De Turkey and De Law

by Zora Neale Hurston

over his shoulder. The sun is dropping low and red thru the forest. He

  is looking back angrily and shouting back at the mob. A small missile

  is thrown after him. Jim drops his coat and guitar and grabs up a

  piece of brick and threatens to throw it.

  JIM

  (Running back the way he came and hurls the brick with all his might.)

  I'll kill some of youole box-ankled niggers--(grabs up another piece

  of brick) I'm out yo' ole town--now jus' some of you ole half-pint

  Baptists let yo' wooden God and Cornstalk Jesus fool you to hit me!

  (Threatens to throw. There are some frightened screams and the mob is

  heard running back.) I'm glad I'm out yo' ole town, anyhow. I ain't

  never comin' back no more, neither. You ole ugly-rump niggers done

  ruint de town anyhow.

  (There is complete silence off stage. Jim walks a few steps then sits

  down on the railroad embankment facing the audience. Jim pulls off one

  shoe and pours the sand out. He holds the shoe in his hand a moment

  and looks wistfully back down the railroad track.)

  JIM

  Lawd, folks sho is deceitful. (He puts on the shoe and looks back down

  the track again.) I never woulda thought people woulda acted lak dat.

  (Laces up the shoe) Specially Dave Carter, much as me an' him done

  proaged round together goin' in swimmin' and playin' ball an'

  serenadin' de girls an' de white folks.

  (He sits there gloomily silent for a while, then looks behind him and

  picks up his guitar and begins to pick a tune. It is very sad. He

  trails off into "You may leave an' go to Halimuhfack." When he

  finishes he looks back at the sun and picks up his coat also.)

  I never woulda thought people woulda acted lak dat. (laces up the

  shoe) Specially Dave Carter, much as me an' him done proaged round

  together, goin' in swimmin' and playin' ball an' serenadin' de girls

  an' de white folks. (He sits there gloomily silent for a while then

  looks behind him and picks up his guitar and beings to pick a tune. It

  is very sad. He trails off into "You may leave and go to Halimuhfack."

  When he finishes he looks back at the sun and picks up his coat also.)

  (He looks back again towards the village.) Reckon I better git on down

  de road an' git somewhere, Lawd knows where. (stops suddenly in his

  tracks and turns back towards the village and takes a step or two.)

  All dat mess and stink for nothin'. Dave knows good an' well I didn't

  mean to hurt him much. (He takes off his cap and scratches his head

  thoroughly, then turns again and starts on down the road towards left.

  Enter Daisy left walking briskly.)

  DAISY

  Hello, Jim.

  JIM

  Hello, Daisy.

  (Embarrassed silence)

  DAISY

  I was just coming over town to see how you come out.

  JIM

  You don't have to go way over there to find dat out--you and Dave done

  got me run outa town for nothin'.

  DAISY

  (Putting her hand on his arm) Dey didn't run you outa town, did dey?

  JIM

  (Shaking her hand off) Whut you reckon I'm countin' Mr. Railroad's

  ties for--just to find out how many ties between here and Orlando?

  DAISY

  (Hand on his arm again) Dey _cain't_ run you off like dat!

  JIM

  Take yo' hands off me, Daisy! How come they can't run me off wid you

  and Dave an'--_everybody_ gainst me?

  DAISY

  I ain't opened my moff 'gainst you, Jim. I ain't said one word--I

  wasn't even at de old trial. My madame wouldn't let me git off. I wuz

  just comin' to see 'bout you now.

  JIM

  Aw, go 'head on. You figgered I was gone too long to talk about. You

  was haulin' it over to town to see Dave--dat's whut was doin'--after

  gittin _me_ all messed up.

  DAISY

  (Making as if to cry) I wasn't studying 'bout no Dave.

  JIM

  (Hopefully) Aw, don't tell me. (Sings) Ashes to ashes, dust to dust,

  show me a woman that a man can trust.

  (Daisy is crying now.)

  JIM

  Whut you crying for? You know you love Dave. I'm yo' monkey-man. He

  always could do more wid you that I could.

  DAISY

  Naw, you ain't no monkey-man neither. I don't want you to leave town.

  I didn't want y'all to be fightin' over me, nohow.

  JIM

  Aw, rock on down de road wid dat stuff. A two-timing cloaker like you

  don't keer whut come off. Me and Dave been good friends ever since we

  was born till you had to go flouncing yourself around.

  DAISY

  What did I do? All I did was to come over town to see you and git a

  mouf-ful of gum. Next thing I now y'all is fighting and carrying on.

