Justified

by Jay Crownover

  Hayes was asleep on the couch when I finally dragged myself in my front door. He had the news muted on the TV. His high school was the lead story, and the rest of the town was featured as people reacted to the events of the last few days. His mouth was open, and a gentle snore escaped every now and then. His cell phone was clutched in his hand, and it looked like Aspen had covered him with a blanket at some point. He looked exhausted. Even in sleep, there were dark circles under his eyes and deep lines indented in his forehead. He was too young to have so many worries chasing him in his sleep, but I couldn’t protect him from the horrors of the world forever. He was going to be out there on his own soon, and all I could do was hope I’d given him the tools to make good choices not only for himself but for others as well. I lightly brushed the lines, trying to soothe them away without waking him up. He muttered something nonsensical under his breath and curled on his side toward the back of the couch. I tucked the blanket up around his shoulders and dropped a kiss on the top of his head. He was too damn big to carry to bed the way I had when he was little.

  I hauled myself toward my bedroom, excited to strip and do a face-plant onto my bed. The only thing better than getting twelve hours of sleep would be finding Aspen waiting for me between the covers. Only, my bed was empty. It would’ve been a crushing disappointment if I hadn’t heard the shower running in the master bathroom. Not only was she still here, waiting for me, but she was also wet and naked. I couldn’t think of a better present to come home to after the nightmare of the last few days.

  I left my clothes in a pile on the floor and headed toward the lure of the woman standing under the steamy water. The entire bathroom smelled like something citrusy and sweet. Aspen was humming something I didn’t recognize, her dark hair a slick, heavy veil covering her back and sliding over her creamy shoulders. Her typically pale skin was a rosy pink from the heat of the water. She was such a lovely sight. She literally stole my breath away and made me realize how much I had to lose if I couldn’t work up the courage to ask her to—and get her to agree to stay.

  She glanced over her shoulder when I pulled the glass open and slipped into the small space behind her. I inhaled her fragrant scent and reached for her soft skin. Her tiny frame immediately curved into mine, the line of her bare back fitting effortlessly against my chest. I smoothed my palm over her shoulder, brushing her heavy, wet hair to the side so I could kiss along the side of her neck.

  “How you holding up?” She was tough, but today was enough to make anyone break.

  “Right now, I’m kind of numb to it all. It doesn’t feel real. I’m sure it’ll all hit me like a ton of bricks, but right now I just want to forget about everything.” She leaned her head against my shoulder. “Aren’t you tired?” Her voice was husky and went right to my dick.

  I pressed my hardening cock against the soft swell of her ass and hummed in appreciation when she rocked back against me. “Never too tired for you.”

  She muttered in approval and tilted her head to the side, giving me better access to the curve of her jaw. I nuzzled my nose in the hollow beneath her ear and was rewarded with a shiver. I rested my palm on her lower stomach and pulled her back tighter into the cradle of my hips. My erection lodged happily against her backside, throbbing in time to my heartbeat. She placed one of her hands over mine and leaned her head back on my shoulder. I wanted to come home to this—to her—every day. But it occurred to me in a blinding flash of insight, I’d never really asked her what she wanted, or what she expected of me.

  “Aspen.” I tightened my hold on her waist and pressed my forehead against her temple. “I know I told you that you could stay here until you figure out what you’re doing with your house, but I never told you that I want you to stay here. I want you to stay with me, I want you to be here when I come home from a rough day, like today. I want to be there when you come home and need someone to lean on. I want you to take care of Hayes, and let him take care of you. I want him to see me happy. And you’re the only one who makes me feel that way. I just want you, Aspen. More than I can remember wanting anything in my life. Will you please stay?” It was fast, but the reality was we’d spent a lifetime feeling a lot of different ways about one another.

  When she turned her head slightly to look at me, I lifted an eyebrow and smirked at her. “If I’m honest, I’m going to tell you that I love you regardless of your answer. I love you, no matter what you decide to do.”

