Undressed

by Kimberly Derting

  I wasn’t sure I’d ever seen my mom cry before—I tried to remember if I had. But she was sobbing now, and I wondered why she’d never told me her story before. I pulled her close and wrapped my arms around her, waiting silently while she grieved for her long-dead brother. “I’m sorry . . . I’m so sorry,” I repeated over and over, and for the first time ever, I finally understood why my mother hated the water. Why she’d done her best to frighten me to keep me away from it. I wished she’d told me sooner. I still might have wanted to swim, but at least I would have respected how painful it was for her.

  I handed her the box of tissues I’d been carrying around the house with me.

  When she finally quieted, she straightened her shoulders. “It was a long, long time ago. I haven’t spoken about Roberto in years, but I think about him every time I look at you.” She stroked my cheek again. “You have his eyes.”

  I smiled. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you where I was going,” I said. “It’s just . . . I was just . . .” Why was it so hard to explain?

  My mom patted my knee. “You wanted to follow your own path. I get it. Believe me, I get it.” She inhaled deeply. “I swore I would never do to you the things my parents did to me, and yet, that’s exactly what I did when I convinced you to go to college in Arizona.”

  “What do you mean?”

  My mom sniffed, but her eyes were sparkling. “I mean . . . my parents weren’t exactly thrilled about your father.”

  “Why? What’s wrong with dad?” It was hard to imagine anyone not liking my father. Even growing up, whenever I was mad at my parents because they refused to see things my way, it was almost always my mom I argued with. My dad . . . it was impossible not to like him.

  “Nothing. Except he’s not Cuban, in case you hadn’t noticed. And he’s a dentist to boot. When my father left Cuba, he was a doctor—a real doctor,” she added with a nostalgic smile. “But when we moved here, he had to drive taxis just to make ends meet. I think my parents always expected me to marry a nice Hispanic boy and give them nice Hispanic grandbabies. When I met your father and told them I was moving to Colorado to be with him . . .” She laughed. “You’d have thought I had announced I was moving to the moon to become a Martian.”

  “But you did it anyway?”

  “Of course I did. It was my life, not theirs.” She met my gaze meaningfully, and I knew what she was telling me. It was my life, and it was time for me to make the decisions that were right for me. “Eventually they came around. And when you were born, do you know what your Nana said to me?” I shook my head and she pressed her hand to my cheek. “She told me she was glad I’d married your father because he’d given us you.”

  Now I was the one who was crying, and my mom passed the box of tissues back to me. “I wish I could’ve known her better.” My voice cracked as I blotted my eyes.

  “Me too, mi hija. Me too.”

  LAUREN

  It was getting dark by the time my mom finally left, and I wandered into the kitchen to force myself to eat, which was one of my mom’s conditions—I wasn’t allowed to starve myself. And just to be sure I held up my end, she’d left me a giant pot of paella, heavy on the prawns, along with enough lasagna to choke a horse. I guess she thought I was planning to dig in and stay for the winter.

  Neither alternative was particularly appetizing at the moment, which said more about my state of mind than about my mom’s cooking, so instead I popped a couple slices of bread in the toaster. While I waited, I glanced down at the faraway lake and watched the moon’s reflection hover on the surface of the dark water. Even though it was summer, it was cooler up here, high in the Rockies, than it had been on the California coast, so I pulled my sweater tighter around myself as the night temperatures dipped.

  When I heard the knocking at the front door, my pulse leapt, and I had to remind myself that even though the cabin was isolated, there were still neighbors who lived along the long road my parents had eponymously dubbed Taylor Street.

  Still, just because there were neighbors, I knew better than to take chances, and I glanced to where my mother had left the loaded shotgun propped against the wall, right next to the coat rack—a friendly little reminder that meant: “Hi, welcome to our humble abode, but try to fuck with me and I won’t hesitate to blow your brains out.”

  A little less sweet than one of those cross-stitch plaques that read: Home Sweet Home.

