A Knight of Vengeance: (The Valiant Love Regency Romance) (A Historical Romance Book)

by Deborah Wilson

  “And just what is it you write to introduce these men to our written language?” Nicholas moved closer. “Perhaps, something that will warm them on even the coldest nights? Heat their blood? Push them to want things they shouldn’t?”

  He kept coming toward her, his every step shattering her resolve, his words torture to her sense.

  Why could she feel what he suggested?

  Why did she feel like it applied to her? She wanted—had wanted—something she couldn’t have. Him.

  But then he’d crushed her.

  She stopped her retreat and found her strength in that memory. “You wish to know what I wrote in my letters?”

  Nicholas stopped just a few inches from her. He lowered his chin. His expression was unreadable and even more intimidating than when he brooded.

  It was as though he no longer cared for her words or for her. “What is contained in your letters?”

  She lowered her voice. “You’ll never know.”

  His eyes flashed. “Join me in the hall. Now.” He turned and walked away.

  Elisa pushed out a breath and lowered the rage building within her. Years of pretending to be mad in order to get out of marrying Alguire had put an uncontrollable fire inside of her.

  She could go mad whenever the heat burned too much, and Nicholas’ antics were not helping her control her rage.

  “Would you like me to speak to him instead?” Astger had become her champion in the last few days.

  Her first impression of him had been a man who was far too serious far too often in the day. That impression hadn’t changed, but now she knew that underneath his hard exterior was a very kind soul. He cared for people. He cared for his men above all else.

  She walked over to the general and touched his arm. “Thank you, but I’ll speak to him.”

  In an effort to not embarrass herself in front of the men, she told her students, “Please, go over your letters. I’ll return soon.” She stepped into the hall and closed the door behind her.

  ∫ ∫ ∫

  1 2

  * * *

  Elisa noticed Nicholas instantly.

  He stood at the end of the hall.

  The castle’s halls were narrow and could be quite dark.

  He stood by the window, looking out at what she knew was a well-kept winter garden.

  The light from outside cast him in shadows, the light cutting around his large physique.

  She stopped a few feet from him and lowered her eyes to keep from studying every line of his body.

  He turned to her.

  His silence forced her to look up.

  He was looking at her hair.

  Instinctively, she tried to pat the curls down. She’d always had unruly hair, but it was made even worse when the doctors cut it.

  Nick grabbed her hand. “Don’t.” He put her hand done. “It’s…”

  She waited for a response.

  His next words were said harshly. “I’ve thought about all you said in the music room, and I find that I agree.”

  Her eyes widened in shock.

  He went on, “I didn’t know you were teaching the men to read. I hadn’t known there were men in Cassius’ company who didn’t know how to read.”

  “It was not something the men wished others to know about,” she said when she could find her voice.

  “Pride has been known to make fools out of men.” He tried for a smile, but it didn’t stick. “Rank makes no difference.”

  Elisa got the sense that he was speaking about himself. Was this an apology? “I suppose women can be the same way at times.”

  “Well, If you are in need of any supplies while you are here that will aid their learning, please do not hesitate to ask.”

  The words were nothing like those she’d expected.

  He lifted a brow and spoke as though reading her mind. “Not what you expected, I’m sure, but I do value education and believe reading is the door that opens the mind to everything else. It is freedom you are offering them, my lady.” His eyes changed in an unreadable way, but the tension was gone. They’d softened but revealed nothing of his thoughts except his sincere approval. “I thank you for what you are doing here, though I’m certain the men are more thankful.”

  Their conversation was not one she’d been prepared for.

  “Yes, they are thankful.” She was still upset by what he’d said in the carriage but put it aside for the moment. They seemed to be getting along. She wasn’t sure how she felt about that.

  For some reason, she thought the men being able to read meant something personal to Nicholas, but she didn’t inquire.

  He cleared his throat. “They are all good fighters. If teaching keeps them near you then so be it. It is their duty to defend you.”

  “I saw the moat,” she found herself saying, even as she told herself they needed to end this conversation soon. “Lord Astger showed me the drawbridge and other defenses. I doubt Alguire shall come for me.”

  “He will,” Nicholas said. “At the moment, he likely doesn’t know where you are. This is not my only property and it’s my most recently acquired.”

  She tilted her head. She couldn’t resist asking, “How is it that you gained a castle?” As he’d said, it was not of the grandness of Buckingham, but she felt a history in it. She couldn’t see such a treasure being given to a third son.

  Astger had told her that Nicholas had two older brothers; the eldest was the Marquess of Venmont.

  “It was a payment.”

  “For?” she asked.

  He became so silent that Elisa became apprehensive about the answer. The fixed position of his blue eyes made it all the worse. They seemed to penetrate.

  He was close but still distant, a far-off look in his eyes, even as he was looking right at her. “His life,” he eventually said.

  That answer only made her want to ask more, but she sensed doing so would be a bad idea.

  He spoke before she could make up her mind. “You said you wrote a letter for every man here to protect you.”

  She knew what was coming. She tightened her belly and waited.

  “Where is my letter?” he asked.

