Lessons in Love

by Kathryn R. Blake

  Since the ruse was a dead end, Pam didn't answer.

  "Krista, give Pam your phone. I want to speak with her directly."

  Krista held out her cell and mouthed, "Sorry."

  Pam accepted it. Closed her eyes and said, "Hello?"

  "What's going on, Pam?"

  "Nothing. I'm fine. I just don't want to talk to you right now, so please stop calling." She pressed end and handed the phone back to Krista as it chimed again.

  "Oh, great. Good job. Telling him not to call certainly did the trick. Hello?" Short pause. "No, Rob, she doesn't want to talk to you, and I can't make her." Krista winced as she listened. "You'll need to discuss that with her, sir." A slightly longer pause that had Krista wincing. "Yes, I do realize that's difficult to do since she refuses to speak with you, but I can't be in the middle like this. I'm sorry, sir." A much longer pause. "Yes, I'll tell her." A beat. "I will. Thank you, sir. Bye."

  Krista shoved her phone into her purse. "He said that he's booked himself on the next flight out and, when he gets home, he intends to have a long talk with you. If you're not at the house, he'll find you, but you two are going to hash out whatever the problem is. And that's paraphrasing slightly, but you get the gist. I don't think he'll try calling again."

  "Thanks, Krista. For everything. I realize I put you in a difficult position, and I regret needing to do it."

  With a nod Krista pulled out of their parking space and headed toward Pam's apartment.

  "He's not angry with you, is he?"

  "Well, he's not happy, but, no, I don't think he blames me. He asked me to wait with you until he arrives. He doesn't want you alone."

  As the hopelessness of her situation consumed her, Pam covered her face with her hands. "I want to stay strong, but just hearing his voice makes me want to crumple into a small ball."

  "Yeah. I get that. He's a dynamic person, and you two grew especially close over the last few days. But what you saw today was from your past, Pam. It can only impact your future if you allow it to."

  Wiping her eyes, Pam attempted a smile. "Thanks."

  * * *

  Though all her furniture remained where she'd left it, as Pam expected, most everything else except her pictures and appliances had been removed. Luckily, her water and electric were still on, but her fridge had been emptied and cleaned. Further investigation showed she still had pillows, clean sheets, and towels, so she and Krista went out to buy a few groceries. Enough to get her through the next couple of days, until she decided what to do next. Krista encouraged her not to purchase too much, since she doubted Pam would be staying long.

  Once they got back, she helped Pam make the bed and put a chicken-veggie salad together for them to eat later. With nothing else left to do, but wait, they sat down to watch TV, when Pam's home phone rang.

  Pam picked it up. "Hello?"

  "Miss Weston? It's Paul."

  Her stomach dropped as she said, "Hi Paul. Did Mr. Peterson call you?"

  "Yes, miss. He requested I pick you up and bring you home."

  "Thank you, Paul, but no. I'm staying here."

  "Is Miss Rensler still with you?"

  "Yes. She was given orders not to leave until Mr. Peterson gets here."

  "All right. Mrs. Andrews would like to speak with you." Pam closed her eyes.

  "I'm disappointed in you, lass. You broke your word to me."

  "I know, Della. I'm sorry, but—"

  "Look, it's no business of mine what you and Mr. Peterson argue about, but he wasn't happy with me for letting you leave like that. Your actions put me in the middle, and that's not what friends do to each other."

  Recognizing she'd placed both of her new friends in jeopardy with their boss, Pam's guilt multiplied. "I understand. I'm sorry, Della."

  "That's all well and good, but Mr. Peterson wants you home. Stayin' there won't get you what you want, either. I'd like you to reconsider and let Paul bring you back."

  Pam covered her eyes with her hands. "I can't, Della. I'm sorry, but I need to be where I feel most secure."

  "You're not secure here?"

  "That's Mr. Peterson's home, not mine. This is my apartment. It's where I belong."

  "Except you broke your word to both me and Mr. Peterson by running away, didn't you?"

