by Jason Ball
Peace. War. Loving. Hating. Births. Deaths. Family. Foreigners. People of every kind doing every kind of thing.
From this vantage point, it’s all one crazy harmonious mix. (Book 7, Meditation 48)
Or for a more up-to-date example, Edgar Mitchell, Apollo 14 astronaut, put it this way:
In outer space you develop an instant global consciousness, a people orientation, an intense dissatisfaction with the state of the world, and a compulsion to do something about it. From out there on the Moon, international politics look so petty.
Once we understand that we are intimately part of a far, far larger whole, our own personal issues won’t seem quite so big anymore. We’ll tend to develop greater compassion for those around us – people who are far more like us than they are different. We will be more likely to take better care of our planet – after all, as my mum would say when I did something wrong, ‘You’re only hurting yourself.’
Marcus would say that the universe wants you to do the right thing, that you should act in accordance with the laws of nature. These laws, in his view, are always for the best for the whole of humanity (and the wider universe for that matter). They are not in themselves good or bad, they simply are what they are.
In itself, the universe is a pretty docile place. It doesn’t hate you. It’s not out to get you. When you think about things this way, it’s easy to see that the natural laws that govern everything around us aren’t evil. They don’t make mistakes. They harm nothing. And ultimately, it’s these same laws that govern everything that happens to us from birth to death. (Book 6, Meditation 1)
In a world where far too many of us are too eager to grab a slice of victimhood, this is a sobering thought.
As briefly mentioned earlier, Marcus also views what happens in the universe as a long series of repeating cycles – a version of ‘what goes around comes around’. He says that you’ll see nothing fundamentally different than all the people who’ve come before you (and your descendants will see nothing different in their turn).
We have a tendency to think of our problems as uniquely ours, as if they have been specially selected by fate to single us out for some pain and misery. But for Marcus, these problems are as old as time. As he points out later in Book 6:
To see the present is to see everything that’s been before and everything that’s yet to come because everything is linked. (Book 6, Meditation 37)
So, again, why get stressed obsessing over the next crisis when the same thing has happened again and again (and will happen again and again)?
You are better off simply focusing on what you can do, right here, right now – with reason, fairness and common humanity front and centre in your mind. As Marcus explains at the start of Book 4:
When you’re OK with the way things are in reality, you can adapt to whatever the world throws at you – threat or opportunity. You won’t come at things weighed down by the baggage of expectation or prejudice. You’ll be able to step back and get some distance. Then, no matter what happens, you can judge whether to embrace it, fight it or ignore it. (Book 4, Meditation 1)
And that’s really at the core of Stoicism. The Stoics would say that to lead a flourishing life, you simply need to separate reality from fantasy. You need to appreciate that you have very little control over the vast majority of stuff that happens around you. All you can ultimately do is try your best, acting with compassion for others, attempting to make the world a better place and refusing to take it personally if it doesn’t work out.
Making it work for you – five key questions
What issues in your life seem to happen over and over? How did you deal with them last time? How should you change your approach next time?
When have you felt that fate has had it in for you? How else could you have looked at this?
How do your expectations shape how you act? If you were to act without expecting a particular result, what would change?
Try altering your perspective – imagine looking down from an airplane flying overhead or further out to the view from the International Space Station – how does this change how you view issues, problems and the world around you?
How can this sense of interconnectedness foster greater compassion in how you view others?
THE MEDITATIONS
7
The Second Book
‘You are going to die. Right now, you’re living on borrowed time. So why do you keep putting things off? Use every day to its fullest. Suck the marrow out of life. Because when your time’s up, that’s it, you don’t get a second go.’
1. Some people are dicks
Let’s face it, on pretty much any day, you’ll come across people who’ll try your patience. They may be rude or ignorant. They may lie to you or try to trick you. They may just be dicks.
Often, this is because they don’t realise that they are, in fact, dicks. They can’t get their heads around the difference between being a good, honest, reasonable person and being an annoying, self-centred jerk.
Thing is though, at some level, all these people are your brothers or sisters. Sure, you may not share parents or siblings or even the same country, but we all share the same essential humanity.
Now, you can decide to be hurt or offended by their words or actions, but that is your choice. Ultimately, however, we all need to be able to live and work together. It’s simply the natural order of things. So get over it.
2. 60% water
What are we all really made of? A little flesh. Some breath in and out. And a chunk of grey matter that runs the show (more or less).
But your flesh is nothing of real concern. It’s just a bunch of muscles, veins, blood and bones held together with some fancy wiring. Your breath comes and goes. It sucks. It blows. So what?
