Attempted Adventuring (The Attempted Vampirism Series Book 2)

by L. G. Estrella

  “He’s the best,” Jonathan agreed as Miles half-carried and half-dragged him toward the boat. Aria was behind them, barrier after barrier flickering to life only to shatter as the draco-hydra continued its assault. She’d gone from using her own Words to praying outright to the god she served for protection, but even that power was scarcely enough to fend off the draco-hydra’s attacks.

  “[Blinding Flash]!”

  The draco-hydra jerked back, temporarily blinded, and Jonathan was ready to celebrate when he noticed something odd. It was raining. Now, rain was not, in and of itself, a bad thing. Admittedly, vampires weren’t fond of it since it qualified as living water of a sort, albeit not nearly as bad as the ocean or a river. What worried him was the fact that until now it had been a clear and cloudless night. It was one of the reasons they’d chosen to make their move. Heavy rain would have slowed them down far more than their opponent, and draco-hydras were known to become angrier and more vicious during storms.

  As someone who was paranoid – although he wasn’t sure if it counted as paranoia since he was being chased by a giant, enraged reptile – he had used [Predict Weather] to try to rule out the possibility of rain. The Word was far from infallible, but it was usually fairly accurate. It had predicted only a slight chance of light rain, but the rain tumbling down on them had gone from a drizzle to a downpour in a matter of seconds.

  Struggling to keep their footing, he, Miles, and Aria continued their mad dash toward the boat. Had Blue Scales done this? He might be able to pull it off, but why would he? A half-buried stone sent him sprawling into the mud, and Jonathan caught a glimpse of the sky before he struggled back to his feet.

  The Blood Emperor shook his head in disbelief. You have the most incredible luck, Jonathan. What’s that saying again? Ah, yes. When it rains, it pours.

  There on the horizon, but growing closer with each moment, was a bank of storm clouds – except clouds couldn’t move that quickly, nor did they appear from nowhere on clear nights. He used [Scry], but his word instantly ran into stern resistance. He gulped. Clouds could not resist Words. There was something else in those clouds – something that could fly and which was powerful enough to produce the lightning that tore through the heavens in blindingly bright ladders that turned the night into day.

  As a scholar – and someone who had begun to research monsters more thoroughly to minimise his odds of being killed by them – he knew exactly what it was.

  “Dragon!” he screeched. “Storm dragon! It’s headed this way!”

  Storm dragons were one of the more uncommon breeds of dragon, but like all dragons, they were terrifying opponents. Rather than breathing fire, they spat lightning, and they were capable of controlling the weather around them. Instead of setting the land ablaze and filling the skies with fire and ash, they brought storms with them everywhere they went, and their presence was always heralded by torrential rain, thunderous hail, tearing winds, and lightning. Like most dragons, they also had a tendency to be greedy and avaricious. Few things pleased them more than adding treasure to their hoards. This one must have heard about the draco-hydra’s riches somehow, and like any self-respecting dragon, it had a plan: show up, slaughter the draco-hydra, and claim its treasure for itself. Normally, that would be a mere formality. There were precious few things in the world that could withstand the fury of an adult dragon. However, an ancient draco-hydra was one of them.

  “Run faster!” Aria screamed.

  “I’m trying!” Jonathan replied.

  “Forgive me, sir,” Mile said. “But the Words we used must have taken a toll on you.” He hoisted Jonathan up onto his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. “Since speed is of the essence, I believe this is the best option, and I do hope you will forgive me for my presumption.”

  “Miles, if we live through this, there is nothing to forgive.”

  But the ancient draco-hydra was no longer chasing them. It had sensed the incoming threat, and a bunch of thieves who had stolen a few of its trinkets were of far less concern than a dragon that could potentially take everything. The draco-hydra stretched up to its full height, well over a hundred feet tall. Its wings unfurled in a dazzling threat display, and it roared before heaving itself up into the air. It was ungainly, lacking the speed and grace of a dragon, but its sheer size and bulk made for a truly ominous sight.