  Pam sighed. Despite the guilt eating her up inside, broken promises were the least of her worries at the moment. "Yeah, but I didn't get far, and I'm not alone. Mr. Peterson clearly knows I'm here, so it's not like I fled to China."

  "True, but I think things might go easier if you were also where he prefers you to be."

  "You're kind to worry about me, Della, but I'm fine, and I'd prefer to stay here."

  "As you wish, lass, but if you choose to come home at some point, I think you and I need to have a little chat about trust."

  "Yes, ma'am. Good-night, Della, and thank you for caring."

  Putting the receiver back, Pam slumped against the couch.

  "Been there, done that. Della's scoldings might be mild, but they still sting. She cares about you."

  "I know."

  "She considers you family and feels like you betrayed her."

  "Oh, Krista, please don't make me feel worse. I'm miserable enough as it is."

  "I don't mean to, but I thought you should understand how we all feel about you. Believe me; I wouldn't go on the lam for just any of Rob's administrative assistants."

  Pam laughed through her tears. "Maybe we should eat something. You're getting goofy again, so you must be hungry."

  As they sat at her kitchen table, Pam was unwillingly drawn back to her first day with Rob, when he bought her dinner, ate with her, then helped her clean up. He didn't need to do any of that if he only viewed her as a pet project. And, yet, she shouldn't forget Robert Peterson never did anything without a purpose. What better way for a man to cement his connection with a lady than to wine and dine her on her own turf. Get her comfortable and relaxed before easing her into a disciplinary relationship. Realizing reviewing their past would only make her stomach churn, Pam let Krista draw her out with some fun dinner conversation.

  By nine o'clock, the food was eaten, the dishes were washed and put away, and she and Krista were sitting together on the couch when a firm knock sounded at the door.

  "Want me to get it? I won't be able to hold him off long, but it will give you a few more seconds to gather your thoughts."

  "Thanks," Pam answered with a grateful smile.

  She tried to remain calm as Krista opened the door.

  "Mr. Peterson. What a surprise. We weren't expecting you here tonight."

  "Funny girl," he replied, but there wasn't a hint of humor in his voice. "May I come in?"

  "How kind of you to ask, sir. But, out of curiosity, what would happen if I said no?"

  "I wouldn't advise it, but if you're feeling adventurous, go ahead and try, Miss Rensler."

  Krista promptly stepped aside. "Please, do come in, sir."

  "Thank you." And, three seconds later, he stood directly in front of Pam with his arms crossed over his chest. "Care to tell me what's going on?"

  Though the man standing before her was clearly angry, Pam could tell he was worried as well. Attempting a smile, she said, "Good evening, Mr. Peterson. May I offer you something to drink, sir? I fear the variety is a bit limited since someone elected to clean out my pantry for me, but I bought some cola."

  Rob unfolded his arms and leaned forward so he towered over her. "This is not a good time to play games with me, little girl. I want to know why you left the house to come here, and why you refused to talk to me earlier."

  "My. You don't want much, do you?"

  His eyebrows snapped together, and his thunderous expression warned Pam she was seconds away from securing a trip over his knee. But if he thought she'd go quietly, he was sadly mistaken.

  "There are much easier ways for you to gain my attention than running away. Unless you start talking now, however, I'll assume you wish for me to redden you
r bottom, and let me say I am more than willing and eager to oblige you in that regard."

  "Um." Krista cleared her throat. "Would you guys rather be alone?"

  "Yes, we would," Rob bit out.

  Pam scowled at him before she turned around to smile at Krista. "Thanks for staying, Krista, but I'm sure I'll be fine."

  Krista looked doubtful, but gathered up her purse and gave Pam the hand gesture for "call me," offered a small wave, and left.

  Pam turned back to face Rob. "You want to know what's wrong, Mr. Peterson? Krista and I took a trip behind the red door earlier today. Quite an interesting collection you keep there."

  Rob closed his eyes and sighed then dropped into the armchair stationed perpendicular to the couch. "I wanted to be with you when you did that."

  "Why? So you could hide things from me?"