  Her fingers tightened on mine over her stomach, and her free arm lifted so she could curl it around my neck, stretching out her lithe form along the front of my body. “I want you, Case Lawton. I’ve always dreamed of loving you. I just never thought you would consider loving me back.”

  I sighed and let my hand drag down the soft plain of her tummy. Her skin quivered under my fingertips, and her breath hitched in her throat. “No need to dream. Not when the reality of you and me together is this good. Don’t go, Aspen. Stay with me.”

  I slid my hand between her legs and grinned in satisfaction when her legs immediately shifted to allow me better access. She was so slick and sweet down there. I loved how instantly responsive she always was to my every touch.

  “I’ll stay.” Her voice was barely above a whisper. “But I still have to figure my life out, so if I need to go for a little while, you have to trust that I’ll be back.”

  Trust and love were the two hardest things for me to give to anyone, but if it meant I could keep her, I would hand both of them over. I could be brave enough to trust her to do right by me, especially considering she’d been doing it all along without me knowing it.

  “I guess my job will be making sure you always want to come back. I think I’m up to the challenge.” And if she weren’t convinced today, I would work harder the next day, and the next, until she was certain her place was right in the center of my life, smack dab in the middle of my crazy family.

  She leaned forward, head touching the tiles as my fingers brushed across her clit. Her arms lifted to brace herself as she circled her hips and rubbed enticingly against my erection pressing instantly along the curve of her ass. It was easy to lose myself in the sensations of softness and warmth surrounding me. Being with her felt like it was meant to be—safe and exciting at the same time. She embodied all the things I’d been searching for in my life. She was a place to call home, a port in the storm. But she was also an adventure, a journey into the unknown that was so much bigger than the narrow world I’d allowed myself to live in for so long.

  Considering our ridiculous height difference, there was no way I was getting low enough to slide inside of her from this position. So I contented myself with gliding up and down along the sweet valley between her rounded cheeks while I used my fingers to drive her out of her mind. Her body contracted around mine, and the sounds coming out of her mouth had lust coiling tightly in my gut. It didn’t take much for me to realize how much we could have lost today if things had shifted even slightly to the left of perfect.

  Aspen must have felt the same way, because she suddenly wrenched away and turned to face me. She locked her arms around my neck, tilted her head back for a kiss, and practically jumped into my arms when I grabbed the back of her thighs and lifted her up so I could press her back against the slippery tiles. My tongue unerringly found hers at the same time my cock slipped into her welcoming heat. I bottomed out almost instantly, letting me know how ready she was, how much she wanted me. It was nice to know she always matched me need for need. She made a strangled noise low in her throat as we effortlessly moved together, bodies syncing with perfect rhythm.

  I kept one hand curled lightly around the swell of her backside, and lifted the other to her flushed breast. The raspberry-colored nipple was peeking out from the curtain of long, dark hair clinging to her chest. I used the slippery strands to torment the little point until she was gasping against my mouth. Her eyes were heavy-lidded and unfocused as she slid up the slick wall and dropped back down on my hard length.

  This woma
n was at the center of all my best and worst moments in life. She’d been driving me in one way or another without either of us realizing we were headed to the same destination. It was so much better now that we both knew where we were supposed to end up. Together. With my name on her lips when she came apart in my hands, and hers was tattooed across my heart as it exploded with pleasure and a sense of rightness that couldn’t be matched by anything else in the whole wide world.

  The water was cold by the time we stumbled out of the shower and into my bed. I watched Aspen as she ran a towel over her hair before climbing under the covers with me. She stared back with a fond smile playing around her kiss-swollen lips. “Hayes was very worried about his friend that ran out of the school. I thought I was going to have to sit on him to keep him in the house. He was also worried about you and Becca. He’s very much your son. Concerned with everyone aside from himself. He didn’t want to eat, and he wouldn’t take his eyes off the news. Exhaustion won out, but it was one hell of a fight.”

