Specimen Days & Collect

by Walt Whitman

  Living as he did, the young man was an unhappy being. It was not so much that his associates were below his own capacity—for Langton, though sensible and well bred, was not highly talented or refined—but that he lived without any steady purpose, that he had no one to attract him to his home, that he too easily allow’d himself to be tempted—which caused his life to be, of late, one continued scene of dissatisfaction. This dissatisfaction he sought to drive away by the brandy bottle, and mixing in all kinds of parties where the object was pleasure. On the present occasion he had left the city a few days before, and was passing his time at a place near the village where Charles and his mother lived. He fell in, during the day, with those who were his companions of the tavern spree; and thus it happen’d that they were all together. Langton hesitated not to make himself at home with any associate that suited his fancy.

  The next morning the poor widow rose from her sleepless cot; and from that lucky trait in our nature which makes one extreme follow another, she set about her toil with a lighten’d heart. Ellis, the farmer, rose, too, short as the nights were, an hour before day; for his god was gain, and a prime article of his creed was to get as much work as possible from every one around him. In the course of the day Ellis was called upon by young Langton, and never perhaps in his life was the farmer puzzled more than at the young man’s proposal—his desire to provide for the widow’s family, a family that could do him no pecuniary good, and his willingness to disburse money for that purpose. The widow, too, was called upon, not only on that day, but the next and the next.

  It needs not that I should particularize the subsequent events of Langton’s and the boy’s history—how the reformation of the profligate might be dated to begin from that time—how he gradually sever’d the guilty ties that had so long gall’d him—how he enjoy’d his own home again—how the friendship of Charles and himself grew not slack with time—and how, when in the course of seasons he became head of a family of his own, he would shudder at the remembrance of his early dangers and his escapes.

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  LINGAVE’S TEMPTATION.

  “Another day,” utter’d the poet Lingave, as he awoke in the morning, and turn’d him drowsily on his hard pallet, “another day comes out, burthen’d with its weight of woes. Of what use is existence to me? Crush’d down beneath the merciless heel of poverty, and no promise of hope to cheer me on, what have I in prospect but a life neglected, and a death of misery?”

  The youth paused; but receiving no answer to his questions, thought proper to continue the peevish soliloquy. “I am a genius, they say,” and the speaker smiled bitterly, “but genius is not apparel and food. Why should I exist in the world, unknown, unloved, press’d with cares, while so many around me have all their souls can desire? I behold the splendid equipages roll by—I see the respectful bow at the presence of pride—and I curse the contrast between my own lot, and the fortune of the rich. The lofty air—the show of dress—the aristocratic demeanor—the glitter of jewels—dazzle my eyes; and sharp-tooth’d envy works within me. I hate these haughty and favor’d ones. Why should my path be so much rougher than theirs? Pitiable, unfortunate man that I am! to be placed beneath those whom in my heart I despise—and to be constantly tantalized with the presence of that wealth I cannot enjoy!” And the poet cover’d his eyes with his hands, and wept from very passion and fretfulness.

  O, Lingave! be more of a man! Have you not the treasures of health and untainted propensities, which many of those you envy never enjoy? Are you not their superior in mental power, in liberal views of mankind, and in comprehensive intellect? And even allowing you the choice, how would you shudder at changing, in total, conditions with them! Besides, were you willing to devote all your time and energies, you could gain property too: squeeze, and toil, and worry, and twist everything into a matter of profit, and you can become a great man, as far as money goes to make greatness.