Now the grey matter, that’s where the real stuff happens. Why then squander it getting trapped by every selfish whim, every little distraction? Too many people waste precious time moaning about the present or worrying about the future.
You’re a long time dead, make the time you have count.
3. Change happens
You may believe that some god or divine spirit controls the universe. Alternatively, you might think it’s all down to chance and evolution. Whatever your view, it’s pretty obvious that the world around you is the greater sum of a range of interconnected parts (no matter who or what drives it).
What’s more, it’s changing all the time. In fact, it’s this change that makes pretty much everything else possible. You are a part of this, there are no bystanders in this game. You’ll change the world around you just as surely as it’ll change you. So don’t sweat it.
4. Tick, tick
You are going to die. Right now, you’re living on borrowed time. So why do you keep putting things off? Use every day to its fullest. Suck the marrow out of life. Because when your time’s up, that’s it, you don’t get a second go.
5. Cut the cat pictures
Whatever you’re doing, focus. Do one thing and only one thing. Don’t get distracted by all the crap around you. Ignore your phone, your social newsfeed, your addiction to the next shiny new thing. Get on with the task at hand with a positive mind and a good attitude.
Do this and you’ll realise just how simple living a good life can be.
6. R-E-S-P-E-C-T
Isn’t it time you showed yourself some respect? We only have one life and it could end tomorrow. If you don’t respect yourself, your happiness will end up a hostage to what other people think about you.
7. Why worry?
With every new thing that pops into your newsfeed, there is a fresh opportunity to worry about something that’s totally out of your control (assuming you’re not a world leader). Why play this game? It’ll exhaust you and you’ll almost certainly lose.
Instead, take time to learn something new. Something useful and interesting. Something that’ll leave no room for pointless worry.
8. Think of a number
You’re not a mind reader. To
o many people get all wound up because they can’t work out what others are really thinking. Yet in reality, the source of your unhappiness has more to do with a failure to understand how your own mind works.
9. Big meet small
Here’s something to focus on. The universe is big. Really, really big. And you are small. Tiny in fact. But however small you are, you’re an inseparable part of the wider mass of everything. And no one can stop you saying or doing what’s in total harmony with the wider universe.
10. Grading arseholes
Some people act like arseholes because they’re angry. Some because they want something (power, sex, stuff). There’s an important difference.
The angry people are often in pain and struggle to control their actions. They suffer twice, once with perceived injustice and then again with the pain of their own response.
Those driven by desire are more self-seeking and calculating. They know that what they’re doing is wrong and do it anyway.
So, ultimately, it’s worse to be driven by desire than by anger.
11. Ready to die?
You should always behave like your next breath will be your last. If there is a god of some sort, you’ve got nothing to fear anyway. If there isn’t (or they simply don’t care about us mere mortals), then forget them.
We’ve evolved to deal with all sorts of challenges, why assume this all falls apart at death? You’re probably more ready to face your end than you realise.
11½. Nothing is good. Nothing is bad.
In the real world, good and bad things happen to good and bad people in pretty much equal measure. Life and death. Riches and poverty. Pain and pleasure. And more often than not, these events don’t change that person in the slightest.
So when you think about it, none of these things is, in its own right, either good or bad.
12. So what?
Everything in life is fleeting. It doesn’t matter whether it’s something that promises pleasure, something that threatens pain or something that inflates our sense of self-importance. Ultimately, when you consider what these mean in the wider span of the universe, it’s all pretty inconsequential.
12½. Don’t fear the reaper
When you really look at it, death is about as natural as things get. You might as well fear the sun coming up. In fact, death is not just a natural event, it also helps keep the whole of nature working by recycling much-needed atoms.
13. Getting out of your head?
It’s kind of sad when you see people going around in circles trying to get into other people’s heads. The truth is, the only head you really need to get into is your own. Once you know your own mind, you can be calm, focused and at peace with the world.
14. No time like the present
It doesn’t matter whether you live for three thousand years or thirty thousand, all you really ever have is the present moment, same as everyone else.
You can’t lose the past, it’s already gone.
You can’t gain the future, it’s not here yet (and may never be).
Ultimately, there are two truths in all this. The first is that everything from the beginning of time is just a bunch of repeating patterns – you can keep watching them go round and round but they’re all the same. The second is that no matter if you die young or old, all you ever lose is the present moment – and even this is not really yours to own.
15. An ass of you and me
At the end of the day, we’re ruled by our assumptions. Of course, you may disagree in your special case (surely this only applies to others). But at least consider the possibility that it’s true.
16. Pressing self-destruct
Call it your ‘soul’, call it your ‘self’, call it what you like. Whatever is the essential youness of you, there are a bunch of ways it can become cancerous to your wellbeing.
