Defend Me: A Frazier Falls Novel

by Collins, Kelly

  “You know she sent me a photo of that Paxton guy shirtless?” He pulled out his phone to search for it until I shoved it down and told him to put it away.

  Carla laughed in disbelief. “No way.”

  “Yes, way. He was all hot and bothered and—”

  “He was mowing the lawn,” I interrupted. “And though I admittedly sent it to make you jealous, that doesn’t mean I want to marry the guy.”

  “But then we’d be sisters-in-law,” Carla sighed happily. “Wouldn’t that be great? You could move back to Frazier Falls, and people wouldn’t be able to accuse me of being friendless anymore.”

  “As if I’d move back here. I love New York. Besides, how’d you end up friendless here? You were one of the boys.”

  Carla made a face. “Most of the guys who are still here got married, and their wives didn’t like them hanging out with me.”

  Though I’d been Carla’s only close female friend, she’d still been pretty friendly with girls who were deemed unpopular by the in-crowd. I felt a twinge of guilt that I had abandoned my friendship with her—even if only for a few months—for such shallow people.

  “Damn.” Nick whistled. “Now there’s a guy I could get into—” He stared toward the middle Cooper brother who had just arrived with Rich.

  “Nick,” I warned. “Eli belongs to Emily.” I turned him to face Rich. “That one may be up your alley. No one knows.”

  He lifted his eyes and smiled. “Well, now, I can’t deny we’d make the most beautiful pair.”

  The group laughed raucously as they stared at Carla’s brother, Rich. I wondered how he would react if he heard the conversation. Would he be offended or encouraged? The jury was still out on Rich’s sexuality, but I knew Nick was as good as Sherlock and would pursue every lead until he got to the bottom of the mystery.

  “Speaking of Eli, didn’t he punch someone because of you, Carl?” Lauren, the girl from high school, asked.

  Carla shook her head. “You have it the wrong way around. Bobby Flynn punched Eli. I heard about it a few months ago—apparently, Pax told Bobby I’d never liked him and thought he was disgusting or something. Bobby got mad and threatened Pax, but Eli stepped in and took the hit.”

  “Not his smartest moment. Does that man know when to quit?” Lauren asked.

  “I’m pretty sure he does. Only now he tosses words and not punches,” Carla answered.

  Lauren continued, “But Eli did punch someone, didn’t he? Who was it?”

  Carla chuckled. “Brady Huck.”

  I stiffened immediately. I couldn’t believe I’d forgotten about that.

  “Eli got suspended for three days,” I added on quietly.

  Everyone looked at me, surprised.

  “Yeah, he did,” Carla said thoughtfully. “Brady probably had it coming.”

  “Yeah, Eli was hardly going to put up with the guy who bullied his little brother, was he?”

  “I still can’t believe that happened. When you look at Paxton now … God. Can’t imagine anyone being capable of bullying him. He’s so dreamy,” Lauren said.

  My face warmed uncomfortably. I wasn’t so ignorant that I didn’t know I was jealous.

  Nick laughed when he saw me.

  “You’re so transparent, Rosie,” he whispered for only me to hear. “You’re the one he’s sleeping with, right? Who cares what these women say?”

  “It won’t stop them fawning over him at the wedding.” I hated the idea of Paxton being bombarded by women at the ceremony, leaving me with no time alone with him. I hated it even more because I knew it was an inevitability.

  Lauren and Melanie glanced at each other, then me.

  “What?”

  “Brady confessed his love for you when you were a sophomore.”

  “Love is pushing it, but he did like me,” I replied uncomfortably. It wasn’t something I ever dwelled on. I had almost forgotten it.

  Carla looked at the other girls in surprise. “He did?”

  “He was obsessed with her,” Lauren said. “I shared a few classes with the two of you, and he was always looking at you like you were his next meal. It was creepy.”

  “I’m pretty sure he stalked you at one point,” Melanie added.

