Rogue Ever After (The Rogue Series Book 7)

by Tamsen Parker

  “Yeah, you’re hard for me.” Jonny tilted his hips, increasing the pressure as he ground against me. “I can feel you. Does that feel good, babe?”

  “Yes.” The word came out strangled right before Jonny plunged his tongue into my mouth.

  I was going to come in my pants; I was sure of it. Jonny’s tongue in my mouth, his fingers in my hair, his dick rubbing on mine—it was more than I could handle. I moaned into the kiss, trying to rein myself in, trying to slow down.

  Jonny pulled back, eyes dark, lips swollen, every breath shaky like he was as much on the brink as I was.

  “Jonny,” I whispered, in awe of the man I held in my arms.

  His eyes darkened even more, and he swallowed thickly. Then he stood up, holding out a hand in invitation. I took it, hoping the condoms I’d picked up from the student health center months ago hadn’t expired.

  Hand in hand, we took the few steps to my bed. He didn’t say anything. He didn’t need to. Jonny grabbed the hem of the hoodie and lifted it over his head, exposing skin and muscles and dips and valleys I could devote my life to studying. His hands went to his hips and in one motion his briefs and sweatpants were pooled on the floor. He was glorious, marvelous, a meeting of mind and body that left all others in the dust. Michelangelo’s David had nothing on Jonny.

  “God, Brandon. When you look at me like that.” Jonny brushed his fingers through my hair, across my cheek. I turned into his palm and pressed my lips against it, letting the heat of his touch drive away all the uncertain thoughts that normally plagued me.

  I succumbed to the demands of my desire and dropped to my knees. I set my mouth to his stomach, wanting him to fill all my senses. Jonny drew in a sharp breath, his muscles tightening under my lips. Warm, clean skin, soft and hard at the same time—it was an aphrodisiac. I held his narrow hips in my hands as I kissed down to the base of his groin where his dick stood up, hard and proud. Magnificent.

  I pressed my cheek against it, and it jumped. Jonny shuddered above me. A tightly wound “fuck” escaped him.

  I ran my tongue up the length, tracing all the bumps and ridges along the way. When I got to the top, I closed my lips around the head and sucked. Delicious, intoxicating, exquisite. Jonny’s dick was a feast, and I was hungry for it.

  “Fuck, Brandon.” Jonny’s fingers tightened in my hair. His ass trembled under my palms. Elation flowed through me at his response.

  He pulled himself away from me, bent down, and attacked my mouth while tugging at my sweater. I lifted my arms so he could rid me of it and then stood to my feet as he reached for the waistband of my jeans.

  “We need lube and condoms,” Jonny said as he pushed my briefs down with my jeans.

  I nodded, noting his use of plural. What I wouldn’t give to use every single condom I could get my hands on with Jonny.

  I kept my supplies in a box under my bed, and I pulled it out as Jonny made himself comfortable on the bed.

  “What do you want, Brandon?” Jonny asked, one arm behind his head, the other stroking his wet dick.

  I froze with my hand wrapped around the crinkly foil packets, eyes glued to where the head of his dick disappeared into his grip. I wanted Jonny to spread me open, to impale and possess me. I needed it in the very core of my being. I swallowed thickly, and with a raspy voice, I croaked, “Fuck me, please.”

  “Yes, fuck, come here.”

  I crawled over to him and laid down as he moved above me. His hands were hot on my body, his mouth scorching, trailing a path from my collarbone down to my groin until every inch of me was in flames. He took my dick into his mouth, his lips stretched thin, cheeks hollowed. It was a furnace, wet and searing, consuming me whole.

  “Jonny, please.”

  He pushed my legs wide and settled between them. His fingers found my hole, and I cried out at the slow gentle circles he traced round and round. A battle raged inside me—lean forward into Jonny’s magic mouth or lean back onto his prodding fingers? I needed both.

  The first breach of a lube-slicked finger past the muscles of my ass undid me. Jonny’s name and pleads for more poured from me until Jonny covered my mouth with his lips.

