Fragments

by Teg

  able, then a phone call to Will would have solved her troubles. Elizabeth

  wanted to see him, wanted to be with him. The days had felt empty without

  Will Darcy.

  It wasn’t that she had too much time to herself. There were still her therapy sessions to attend which kept Jane busy in driving them to and from the clinic.

  Will had suggested hiring a private therapist who could come to the house but Jane thought there would be more benefit in getting her sister out instead of keeping her confined indoors. Seeing the logic in that sent Will’s mind in motion once more, considering what other activities might serve the dual

  purpose of physical and mental therapy.

  Elizabeth knew what she wanted but remained confused about the likelihood of it coming about. Should she even dare to hope? It seemed that Jane was just as baffled, extolling Will’s virtues one moment and the next voicing caution about expecting too much. Elizabeth knew she wasn’t being intentionally contrary, though. With all that had happened she could hardly blame her sister for being protective. Despite an apparent desire to cotton wrap Elizabeth’s feelings, Jane had spoken of Will’s; his steady attendance at the hospital and devoted efforts in the face of hopelessness. It was incredible! How such a man could exist, and to love her, Elizabeth Bennet, to love her despite the abuse she’d flung at him, should be impossible.

  Yet the proof was undeniable. Will Darcy was there when she began the long, slow climb from darkness. He was there every day like clockwork and her

  struggling awareness had sought him, expected him, demanded his presence

  and rejoiced when she found it each time.

  So Elizabeth had waited, impatiently, for Saturday to arrive. She was

  determined to convey to Will what she could not confess to her sister.

  Stretching her body as she lay in bed, Elizabeth chose to take advantage of her high spirits and imagined Will as she had seen him countless times during that week before Jane’s wedding.

  He had no idea how gorgeous he looked; tall and dark, impeccably dressed even in shorts and a tee shirt. She considered how unfortunate it was that she

  hadn’t gotten to know him before and that arrangements had already been made for her own boyfriend to join them later in the week. She could get quite used to seeing the Formidable Man in these surroundings and curiously

  entertained the notion of forgiving his slight of her own appearance early in their acquaintance.

  In one swift movement he had pushed the hair back from his eyes, placing the laptop on the table and pulling up a chair. Even these mundane gestures showed an elegance and grace not present in most of the men she knew.

  As she watched, his expression transformed rapidly as concentration became amusement, consternation changed to enlightenment and finally, his breakfast complete and the coffee cup empty, he closed the laptop and left the dining terrace.

  It was too bad, thought Elizabeth, that George had been so insistent upon

  coming. In hindsight she knew it was because he was aware of Will’s presence and didn’t trust him. It wasn’t because of Will’s interest in herself, though. No, it was the history between the two men, what Will could tell her, warn her about George that was the driving force. She was sure George had no idea that Will even looked twice at her, let alone felt any attraction. After all, she hadn’t known it, either. Not until he’d kissed her.

  She pushed him away, staring in horror; more horrified that she’d actually enjoyed it than at what he had done. “What are you doing!”

  “Elizabeth,” he said, reaching for her lips again. “Can you not tell? Do you not know how much I want you?”

  “Want me!” she cried, grasping at his words to find a weapon in them. “I’d say that was obvious and I know exactly what it is you want!”

  His arms fell away from her, panic in his face. “You don’t understand. It’s not like that. Elizabeth, I love you!”

  “Love me? That’s a good one.” She spat on the stones at his feet. “I couldn’t care less what delusions you’re suffering from, but you can believe me on this; I don’t want you!” He blinked in surprise, taking a step back. In his moment of confusion she slapped him, hard. He took it, stood there with eyes closed but his breathing harsh. “I don’t want you,” she repeated. “How could I? You are a self-centred, egotistical, thoughtless and arrogant pig! Did you think I’d fall into your arms because you are rich? I want a man with feelings, a man who’s not afraid to show a woman how she is loved. I don’t want a walking bank account who thinks he can snap his fingers to make me come running!”