  JIM

  (stands silent for a while) Did you come over there Sat'day to see me

  sho nuff, sugar babe?

  DAISY

  Everybody could see dat but you.

  JIM

  Just like I told you, Daisy. I'll say it before yo' face and behind

  yo' back. I could kiss you every day--just as regular as pig-bracks.

  DAISY

  And I tole you I could stand it too--justa s regular as you could.

  JIM

  (Catching her by the arm and pulling her down with him onto the rail)

  Set, down here, Daisy. Less talk some chat. You want me sho

  nuff--honest to God?

  DAISY

  (coyly) 'Member whut I told you out on de lake last summer?

  JIM

  Sho nuff, Daisy?

  (Daisy nods smilingly.)

  JIM

  (Sadly) But I got to go 'way. Whut we gointer to 'bout dat?

  DAISY

  Where you goin', Jim?

  JIM

  (Looking sadly down the track) God knows.

  (Off stage from the same direction from which Jim entered comes the

  sound of whistling and tramping of feet on the ties.)

  JIM

  (Brightening) Dat's Dave! (Frowning suspiciously) Wonder whut he doin'

  walking dis track? (Looks accusingly at Daisy) I bet he's goin' to yo'

  work-place.

  DAISY

  Whut for?

  JIM

  He ain't goin' to see de madame--must be goin' to see you. (He starts

  to rise petulantly as Dave comes upon the scene. Daisy rises also.)

  DAVE

  (Looks accusingly from one to the other) Whut y'all jumpin' up

  for? I....

  JIM

  Whut you got to do wid us business? Tain't none of yo' business if we

  stand up, set down or fly like a skeeter hawk.

  DAVE

  Who said I keered? Dis railroad belongs to de _man_--I kin walk it

  good as you, can't I?

  JIM

  (Laughing exultantly) Oh yeah, Mr. Do-Dirty! You figgered you had done

  run me on off so you could git Daisy all by yo'self. You was headin'

  right for her work-place.

  DAVE

  I wasn't no such a thing.

  JIM

  You was. Didn't I lear you coming down de track all whistling and

  everything?

  DAVE

  Youse a big old Georgy-something-ain't-so! I done got my belly full of

  Daisy Sat'day night. She can't snore in my ear no more.

  DAISY

  (Indignantly) Whut you come here low-rating me for, Dave
Carter? I

  ain't done nothin' to you but treat you white. Who come rubbed yo' ole

  head for you yestiddy if it wasn't me?

  DAVE

  Yeah, you rubbed my head all right, and I lakted dat. But everybody

  say you done toted a pan to Joe Clark's barn for Jim before I seen

  you.

  DAISY

  Think I was going to let Jim there thout nothing fitten for a dog to

  eat?

  DAVE

  That's all right, Daisy. If you want to pay Jim for r knockin' me in

  de head, all right. But I'm a man in a class--in a class to myself and

  nobody knows my name.

  JIM

  (Snatching Daisy around to face him) Was you over to Dave's house

  yestiddy rubbing his ole head and cloaking wid him to run me outa

  town--and me locked up in dat barn wid de cows and mules?

  DAISY

  (Sobbing) All both of y'all hollerin' at me an' fussin' me just

  cause I tries to be nice--and neither one of y'all don't keer

  nothin' bout me.

  (Both boys glare at each other over Daisy's head and both try to hug

  her at the same time. She violently wrenches herself away from both

  and makes as if to move on.)

  Leave me go! Take yo' rusty pams offen me. I'm going on back to my

  work-place. I just got off to see bout y'all and look how y'all

  treat me.

  JIM

  Wait a minute, Daisy. I love you like God loves Gabriel--and dat's His

  best angel.

  DAVE

  Daisy, I love you harder than detthunder can bump a stump--if I

  don't--God's a gopher.

  DAISY

  (Brightening) Dat's de first time you ever said so.

  DAVE and JIM

  Who?

  JIM

  Whut you hollering "who" for? Yo' foot don't fit no limb.

  DAVE

  Speak when you spoken to--come when you called, next fall you'll be my

  coon houn' dog.

  JIM

  Table dat discussion. (Turning to Daisy) You ain't never give me no

  chance to talk wid you right.

  DAVE

  You made _me_ feel like you was trying to put de Ned book on me all de

  time. Do you love me sho nuff, Daisy?

  DAISY

  (Blooming again into coquetry) Aw, y'all better stop dat. You know you

  don't mean it.