  My face grew pale. “I didn’t know that.” Brady was strange, but to stalk me was something entirely different.

  Carla grew concerned. “Let’s not talk about stalking, that is scary. I won’t be going back to Huck’s bar, even if his dad’s a sweetheart.”

  But the women continued their story. “When he confessed his undying love to you, didn’t you say you had your heart set on Paxton?”

  “I—what?”

  Lauren nodded as Melanie said, “Yeah, your locker was by mine, so I heard the whole thing. You told Brady you were in love with Paxton. I always thought it was strange because you didn’t even talk to the poor guy.”

  Oh, holy hell. “Obviously, I didn’t mean it,” I mumbled, embarrassed, “I wanted Brady to leave me alone.”

  “Why didn’t you just say no, that you didn’t like him? Why lie?”

  “Because … he wasn’t taking no for an answer.” The memory suddenly came back to me. Him pinning me against the locker and telling me I was his. I told him I could never be because my heart belonged to Paxton.

  The two women looked at me with frowns on their faces. “You’re to blame for all his torment. Saying what you did put a huge target on his back.”

  My hands fisted, and I was certain the pressure would shatter the glass. Who were these women to judge me? They didn’t know me. I struggled to keep my voice level. “Why would you say that?”

  Lauren looked at me in disbelief. “Because it’s the truth. You were so self-involved you didn’t consider the consequences of throwing Paxton under the bus.”

  Carla stepped forward as if she meant to stop the conversation. “Look, let’s not ruin tonight by talking about an obviously sore subject. This happened years ago, so who cares? Now that the boys are arriving, let’s give them their space and go to The Bobbly Olive for a few cocktails.”

  I glanced over my shoulder at John and that woman Paxton had been talking to at the cocktail party two weeks ago—Ruthie. The pair of them were watching us, with faces that screamed If a fight is imminent, take it outside.

  “Fine,” I said, making for the door. “Since this is obviously so important, let’s talk outside.”

  “I mean, that’s not what I meant …” Carla mumbled as the group paid their tab and left Reilly’s.

  Nick linked arms with me. “What’s going on?” he asked.

  “Hell if I know.”

  I turned to face the two women as we made our way to The Bobbly Olive.

  “What’s your problem with me? What did I ever do to you for you to have such a low opinion of me?”

  Melanie rolled her eyes. “It’s not as if you ever did anything to us. Besides, we’d have wanted nothing to do with you after what happened to Paxton.”

  I rephrased my question. “Tell me what happened to Paxton, or I swear to God I’ll slap it out of you.”

  Lauren’s face darkened. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Carla nervously run a hand through her hair, as if she knew the night was about to change.

  “You know what, Rose, when you act like this, I can totally see why you and Brady would have been perfect for each other,” Lauren said. “You’re both bullies.”

  “What are you talking about?” I all but roared, furious and confused.

  “Paxton,” Melanie yelled in answer. “Brady went after him because of you. I can’t believe the poor guy had to go through all that bullshit he did because you blurted out his name in your little ruse.”

  “What?”

  It was the question I’d been about to ask, but I hadn’t gotten the word out.

  It was Paxton who spoke.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Paxton

  It was inevitable that we were going to come across the women during their bachelorette p
arty. This was Frazier Falls, and there were only so many places to go.

  I’d expected I’d hear a lot of outrageous stories from both Owen’s and Carla’s years at high school throughout the evening. I hadn’t expected to hear something that changed my entire outlook on my high school life.

  “Paxton.” A woman I vaguely remembered was shouting to the group of women on the sidewalk. We had gotten into earshot of them on our way to Reilly’s.

  The entire bachelor party immediately perked up to listen when they heard my name spoken so loudly.

  “Brady went after him because of you,” the woman continued.

  What was she talking about? Any mention of Brady put me on edge.

  “I can’t believe the poor guy had to go through all that bullshit he did because you blurted out his name in your little ruse.”

  I froze. Brady had made my life a living hell for Rose?