  "No. So, I could explain them."

  "What's to explain? You created a kinky playroom, complete with sound system and DVD player."

  "Pam…. I've never used that room. I built it for a young woman I was seeing who had a strong need for pain, but she took her own life before I even had a chance to show it to her. It's been locked ever since."

  "Except to add a certain notebook chock full of delightful photos and privileged information."

  "Ah, that."

  "So, what? Did you think I was a charity case in need of a makeover and rehabilitation?"

  "No. Though I did think I could help you. Actually, I thought we might be able to help each other."

  "Right." Pam lurched to her feet, but Rob stood up and grasped her wrist to stop her.

  "Hear me out, first, then you can rip me a new one, if you're so inclined."

  Pam turned away. "I feel like a fool."

  Rob reached out to gently grasp her chin and turned her to face him. "I've told you time and again that I possess no hidden agenda or secret desire to change who you are. Yes, I did consider you to be a wounded soul, but I saw a sparkle in you that I feared the system would only dull."

  Pam pulled away from him. "How long were you watching me?"

  "Since the prison psychologist phoned to tell me about you."

  Pam sank back on the couch, so Rob took a seat beside her. "I don't understand. Mr. Brinkley called you? Why?"

  He wrapped his fingers around her trembling hand. "The girl who killed herself happened to be a mutual acquaintance of ours, and, after her death, Peter and I grew to be friends. He understood Marilyn was troubled but thought she was starting to improve with our relationship. Neither of us saw the warning signs until it was too late. Anyway, he said you were bright, eager to learn, and proved very efficient with the light office work he'd given you, and you seemed to enjoy it. However, because of your record, he thought you'd have difficulty securing employment."

  "So, like the knight on a white charger, you galloped to the rescue."

  "No, I asked him to send me some information about you—"

  Turning to face him head on, she asked, "Was he the one who sent you those god-awful photos?"

  "Officially, I don't possess any snapshots of you in prison, or your records. You understand that, don't you?"

  "So, you won't tell me who gave them to you?"

  "I can't. It could cost many people their jobs. Suffice it to say, after I did some research on my own—"

  "Translation. You hired a private eye to dig up dirt on me."

  He clenched his jaw, then relaxed it. "Very well, have it your way. After the detective corroborated my suspicions, I contacted your parole officer and suggested he send you over to interview for a position."

  Stomach churning and too antsy to remain seated, Pam lurched to her feet. "So, was everyone in on this 'deal' of yours except me?"

  Rob rose to stand before her. "Not everyone, though several people needed to understand my objectives for the plan to work. That said, your interview with HR was quite real."

  "Yeah, I saw it, too." Wanting to cry, but refusing to be so weak in front of him, she turned away. "Isn't it illegal to tape someone without their prior knowledge?"

  Placing his hands on her waist, he moved directly behind her, pulled her close, and spoke into her ear. "Kitten, most everything I did to get you into my company was stretching the law."

  "So, nothing between us was real, was it?"

  Rob's fingers tightened as he turned her to face him. "Of course not," he replied, his tone dripping with sarcasm. "I left a business meeting and dropped everything to rush back here and talk to you because I enjoy playing games." When she blinked several times to keep her tears at bay, he asked, "What do you think?"

  "I'm not sure what to think anymore. Finding you collected all that information on me was unsettling."

  He let out a soft sigh. "I'm sorry. I can imagine it was."

  Pam swiped at her eyes. "You're an important CEO of two multi-billion dollar enterprises, and I'm nobody. People like you don't end up with people like me, except in fairy tales."

  "Consider that your first strike, kitten. How many times must I tell you that you're special to me? That I judge you valuable enough to—"

  "Why?"

  "Pardon me?"

  "Why am I worthy of your time? Of all the people you could choose, why me?"

  He inhaled deeply. "My reasons for wanting to be with you, have significantly altered since the day you showed up in my office."

  "Oh, you mean that first morning when you treated me like I was an inconvenience?"