  DAVE

  Who don't mean it? Lemme tell you something, mama, if you was mine I

  wouldn't have you counting no ties wid yo' pretty lil toes. Know whut

  I'd do?

  DAISY

  (Coyly) Naw, whut would you do?

  DAVE

  I'd buy a whole passenger train and hire some mens to run it for you.

  DAISY

  (Happily) Oo-ooh, Dave.

  JIM

  (to Dave)

  De wind may blow, de door may slam

  Dat whut you shootin' ain't worth a dam.

  (to Daisy) I'd buy you a great big ole ship--and then baby, I'd buy

  you a ocean to[Note: corrected missing space] sail yo' ship on.

  DAISY

  (Happily) Oo-ooh, Jim.

  DAVE

  (to Jim)

  A long train, a short caboose

  Dat lie whut you shootin', ain't no use.

  (to Daisy) Miss Daisy, know what I'd do for you?

  DAISY

  Naw, whut?

  DAVE

  I'd like uh job cleanin out de Atlantic Ocean jus for you.

  DAISY

  Don't fool me now, papa.

  DAVE

  I couldn't fool _you_, Daisy, cause anything I say bout lovin' you, I

  don't keer how big it is, it wouldn't be half de truth. Y

  DAVE

  I'd come down de river riding a mud cat and leading a minnow.

  DAISY

  Lawd, Dave, you sho is propaganda.

  JIM

  (Peevishly) Naw he ain't--he's just lying--he's a noble liar. Know

  whut I'd do if you was mine?

  DAISY

  Naw, Jim.

  JIM

  I'd make a panther wash yo' dishes and a 'gator chop yo' wood for you.

  DAVE

  Daisy, how come you [Note: corrected missing space] let Jim lie lak

  dat? He's as big a liar as he is a [Note: corrected missing space]

  man. But sho nuff now, laying all sides to jokes, Jim, there don't

  even know how to answer you. If you don't b'lieve it, ast him

  something.

  DAISY

  (to Jim) You like me much, Jim?

  JIM

  (Enthusiastically) Yeah, Daisy, I sho do.

  DAVE

  (Triumphant) See dat! I tole you he didn't know how to answer nobocy

  like you. If he was talking to some of them ol' funny looking gals

  over town he'd be answering 'em just right. But he got to learn how to

  answer _you_. Now you ast _me_ something and see how I answer you.

  DAISY

  Do you like me, Dave?

  DAVE

  (Very properly in a falsetto voice) Yes ma'am! Dat's de way to answer

  swell folks like you. Furthermore, less we prove which one [Note:

  corrected missing space] of us love you de best right now. (To Jim)

  Jim, how much time owuld you do on de chain-gang for dis 'oman?

  JIM

  Twenty years and like it.

  DAVE

  See dat, Daisy? Dat nigger ain't willing to do no time for you. I'd

  _beg_ de judge to gimme life. (Both Jim and Dave laugh)

  DAISY

  Y'all doin' all dis bookooing out here on de railroad track but I bet

  y'all crazy 'bout Bootsie and Teets and a whole heap of others.

  JIM

  Cross my feet and hope to die! I'd ruther see all de other wimmenfolks

  in de world dead than for[Note: corrected missing space] you to have de

  tooth-ache.

  DAVE

  If I was dead any any other woman come near my coffin de undertaker

  would have to do his job all over--cause I'd git right up and walk

  off. Furthermore, Miss Daisy, ma'am, also m'am, which would _you_

  ruther be a lark a flying or a dove a settin'--ma'am also ma'am?

  DAISY

  'Course I'd ruther be a dove.

  JIM

  Miss Daisy, ma'am, also ma'am--if you marry dis nigger over my head,

  I'm going to git me a green hickory club and season it over yo' head.

  DAVE

  Don't you be skeered, baby--papa kin take keer a _you_. (to Jim)

  Counting from de finger (suiting the action to the word) back to the

  thumb--start anything I got you some.

  JIM

  Aw, I don't want no more fight wid you, Dave.

  DAVE

  Who said anything about fighting? We just provin' who love Daisy de

  best. (to Daisy) Now, which one of us you think love you de best?

  DAISY

  Deed I don't know, Dave.

  DAVE

  Baby, I'd walk de water for you--and tote a mountain on my head while

  I'm walkin'.

  JIM

  Know whut I'd do, honey babe? If you was a thousand miles from home

  and you didn't have no ready-made money and you had to walk all de

  way, walkin' till yo' feet start to rolling, just like a wheel, and I

  was riding way up in de sky, I'd step backwards offa dat airyplane

  just to walk home wid you.

