by Cee, DW
“Mama.” Ali brought me back to reality. Her big, toothy grin made my heart do somersaults from here to Los Angeles. This little girl was the reason for my existence these days.
“You want more fruit, Ali-Girl?”
She nodded her beautiful head. “Dada.”
“Your daddy is in a meeting with some Hollywood producer. Hopefully, he’ll get the job so he can pay for that little pink grand piano he purchased at FAO Schwartz yesterday.”
She nodded her red head again.
“Ali!” I heard Cece’s excitement. Ali’s head turned to the call and gave Cece exactly what she wanted—a squeal, a gigantic smile, and hands raised, ready for a hug. “Oh my sweet child. How can I be so in love already? You’re not even mine and I love you like my own.”
“Hello there, Fiancée.” Noah grinned.
“Hi.” I answered shyly. His greeting was a small shock to my heart. Fiancée. I was someone’s fiancée—to be married, to be loved. I cherished that thought. I feared that same thought.
“Good Morning my future daughter-in-law.” Carson hugged me. “Finally, another person in the family who is/was not a Bergstrom. I have felt outnumbered for years. I’m glad you’re joining the Hanover family.”
“Last I checked my son’s name is Bergstrom, not Hanover, which means Marni will take my last name.” Elijah Bergstrom, in all his glory, was in the house!
“Hello to the both of you,” I returned each man’s embrace. “I like this attention. Two debonair men fighting over me. I see why Cece keeps you both around,” I teased.
“Come sit with me, Marni. I think Cecilia has decided to kidnap Ali for her own this morning.”
“Damn you, Carson. You already have Cece. I want Marni with me,” The Admiral kidded, kind of.
“Uh, guys? She’s my fiancée, not yours. I think she should be with me,” Noah demanded.
I enjoyed this familial interaction and wished Mom were here.
Noah pulled me down next to him and everyone else took his and her seats.
“Marni, will you be having babies right away?”
I looked at Cece who showed no shame in wanting grandkids. “Well…I’m not sure. Noah?” I asked.
“I’m all for procreating!” he declared to the chuckle of the men.
“When and where’s the wedding? I need to make sure I’m available.” My future father-in-law asked.
“When will you be back, Admiral?”
“You may no longer call me Admiral. I’m commanding you to call me Dad.”
“Uh, if he gets Dad, I get Dad, too.” Carson chimed.
“If they get Dad, then I get Mom,” Cece spoke those words in between kissing Ali’s cheeks. “Does that make me your grandaunt? I can’t wait to be a grandmother!” She plopped a few more kisses.
Noah and I felt the overflowing Bergstrom/Hanover love; it was sweeter than I deserved.
“Well, Dad.” I addressed the Admiral first. “The wedding will be the first weekend you’re back in New York. And as to where we will have the wedding, I figure New York would be the best place since Mom and the other Dad are located here.” I addressed my other newfound parents.
“I can be back as soon as two weekends from now. Are you sure you can get everything ready by then?”
“I suppose I should ask Noah if he minds, but I’d be all right with a very small, family-only affair. Nothing fancy. If Mom doesn’t mind, we can get married at her apartment or some small restaurant. Maybe Dad Bergstrom can officiate, and Dad Hanover can walk me down the aisle. That would be ideal in my mind. Then everyone can be involved since the moms will most likely plan the wedding.”
“What about your father, Marni?” Noah asked cautiously.
“My father and Jean are still grieving Melody’s loss. It would be nice if they attended the wedding in New York, but I don’t think they will. They’re having a hard time.” I forced myself to hold back any sadness. I didn’t need to dampen this wonderful mood. I was gaining two fathers rather than losing one. He was already lost to me.
“That sounds perfect to all of us.” Cece spoke for everyone at the table. “I’ll call Jackie and we’ll finish our conversation from last night.”
“Marni,” the Admiral said, “We don’t mind flying into Los Angeles. You don’t have to try and work your schedule into ours. Will your brother-in-law be able to bring Ali back to New York so soon?”
Deep down, I knew Ben wouldn’t come to the wedding. Though his response to my engagement was surprisingly tame, I couldn’t imagine him watching the wedding with a happy heart. As much as I wanted Ali to be a part of my joy, I accepted this reality.
“I’ll talk to Ben. You don’t need to concern yourself with him. Just make sure you can officiate our wedding. It would mean a lot to me, and of course to Noah.”