  Retreat, then, man of the polish’d soul, from those irritable complaints against your lot—those longings for wealth and puerile distinction, not worthy your class. Do justice, philosopher, to your own powers. While the world runs after its shadows and its bubbles, (thus commune in your own mind,) we will fold ourselves in our circle of understanding, and look with an eye of apathy on those things it considers so mighty and so enviable. Let the proud man pass with his pompous glance—let the gay flutter in finery—let the foolish enjoy his folly, and the beautiful move on in his perishing glory; we will gaze without desire on all their possessions, and all their pleasures. Our destiny is different from theirs. Not for such as we, the lowly flights of their crippled wings. We acknowledge no fellowship with them in ambition. We composedly look down on the paths where they walk, and pursue our own, without uttering a wish to descend, and be as they. What is it to us that the mass pay us not that deference which wealth commands? We desire no applause, save the applause of the good and discriminating—the choice spirits among men. Our intellect would be sullied, were the vulgar to approximate to it, by professing to readily enter in, and praising it. Our pride is a towering, and thrice refined pride.

  When Lingave had given way to his temper some half hour, or thereabout, he grew more calm, and bethought himself that he was acting a very silly part. He listen’d a moment to the clatter of the carts, and the tramp of early passengers on the pave below, as they wended along to commence their daily toil. It was just sunrise, and the season was summer. A little canary bird, the only pet poor Lingave could afford to keep, chirp’d merrily in its cage on the wall. How slight a circumstance will sometimes change the whole current of our thoughts! The music of that bird abstracting the mind of the poet but a moment from his sorrows, gave a chance for his natural buoyancy to act again.

  Lingave sprang lightly from his bed, and perform’d his ablutions and his simple toilet—then hanging the cage on a nail outside the window, and speaking an endearment to the songster, which brought a perfect flood of melody in return—he slowly passed through his door, descended the long narrow turnings of the stairs, and stood in the open street. Undetermin’d as to any particular destination, he folded his hands behind him, cast his glance upon the ground, and moved listlessly onward.

  Hour after hour the poet walk’d along—up this street and down that—he reck’d not how or where. And as crowded thoroughfares are hardly the most fit places for a man to let his fancy soar in the clouds—many a push and shove and curse did the dreamer get bestow’d upon him.

  The booming of the city clock sounded forth the hour twelve—high noon.

  “Ho! Lingave!” cried a voice from an open basement window as the poet pass’d.

  He stopp’d, and then unwittingly would have walked on still, not fully awaken’d from his reverie.

  “Lingave, I say!” cried the voice again, and the person to whom the voice belong’d stretch’d his head quite out into the area in front, “Stop man. Have you forgotten your appointment?”

  “Oh! ah!” said the poet, and he smiled unmeaningly, and descending the steps, went into the office of Ridman, whose call it was that had startled him in his walk.

  Who was Ridman? While the poet is waiting the convenience of that personage, it may be as well to describe him.

  Ridman was a money-maker. He had much penetration, considerable knowledge of the world, and a disposition to be constantly in the midst of enterprise, excitement, and stir. His schemes for gaining wealth were various; he had dipp’d into almost every branch and channel of business. A slight acquaintance of several years’ standing subsisted between him and the poet. The day previous a boy had call’d with a note from Ridman to Lingave, desiring the presence of the latter at the money-maker’s room. The poet return’d for answer that he would be there. This was the engagement which he came near breaking.

  Ridman had a smooth tongue. All his ingenuity was needed in the explanation to his companion of why and wherefore the latter had been sent for.

  It is not requisite to state specifically
the offer made by the man of wealth to the poet. Ridman, in one of his enterprises, found it necessary to procure the aid of such a person as Lingave—a writer of power, a master of elegant diction, of fine taste, in style passionate yet pure, and of the delicate imagery that belongs to the children of song. The youth was absolutely startled at the magnificent and permanent remuneration which was held out to him for a moderate exercise of his talents.

  But the nature of the service required! All the sophistry and art of Ridman could not veil its repulsiveness. The poet was to labor for the advancement of what he felt to be unholy—he was to inculcate what would lower the perfection of man. He promised to give an answer to the proposal the succeeding day, and left the place.

  Now during the many hours there was a war going on in the heart of the poor poet. He was indeed poor; often, he had no certainty whether he should be able to procure the next day’s meals. And the poet knew the beauty of truth, and adored, not in the abstract merely, but in practice, the excellence of upright principles.