  “What?” I heard myself ask out loud as the two wedding parties came together on the street. I located Rose almost immediately. She seemed as immobile as I was.

  The woman who’d spoken flinched when she saw me.

  “Paxton, I didn’t realize you guys were around the corner from us. I—”

  “What are you talking about?” I demanded. “Brady went … Brady did everything he did because of Rose?”

  Rose’s eyes were wide like she’d seen a ghost. “Paxton, it isn’t like that.”

  “Then what was it like? Because it sounds an awful lot like Brady Huck started bullying me because of you.”

  The woman who’d spoken in the first place shifted uncomfortably. “That’s because it’s true,” she explained. “Rose said she couldn’t go out with him because of you, so he went after you.”

  Rose looked at the woman in outrage. “That was not what happened.” She took a few steps toward me, but I backed away. “Paxton, that’s not what—”

  “Brady told you he liked you, and you used me?”

  “Yes, but—”

  “You used me as an excuse to, what? Not go out with him? Or…”

  Or maybe she’d said it knowing Brady would start bothering me.

  She stared at me as if she knew the conclusion I’d reached. “It’s not what you’re thinking. Listen to me. Why would I even do that? Why would—”

  I put my hand up to stop her from talking. I needed to think. I needed to—I didn’t know what I needed.

  It certainly wasn’t Rose trying to get out of something else that was clearly her responsibility. If what I went through was her fault, it was unforgivable.

  “Do you know what I had to go through because of him?” Not caring that there were close to twenty people standing on the sidewalk listening to what I said, I decided it was time to come clean.

  Owen stared at me. Eli looked on with his lips pursed as if this entire confrontation was a long time coming, and he had no intention of stopping it. Carla and Rich and Emily looked on as if they were half a second away from stepping in to try and calm everything down.

  Rose looked at me with guilt-ridden eyes, which was all I needed to see.

  “He convinced two of my teachers that I’d been cheating on my mid-terms, so I failed.” My voice was quiet, but it grew louder as I continued. “He stole my bag every other day, and I’d find it, dripping wet, in my locker when it was time to go home. He hung me upside-down from the bleachers.” My voice grew louder. “He threw me in the creek in the middle of winter, keeping my head below the surface until I was certain I would drown. He threatened to cut my tongue out, knife in hand, since I wasn’t using it anyway. He—”

  “Paxton, stop,” Rose cried as she tried to close the distance between us. “I had no idea Brady ever went so far.”

  “That’s the only reason you feel bad? Because you never knew he’d go so far? Did you want him to bully me, so I knew my place? So you could make my life a misery?”

  “That’s not what I’m saying. I didn’t know. This wasn’t because of me.”

  “Yes, he did all of that because of you!” I roared. “I went through hell because of you. God, I was so stupid.”

  All around, people stared. If the roles were reversed, I’d definitely be staring, but the looks of pity on everyone’s faces were unbearable, especially my brothers.

  Owen looked stricken. He had no clue any of this had ever gone on.

  Even Eli was pale. I’d never told him the specifics of what Brady had done to me. I had inferred it was terrible, but I imagine hearing exactly what the man had done back in high school shed a new light on everything.

  “Brady did all of that?” a voice in the crowd murmured. “Geez.”

  “Rose got him to, and that makes it worse.” Melanie pointed at her.

  “I didn’t,” she protested. She looked like a rabbit trapped by a fox. “I didn’t know.”

  “You obviously wanted something to happen to Paxton,” Lauren said. “Otherwise, why would you have brought him up to Brady in the first place? Why Paxton of all people? He was easy prey.”

  “Didn’t Rose bully Paxton back in middle school?” someone added on.

  “I thought it was elementary school,” another voiced.

  “How many years have passed, and it’s still going on? That’s ridiculous,” Emily grumbled.

  “I didn’t—it wasn’t— Paxton, let me talk to you in private,” Rose begged, trying to grab on to my sleeve.

