Losing It

by Shay Violet

  When he saw what I was holding in my hand and confirmed with me that the lines meant I was carrying his baby, he joined me in crying tears of joy.

  We wiped away our tears and marveled at the little blue stick. Lucas silently dropped to one knee. “Paris, this isn’t exactly the way I planned it, since I don’t even have a ring picked out yet, but I’ve known I wanted to be with you forever since the first time I saw you smile. You’re the most brilliant, beautiful girl in the world. Will you marry me?”

  I eagerly accepted.

  Lucas parked the Airstream in storage and moved in with me. Never has a man been more doting toward his pregnant partner. From day one, he wouldn’t let me lift anything heavier than a glass of milk, even though I insisted it was perfectly safe for me to continue doing my regular stuff all throughout the pregnancy. It was nice not having to do laundry or dishes anymore, though.

  And the pregnancy orgasms? O.M.G.

  School started in August, and classes were going well for Lucas. After an initial adjustment on the part of many of his classmates who were surprised to find a white man in his thirties in class with them, he loved being part of the “FAMUly.” He’d bump into Delbert on campus now and then and they’d have lunch together or spend time at the library as study partners.

  I continued working, and as much as I’d tried to keep the fact that I was dating, and pregnant by, a student, on the down low, eventually I had to confess it to Miss Claudia. She was shocked at first, but she helped me keep my secret.

  Lucas and I planned to get married just before my maternity leave would have kicked in anyway, so I gave notice at school that I’d be leaving as of the first of February. I wanted all my co-workers and FAMU friends at my wedding.

  Speaking of friends, one day Sweet called out of the blue, and as were catching up, the subject of our New Year’s resolutions came up.

  She was still working for Ezra Brannigan, but she insisted that her time there was almost over. I started to tell her about Lucas, and my pregnancy, but I caught myself.

  I wanted to walk into Sadie’s with Lucas. And with my big old tummy full of a baby. Ha!

  I mentioned that I’d met a guy, but it was nothing serious.

  “You get the D yet, girl?” Sweet asked.

  “Stop it! You know I don’t ‘get the D’. We’ve gone out a few times. He’s really cool. We’ll see.”

  Of course, by then I was closing in on being two months pregnant.

  The conversation with Sweet inspired me to tell Lucas about my friends, our resolutions, and the planned December reunion.

  “You had sex with me just to win $800?” he asked with a grin.

  “Yeah, clearly just for the cash. I suffered through it. The things a girl has to do for money!”

  “I think you ought to ‘suffer’ some more,” he said, and he got up from his chair and walked over to where I lay on the couch. I was dressed in just a long t-shirt since it was evening and we were winding down.

  He knelt by the sectional and tenderly kissed my feet, massaging them and sucking my toes one by one, making me shiver.

  Lucas took his time enjoying my legs, working his way slowly up each one with kisses and feather-light touches. By the time he reached mid-thigh, my legs were spread wide, inviting him in.

  “Make me suffer some more,” I said, and he complied, masterfully using his mouth to make me come again and again until he carried me up the stairs and tucked my satisfied ass into bed.

  12

  Mid-December arrived, and it was time to make the bi-annual pilgrimage to Charleston. To Sadie’s BBQ.

  I told nobody that I was bringing a guest with me, as it would break protocol and I didn’t want anybody to feel weird about it, but once they saw the state I was in, they’d understand.

  I was into the second trimester, in full bloom. Lucas claimed I glowed, that he’d never seen anyone so beautiful. I didn’t agree, but I appreciated his compliments.

  We drove the truck up from Tallahassee, making many bathroom stops for me. Surprisingly, he’d never been to Charleston, so we arrived a couple days early to take in the sights like the architecture of Rainbow Row downtown, the magnificent Angel Oak out on Johns Island, and the beaches. We did some shopping on King Street, updating my maternity wardrobe and buying some things for the baby, although we’d agreed not to find out the gender, so we were a bit limited.

  We stopped by campus and picked up a PWC onesie, and he tried to talk me into stopping by the admissions office so he could plead his case, but I refused.