  “No.” The word was barely audible. She was sure he didn’t know he’d said it for it contained so much more than the one word could hold. She sensed regret and pain, desolation and abandonment. His eyes were holding her captive; she couldn’t breathe for the fear and loneliness they held.

  Elizabeth let out a long sigh. Will hadn’t deserved such humiliation. It was her disgust with herself, the desire she had felt for him, that had made her lash out like that. What crime had he committed? She had no objection to his kiss, as unexpected as it was to find Will Darcy’s lips on hers. No, that had lived on long in her memory, offering escape in some of her darkest moments in the

  months which followed.

  Taking up with George Wickham had been the worst decision of her life and

  not for the most obvious consequence. The time Elizabeth had wasted on that man could not be regained and the distance the relationship had put between her and the people she cared about was immeasurable. Jane and Charles were counted amongst the few of her friends and family to remain on speaking terms with her once George’s true colours were revealed. More amazing was that she continued to see him in spite of common sense which told her to get rid of him.

  She could only blame her own vanity, believing he was as salvageable as the many clients she had worked with over the years. She’d been looking for one more success.

  It was an error which cost her more than she could have imagined.

  The result was facing her as Elizabeth got out of bed and began the labourious process of getting washed and dressed. She wanted no assistance from Jane and would not ask for it, even though it meant the task would take that much longer to complete. Elizabeth had in mind to select something special from her limited wardrobe, an outfit that would make her look more attractive than she currently felt. She was to be disappointed, however. Her confidence was sinking the

  more she considered the twisted history shared with Will and the unknown

  future that lay before her. How could the two be reconciled? Elizabeth could not help thinking how unfair it would be to want him to stay if her disabilities proved permanent. At what point would she have to make that decision; ask

  him to stay or let him go?

  “Alright, how are you holding up, Will?” He sounded so far away when he replied that Georgiana considered getting on the next plane. “I didn’t hear that.”

  “It’s hard, Georgie, but I’m managing,” he repeated. “Sorry, I’m just a little tired.”

  “A little tired?” she said sarcastically. “You aren’t my only source of

  information, big brother. I know what kind of schedule you’ve been keeping. It can’t be continued forever so make sure you take time for yourself, too.”

  “I’ve got every reason to do that.” The smile could be heard in his words. “I can’t be of much use to Elizabeth otherwise.”

  “You won’t be of use to anyone if you let yourself get out of control again, Will. I mean it! Take a step back and let Elizabeth find her wings without everyone hovering. It will only impede her progress.”

  Will smiled again, shaking his head even though his sister could not see him.

  “Trust me, Georgie. I’ll know when the time is right and it’s not just yet.” He glanced at the clock beside him. “I’ve got to be going, though. I promised to be there before lunch.” He listened to her well meant wa
rnings before they said goodbye to one another, then quickly finished dressing while whistling merrily and envisioning the afternoon before him.

  An hour later, satisfied she had done her best though not necessarily satisfied with the result, Elizabeth left her room. As she descended the stairs she could hear Charles’ voice, evidently in a serious discussion. At first Elizabeth thought he was on the phone but eventually she could make out Jane’s quiet responses.

  Perhaps it was rude but Elizabeth took care to advance silently until she was outside the open entrance to the living room and could clearly hear what they were saying.

  “She’s not ready. How could you think she would be? Just look at her, Charles!

  She can hardly talk, walking is slow and difficult, she’s got months of therapy ahead! Lizzy does not need her heart broken, too.”

  “What makes you think Will would do that?” Charles was plainly angry. “He

  loves her, Jane! If she returns his feelings with one iota of the strength he feels then nothing could tear him away. You know he’s stayed away this

  week only because you requested it. He’s suffered enough.”

  “I don’t want Lizzy hurt. I’m sorry, but Will’s feelings rank a distant second right now.”