  The monster spewed nine beams of molten acid toward the approaching storm clouds. The attack was answered by a tremendous bolt of lightning that dwarfed the one Blue Scales had used. The acid was blasted out of the way, and the bolt struck the draco-hydra square in the chest. A lesser creature would have died then and there, but it barely seemed to care. Instead, it roared again, and its wings beat the air mightily to increase its speed.

  “Incredible,” Aria breathed. She chanced a quick look back as the dragon emerged from the storm clouds and dove to meet the draco-hydra. Its scales were a patchwork of grey, silver, blue, and black. Despite being lighter, the dragon’s momentum allowed it to drive the draco-hydra back into the ground. The two titans tore up trees, ripped trenches into the earth, and tossed up plumes of mud, dirt, and water as they scrambled to get the upper hand. The hydra’s nine heads snapped and bit, and volleys of acid sliced through the air. The storm dragon replied with its claws and teeth, and blinding blasts of lightning lit up the night. Each blow that landed was like thunder, and the rain burst outward from the sheer force behind every impact.

  “Hurry!” Blue Scales helped them onto the boat. “We must leave. It isn’t safe here.”

  An uprooted tree tumbled toward the boat, but Eileen leapt forward to knock it aside. Come on. It was almost impossible to read her sign through the driving rain. We need to leave right now!

  The boat jolted into motion as Jonathan, Miles, and Aria all but collapsed onto it. Blue Scales wasted no time in using a Word to hasten their passage down the river as the two behemoths continued to battle. The last thing Jonathan saw was the dragon reeling back, a gash torn along one shoulder, while the draco-hydra fought to regain its balance after a blast of lightning obliterated two of its heads.

  It was only later, much later, when the sounds of battle and the pouring rain had faded, that anyone felt safe enough to speak.

  “So…” Eric drawled. “That wasn’t too bad. We’re all alive, we completed our mission, and we even got some extra treasure too.”

  Jonathan spluttered. He was sorely tempted to push the werewolf into the river. “We almost died!” he wailed. “There was an ancient draco-hydra and a storm dragon!”

  “Almost, my friend. We almost died.” Eric chuckled. “And in our line of work, almost dying is nearly the same as getting away without a scratch.”

  Jonathan was too exhausted to do more than glare. Thankfully, Eileen wasn’t. The shape-shifter, who was currently in her bear form, whacked Eric over the head with one of her signs.

  Try to read the mood a little better. Eileen flipped the sign around, so they could read the other side. If that dragon hadn’t shown up, we’d have been in real trouble. Draco-hydras aren’t as fast in the air as dragons, but it would still have been able to follow us most of the way downriver.

  Eric rubbed the back of his head. “I’m just trying to look on the bright side. I mean… I was almost worried this mission would be boring, but I think we can all agree that it wasn’t.”

  “Boring can be good.” Blue Scales guided the boat past some rocks. “And interesting has a tendency to mean dead when it involves giant monsters.”

  Aria sat up. She was covered in mud up to her knees, and she’d scraped her cheek at some point, possibly against her helmet when they’d thrown themselves into the boat. He had to fight to keep from staring at the wound. Now that he knew what her blood tasted like, he was very tempted. “We need to tell our client about the dragon. This is supposed to be his territory, and regardless of who wins, the winner is not going to be in a good mood.”

  “If he asks us to kill whoever wins, I vote we walk away,”
Jonathan said.

  “Agreed, sir.” Miles handed him a gourd of blood. “We are adventurers. It might be best to leave monster hunting to the monster hunters.”

  In Jonathan’s mind, the Blood Emperor gave him the mental equivalent of a pat on the back. Mission accomplished – barely.

  Jonathan ran one hand over his face. He couldn’t wait to get back to Martin’s shop, so he could crawl into his newly purchased coffin and get some sleep without worrying about a massive reptile killing him. “So… who wants to take a bandit-clearing mission next time?”

  Aria laughed. “Maybe. They might not pay as well, but I won’t say no to a mission that doesn’t involve us running from nigh-invincible monsters that could kill us by stepping on us.”