  His lip twitched slightly, and she realized he was struggling not to smile, which pissed her off even more. "And you know full well why I spoke to you the way I did."

  "You wanted to put pressure on me to do well, so I would strive even harder not to fail." She hesitated, remembering, "But your plan backfired when I fell apart, didn't it?"

  "Not without cause, Pam. Your self-image is something we've been addressing for a while. Your job isn't to prove your worth by working yourself to death, but it is my responsibility to get you to recognize and accept you are indeed a person with value."

  "Okay, I can buy that. I was a mess, and you sought to 'fix' my perceptions of myself. So, what's different for you now? What changed?"

  "Quite simply, you did. Or more correctly, perhaps, you changed me."

  "I don't understand."

  He leaned closer. "You trusted me, and I considered that trust to be a precious gift. You were never after me for my money, or the prestige of working for the CEO. In fact, you deemed both of those things a deterrent to a relationship between us. That's never happened to me before. Everyone I worked with always wanted something, but you, who probably had the most to gain from my help, eschewed it. All you wanted was to provide me with what you thought I needed. You even insisted I eat lunch. Do you realize no one has ever done that for me?"

  When she shook her head, he continued. "You stood up to me with little hesitation. Even when I gave you a look that had businessmen trembling in their trousers, you gave me back sass. You had the ability to make me laugh even when all I wanted to do was tan your butt. You convinced me to re-assess my viewpoint on so many things. Simply put, I liked being around you."

  Unable to help herself, Pam leaned toward him until their lips touched in a tender, yet still sensuous kiss. Next thing she knew, he pulled her down onto his lap and was devouring her.

  After a moment, he drew back, "You're still not forgiven for running away, you know?"

  She shrugged. "I had a good reason."

  "You think so? Did you honestly believe what we had together was merely a game for me? Have you so little faith?"

  "No. I don't know. I was angry and confused. I saw those pictures, and all I could think of was how much better you could do than me. I'm broken, and even you must admit that."

  "That's two," he said very softly. "And that's your last warning. Third time, I take action."

  "Rob, you can't seriously be threatening to spank me."

  "Wrong. I can, and I will, if you press me further."
<
br />   "But how can I participate in an honest, heartfelt conversation with you if you're going to punish me for being truthful?"

  "That's not why I'd be punishing you. The point is, I want you to see yourself the way I see you. You aren't broken, Pam."

  "I could disagree with you."

  "You could, but I wouldn't advise it."

  She laid her head against his chest. "You can't beat me into liking myself."

  "One, I wouldn't be beating you, and, two, you can't start liking yourself until you accept that your justifications for putting yourself down are unfounded. That's the part I'm helping you understand."

  "You're bullying me."

  "No, I'm merely correcting your perception."

  "Tomato, tomahto. It's all the same to me."

  "And I will happily demonstrate the difference."

  She drew back a bit to gaze into his eyes. "You honestly think we have a chance?"

  "No, I know we do, but you need to be willing to listen to me. Feeding me back what you think I want to hear but believing something else will not work anymore. I'll call you on it faster than you can say 'Ow.'"

  "I need to be my own person and make my own mistakes."

  "Well, you'll have to help me in that regard, because keeping you safe and happy is of paramount importance to me. If you want to defy me by getting yourself into trouble, we'll have problems."

  "But what about risks that don't jeopardize my safety? Will you let me take those?"

  "Like what?"

  "Like going out on a shopping spree with Krista on occasion."

  "Hmm. We'll talk."

  "And what about making love to me? Is sex listed anywhere on your future agenda?"

  He laughed aloud, then gazed at her warmly. "Yes, kitten, I fully intend to make love to you tonight. Is that soon enough for you?"

  Pam shrugged. "It's a start."

  "So, are you finally ready to believe I love you for who you are, and not some imaginary woman you think I want?"

  She stared at him. "That's the first time you said you loved me."

  His eyes sparkled as he leaned closer. "Then I've been terribly remiss in my duties and shall amend my ways forthwith. And, if I may ask, what are your feelings for me?"