  “I’ve got you, babe. I’ve got you,” he crooned as I whimpered.

  He made quick work of the condom, even checking the expiry date before rolling it on, then he was right there, running the head of his dick across my opening. It was divine. The gentle pressure against sensitized areas, teasing and tormenting me until I reached for him. “Jonnyyyyy.”

  The smile on his face was wicked, and I was utterly under its spell.

  He eased into me, a slow and steady burn that left me breathless and dizzy. Having Jonny inside me was better than I could have ever imagined. The stretch, the fullness, the burn, all of it magnified because it was Jonny, and I was in love. He moved, driving himself deeper into me, and I welcomed it with everything I was.

  Jonny braced himself with one hand above my shoulder. His other hand wrapped around my dick, a tight grip that had me teetering on the edge. Sweat dripped from his body, anointing me. Words like “amazing,” “incredible,” and “gorgeous” fell from his lips and watered my soul. He raised his head, looked into my eyes, and whispered my name. “Brandon.”

  I came.

  Harder than I’d ever come in my entire life. Like my body was being ripped apart from the inside out, and Jonny’s voice in my ear was the only thing that could piece me back together.

  He roared and slammed into me hard and held himself there until collapsing on top of me.

  “You okay?”

  “Mmhmm.” I nodded and wrapped my arms around him. Sticky skin against sticky skin, limbs entwined as we swapped lazy kisses. This was the definition of happiness.

  We cleaned up, climbed in under the covers, and I thanked climate change for bringing in a snowstorm right when I needed one.

  6

  I woke up sated and languid, an intelligent and adorable man snoring softly in my arms. I hadn’t felt quite so satisfied in a long time.

  Then my phone dinged with an incoming message, and I remembered the snowstorm, the cancelled flight, and the new flight I was supposed to be on today. The one that would take me away from Brandon.

  The reality that lay beyond the door of his apartment hit me hard and fast, leaving me struggling for air. I must have tightened my hold on Brandon because he stirred.

  He blinked slowly then ran the back of his hand over his eyes.

  “Good morning beautiful.”

  He glanced up at me as if wondering who I was talking to. A flush spread across his cheeks. “Good morning.”

  I kissed him, stale morning breath and all, giving into the need to feel him against me, to feel his hands on my body. I’d been inside of him last night, but if these were our last hours together, I wanted to know what it felt like to have him inside me. The supplies were still sitting on the floor next to the bed, and I twisted around to grab them.

  Hesitation flashed across Brandon’s face. “Uh, I don’t know if I can . . .”

  I stopped him with a finger on his lips. “No, it’s my turn.”

  “Oh.” His eyes grew wide and a little dazed, so precious my heart nearly burst from my chest. How in the world was I supposed to leave him and this thing we hadn’t even started?

  I poured all my far-fetched and impossible longings into a kiss, all my wishes and what-could-have-beens. We’d known each other less than a handful of days, but Brandon had wormed his way into my heart. What I felt couldn’t be love. It was too soon for love, and yet what other word was there?

  Under any other circumstance, I’d have preferred to drag it out, explore at length, and learn how to wring as much pleasure from each other as possible. But my need was too great, my hunger for him too urgent. He was hard and leaking by the time I slathered him up and sheathed him in latex. He watched me with wonder in his eyes, and I felt like a god under his gaze.

  On my knees above him, I prepped myself with rough fingers whi
le he ran feather-light touches along my thighs and up my sides. He was so gentle, so tender, that I had to choke down a sob. I pressed myself against his chest, mouth on his as he held me tight.

  “Brandon, I need you.”

  His breath hitched, and he nodded.

  I took his dick in my hand and held it steady as I sank down on it. “Yessss,” I hissed.

  Brandon’s fingers clamped onto my thighs as I rode him, driving us toward the climax as fast as I could.

  “Jonny.” He hiccupped, desperation in his voice.

  “Fuck, yes, Brandon, yes.” I held onto the back of his neck with one hand and jerked myself with the other. I slammed my mouth against his, hard and unyielding, as I sprayed my come between us.