  Part One – Shadows of the Past

  Jonathan breathed a heavy, heavy sigh of relief and slumped back onto the couch. The meeting with Baron Nightbarrow had gone rather splendidly, all things considered. The older vampire had been delighted to have his chest back and even more delighted to discover they had obeyed his orders to the letter. No one had opened it or tried to determine what was inside it, and they’d managed to bring it back without so much as a dent on it. They’d all been tempted to look – everybody enjoyed solving a good mystery – but the reward he’d offered them had been enough to trump their curiosity. Naturally, the baron had been somewhat less delighted to hear about the two reptilian titans in his territory, but that was an issue for another time – and another team. Jonathan enjoyed living, and he wasn’t going near another draco-hydra or dragon if he could avoid it.

  Although Baron Nightbarrow lacked the wealth and power of Baron Darkletter, he was still a vampire noble of considerable means and ample prestige. He also happened to belong to one of the oldest and most storied vampire lineages, and his House could trace its descent back for millennia. Respect and history were currencies in their own right, and the baron had plenty of both. His House’s territory was also well situated to facilitate trade although any mercantile efforts would have to wait until he’d dealt with whoever had emerged victorious between the storm dragon and the draco-hydra. Given the lack of stormy weather, it was likely the multi-headed beast had triumphed. However, if the dragon had survived – and dragons were not above running away if it meant living to fight another day – then it would undoubtedly try again, as much to secure the draco-hydra’s hoard as to erase the sting of its defeat.

  As welcome as the baron’s gold was, his gratitude could well prove to be even more valuable. With yet another vampire noble of good standing to vouch for them, they could look forward to more lucrative missions that would hopefully involve less risk as well. Jonathan understood that some level of risk was unavoidable. Adventuring was risky business. However, angering giant monsters wasn’t an example of good risk management, quite the opposite really.

  Not far away, Eric was helping himself to the last of the snacks that had been left in the meeting room. Like most werewolves, he enjoyed beef, and he wasn’t about to turn down free sandwiches filled with roasted beef, various vegetables, and a variety of different condiments. He’d managed to restrain himself during the meeting with the baron, but there was no reason to hold back now that the baron had gone. “So… what should we do for our next mission?”

  Jonathan tossed a half-hearted glare at him. “I’m not even going to think of taking another mission until I stop having nightmares about the one we just finished.” It had taken them several days to get back, and his dreams had been far from pleasant. Almost all of them had involved tripping over and becoming draco-hydra food or tripping over and becoming dragon food. “Besides, I think we could all use a break. We’ve been taking a lot of missions lately.”

  Eileen held up a sign with the sort of languid amusement he’d come to expect from her. For someone who was unable to take her natural form, the shape-shifter was remarkably cheerful. Remember the mission with the giant badgers?

  “Ugh…” Aria made a disgusted sound. “Please, don’t mention that mission.”

  For some reason, the giant badgers had taken offence to the former paladin’s presence and had focused most of their efforts on ripping her limb from limb. Thankfully, Aria had proven to be quick on her feet and even quicker with her Words, allowing the rest of them to take full advantage of the badgers’ single mindedness.

  You’re just mad we used you as bait. Eileen patted Aria gently on the head with her sign. It’s definitely a tactic we should use if we ever have to deal with giant badgers again.

  Blue Scales chuckled. “Ah, yes. The last time I saw someone get chased by animals like that was when my brothers covered me in half-eaten fish and tossed me into a group of sharks.”

  Jonathan sat up. “And how did that go?”

  Blue Scales smiled fondly at what Jonathan would have thought would be a traumatic memory. “It was a hilarious prank. I laughed quite heartily once I’d managed to fight my way through all the sharks. It took longer than I expected, but it was a fine way to spend an afternoon.”

  “You fought your way through all the sharks?”

  Blue Scales grinned. “Of course. I was already training as a warrior then. If I could not best a few sharks, I deserved to get eaten. As it was, the sharks were the ones to end up on the menu.”

  “That sounds… delightful.” Jonathan tried to sound as diplomatic as he could, but he must have failed miserably if the mirth in the merman’s eyes was anything to go by. Still, he made a mental note to go to Blue Scales if he ever had any problems involving sharks.

  “They were quite tasty, you know.”

