that, with her other medical issues right now, it could progress to sepsis or even spread infection to other organs. We’re doing everything we can to make sure that doesn’t happen, but mostly we just have to wait and see.”

  “So she could get sicker?”

  “It’s possible, but we’re doing everything we can to help her. Now that she’s here, we can adjust as needed.”

  “Thanks, Doctor.” Joe reached out and shook the doctor’s hand, but I just gave him a small smile before he left the room. “How long will she be here?” Joe asked me. “I guess I should’ve asked.”

  “Well… ” I sat back down in the chair but stayed on the edge. “Usually, they like to do IV antibiotics for fourteen days, but like he said, everything is kind of up in the air. We just have to wait.”

  Joe ran both hands through his hair and looked as tired as I’d ever seen him.

  “She never wants me to stay the night with her in the hospital,” he said while staring at his wife.

  “She understands it’s not comfortable and there isn’t anything we can do right now.”

  “But it feels weird going home when she’s here.”

  I nodded. That was a standard thing among family. But in Marina’s case, she was where she needed to be and there wasn’t anything Joe could do but watch her. When honestly, Marina needed her rest as much as Joe did and sometimes, just having people in the room for long periods wore the patient out even when they weren’t exactly conscious.

  “We’ve given her something to help her rest,” the nurse said once she’d finished changing out the bag. “She should sleep all night if you two want to go get some rest.” Then she left the room.

  “They’ll call us if anything changes, right?” Joe asked, still looking at his wife.

  “Of course. I’ll remind them. It’s all right to try to rest,” I assured him.

  “All right. Give me a minute.”

  I nodded and stood, giving Marina’s hand a squeeze, then quietly left the room so Joe could have a private moment with his wife. Outside, I turned right toward the nurses’ station, which was only about six steps away.

  “I’ve gotten Joe to agree to leave, but only if you promise to call if there’s a change,” I told Marina’s nurse.

  “Of course. I’m on until seven, then I’ll make sure the day nurse knows. Big letters on the note.”

  I chuckle
d quietly. “Thank you.”

  About the same time I finished up, Joe came out of Marina’s room and waved me over. He was ready to go. We walked quietly, side by side, down the hallway, onto the elevator, out of the hospital, and to his car. I’d come in the ambulance, so I had no idea where he’d parked. I had to follow.

  When we got back to the house, I thought about offering him a snack but knew he wouldn’t take it. Joe didn’t wear his emotions on his sleeve much at all, but right now…I could definitely read every thought. He was terrified that his wife was going to die. Sure, that was possible, but I had every reason to believe it wouldn’t happen. I wouldn’t be calm if someone I loved was lying in the ICU either. I cared for Marina, of course, but it wasn’t the same as say, Barrett, whom I’d known almost my entire life, or even Booker.

  Adding Booker to that thought freaked me out. This situation with Marina made me realize that I’d let myself care for him more than I’d thought. More than I should’ve. Especially considering we hadn’t known each other long and at this point couldn’t even hook up via phone. This feeling of impending heartbreak was completely new to me because I’d never allowed myself to care for someone the way I had Booker. Never allowed myself to get close.

  I walked down the hallway a few feet behind Joe, his shoulders slumped. Even the shuffle of his feet said he was exhausted. He didn’t think he’d sleep, but I predicted he’d get more than he thought just because his body was about to shut down.

  “You should try calling Booker,” I said, breaking the eerie silence of the house.

  Joe stopped and turned my way. “I thought you had.”

  I took a deep breath and wet my lips, then crossed my arms under my breasts, dreading what I was going to have to admit out loud. “I tried like I said.” Then swallowed. “He didn’t answer and hasn’t called back so maybe he doesn’t want to talk to me. I don’t know. But he might answer if you call.”

  Joe scratched along his jaw as he nodded. But then he shook his head and muttered, “Fucking idiot.”

  He wasn’t talking about me. That much I was sure. He meant Booker. But whether he was referring to Booker not answering my calls or him not answering at all, I had no idea.

  “I’ll take care of it,” he called out as he made his way toward his room.

  I nodded, but he wouldn’t have been able to see that.

  Inside my own room, I dropped my purse by the door and hopped in the shower. I loved working in hospitals but always had to wash the smell off me as soon as I got home. This was no exception. It was a cross between antiseptic and I could never figure out what. Death maybe? Sadness?

  Afterward, I dropped into my bed and fell right to sleep, not caring that my hair was still wet and in the morning, my hair would be a wavy mess.

  Right now, I just needed the serenity only being unconscious could bring.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Booker

  I honestly didn’t need to attend an afterparty to be reminded of why I disliked attending afterparties. It wasn’t the music. It wasn’t the crowd. If I found someone to just hang out with for the night in a non-sexual way, I wouldn’t have minded as much. Fortunately, there was the band, but they were useless when it came to this. Cross and Ransom hadn’t come and were probably happily in bed with their girlfriends. Dixon typically found someone to hook up with at the afterparties, so he would never hang back. Which was probably better, considering one of us should interact with the fans.

  Then there were the women, most of whom thought I needed to have their breasts popping out of their tops to pay attention to them. Or the ones obviously just looking to hook up with one of us. Any of us would do. No shame in that if that was what they wanted, but it wasn’t what I wanted. I wanted Paige, but she wasn’t here.