  “You are not thinking rationally. It’s as if you’ve completely disregarded everything he’s done for Elizabeth! I know you love your sister but let her make up her own mind. It’s not your decision to make. If she hates him she’ll have no trouble telling him even without words. Give them this chance, Jane.

  Back off and see what happens.”

  There was a lengthy silence during which Elizabeth found she was holding her breath. When Jane finally, reluctantly, voiced her agreement Elizabeth slowly exhaled. Conflicting emotions battled within her. How dare her sister presume to interfere, to keep Will at bay? She needed no protection from him, and certainly didn’t ask for any!

  Charles’ words echoed in her head; “He loves her, Jane!”

  She closed her eyes, leaning against the wall as her knees threatened to give out. Her legs were trembling and Elizabeth thought she might need to sit down instead. Then the doorbell chimed and her body jumped in shock at the

  unexpected sound. Collecting herself, Elizabeth began to shuffle forward,

  eagerly expecting it to be Will at the door. Charles suddenly appeared beside her, smiling down into her face and offering his arm for extra support.

  It was, indeed, Will on the front step and his entire face lit up upon beholding Elizabeth greeting him with a warmth in her eyes and a welcoming smile on

  her lips. He had brought flowers, too, stepping close to press them into her hand. Elizabeth inhaled their delicate fragrance.

  “I’m sorry, there is no honeysuckle at this time of year,” said Will, leaning down to speak in a low voice next to her ear. The tone resonated deep within her, sending her heart racing. Colour rushed to Elizabeth’s cheeks, causing him to put a hand to her elbow in concern. “Are you alright?”

  She nodded with a head too full of emotion to even meet his gaze. She heard Charles laugh softly and felt him move away. Then Will was steering her back to the living room where Jane was waiting.

  Simple conversation filled the first half hour, partly to encourage Elizabeth’s participation although she was perfectly content sitting next to Will on the sofa, her hand firmly gripping his. Occasionally he gave her fingers a squeeze as if to remind her that he wasn’t going to disappear. Elizabeth met his eyes each time, blushing lightly, but the colour making her face look heavily flushed with her pale complexion. Before long Charles found an excuse to remove himself and Jane from the room, leaving Will to carry on the conversation alone.

  Elizabeth was still too self conscious of her speech to offer any verbal replies.

  At last they had exhausted every topic that could be covered in a one-sided exchange. Will spent a moment in silent contemplation of the lady’s deeply expressive eyes, then tested the waters. “It cannot be easy for you to pick up life again after so long in the hospital. Have the last few days been too much?”

  She hurriedly reassured him with a shake of her head, wishing for the means to tell him that her only difficulty was in separation from him. Then she suddenly realised that she did have a way to say what was on her mind, but did she dare?

  As she sat, silently working up courage and inwardly debating, Will asked her another question.

  “Would you like to go for a drive this afternoon? It doesn’t have to be far, or for very long. If you’d rather not, I’ll understand.”

  Elizabeth was nodding acceptance of the idea before she could think. Will

  called to Jane, who quickly returned, looking as if she expected her sister to be in some distress. He explained their plans but Jane wasn’t approving. Will was taken aback by her reaction and undecided as to what to do. Elizabeth had

  seemed eager and he didn’t want to disappoint her, nor did he wish to alienate Jane.

  “You haven’t been out of the hospital long, Lizzy. The air is damp and chilly, you could catch a cold so easily!” she warned.

  “Warm clothes should prevent that,” Will suggested.

  Elizabeth defended her choice with a rebellious glare. Besides, if I do get cold I’ll just have Will warm me up. She grinned mischievously with the thought.

  Jane relented but reiterated her concerns with instructions for Will. “Keep her in the car where it’s warm. The last thing Lizzy needs now is to be traipsing around in the wet grass. Oh, that reminds me! Lizzy, I need to find your shoes.

  I’ll just take a look in your room upstairs.”