  She thought to tell him that she didn’t have one for him. It was what he deserved, after all. He’d been rude. He’d hurt her.

  He was not the gentleman she’d thought him to be.

  Her body settled when she realized that she would not allow him to make her the woman he suspected her to be. “I have it.”

  Again, he was surprised. “You do? You wrote me a letter?”

  She licked her lips. “Yes.”

  His gaze trailed to her mouth. “Where is it?

  “It’s in my room.”

  His eyes darkened.

  “But I’m not certain I shall ever give it to you,” she rushed to say.

  “And why is that?” he asked, his hands behind his back as he leaned farther in.

  She could smell him now. His scent brought with it the memory of being held in his arms.

  When he’d offered her aid, she’d thought it to come in the manner most gentlemen gave it. She’d thought he’d use his wealth and power to tell others what to do, but Elisa had learned otherwise as Alguire was dragged out into the snow.

  Nicholas was dangerous. Yet while he offered men bodily harm if they came near her, he offered Elisa a different sort of harm, one that could truly drive her mad one day.

  Her heart raced. She could tell him that he’d hurt her, but she feared the consequences of sharing any more of herself with him. Her letter would surely do that and more.

  The letter she’d written was addressed to him but wasn’t necessarily for his eyes. Writing was simply her way of releasing her feelings in the quietest manner.

  So, instead of risking the pain of a second rejection, she said, “I don’t believe you deserve my letter, my lord.”

  Nicholas visibly stiffened. “Yet you wrote it.”

  “Yes,” she whispered.

  The space between
them suddenly disappeared. His voice dipped in a way that caused Elisa to shiver. “The letter is in your room?”

  “Yes.”

  “Then perhaps, I should just steal it.”

  She jumped at the feel of his hand cupping the back of her neck.

  Her mind shouted no.

  Her body screamed yes.

  His head lowered.

  Her eyes closed.

  “Do you need any assistance, my lady?” Astger’s voice smashed into the lust and stole Elisa’s breath.

  Nicholas growled and tightened his hand on her neck.

  “Oh!” Elisa stepped back, forcing him to let her go. “If you’ll excuse me. I’ve very little time to change the lives of six men. I’m sorry, but I must go. Good day.” She turned and left before she could say anymore.

  Astger met her at the door to the music room, grabbed her hand, and placed it on his arm before leading her through the door. She was still dazed when Nicholas called to her.

  “Dinner.”

  She stopped and looked at him. “What?”

  “Dinner. Join me in the dining hall this evening. It is what Dr. Sparrow has asked for.”

  She nodded. For Dr. Sparrow, she would go to dinner.

  At least, she told herself it was for the good doctor, but truly, she wasn’t sure.

  ∫ ∫ ∫

  1 3

  * * *

  That hair.

  It had been everywhere.

  It had been glorious.

  How was it that he’d not seen it until today? When he’d first met her, he’d seen a glimpse,

  Someone had cut it. The strands were nearly even except for in the front. There was an array of colors. Golds and burnt oranges.

  It had caught him off guard.

  He liked to blame her entrancing beauty as the reason he’d acted out, but that would be a lie.

  What had made him share the truth with her about how he’d gained the castle? He didn’t know, but he’d been surprised by her lack of worry at his words.

  That was not to say there hadn’t been fear in her eyes, but the fear was there for a completely different reason. It had been mixed with desire.

  Nicholas fisted his hands and turned to the window in his office.

  The woman was going to turn him mad. He would need a bed in Bedlam before these weeks came to an end.

  It had been almost a week since he’d seen her, yet the moment he’d caught sight of her, laughing and grinning at other men, he’d become possessed. Astger had said nothing about the reading lessons or the fact that she’d written every man in his company a letter.

  She’d written him one as well, and she was right, he didn’t deserve it.

  He didn’t need mementos of her left behind when she left. He hoped she burned it.

  He was burning for her.

  The woman he’d spoken to an hour ago had been far from mad, yet even Maria had had her moments of peace. Then something would set her off and only Nicholas had been able to distract her, cool her anger or sadness.

  That connection had led Nicholas to believe he could handle her.

  Now, she wished to handle no one but himself and, at the moment, he was struggling to do even that.

  The sound of the door opening didn’t surprise him. Neither did Astger’s voice.

  “Are you not the same man who reminded me a few hours ago that the lady had an intended?” the general asked.

  Nicholas scoffed but kept his back to the general. “I don’t know? Am I the same man? She scrambles my thoughts.”

  “I am… uncertain as to why you are telling me this or how I should respond.”

  Nick turned around to face him.

  Astger ran a hand through his hair. An uncomfortable look came across his features. “My men don’t usually express their feelings so openly.”

  “But surely, your friends do.”

  Astger seemed to ponder for a moment and then nodded. “Elisa expresses herself very well.”

  “Elisa? Is she your only friend?”

  “She’s the only one who has called me one aloud and repeatedly. Admittedly, it made me uncomfortable at first. I thought she would try and use my kindness against me and perhaps encourage me to convince you to take her to London.”