  The moment her name popped into my head, I gripped the edge of the bar top and asked for another beer. Damn I’d hoped she’d call me back tonight. I could call her again but didn’t want to wake her if she was sleeping. I could check my voicemails but didn’t think there was anyone else I’d want to talk to tonight and even if she’d left one, I’d already returned it.

  No. The best I could do was wait for her to call me back.

  “What are you doing over here all alone?” a female voice asked to my right, slightly yelling over the music.

  “Drinking,” I answered with just a glance over at her.

  She was hot, I’d give her that, but for me, she couldn’t compare to Paige. I needed to do better where Paige was concerned. Figure out a way to balance the band and her the right way. Make sure she knew she was my priority and as soon as I could get her on the phone, I’d do just that. I’d tell her everything, including how I felt about her. I just had to find the words to do it justice.

  “In a room full of people you’re over here drinking alone?” she asked.

  “Yep.” I took a nice long drink.

  “I can keep you company, if you let me.” She slid to the edge of her stool, closer to me. “I can do a lot of things, if you let me.”

  And there it was. The offer worded in such a way that she could deny she’d made it. But there was no mistake. It was an offer. One that a lot of guys would’ve jumped at.

  I turned to actually look at her after realizing I hadn’t done that yet. I’d glanced. I looked, but I hadn’t turned toward her as if I were actually paying attention. Deep down, I wasn’t.

  “You might want to go find Dixon.”

  “His attention is taken,” she countered. “Don’t worry. I don’t have any illusions of what this is. I’m not going to get clingy or stalk you.”

  I shook my head before she finished talking. Even if Paige wasn’t in my life I wouldn’t have taken this woman up on her offer. I didn’t want that anymore.

  “I have a girlfriend,” I told her, whether it was true or not. Was Paige my girlfriend? I considered her to be, but I really needed to talk to her about it.

  The girl with the short, brown hair glanced around the room. “Where is she then? If you were my boyfriend, I’d be where you are. Keeping a very close eye.”

  If she thought she was convincing me, she was dead wrong. All she’d succeeded in doing was to piss me off. To make is sound like I needed a babysitter to ensure I didn’t cheat on a girlfriend was not only wrong it was offensive.

  “I don’t need to be babysat,” I said with the harshest tone I could muster, given how loudly I had to talk.

  “I’d be keeping a close eye on the girls, I mean.”

  I shook my head again. “Here’s the thing.” I leaned in closer so I could lower my voice and maybe not have to yell. “My girl doesn’t need to watch anyone. My girl knows she’s the only girl for me. No one else interests me because no one else can compare.”

  She snapped back with a wide-eyed look of surprise. I hadn’t wanted to be so blunt, but she hadn’t taken the hint about any of my attempts to brush her off. All she did was make me miss Paige more.

  “You don’t have to be an asshole about it,” she said as she slid off the stool.

  “Yeah, I kind of did. You didn’t take the hint.”

  Instead of waiting to hear anything else she had to say, I hopped off my stool and headed for the exit. Dixon wouldn’t miss me. If he ever realized I’d left. As I walked, I pulled my phone out of my pocket again.

  It was late. I wasn’t sure what the right thing to do was but damn it was late.

  Fuck it. I’d just call her again. I might’ve woken her which on the one hand would make me feel bad but on the other I’d get to talk to her.

  Before I could choose her name on my phone, the screen lit up. My dad was calling me, which was weird because we didn’t talk on the phone and it was pretty late for him. That meant something was wrong. The last time he’d called me, Mom had been in the hospital.

  Fuck.

  “Hello?” I answered, my stomach in knots.

  “So you do answer your phone once in a while,” Dad said with that same tone he’d used when I’d to
ld him I was quitting school and going on tour.

  “What are you talking about? Is something wrong?”

  “If you’d answer your phone you’d know.”

  “Can you just tell me what’s going on?” I could figure out the lecture later. Right now I wanted to know the reason he was calling in the first place.

  “Paige tried to get a hold of you earlier. A few times, I think. She found your mom unconscious in the living room this afternoon.”

  My heart dropped from my chest to my stomach and I could suddenly feel my heart beating just about everywhere. I reached a hand out to brace myself against the brick wall of the building, then I swooped down into a squat. My legs didn’t really want to hold me up and I was vaguely nauseous.

  “Is she… ?”

  “She’s in the ICU. Right now, she’s all right, but they’re keeping her mildly sedated. She has an infection. Complication from the pneumonia.”

  Relief washed over me. Those had been the most terrifying moments of my life since I’d gotten the call that she’d had a stroke. Now acid burned at the back of my throat. The kind that happened right before you vomited.

  “She’s going to be OK, right?” I finally asked once I’d calmed down, though my hands still had a slight shake to them.

  “We have to wait and see. Paige could’ve explained it better if you’d answered her call, but the infection could spread to other organs.” There was a moment of silence. “We just have to wait.”

  “OK, I’m going to see when the next flight out is and I’ll be on it,” I told him. No way was I not going to go. “But, Dad, I didn’t know Paige tried to call. I tried to call her but got her voicemail.”

  “Look, Booker, I don’t know what’s going on with you two or if there’s anything going on with the two of you because you don’t share that part of your life, but she’s your mom’s nurse. You should take her calls. Even if she wasn’t, you never leave a woman hanging like that. Never.”