  Once they were done here, Jonathan was going to head back to Martin’s shop, crawl into his new coffin, and drift off into a nice, dreamless sleep. It was interesting to see more of the world, but he couldn’t wait to get back to somewhere safe and familiar. True, there were some strange things in his friend’s shop, but he’d grown used to them. In a way, the shop had become his home away from home. It might not have been the grandest residence, but it was cosy, and Martin was his friend. He liked it there.

  Aria stretched to work a kink out of her back and then sat down beside him. Jonathan fought the urge to lean over. Ever since he’d tasted her blood, he’d wanted to have a little more. Aria hadn’t noticed, but Eileen definitely had. The shape-shifter somehow managed to waggle her eyebrows suggestively despite being a bear. At least she wasn’t holding up one of her signs. He would have died of mortification if she told Aria.

  It can be addictive, but you’d best be careful. In his mind, the Blood Emperor’s grin was positively wicked. Given her former occupation, she’d only need a Word or two to reduce you to a pile of ash.

  “As awkward as the ending of the mission was, it did pay handsomely, and we did secure a lot of additional treasure.” Aria nodded in acknowledgement at Eric, Eileen, and Blue Scales since they’d been the ones to make off with the extra treasure. She’d worn her armour during the meeting with the baron – appearances were important – but she was obviously keen to relax, so she shot a hopeful look at Eileen. The bear gave a rumble of amusement, and a handful of shadow imps appeared to remove Aria’s armour.

  You do realise that I expect compensation for helping you. Eileen padded toward the couch.

  “And you do realise that you’re never going to fit on this couch, right?”

  Eileen huffed and transformed into a large dog before hopping onto the couch and draping herself over Aria. The blonde rolled her eyes and manoeuvred her friend into a more comfortable position before giving her belly an affectionate scratch. Eileen chortled and flicked her tail at Jonathan. He took the obvious hint and patted her on the side. He’d never been good with animals, and the closest he’d ever come to having pets were the crows that lived in the damaged parts of his castle. Hopefully, they’d be all right until he got his castle back.

  “I know the baron hasn’t committed to a course of action yet, but I think I might forward him a list of some monster hunters I know. Since we won’t
be taking the mission, it’s not like we’ll be losing any money, and some goodwill is a nice thing to have, especially if it won’t cost us a single coin.”

  “If you can find people who want to fight giant monsters, then by all means, recommend them.” Jonathan grimaced as Eileen rolled around on Aria’s lap and then favoured him with her puppy dog eyes.

  “I do believe she wants to be scratched behind the ears, sir,” Miles suggested.

  “Ah, right.” Jonathan laughed nervously. “I do hope whoever you recommends is careful. Dragons and draco-hydras are formidable creatures.”

  “True, but all monster hunters are at least a little bit crazy.” Aria smiled fondly. “I should introduce you to some of them, so you know what I mean.” She rolled her shoulders as the shadow imps helped her out of her breastplate and pauldrons. “How long do you think it will be before you can take another mission? We can certainly do some without you, but the clients for the more lucrative missions will want you to be present.”

  “Hmm…” Jonathan murmured his thanks as Miles handed him a goblet full of blood. “A few days, I think.” He glanced toward the other chests they’d nabbed. They’d already catalogued most of the contents, and the gold, silver, and other valuables should be easy enough to divvy up. However, some of the chests also contained artefacts and relics that he wanted time to properly value and assess. “I have a friend who can help us sell what we’ve found, but we need to examine some of it more closely before we decide to sell it or keep it.”

  “Oh?” Aria accepted a goblet from miles, but hers was full of wine.

  “Can you bring that chest over here?” Jonathan would have done it himself, but Eileen had decided to put her head on his lap, so he could scratch behind her ears more easily. He wondered why she didn’t have her imps do it, but their hands were smaller than a normal person’s. Eric and Blue Scales looked at each other and played an impromptu game of rock-paper-scissors. From his aggrieved expression after losing, Eric must rarely emerge the winner. He brought the chest over, and Jonathan opened it. It took a moment for him to find what he was looking for. “Do you see this?” He held up a golden ring. “It’s a magic ring. The problem is that although many magic rings have positive effects, most of them are also cursed in some way.”