  I pulled away from her. “Don’t touch me. All this time, it was you. It always goes back to you. Always.”

  “Paxton —”

  “No.”

  Unable to cope with the people watching me, I turned and walked away.

  I never wanted to look at or touch or listen to Rose again. I was done.

  “Paxton, wait up,” Eli called out as he ran after me.

  I didn’t slow down, but eventually, he reached my side.

  Neither of us said anything until we were well away from the group. All I wanted was a bottle of whiskey and my bed.

  When we reached my front door, he stopped me. “Wait, let’s talk about this.”

  “What is there to talk about? Rose turned Brady loose on me. I went through hell for her amusement. Years of relentless torture.”

  He shook his head. “I’m not sure about that.”

  “You doubt anything we heard?”

  “No, but I don’t think that kind of malicious bullying is Rose’s thing.”

  “Oh, so you’re suddenly on her side?”

  “Paxton, shut the hell up.”

  Eli’s lips stretched into a thin line. He was more of the stand back and judge guy, not the step up and fight guy unless it came to me.

  “I’m not coming to her defense, but the two of you seemed to have talked over everything Rose did to you in the past and made peace with it. As much as it pains me to say it, I like her.”

  “You like her?”

  “Let me finish. You think she would deliberately set Brady on you? She seemed to be as shocked as you were by the accusation.”

  “She’s only affected because she got caught,” I spat. “She had me believing she’d changed, that she was sorry. She had me…” She has me falling in love with her.

  “Pax, I’m the most cynical person you’ll ever meet, and I don’t believe she acted with malice. Not then, and not now.”

  I opened my front door. “People don’t change. Rose would have had me believe she was never part of what happened. She’d have told me about it if it were innocent. She could have made fun of me over it, but she didn’t. She kept silent because she didn’t want me to know.”

  “Maybe she didn’t know.”

  I laughed. The sound was hideously sinister. “I highly doubt that. You were right all along to not like her. Congratulations on being the only one to see through her act.”

  “Pax—”

  I slammed the door.

  Grabbing a half-full bottle of whiskey from my kitchen, I collapsed onto my bed and swallowed copious amounts.

  I couldn�
��t believe this was happening to me. Would I have been content with carrying on things with Rose the way they’d been going, blissfully unaware of the hand she had in my hell of a life?

  I took another swig. Only a fool chose ignorance. It was better to know. Better to steer clear of a woman who’d never had my best interests at heart.

  In my pocket, my cell phone buzzed incessantly. I pulled it out, tempted to launch it across my room to watch it smash to pieces. Instead, I unlocked it to see who was trying to contact me.

  Almost everyone I knew, it seemed.

  I’d missed calls from Owen, concerned messages from Carla and Emily and Rich, stupid social media updates alluding to drama occurring at the bachelor and bachelorette parties.

  No message from Rose. I didn’t know why I expected there to be. Maybe so she could continue groveling for forgiveness while she maintained her innocence.

  She knew it had gone too far. There was nothing she could say to change my mind. I thought about the last two and a half weeks, and how so much had changed between the two of us, but nothing had really changed.

  Rose was still toying with me like I was a plaything instead of a person. Better to know what she was truly like rather than miss her when she was gone.

  Even the notion of getting to a point where I would miss her put me on edge. She had completely messed with my head. And my heart, though I hated to admit it.

  Swigging more whiskey, I leaned back in bed and closed my eyes, begging for my thoughts of her to become vacant.

  Damn if she didn’t stay there. Wouldn’t go away. Everything she’d done, everything she’d said and hadn’t.

  The apology was only given because she wanted something from me. She was bored and in Frazier Falls. She wanted attention. Never once had she said she cared for me because this was all one of her games.

  My thoughts grew darker and darker as every memory the two of us had made over the past couple of weeks became sullied. Part of me didn’t want to do this. Part of me wanted to keep the memories the way they were. I’d enjoyed myself, so why couldn’t I keep that good feeling?