  I felt better knowing the gun was within arm’s reach as I crept to the door. It was probably just my mom anyway. She was always forgetting things and had to go back for them. Road trips always took twice as long with her.

  Opening the door, I was already starting to give her a hard time when my pulse slipped into overdrive. Whatever accusation I’d meant for my mother escaped on a gasp as I stood there, shaking my head, because this was wrong on so many levels.

  I’d come here to escape, to get away from everything—everyone. To make a clean break.

  But the truth came crashing down on me . . . you can never truly escape your past. The proof was standing in front of me, looking completely disheveled, his bloodshot eyes pinning me to the ground where I stood.

  “You didn’t think I would let you go that easily, did you?” Will said, his voice low and rusty around the edges, like it hadn’t been used in days.

  My throat threatened to close as my fingers flew to my neck.

  “Invite me in.”

  I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. Long seconds passed. Finally, I managed, “Will,” but I sounded just as raw as he had.

  “I mean it, Lauren. I’ve come all this way for you, and I want you to tell me to come in. You need to hear me out.” I opened my mouth to tell him no, but the anguish in his eyes and the hurt laced through his words forced me to step back instead.

  “How—how did you find me?” My hands shook as I closed the door behind him. I suddenly wished there was something that could guard my heart as efficiently as the shotgun could protect the cabin.

  My first thought, when I turned to face him, was that he looked like hell. He rubbed his hand over stubble that probably hadn’t been shaved in days, and his clothes looked like he’d been sleeping in them. His hair, which always had that sexy just-rolled-out-of-bed look, now stuck out in every direction, as if he had no use for mirrors.

  But not one of those things mattered. As disheveled as he was, I still wanted to dig my fingers through his hair, to feel his tongue against mine, to breathe him in and spread my legs for him. To feel him pulsing inside me.

  I took a step back because I had no business thinking of him that way.

  But for every pace I took, he took one toward me, and his stride was longer. It wasn’t long before he closed the distance I was trying to put between us.

  “I met your dad. Nice guy.” Will announced.

  My mouth had gone bone dry. “He wouldn’t just tell you where I was. He doesn’t even know you.”

  “But he knows your roommate. Emerson called to let him know I was coming.”

  I would have asked why no one bothered to warn me, but I already knew the answer. Even if I hadn’t smashed my cell phone to pieces, part of the cabin’s appeal, at least from my parents’ perspective, had always been disconnecting from all things electronic. Translation: No cell reception.

  “So he just gave you directions so you could ambush me? That doesn’t sound like something my dad would do.” I took another step back and smacked into the wall behind me.

  I was trapped, and suddenly Will was there too, standing directly in front of me. He flattened one palm against the pine wall beside my head, and he leaned in close. Just his nearness made my skin tingle. “He’s a reasonable guy, your dad, and after we talked a while, he understood why I needed to see you so badly. Plus, I’m pretty sure Emerson put in a few good words for me.”

  I could feel the blood rushing past my ears. Will’s presence—his piercing green eyes, his broad shoulders, not to mention whatever pheromones he was putting off—was wrea
king havoc on me, and making me second guess my every move.

  “You shouldn’t have come.” I’d meant to sound confident, but it came out detached, and even I didn’t buy it. I couldn’t think clearly. I needed to get away from him, so I tried to duck beneath his arm.

  But Will caught me, and once he was touching me, my senses were humming. Even through my sweater, his grip on my arm made me shiver. My body was as traitorous as Em had turned out to be.

  “Please,” Will rasped. “I don’t know everything, just what Emerson told me, but give me a chance. Talk to me. Let me help you figure this out.” He leaned his forehead against mine, and I didn’t stop him. I doubt I could have if I’d tried. There was something in his plea, something that made him seem somehow broken, and his undoing shattered me too.

  Without thinking, I reached up and pressed my palm against his cheek. “Will, don’t make me say it. You’d never understand.”