  The big day arrived, and we drove from our hotel downtown over to Sadie’s for lunch with my girls. I’d been texting them, and we were all present and accounted for.

  We pulled into the parking lot, the gravel crunching under the weight of Lucas’s big truck and bigger fiancée.

  Lucas parked a space over from a bright red Ferrari, the likes of which I’d never seen anywhere near Sadie’s, which isn’t exactly located in the best part of town.

  Its location is part of its charm, on the border between downtown Charleston’s genteel upper crust and a crumbling part of town that’s altogether darker than the touristy parts of the Holy City.

  The clientele winds up being a mix of old money willing to live “dangerously” for delicious food and families struggling to make ends meet who, for a fraction of the cost, know they can eat as well as anybody in South Carolina.

  But a red Ferrari? That may have been a first. I’d have to ask Miss Sadie about it.

  We walked in, well, Lucas walked, I waddled, but we got in the door, and the first face I saw was my adopted grandmother, Miss Sadie herself.

  “Miss Paris!” she nearly shouted, hopping up out of her chair. “Sweet Jesus!”

  She rushed over to me holding her face, with tears streaming down her face.

  “I’m gonna have another great-grandbaby!”

  I laughed out loud, and a confused Lucas stood there smiling.

  “Miss Sadie is every PWC Lady Leopard’s grandma,” I explained.

  “Only the ones who come to see me!” she corrected.

  Suddenly, a familiar face stuck its pretty head around the corner and screamed.

  “Paris, oh my God!” K.K. squealed. She rushed over and threw her arms around me.

  Behind her, a guy with wild blonde hair stood, smiling. He walked over and extended a hand to Lucas. “Hello, I’m Graham.”

  His British accent caught me off-guard, and I turned my head to look as Lucas shook his hand and introduced himself.

  K.K. and I spoke as one. “Sorry, this is-” and then we started laughing again.

  “This is Graham,” Lucas said, holding out his open hand toward K.K.’s beau.

  “And this bloke is Lucas,” Graham said, introducing my man to K.K.

  We had barely completed introductions when the door opened behind us and the happy shrieking and screaming began anew.

  “Sweet!” K.K. called out.

  “Ezra?” Graham said, with a look of bemusement on his face.

  “What, is this the new Flanagans of Charleston?” A deep voice behind me asked, and I watched Graham reach past me to shake hands with a handsome older man next to Sweet.

  “Not a chance. I can’t cook like she can,” Graham said, his thumb pointing at Miss Sadie.

  I turned all the way around to find Sweet standing there with a serious look on her face.

  “Do you have some news you’d like to share?” she asked in an accusatory tone. Her eyes flitted from my face to my belly to Lucas and back to my face.

  I shrugged and grinned. She broke into a smile and gave me a big bearhug. K.K. joined in.

  “Not too hard!” I protested.

  When she let go, she turned to Lucas. “I’m Sweet T,” she said, extending her hand.

  “Enchanté, mademoiselle,” he said, kissing her hand. “Je m’apelle, Lucas.”

  K.K. jumped in.

  “Hey, where’s my Pepé Le Pew kiss?” she asked.

&
nbsp; Lucas kissed K.K.’s hand and gave her the same French greeting.

  Sweet began speaking in rapid-fire French, but Lucas held up his hands in defeat. “That’s all I know! I swear! Paris told me you had some sort of superpower with languages. I don’t, but I thought I’d give it a try.”

  “Bien essayé,” Sweet said with a smile. When we all gave her a blank look, she rolled her eyes.

  “Y’all need some culture,” she said with her D.C. sass. “It means ‘nice try’!”

  Miss Sadie ushered us into the private dining room, where she’d had staff push another table together with the one that had been set for us.

  We got to know each other, at least those who weren’t already acquainted.

  It turned out that K.K.’s man, Graham, owned a restaurant in London, and that Ezra, who couldn’t stop undressing Sweet with his eyes, had a house nearby and ate there frequently.

  In fact, Sweet had eaten there with Ezra a few times, and when he mentioned that fact, Graham’s face lit up.

  “Right,” he said. “You were with Ezra that night with the ugly Russian. You’ll both be happy to know that I’ve banned him from the restaurant.