  Night came. Lingave, wearied, lay upon his pallet again and slept. The misty veil thrown over him, the spirit of poesy came to his visions, and stood beside him, and look’d down pleasantly with her large eyes, which were bright and liquid like the reflection of stars in a lake.

  Virtue, (such imagining, then, seem’d conscious to the soul of the dreamer,) is ever the sinew of true genius. Together, the two in one, they are endow’d with immortal strength, and approach loftily to Him from whom both spring. Yet there are those that having great powers, bend them to the slavery of wrong. God forgive them! for they surely do it ignorantly or heedlessly. Oh, could he who lightly tosses around him the seeds of evil in his writings, or his enduring thoughts, or his chance words—could he see how, haply, they are to spring up in distant time and poison the air, and putrefy, and cause to sicken—would he not shrink back in horror? A bad principle, jestingly spoken—a falsehood, but of a word—may taint a whole nation! Let the man to whom the great Master has given the might of mind, beware how he uses that might. If for the furtherance of bad ends, what can be expected but that, as the hour of the closing scene draws nigh, thoughts of harm done, and capacities distorted from their proper aim, and strength so laid out that men must be worse instead of better, through the exertion of that strength—will come and swarm like spectres around him?

  “Be and continue poor, young man,” so taught one whose counsels should be graven on the heart of every youth, “while others around you grow rich by fraud and disloyalty. Be without place and power, while others beg their way upward. Bear the pain of disappointed hopes, while others gain the accomplishment of their flattery. Forego the gracious pressure of a hand, for which others cringe and crawl. Wrap yourself in your own virtue, and seek a friend and your daily bread. If you have, in such a course, grown gray with unblench’d honor, bless God and die.”

  When Lingave awoke the next morning, he despatch’d his answer to his wealthy friend, and then plodded on as in the days before.

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  LITTLE JANE.

  “Lift up!” was ejaculated as a signal!—and click! went the glasses in the hands of a party of tipsy men, drinking one night at the bar of one of the middling order of taverns. And many a wild gibe was utter’d, and many a terrible blasphemy, and many an impure phrase sounded out the pollution of the hearts of these half-crazed creatures, as they toss’d down their liquor, and made the walls echo with their uproar, The first and foremost in recklessness was a girlish-faced, fair-hair’d fellow of twenty-two or three years. They called him Mike. He seem’d to be look’d upon by the others as a sort of prompter, from whom they were to take cue. And if the brazen wickedness evinced by him in a hundred freaks and remarks to his companions, during their stay in that place, were any test of his capacity—there might hardly be one more fit to go forward as a guide on the road of destruction. From the conversation of the party, it appear’d that they had been spending the early part of the evening in a gambling house.

  A second, third and fourth time were the glasses fill’d; and the effect thereof began to be perceiv’d in a still higher degree of noise and loquacity among the revellers. One of the serving-men came in at this moment, and whisper’d the barkeeper, who went out, and in a moment return’d again.

  “A person,” he said, “wish’d to speak with Mr. Michael. He waited on the walk in front.”

  The individual whose name was mention’d, made his excuses to the others, telling them he would be back in a moment, and left the room. As he shut the door behind him, and stepp’d into the open air, he saw one of his brothers—his elder by eight or ten years—pacing to and fro with rapid and uneven steps. As the man turn’d in his walk, and the glare of the street lamp fell upon his face, the youth, half-benumb’d as his senses were, was somewhat startled at its paleness and evident perturbation.

  “Come with me!” said the elder brother, hurriedly, “the illness of our little Jane is worse, and I have been sent for you.”

  “Poh!” answered the young drunkard, very composedly, “is that all? I shall be home by-and-by,” and he turn’d back again.

  “But, brother, she is worse than ever before. Perhaps when you arrive she may be dead.”