You can bitch and moan about the nature of the universe (it ain’t going to change for you my special snowflake).
You can take against others and try to do them harm (what goes around comes around).
You can surrender control when faced by pleasure or pain (get a grip).
You can present a false picture of yourself to the world (how are your Instagram updates looking?).
Or you can do random shit, wasting your time on stuff that’s meaningless (what’s the point?).
17. Let’s get real
What are you really?
The universe has been around for billions of years. You are a mere speck upon a speck. You are a simple collection of atoms held together in a fleshy bag of fluid. Your perception is, at best, a bit wonky and your mind is often all over the place. Your future is, let’s face it, impossible to predict.
When it comes down to it, your body is like a fast-flowing river, always changing. Your thoughts are just smoke and mirrors. Your life is like an ongoing war in a foreign land. And when your time is up, oblivion awaits.
Sounds a bit sucky I know. So, is there nothing that can help you get through it?
The answer is philosophy. By this I don’t mean some convoluted garbage in a never-read book. I mean the kind of thinking that protects your soul, self, spirit (or whatever you call it). The kind that frees you from being governed by pain and pleasure. That stops you doing random stuff for the sake of it.
It’s the kind of philosophy that understands that shit happens and prepares us for our ultimate demise without freaking anyone out. It knows that when you shuffle off this mortal coil, it’s just a way of Mother Nature redistributing your atoms – so why worry about it?
After all, those atoms were around long before you made use of them and will carry on being useful until the end of the universe.
8
The Third Book
‘Life is tough. If it gives you anything beyond justice, truth, wisdom and courage, then carpe the diem out of it.’
1. Get on with it
Time is running out for all of us. While you might want to live to a ripe old age, even if you do, chances are that your mind won’t be as sharp as it used to be.
Sure, your body may hold up OK (more or less), but if your mind starts to go south, you’ll struggle to keep everything together, to make the best decisions, to get stuff done.
So what are you waiting for? It’s not just that the Grim Reaper may show up at any minute, do the stuff that matters while your mind is up to the job.
2. Go deeper
There’s something really pleasing about the natural world. It’s not perfect, of course. There are cracks and blemishes all over the place. But when you see things in their natural setting, they just look right.
So, when you look around you, don’t get taken in by perfection (it’s probably just Photoshopped anyway). Look deeper. Enjoy every last wonder the real world has to offer.
3. Dead clever
No matter how clever Einstein was, he didn’t outsmart death. James Dean was a great actor and left a fine-looking corpse. By all accounts, Princess Diana was a lovely woman who did great things for charity (until her untimely end in a tunnel in Paris).
So what’s the point?
Simply this: You get on board, you travel, you arrive (sooner or later). After that, who knows? If you believe in any sort of god, hopefully they’ll be waiting. If not, all your cares and troubles will be at an end anyway.
4. Never heard of them
Don’t waste your time obsessing over others unless it’s to some sort of mutual advantage for you both (face it, they probably won’t read your tweet and certainly won’t remember it an hour later). Just think what else you could use this time for. So ditch this kind of thinking and focus on the important stuff.
Get to the point where if someone suddenly asks, ‘What are you thinking about?’ you can immediately give an answer that shows that you’re a simple, kind person with no time for the rubbish that fills so many people’s heads.
It’ll demonstrate that you’re not ruled by petty distractions, that you are content with whatever the world throws at you,
that you just don’t care what others are saying or thinking or doing.
Achieve this and you’ll be able to stay focused on doing some good in the world, whether it’s to fulfil your own destiny (no matter how grand or modest) or help others navigate the choppy waters of life.
And as for all those celebs, attention junkies and energy vampires that suck up so much attention? Screw them.
5. When you act, act
Don’t do anything you’re not willing to do. Avoid acting on the spur of the moment. And when you do act, give it your all – don’t be half-hearted.
Don’t waste your time talking up what you’re going to do. Say just what you mean and do what you say you will.
We all play many roles: parent, child, friend, lover, boss, employee. Play them all without expecting praise or validation from others. And smile damn it!
Make it clear that you don’t need anyone’s help, that you can stand on your own two feet and don’t need propping up by others.
6. Do the right thing
Life is tough. If it gives you anything beyond justice, truth, wisdom and courage, then carpe the diem out of it.
On the flip side, if it gives you nothing but your ability to rely on yourself and your own mind for guidance, then ignore all the other crap that’ll distract you from being your best self.
These distractions will kill you – no matter whether it’s getting 10,000 followers on Instagram, making a million, or getting laid in ways there isn’t even a Pornhub category for.