  He caught my wrist, and set my skin on fire. My eyes jerked to his. “Try me,” he whispered roughly. “All I’m asking is that you try me.”

  I swallowed, wondering how I’d ever find the right words. With Em it had been easy. I always knew she wouldn’t judge me. With Will, there was no way he wouldn’t. And what if, after I bared myself to him—really exposed the true me—he couldn’t stand to be around me? Couldn’t stomach me anymore? I wasn’t sure I could live with that. It was easier to run away.

  But was it really? His touch seared my skin until that was all I could think about.

  Will was here . . . Will was here . . . Will was here.

  “Emerson showed me the note you left her,” Will explained. “And the money you told her to give to my uncle. I don’t understand. Why did you leave money for my uncle, Lauren?”

  I wilted. He deserved this much at least. “Because of Tess. I met her at the rec center . . . where I volunteer.” I watched his expression shift, morphing from confusion as he told me he knew about my instructions for the money, to something in the neighborhood of clarity.

  He smiled wryly. “Yeah. She and I have talked a lot while you were gone. I told her about you . . . about us. So it was strange to find out she already knew you, and that you were part of the reason she has her new job.” His eyes narrowed on me. “But I still don’t get it; how did you even know about our uncle?”

  I continued, my throat aching as I realized I should have told him all this in the first place. “I overheard him—your uncle—threatening Tess one day when she was leaving. He told her he would send a social worker to your place and have her taken away from you if she didn’t get him more money.” I winced, because then his expression shifted again, this time going rigid and dark.

  “That piece of shit was threatening my sister? I’ll kill the bastard!”

  I reached up and ran my thumb across the muscle of his jaw, which was twitching. And then I couldn’t resist, I let my fingers stroke the thick stubble along his chin. “Probably not the best plan. Then Tess’ll have no one.” The last thing I wanted was for Will to get into trouble.

  He let out a shallow breath and frowned, looking torn. I knew this had to be tough for him. “You’re right,” he finally conceded, capturing my hand in his. “But your plan was just as bad. Guys like Cam don’t just take the cash and disappear.” His lips pressed into a hard line. “They’re like leeches. They latch on until they bleed you dry. He would have dragged this on until Tess turned eighteen.”

  I bit my lip. “What do you mean, would have?”

  “I mean, he no longer has anything to hold over us. You should have come to me instead of trying to handle him yourself; I’d never let anything happen to Tess. And I would never have forgiven myself if Cam had done something to you.” He rubbed his hand over his face. “It doesn’t matter now. The paperwork’s final, and I’ve got legal custody of Tess. Cam can’t fuck with us anymore.”

  “Will, that’s amazing! Tess must be beside herself.” I was so excited I forgot all about keeping Will at a distance, and I threw my arms around his neck. And when I pulled back, those intense, green eyes of his pierced right through me. And beneath me, I felt what he’d been reining in—every ounce of his potency . . . his longing . . . and his need—all bunched up and tense beneath me, just waiting to be unleashed.

  WILL

  I caught Lauren as she threw herself at me, and even though I knew she meant to congratulate me about Tess, that’s not what the embrace turned into. Once she was in my arms, once I could feel her body against mine, I could no longer resist her.

  I forgot all about my dickhead uncle and the nightmare I’d gone through searching for her. Her friend had helped me up to a point, but if she’d known where Lauren had run off to, she’d stayed tight lipped about it. The best she’d offered was to make introductions between me and Lauren’s old man. It had been up to me to convince the guy I was worthy of his only daughter.

  He’d made me work for it too. Grilled me about my life, my goals, and my intentions. He made me think long and hard about what kind of man I wanted to be.

  Through the entire process, one thing never wavered—I needed Lauren.

  And now that I was here, all I could concentrate on was the way she felt against me, and all the things I intended to do to her.