  Brandon grabbed hold of my hips, braced his feet against the mattress, and kept fucking me, his dick inching deeper into me with each thrust. When he came, the look in his eyes was the end of me. We might not see each other again after I left, but I’d be forever changed for having known him.

  * * *

  We took a shower together with slick skin, soapy fingers, and wet kisses until the hot water ran out. Then I double checked my flight time while Brandon grabbed my laundry for me. With my stuff packed away and ready to go, I watched Brandon make scrambled eggs and toast.

  “Sorry I don’t have bacon or anything.” He apologized for the third time.

  “Don’t be. I’m the unexpected guest, remember?”

  He gave me a bashful smile, and I filed it away in my memory. But by the time he plated the eggs and toast, his smile had faded. Mine had, too.

  We ate mostly in silence, stealing little touches in between bites. We were almost finished when Brandon spoke.

  “You said you have a job offer at a think tank.”

  I could tell he was trying to sound upbeat, but there was no hiding the hint of sadness in his voice.

  “Yeah, it’s a pretty good position.” It had been a no-brainer before the snowstorm. I’d entertained the idea of the research fellowship in Toronto out of respect for the university, but I hadn’t been prepared to pick up my life and move across the country. Things felt different now, but were they really?

  “It’s not a done deal, though.” I heard myself saying words I knew I shouldn’t be saying. A flicker of hope sparked in Brandon’s eyes, and I hated myself a little for it. I didn’t have the right to suggest something I wasn’t ready to deliver. And yet I kept going. “I wouldn’t get the same interaction with students as I would with the research fellowship. The public dialogue is what I really like about my podcast. It’d be nice to have that in person regularly.”

  Brandon nodded. “Yeah, that would be nice.”

  I was such an asshole. “I need to think about it some more.”

  “Of course.”

  I could have kicked myself.

  We cleared the plates and then it was time for me to go. I called for a car from my phone, and we stood inside his door, watching the little avatar inch toward us on the screen. The closer it got, the faster my heart raced. It was too soon. I wanted more time.

  A honk sounded from the street.

  I drew Brandon in for a kiss, clinging tightly to him as if I could pull him into me and keep him with me forever. He squeezed me equally hard.

  “I’ll call you, okay? I will. I promise.” My voice was thick with emotion.

  “Okay.” He nodded and let me go. He opened the door to a blast of cold air and then stuck his hands into his pockets. “Good bye. Have a safe flight.”

  “Good bye.” I grabbed my suitcase and rushed out into the snow.

  * * *

  It’d been two weeks and he hadn’t called. He’d texted, and I’d texted back, but he hadn’t called like he’d promised he would. I could have called him, but every time I tried to, I chickened out. What if I caught him at a bad time? What if he’d only said he’d call to make me feel better?

  What did you expect, Brandon? You’ve known each other for one weekend.

  But we’d talked like I’d never talked with anyone else. And he’d looked at me like I was someone special.

  Scalding water spilled over the edge of the cup and onto my hand. “Shit!” I dropped the cup into the sink and shook my hand to ease the burn.

  “You okay, Brandon?” Simone asked from behind the cash register.

  “Yeah,” I muttered, examining my hand. A bit red, but I’d survive. I fished the cup out of the sink, dumped it into the garbage, and grabbed another to start over.

  When I set the finished drink down at the end of the counter, the customer gave me a sympathetic smile.

  “Why don’t you take your break?” Simone gave me a nudge toward the back room. “I don’t want a health and safety lawsuit on my hands.”

  I nodded and trudged away, tugging my phone out of my pocket along the way. I’d been checking it impulsively every five minutes since Jonny left. Still no call, but the latest episode of his podcast had downloaded.

  I hesitated. Everything inside of me longed to hear his voice again, but knowing the words would be heard by dozens, if not hundreds, of other people made them feel wrong somehow. I didn’t want to have to share him with other people. You’re such an idiot.

  I plugged in my headphones and hit play.