  “You won’t believe this, but last month he tried to get a table at our new location in Las Vegas. The one Kiondre helped me open.” He put his arm around K.K. and kissed her.

  It was odd to me to hear the names Tyesha and Kiondre, but if that’s what their men wanted to call them, who was I to argue?

  Miss Sadie had cornbread and fried pickles sent over to our table, and a round of drinks appeared.

  “Miss Sadie,” Graham asked. “I know it isn’t a traditional appetizer, but I’d pay double for butter beans for the whole table.”

  Graham turned to Lucas and Ezra. “I promise, you’ve never had anything like Miss Sadie’s butterbeans. They’ll change your life.”

  “Can’t wait,” Ezra replied.

  “I don’t know how much more ‘life changing’ I can handle,” Lucas joked, placing a hand on my pregnant belly.

  Ezra shook his head. “You have no idea,” he said.

  “Ezra has a son who has presented some… interesting challenges,” Sweet said, turning to make eye contact with Ezra.

  “Okay, so he vandalized the Sphinx and got himself banned from Egypt,” Ezra explained. “For life. When he was eleven.”

  “Yikes!” K.K. exclaimed.

  “He’s growing up,” Sweet added. “But he has definitely sown his share of wild oats.”

  “Lucas, what do you do?” Graham asked.

  “I’m…”

  As amazing as Lucas is, I feared this moment for him. I knew Ezra was Sweet’s boss, and a big shot oil tycoon. Graham owned restaurants in two countries. For all I knew, Lucas was worth more than both of them combined. But there wasn’t a graceful, easy way to answer the question.

  Lucas looked at me during the pregnant pause, and I smiled to encourage him.

  “I’m just the luckiest guy in the world, that’s all,” he said, and I swooned. He kissed me and gave me a squeeze.

  Lucas was just about to say more when the next Lady Leopard arrived.

  Savannah.

  And she wasn’t alone.

  When all the “Oh my Gods” and shrieking ended, we all turned to face the new man in the room, holding Savannah’s hand, and looking like a runway model.

  “Everybody, this is Lincoln,” Savannah said. “Lincoln, this is everybody.”

  “Aren’t you Rex’s boy?” Ezra asked.

  “Um, yes?” Lincoln said, searching Ezra with his eyes.

  “Ezra Brannigan. Brannigan Oil and Petroleum,” he explained. “I’ve done some deals with your father over the years. Haven’t seen him in years, but you’re a chip off the old block. Strong genes in that Rawlings family.”

  “I’ll tell him you said hello,” Lincoln said with a warm smile.

  Savannah explained that she had been hired as the nanny for Lincoln’s twin girls. Lincoln corrected her that the twins were his sister’s, but Savannah stuck to her guns.

  “Those girls are ours now. I wish we could have brought them, but we drove here, and the car is brand-new and not baby-friendly.”

  “Pfft,” Lincoln said after a bite of cornbread. “Milan and Sofia will have that thing full of stuffed animals and diapers and sippy cups before you know it.”

  Savannah gave her man the playful evil eye. “Excuse me?”

  She then turned to us. “Okay, I’m about to jump out of my skin here. Y’all have to come outside and see my car.”

  As we prepared to go outside, Miss Sadie arrived next to a server carrying a tray filled with a large pot of butter beans and a stack of bowls.

  “Ahh,” Graham said, inhaling deeply. “Heaven has arrived.”

  “Why thank you, Mister Graham,” Miss Sadie replied. “I brought some butter beans with me, too.”

  We all laughed and the four of us proceeded outside to see Savannah’s car while the men stayed behind to eat.

  Outside the restaurant, all in a line were the red Ferrari from earlier, a silver Bentley, Lucas’s truck, and a dark blue Range Rover.

  “We came in one that one,” Sweet said, indicating the Range Rover. “It’s a rental. We flew in just this morning.”

  “This,” Savannah said, practically laying across the hood of the Bentley, “was my Christmas present from Lincoln.”

  It was a beautiful car.

  K.K. explained that she and Graham had driven in from Las Vegas in his Ferrari, and she confessed to getting it up over 140 MPH on a lonely road outside Amarillo, Texas.