  DAISY

  (Falling on Jim's neck) Jim, when you talk to me like dat I just can't

  stand it. Less us git married right now.

  JIM

  Now you talkin' like a blue-ba
ck speller. Less go!

  DAVE

  (Sadly) You gointer leave me lak dis, Daisy?

  DAISY

  (Sadly) I likes you, too, Dave, I sho do. But I can't marry both of

  y'all at de same time.

  JIM

  Aw, come on, Daisy--sun's gettin' low. (He starts off pulling Daisy.)

  DAVE

  Whut's I'm gointer do? (Walking after them)

  JIM

  Gwan back and hunt turkeys--you make out you so touchous nobody can't

  tell you yo' eye is black thout you got to run git de law.

  DAVE

  (Almost tearfully) Aw Jim, shucks! Where y'all going?

  (Daisy comes to an abrupt halt and stops Jim)

  DAISY

  That's right, Honey. Where _is_ we goin' sho nuff?

  JIM (Sadly)

  Deed I don't know, baby. They just sentenced [Note: corrected missing

  space] me to go--they didn't say where and I don't know.

  DAISY

  How we goin' know how to go when [Note: corrected missing space] we

  don't know where we goin'?

  (Jim looks at Dave as if he expects some help but Dave stands sadly

  silent. Jim takes a few steps forward as if to go on. Daisy makes a

  step or two, unwillingly, then looks behind her and stops. Dave looks

  as if he will follow them.)

  DAISY

  Jim! (He stops and turns) Wait a minute! Whut we gointer do when we

  git there?

  JIM

  Where?

  DAISY

  Where we goin'?

  JIM

  I done tole you I don't know where it is.

  DAISY

  But how we gointer git something to eat and a place to stay?

  JIM

  Play my box for de white folks and dance just like I been doing.

  DAISY

  You can't take keer of me on dat, not where we hafta pay rent.

  JIM

  (Looks appealingly at Dave, then away quickly) Well, I can't help

  _dat_, can I?

  DAISY

  (Brightly) I tell you whut, Jim! Less us don't go nowhere. They

  sentenced you to leave Eatonville and youse almost a mile from de city

  limits already. Youse in Maitland now. Supposin' you come live on de

  white folks' place wid me after we git married. Eatonville ain't got

  nothin' to do wid you livin' in Maitland.

  JIM

  Dat's a good idea, Daisy.

  DAISY

  (Jumping into his arms) And lissen, honey, you don't have to be

  beholden to nobody. You can throw dat ole box away if you want to. I

  know where you can get a _swell_ job.

  JIM

  (Sheepishly) Doin' whut? (Looks lovingly at his guitar)

  DAISY

  (Almost dancing) Yard man. All you have to do is wash windows, and

  sweep de sidewalk, and scrub off de steps and porch and hoe up de

  weeds and rake up de leaves and dig a few holes now and then with a

  spade--to plant some trees and things like that. It's a good steady

  job.

  JIM

  (After a long deliberation) You see, Daisy, de mayor and corporation

  told me to go on off and I oughter go.

  DAISY

  Well, I'm not going tippin' down no railroad track like a Maltese cat.

  I wasn't brought up knockin' round from here to yonder.

  JIM

  Well, I wasn't brought up wid no spade in my hand--and ain't going to

  start it now.

  DAISY

  But sweetheart, we got to live, ain't we? We got to git hold of money

  before we kin do anything. I don't mean to stay in de white folks'

  kitchen all my days.

  JIM

  Yeah, all dat's true, but you couldn't buy a flea a waltzing jacket

  wid de money _I'm_ going to make wid a hoe and spade.

  DAISY

  (Getting tearful) You don't want me. You don't love me.

  JIM

  Yes, I do, darling, I love you. Youse de one letting a spade come

  between us. (He caresses her.) I loves you and you only. You don't see

  _me_ dragging a whole gang of farming tools into us business, do you?

  DAISY

  (stiffly) Well, I ain't going to marry no man that ain't going to work

  and take care of me.

  JIM

  I don't mind working if de job ain't too heavy for me. I ain't going

  to bother wid nothin' in my hands heavier than dis box--and I totes it

  round my neck 'most of de time. I kin go out and hunt you some game

  when times gits tight.

  DAISY

  Don't strain yo'self huntin' nothin' for me. I ain't goin' to eat

  nobody's settin' hen. (She turns to DAVE finally.)

  JIM

  Whut ole sittin hen? Ain't you and Lum done et up de turkey

  I--I--bought?