  Hello, my progressives! Welcome to another episode of Not Sorry, where we’re progressive, and we’re not sorry about it. I have a super exciting announcement to make! I have officially accepted a research fellowship at the University of Toronto, which means I’ll be moving across the country. All you east coasters better brace yourselves because I’ll be bringing the progressive wave to your shores!

  I hit stop.

  Jonny had accepted the research fellowship and was moving to Toronto. When had he decided? Why hadn’t he told me? Hurt lanced through me and sat like an anvil on my chest until I couldn’t breathe. It was stupid. Him coming back to Toronto meant we at least had some chance of being together. I should have been happy. Instead, all I could think about was the lack of phone calls since he’d left, him telling the whole world the big news before he told me. Maybe I’d worked up the thing between us into something more than it actually was.

  I stuffed my phone into my bag and went back to the front of the store. If he didn’t want to call me, then who was I to get upset about it? He was Jonny Lim, national podcasting celebrity; I was a random guy he’d hooked up with over a weekend. I finished out the rest of my shift in zombie mode, numb save for a single thought: if he calls, he calls, but don’t get your hopes up. Either way, you’ll be fine.

  I didn’t bother checking my phone at the end of my shift or when I got home. Only after I’d taken a shower and dressed in the hoodie I’d lent to Jonny was I brave enough to retrieve my phone. I stared at the screen, not quite believing what I saw. It had to be a trick. There were three missed calls and a new voicemail.

  My hands shook as I dialed the voicemail number.

  Hey Brandon, it’s me, Jonny. Listen, I’m sorry I haven’t called until now. I needed to think things through without . . . undue influence. I needed to make sure I was making this decision for the right reasons and not just because I’d met a cute guy I’d fallen completely head over heels for.

  Jonny sighed into the recording.

  I shouldn’t be doing this over voicemail. Can you call me? Please? I need to talk to you.

  I played the recording again, in case I’d gone completely off the rails and was making it all up. But I wasn’t. It was all there.

  I dialed his number and Jonny answered on the second ring.

  “Hello? Brandon?”

  “H—hi.”

  “Hey,” Jonny said with a relieved chuckle. “I was worried you wouldn’t call me back.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I’ve been a jerk, and I didn’t call you.”

  A little burst of vindication blossomed in my chest. “Yeah.”

  Jonny chuckled again. “I deserved that.”

  “Yeah.”

&
nbsp; A beat passed in silence. “I’ve missed you.”

  The hurt of the past two weeks welled up inside and threatened to consume me. “I’ve missed you, too.”

  “I’m sorry I haven’t called until now, Brandon. I really am. I wanted to, but I knew the moment I heard your voice I wouldn’t be able to think straight.”

  “Mmhmm.”

  “It’s a big decision, you know, and what we have is so new and intense and . . .” Jonny took a deep breath. “It scared me a little.”

  “Mmhmm.” His honesty was overwhelming, the words stripping away all my foolhardy attempts to be strong and unaffected.

  “I’m taking the research fellowship. At U of T. They’re letting me teach a course, and I’ll get to keep doing my podcast. There will be more networking opportunities in Toronto. I’ll benefit from the school’s relationships with other institutions. It’s a better long-term choice for my career.”

  “But your family. And the weather.”

  Jonny laughed out loud, not the hesitant chuckle of earlier, but the big laugh I loved. “I spoke with my family. They’ve agreed to pitch in for some serious winter weather gear. Besides, I’ve got you to keep me warm, if you still want me.”

  Happiness flowed through me, mixing with two weeks’ worth of anxiety and fear. The cocktail of emotions so thick I couldn’t speak. Tears prickled my eyes.

  “Brandon? You still there?”

  “Mmhmm.”

  “So . . . what do you think? Do you—”

  “Yes! Yes!” I finally blurted out as I shot off the couch. “I still want you. I’ve always wanted you.”

  “Oh thank God.” Jonny sucked in a shaky breath. “I wasn’t sure you would.”

  “I do.” I nodded vehemently in case he could sense it over the phone.

  “This is crazy, Brandon, but . . . I’ve got a good feeling about this.”

  A tear spilled onto my cheek. “I do, too.”

  Epilogue