  Will shook his head as Jane disappeared. Elizabeth motioned for him to sit beside her again. When he was seated, he brought her hands together and held them firmly in his own.

  “Elizabeth, please don’t be afraid to speak in front of me. You know that

  practice can only improve your speech and I have long wanted to hear you

  say anything at all.”

  Her cheeks flushed deeply, emotions quickly engaged with him so near. Unable to look at him, Elizabeth merely nodded once more.

  “I’ll help you,” he said, softly running his thumbs over her hands.

  Again she felt her cheeks grow hot. Jane chose that moment to appear, a pair of runners dangling from one hand. “I’ll have to get you another pair next week, I think. You’ll need one for physio and another if you will be going out more often.” She knelt down beside her sister and began to work one shoe on.

  Elizabeth pulled her foot back, frowning. She took the shoe from Jane’s grasp with an irritated stubbornness. Fumbling with it, she managed to get the shoe on with some trouble but tying them proved to be too much. Through tears of frustration she saw another pair of hands take her own and the job was done.

  Elizabeth looked up to see Will gazing back at her, his expression calm and reassuring.

  “Let us help sometimes,” he whispered.

  She stole a look at Jane, knowing she had hurt her sister’s feelings by rejecting her assistance. Will observed the two of them, announced that he would start the car, and left them alone.

  “Forgive me?” Elizabeth ventured.

  Jane wrapped her arms around Elizabeth, letting her actions speak for the

  moment. “Of course I do,” she finally managed to say before Will had returned to collect Elizabeth.

  Chapter Eleven

  There was a comfortable silence in the car. Will was happy in the knowledge that the woman he loved occupied the seat beside him. Elizabeth, enjoying the sunshine and the view, was no less aware of the presence of the man

  responsible for her own feelings, as muddled as they were. It wasn’t difficult to

  shift her gaze from the passing trees and houses to focus on Will’s steady profile, to admire the strength in the line of his jaw and the way his attention rarely wavered from the task of driving, only occasionally looking her way.

  She inhaled deeply, eyes closed,
feeling every sensation that surrounded her; the bounce of the tires over the road’s surface, the gentle curving as the car switched lanes, the brief change in acceleration when Will shifted gears. All of it was new and exhilarating; she wanted to experience more.

  His voice broke into her thoughts. “Do you have any preferences for our drive?

  Is there anyplace special you would like to see?”

  Her impulse was to say that anywhere would be special as long as he was with her but realised his intent was to please by letting her choose. Elizabeth considered the surrounding landscape and then simply pointed straight ahead to the escarpment that rose above the city.

  Will nodded, perfectly comprehending her request. “It should be spectacular now with the colours spread out below.” His voice dropped to a whisper,

  adding, “But not as pretty as the way your eyes light up just thinking about it.”

  Her smile spread to those eyes and, softly, Elizabeth placed her hand over the one Will rested on the stick shift. He looked at her in mild surprise, then smiled and opened his hand so that she could slip her fingers through his. She felt her insides tremble and knew contentment.

  Today it doesn’t matter how hard it is to walk or that I can’t voice my thoughts aloud. I’m alive and Will loves me. He still loves me.

  As she silently considered her next move they arrived at the park overlooking the city. Ignoring Jane’s admonishments to not leave the car, Will helped

  Elizabeth step out onto the pavement and they set off down the path at a slow pace. The air was crisp and smelled of autumn. Elizabeth’s eyes darted back and forth, taking in as much as she could see. The trees were in full colour; reds, oranges and yellows. Squirrels busily gathered fallen nuts to bury them in secret places. All too soon she was tired, though, the sight of a bench very welcome as Will took them in that direction. Seeing Elizabeth settled, he sat down beside her and she snuggled close.

  “I used to see you here almost every day,” he quietly said She looked up at him, surprised by this confession. His gaze was trained on the trees across the open space in front of them. “I was in love with you before I knew it... and before I knew you.”