  I pulled her across the king-size bed until she was completely surrounded by my much larger body. I rested my cheek on the top of her head, her hair cool against the bandage she’d helped me put on my lacerated cheek. “See, we need you. The Lawtons are good at looking out for everyone else, but we aren’t so good at taking care of ourselves.” I heard her murmur an agreement, and let my eyes drift closed, the weight of the day finally pulling me down. “Comes from trying to protect everyone from my dad for so long. We got used to taking the blows while making sure they never landed on anyone else who was innocent.” I yawned so loud and wide my jaw popped. Staying awake was no longer an option. I was surrendering to the darkness whether I wanted to or not.

  Vaguely I sensed Aspen huddle in closer and felt the touch of her lips on the center of my chest where my heart was finally resting easy.

  “As long as I’m able to, I promise I will do whatever I can to help other families who are battling their own Conrad Lawtons. I will make sure the next Case, Crew, and Kody get every opportunity that was taken from you.” I felt the warm air of her sigh against my skin and pulled her closer so I could hold her through the night before the pull of sleep got too strong. I’d have to wait until tomorrow to tell her that she may have had a hand in breaking my heart in the past, but she’d been the one to single-handedly repair it. It was whole now because of her, and I was going to use it for great things. Loving her the way she deserved being at the top of that long list.

  Epilogue

  Aspen

  Hayes’s Graduation Party

  I rested my head on Case’s shoulder and watched as the pretty teenaged girl with the brightly colored hair laughed at whatever Hayes was whispering in her ear. The girl was skittish as a newborn colt. But she lit up like the sun around Case’s handsome son. When Case asked Hayes what he wanted to do to celebrate his graduation, it didn’t come as a surprise when Hayes told us all he wanted was a backyard barbecue with the family and a few friends. This intriguing girl was the first person on his invite list. They’d been inseparable since the shooting.

  “Are you sure they’re ‘just friends’?” I could see a heartbreak waiting to happen from a million miles away. Hayes watched the girl like a hawk when he thought she wasn’t looking, and she stared at him with her heart in her eyes whenever his attention was elsewhere. Since my house was still in a state of constant repair and renovation, I’d had front-row seats to the teenage drama unfolding for months now. It was a hot topic of conversation when I went and had tea with Mrs. Clooney every Sunday when the Lawton boys did their football thing. I loved Case’s elderly neighbor and adored how she’d quickly accepted me into the fold. She was a thousand times nicer than my mother ever had been, and she was a good shoulder to cry on as my mom’s case prepared to move forward to trial. I was going to have to testify against her, and some days I couldn’t believe this was what our fractured relationship had come to.

  Case shrugged, nearly dislodging my head. I glared up at him and got a kiss on the forehead in response. I grabbed the beer out of his hand and took a drink, deciding I wasn’t going to give it back as a passive-aggressive punishment.

  “I don’t think they’re old enough to know what they are. She’s got another year of high school left, and Hayes is moving halfway across the country in four weeks. They’re trying to make sure they don’t hurt one another. I think they’re smart to keep things light.” That was such a guy way of seeing things, and anything that kept him from becoming a grandfather before Hayes was done with college was a win in his book.

  I rolled my eyes and handed him back his drink when he gave me puppy dog eyes. Innocent was not a look Case Lawton could pull off, but I gave him credit for trying.

  “I think they’re going to end up hurting regardless.” Hayes was a Lawton through and through. His heart was too big and too vulnerable, and his natural instinct was to protect and defend. It was such an easy target for someone who was obviously in need of an endless well of love and affection. “She looks at him the way I used to look at you when we were teenagers.”

  “You still look at me that way.” Case bent down and brushed his nose along the rise of my cheek, before placing a gentle kiss on my temple. “If it’s meant to be, they’ll figure it out, just like we did.”