  The tipsy one paus’d in his retreat, perhaps alarm’d at the utterance of that dread word, which seldom fails to shoot a chill to the hearts of mortals. But he soon calm’d himself, and waving his hand to the other:

  “Why, see,” said he, “a score of times at least, have I been call’d away to the last sickness of our good little sister; and each time it proves to be nothing worse than some whim of the nurse or physician. Three years has the girl been able to live very heartily under her disease; and I’ll be bound she’ll stay on the earth three years longer.”

  And as he concluded this wicked and most brutal reply, the speaker open’d the door and went into the bar-room. But in his intoxication, during the hour that follow’d, Mike was far from being at ease. At the end of that hour, the words, “perhaps when you arrive she may be dead,” were not effaced from his hearing yet, and he started for home. The elder brother had wended his way back in sorrow.

  Let me go before the younger one, awhile, to a room in that home. A little girl lay there dying. She had been ill a long time; so it was no sudden thing for her parents, and her brethren and sisters, to be called for the witness of the death agony. The girl was not what might be called beautiful. And yet, there is a solemn kind of loveliness that always surrounds a sick child. The sympathy for the weak and helpless sufferer, perhaps, increases it in our own ideas. The ashiness and the moisture on the brow, and the film over the eyeballs—what man can look upon the sight, and not feel his heart awed within him? Children, I have sometimes fancied too, increase in beauty as their illness deepens.

  Besides the nearest relatives of little Jane, standing round her bedside, was the family doctor. He had just laid her wrist down upon the coverlet, and the look he gave the mother, was a look in which there was no hope.

  “My child!” she cried, in uncontrollable agony, “O! my child!”

  And the father, and the sons and daughters, were bowed down in grief, and thick tears rippled between the fingers held before their eyes.

  Then there was silence awhile. During the hour just by-gone, Jane had, in her childish way, bestow’d a little gift upon each of her kindred, as a remembrancer when she should be dead and buried in the grave. And there was one of these simple tokens which had not reach’d its destination. She held it in her hand now. It was a very small much-thumbed book—a religious story for infants, given her by her mother when she had first learn’d to read.

  While they were all keeping this solemn stillness—broken only by the suppress’d sobs of those who stood and watch’d for the passing away of the girl’s soul—a confusion of some one entering rudely, and speaking in a turbulent voice, was heard in an adjoining apartment. Again the voice roughly sounded out; it was the voice of the drunkard M
ike, and the father bade one of his sons go and quiet the intruder.

  “If nought else will do,” said he sternly, “put him forth by strength. We want no tipsy brawlers here, to disturb such a scene as this.”

  For what moved the sick girl uneasily on her pillow, and raised her neck, and motion’d to her mother? She would that Mike should be brought to her side. And it was enjoin’d on him whom the father had bade to eject the noisy one, that he should tell Mike his sister’s request, and beg him to come to her.

  He came. The inebriate—his mind sober’d by the deep solemnity of the scene—stood there, and leaned over to catch the last accounts of one who soon was to be with the spirits of heaven. All was the silence of the deepest night. The dying child held the young man’s hand in one of hers; with the other she slowly lifted the trifling memorial she had assigned especially for him, aloft in the air. Her arm shook—her eyes, now becoming glassy with the death-damps, were cast toward her brother’s face. She smiled pleasantly, and as an indistinct gurgle came from her throat, the uplifted hand fell suddenly into the open palm of her brother’s, depositing the tiny volume there. Little Jane was dead.

  From that night, the young man stepped no more in his wild courses, but was reform’d.

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  DUMB KATE.

  Not many years since—and yet long enough to have been before the abundance of railroads, and similar speedy modes of conveyance—the travelers from Amboy village to the metropolis of our republic were permitted to refresh themselves, and the horses of the stage had a breathing spell, at a certain old-fashion’d tavern, about half way between the two places. It was a quaint, comfortable, ancient house, that tavern. Huge buttonwood trees embower’d it round about, and there was a long porch in front, the trellis’d work whereof, though old and moulder’d, had been, and promised still to be for years, held together by the tangled folds of a grape vine wreath’d about it like a tremendous serpent.