  I could wait no longer.

  “We drove up from Tallahassee in Lucas’s truck,” I said, pointing out his vehicle, which would be the most expensive in almost any other parking lot in town. “I have to tell you all something. This is crazy, but Lucas bought a lot of Bitcoin when it first came out. You know Bitcoin, right?”

  They all nodded.

  “He flipped it, most of it, when it went over 10k. He’d never mention it, he’s too modest and everything, but he’s loaded. And I mean loaded.”

  “What kind of year have we all had?” K.K. asked. “I mean, is this crazy? Out of the blue, all four of us arrive hooked up, and not with any raggedy men, either.”

  “It’s like a damn blizzard in there,” Sweet said, and we all laughed.

  “We ought to get back in there before Miss Sadie steals our men,” I remarked, and we headed back in.

  “I feel bad for Ameerah,” K.K. said. “That’s going to be a weird room to walk into all alone. Like a third wheel to the fourth power. We have to make sure to make her feel welcome, okay?”

  All my girls agreed. I knew they wouldn’t let me down.

  We walked back in and sat down, and Miss Sadie approached our table. “Is Miss Ameerah joining y’all?”

  “She’s supposed to,” Sweet said. “But we can probably order, yeah?”

  Graham spoke up. “Miss Sadie, just cover this table with food and keep it coming. Bring me the bill at the end. I trust you.”

  As one, Lucas, Ezra, and Lincoln each reached for their wallets. They weren’t used to having anything paid for by anyone else.

  We heard the front door open and voices out in the entryway.

  Ameerah, stunning as always, turned the corner, clinging to a man.

  A man with a ballcap slung low.

  A man with one arm.

  The conversation stopped and as one four Leopard sisters rose and rushed to greet our friend.

  13

  Ameerah hugged each of us, but she never let go of her man’s arm. When I got up close to him, I could see that he had extensive scarring on one side of his face down onto his neck. The hat he wore had a Navy insignia on it.

  He was ruggedly handsome despite whatever he’d been through.

  “This is Talon,” she said, and we each greeted him with hugs. “He’s a SEAL. He was wounded in action. He hates when I brag about him, but he’s the bravest man I’ve ever
met.” Talon grunted, and waved her off. She responded by kissing him on the cheek.

  Our men rose and formed a line to meet him.

  One by one, they introduced themselves and thanked him for his service. Graham asked him if he’d ever had occasion to fight alongside any Royal Air Force soldiers, and Talon indicated that he had, and that they were fine warriors.

  When more chairs were arranged and we sat down, Ameerah held up her hand. “I thought I was going to have the biggest news to share,” she said, flashing an engagement ring. “But it looks like Paris has me beat.”

  “I don’t know, I haven’t got one of those yet,” I joked, pointing at Ameerah’s finger and looking at Lucas expectantly. He’d proposed, and we’d even made wedding plans, but somehow lost between school and work and pregnancy had been picking out my engagement ring.

  Lucas rolled his eyes and straightened up in his chair, looking around at the group.

  “Okay,” he said, throwing up his hands. “I was waiting for the perfect moment, but maybe this is it.”

  He got up and squeezed into a kneeling position between his chair and Lincoln’s.

  From his pocket he produced a small box, which he opened to reveal the blinding glare of an enormous diamond.

  “Paris, you’ve already made me the luckiest man in the world just by sharing these last few months with me. I want to share the rest of my life with you and him.” He touched my tummy.

  “Her,” I corrected, and he scrunched up his face into a smile.

  “Either way,” he said.

  “Hmmm….” I said, my head cocked and my index finger touching my lips.

  “She says yes!” Savannah shouted, and the rest of my girls joined in. I reached out my arms and hugged Lucas before kissing him, a sweet kiss that turned passionate until somebody threw a fried pickle at us.

  “You can’t get pregnant again while you’re already pregnant,” K.K. said. “Have to wait until that one’s out of the oven first!”

  Everyone applauded my “official” engagement, and Miss Sadie’s staff appeared with more barbecue than I’d ever seen before.