  I got a squeeze before he let me go and moved toward the grill. The man was an okay cook, but he was a genius on the grill. I was building an outdoor kitchen off the back of my house for that reason alone. I figured it would be a key selling point when I tried to convince him to move in with me once all the work was done. I’d subtly been asking for his input on the renovations since they started, but the man was a good investigator, so I think he caught on to my plans when I insisted he help me pick out new hardwood floors. I was pretty sure I’d found “the one” when he didn’t even blink an eye at the outrageously expensive, slightly garish vintage-style wallpaper I picked out for the living room and dining room. Even if Case didn’t totally understand my obsession with bringing new life to old, forgotten things, he appreciated it was important to me. Once everything was done the place would be brand-new. I thought it would be a nice place for both of us to start over. Once we landed somewhere permanently, I knew Case wanted to talk about the future. He was about as subtle as a train wreck when he tried to feel me out about the future. The man once swore he was never getting married again, but he was the one dropping hints left and right that he very well might put a ring on my finger in the future.

  I didn’t need a ring to know we were going to make it. I didn’t need be Hayes’s official stepmom or to have Case’s last name to know we were forever. We were a family no matter what, but if he ever asked, I was going to say yes. I knew it was still hard for him to put himself out there, and there was no one else I would ever promise my forever to besides him.

  Leaving Case stationed behind the grill, I wandered over to where a stunning blond woman was lingering off to the side by herself. Inheriting Della Deveaux along with the rest of the Lawtons had been one of my favorite things to happen in the last few months. The cosmetic company CEO was also a former big-city transplant who’d found her home in Loveless with Crew. She was quiet, but when she spoke it was with a hint a French accent and pure refinement. We got along famously as soon as we met, recognizing a kindred spirit in each other from the get-go. I was ecstatic about the pear-shaped diamond that could be seen from space on her left hand. Crew proposed not long after life settled down after the shooting. Della was going to officially become a Lawton in the near future, which meant I got to keep her.

  “Ahhh…young love. It’s so beautiful.” She sighed as she also watched the teenagers lost in their own world. She cocked her elegant head to the side as Hayes lifted a hand to tenderly move a piece of dyed, highlighter-green yellow hair away from the girl’s face. “He was willing to run into a firefight for her. Those Lawton men are something special.”

  “The Lawton women too.” Kody’s tone was full of gentle admonishment whe
n she popped up out of the blue to hand me a beer and give Della a playful glare. “In fact, I think we’re even better because we somehow manage to survive loving the Lawton men.”

  Della hummed a soft agreement as I tossed my head back and laughed. I did that a lot lately. There was joy and laughter in my life now, so many moments that were so bright and happy they almost felt too big for my heart to hold. Somehow, it kept expanding, kept widening to take it all in. I was embracing all of it—family, friends, and forever with open arms. I’d finally found the place where there was no question I fit in and belonged. And there wasn’t a single day that went by where I was ever lonely.

  Kody tilted the bottle in her hand in the direction where Becca Lawton was standing with her surprisingly age-appropriate date. “I’m still getting used to not hating her guts.”

  The couple was talking quietly with their heads bent together, not mingling much, but every so often Hayes would wander over to his mother and check in. Becca seemed genuinely interested in whatever her son had to say, and she had to turn to wipe away tears more than once. It seemed like the shooting had finally opened her eyes. Case was only cordial, but the rest of the family made it a point to go out of their way to make the woman feel welcome. Everyone was trying really hard to mend fences for Hayes. Becca even apologized for how awful she was in high school, and for putting me in the middle of her and Case’s war. She seemed to have found some genuine regret for her past behavior, so I stayed polite, even if I didn’t trust her as far as I could throw her.

  When Hayes asked if he could invite his mom to the barbecue Case’s knee-jerk reaction was to refuse. He wasn’t as magnanimous as his son, but when I pointed out if he hadn’t forgiven me, and let go of his grudge where I was concerned, we wouldn’t have what we did together, he relented. Forgiveness was hard, but he was working on finding his way there. As long as his ex put forth an effort to be present and accountable in their kid’s life, he was willing to let her be included in family functions. He was in no way ready to forgive her for taking Hayes from him in the past, or for wielding false accusations against him to manipulate me into helping her get her way. No apology or newfound appreciation for all she might have lost was going to get back that stolen time. But Case and the rest of the Lawtons made the effort to include her, which seemed to be enough for all involved, and it made Hayes happy.