  When I opened my mouth, all the speeches I’d been planning in my head, about how reckless her behavior had been, about how I’d been out of my mind with worry when I’d realized she’d up and bolted, and everything else I’d come up with during the long drive from California to Colorado, flew out the window. “These were the worst fucking weeks of my life,” I confessed in a rush.

  I thought she might try to defend herself or explain her actions. Instead, I felt her lips, hot against my neck. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I’m so, so sorry.”

  And just hearing her voice and feeling her touch, but mostly her touch, everything inside me unwound. I crushed her to me and shoved her against the wall all in one swift motion. I kicked her legs apart, my knees keeping them pinned even though she wasn’t trying to stop me. “I don’t want to be without you again. Do you understand? Ever.”

  She watched me with those coffee-colored eyes of hers, nodding, while her lips parted in a slow smile. She was so damn soft and smelled so fucking amazing. I buried my hands in her hair and she leaned back, letting her head fall against the wall.

  I told myself I was the one in control, and I swore I’d go slow this time—not like last time when everything had been urgent, rushed. But even as I tried to convince myself, I wondered if I’d ever really be in control again. She was in my head, making a complete, fucking mess of me.

  When I felt her hips tilting forward to meet mine, I nearly lost myself. Groaning, I settled my mouth over hers and reached beneath her, lifting her all the way off the floor. I knew she could feel how hard I was, and I smiled around her breathless gasp as I carried her away from the wall and settled her down on the rug in front of the sofa.

  She was mine, she was mine, she was fucking mine . . .

  I hovered over her, mesmerized by the way she looked up at me with those incredibly liquid brown eyes of hers. My breath caught when her fingers slipped beneath my shirt, stripping it off and wandering over my skin. She planted sizzling kisses along my chest, nipping with her teeth in all the right places.

  Suddenly, there were too many clothes between us, and I stripped her of her sweater, her thin top, her jeans. Her bra was tiny and lacy, and barely covered those luscious breasts of hers, and I didn’t have to undo it because she did, giving me a meaningful grin as it burst open. I wanted to ravage her, but I forced myself to slow down.

  “I’ve thought about this for so long,” I told her, going to work on one of her succulent nipples. Her skin was sweet like honey and the peak of her nipple stiffened as my tongue caressed it. She moaned beneath me, making me even harder. I wasn’t sure how long I could hold out.

  When she reached for my jeans, I stopped her. “No way. You first.”

  She gave me
a puzzled look, and then, as I began to move lower, still glancing up to watch her, her eyes went wide with understanding and she bit back a smile.

  Goddamn, this girl would be the death of me.

  Her barely there panties were all that stood between me and her, as I lowered myself between her thighs. She was trembling as I held her hips. “Relax.” I let my thumbs find their way beneath the lace, moving slowly toward the center of her. “Trust me.”

  “I do,” she said, sounding so much bolder than I thought she would as she was the one to reach down and wiggle out of her underwear.

  My fingers parted her then, gliding inside of her. She was slippery and hot, and feeling her like that nearly pushed me to the brink. I lowered my head and my tongue slipped between her slick folds as I lost myself in the taste of her. I barely felt her fingers in my hair, barely heard as she whimpered my name or pressed her hips higher and harder as she begged me to finish what I’d started.

  I couldn’t get enough of her. And when she finally came, thrusting against me in one last, urgent shudder, I gripped her, waiting until she’d finished trembling.

  “Will,” she gasped, and it was a plea as she tore at me insistently, pulling me up and groping my jeans in an effort to get them off. I kissed her demandingly.

  I settled between her legs, trying not to scare her with how goddamned badly I needed her. I was so desperate to be inside of her.

  My mind went blank as I thrust, and then thrust again and again and again, burying myself as deep as I could get, telling myself to go slow even as I plunged into her harder and faster and harder again. It was over within minutes, and ended with me gasping, “Lauren,” and shuddering above her.

  I collapsed in a satisfied heap on top of her, my arms clamped around her. When I felt her stroking my back, I rolled to the side and took her with me, never, ever wanting to let her go.