  So Astger knew about her desire to be in London as well. “And is that why you’ve come? Is it on her behalf? Are you going to suggest we go to London?”

  “No, she hasn’t brought it up since the carriage ride here. And I’ve begun to doubt she wishes to leave her pupils. However, she has expressed other things to me.”

  “Like what?” Nicholas moved closer to the man, greedy for access into Elisa’s mind.

  “I can’t say.” Astger placed a hand over his heart. “As her friend, I have been entrusted with her secrets. And since none of them have anything to do with our purpose here, I shall take them to my grave.”

  More secrets. More things Astger and his men knew that Nicholas did not.

  He didn’t like that. This was his home. He wanted to know everything about her, now more than ever.

  He also knew he needed to stay away from her, yet there seemed to be no middle ground.

  She’d surprised him so very thoroughly with her methods of education and her thoughtfulness toward the soldiers.

  Many of them were away from home often. It was kind of her to write them even if they were in the same building.

  When was the last time anyone had written him anything that wasn’t about business?

  It seemed that if Nicholas wished to have his own letter, he would have to spend time with her, earn it, deserve it as she’d stated.

  “The letter,” Nicholas asked, “What’s it like?”

  “It was just as lovely as she.” Astger touched his breast pocket. He was carrying it on him. “The men who’ve read theirs love it and her. She’s become adored by both my men and your staff. She can be… erratic at times.” He grinned. “Her antics are unusual, but she has a good heart.”

  Nicholas wanted his letter. “I’ll see you at dinner.”

  “Perhaps, you shouldn’t be there,” Astger said. “You don’t seem capable of keeping your hands… or your mouth to yourself.”

  Nick scratched his chin. He needed to shave. He also needed to see Elisa again. The spark from earlier had not died. It likely wouldn’t. The very thought of her made him harden.

  He cursed.

  Maybe Astger was right. Nicholas could not mess this up. This was his chance to set things to rights. He would not let Elisa down.

  “I won’t go.” It was too dangerous. “You and Dr. Sparrow can keep her company.”

  “A wise decision.” Astger closed the door behind him, and Nicholas made arrangements to take his meal alone.

  ∫ ∫ ∫

  1 4

  * * *

  Elisa reminded herself that she always looked her best for dinner. Alguire had gifted her with an assortment of gowns, and she wore them, since it was either that or she would have to go without clothes entirely.

  She wore blue, not because she hoped Lord Nicholas would approve of the color, even enjoy it more than most other colors, but because she thought she looked well in it herself.

  Upon entering the parlor, she found Astger and Dr. Sparrow.

  They greeted her warmly.

  Astger gave her the answer to the question she hadn’t posed yet. “Lord Nicholas has decided to take his meal alone. He will not be joining us.”

  Disappointment was heavy in her belly. Even knowing that looking at Nicholas was like playing with fire, she couldn’t resist doing so. She wanted to play.

  After she’d finished with the men, she’d thought of nothing but what the future held for her.

  Nicholas had mentioned that she was betrothed to someone else and Astger, after a few questions, had revealed the same. Elisa didn’t know who this man was, but she didn’t love him.

  She would likely marry him if doing so would forever protect her from Alguire, but she felt
little hope in happiness.

  Nicholas frightened her. She feared his rejection just as much as she feared his touch. His eyes had been so hot with need. She feared never seeing that look again in a man’s eyes.

  She didn’t know if Astger and Dr. Sparrow would judge her for her thoughts. There was a greater chance they would disapprove of them more than anything else, but so long as she and Nicholas were discreet…

  What would Lord Nicholas think of her idea? What would he say?

  “Are you all right?” Dr. Sparrow moved forward and touched her forehead. His gaze was sharp. “Have you grown ill?”

  “No, I just… Why isn’t Lord Nicholas coming? Is he ill?”

  The general and the doctor looked at one another. Then the general said, “No. He’s simply decided it best to keep to himself.”

  “Oh.” He was avoiding her.

  Why?

  It would not do.

  “Excuse me.” She left the parlor before either man could stop her.

  She was aware that Dan, one of the soldiers, followed her, but he kept his distance.

  In the hall, she asked a staff member. “Where is Lord Nicholas taking his meal?”

  She was shown the way up to a tower and into a room with many books. The balcony door was open. The cold air that came into the room was a shock to her exposed skin, yet she didn’t leave.

  She turned to Dan. “Lord Nicholas is in here. I am safe. It is a private matter I wish to discuss. Please, wait here.”

  She closed the door before Dan could answer.

  Nicholas appeared from outside. In confusion, he walked straight to her. “What are you doing up here?” He stopped before her. “What’s the matter—”

  She placed a hand at the back of his neck, stood on her toes, and crushed her mouth to his open one. To align their lips, she tilted her head and slowly, Nicholas’ mouth closed down on hers.

  The brush of his tongue over hers scorched heat over her skin and sent a tingle down her spine. The feeling spread out and engulfed her. The cold was no more.

  He reached for her and Elisa set herself away. His hands trailed in her skirts. His eyes were pools of raging desire.

  She was certain her own need showed. “Come to dinner.”