Noah watched but didn’t say anything to contradict me. “If we’re all done here, should we separate so Marni and I can discuss a few things?”
“May I keep Ali with me a little longer? I’ll take her back to the apartment and play with her while you two do your planning.”
An uneasy feeling arose, but I tamped it down. My niece appeared to have no issues playing with Cece. “Are you sure? She’s more work than that cute little face shows the world.”
“I’ll strap her car seat into Carson’s car and we’ll carefully drive our princess home.”
“Ali-Girl. You want to play at Cece’s house? Will you be all right if I leave you for an hour?” Seeing as how she didn’t even look my way, I understood her answer to be yes. “Please call me if there are any issues?”
“Of course.” Cece took off her pearl necklace and put it around Ali’s neck. The obsession with those pearls started yesterday and hadn’t worn off yet. “Leave us all her stuff and go.”
I kissed Ali good-bye and turned back several times to make sure she wasn’t crying with my absence. After the initial wave, she never looked at me again.
“Let’s walk a few blocks. I want to take you somewhere so we can talk.”
“Sure.” I followed his lead. “I’m sorry I made all the wedding decisions in there. I’d be completely fine changing them to your needs. It doesn’t matter to me what we do in terms of the wedding. As you know already, I’m not high maintenance.”
Noah brought me to a gelato shop that had just opened for the day. “For old time’s sake?” He gestured for me to enter after opening the door.
We ordered, we sat, and Noah appeared contemplative.
My heart sank. “Is something wrong? Did I say or do something you didn’t like?” Suddenly, I wondered if he regretted asking me to marry him. He had stayed quiet all morning—a little too quiet for comfort.
I felt so vulnerable and scared at this moment. Usually, I was a stronger person, but I felt unsettled of late. I couldn’t help the tears that formed.
“Marni. No. It’s nothing like that. Don’t cry. Shit.” Noah pulled me into his body. “Where did my Marni go? Where’s the strong woman who could give me and her own happiness up to rescue her helpless niece?”
“I don’t know, Noah. Since I made that decision, nothing has been easy—whether with you or with Ben. Ali and Mom have been my only comfort.”
“Can we be honest with one another today?”
“OK…” I wondered if there was something Noah or I had said or done that hadn’t been honest up until now.
“What happened to you yesterday that put you in such a funk? You’ve been nervous and on edge. It’s as if you’re looking over your shoulder.”
“You noticed that, huh?”
“I notice much about you, my future wife.”
My newfound title made me smile. “So you’re not regretting proposing to me?” The hitch in my voice was unmistakable. The insecurities wouldn’t leave until I heard an affirmation.
Noah brought me right back into his body. “Marni Montgomery. I love you. I want to marry you and create little Alices of our own. If you will still have me, I will be the best husb
and to you and the most incredible father to our children. As an added bonus, you’ll get Carson, Cece, and Elijah as parents and grandparents.”
I cried on his chest for a while. Noah and I had had some rough years, but the pain was worth it. We’d grown up together. Once married, I knew we’d be mature enough to handle any other problems that came our way.
“All right. I’m good now,” I answered with a relieved heart. “What did you want to talk about?”
“Siena and my first marriage.”
That topic was not anywhere on my radar. Did I want to hear about either?
Chapter 2 - Ben
Amnesia ~5 Seconds Of Summer
“Hi Ben.”
“Hey, Mar. I’m so glad you called. I’ve been meaning to call you today. How did we go an entire summer and barely see one another?”
“I wondered that myself. How have you been?”
“Busy. I think this music gig is going to work out after all. I’ve been crazy-inspired these days. Songs are pouring out of me like never before.”
“That’s wonderful, Ben. I knew you’d be successful. You just needed a new inspiration.”
“I guess. How’s school? It just started, right?”
“It did. It’ll be a great year.”
“I’ll try and visit a little more this year. I know I haven’t been the best friend or boyfriend to you.”
“Listen…I wanted to tell you that I think it’s best if we break up.”
“What? Mar. I know we haven’t talked much. I’ve been busy with my career.”
“I know, Ben. I’m not blaming you for anything. I think distance is hard on any couple.”
“Mar. We’ve been together for so long.”
“We have, and I thank you for all those years. I’m truly grateful you’ve been my friend. It would have been difficult growing up by myself.”
“Are you sure this is what you want?”
“I think this is what we both need. Time away will be good for us. You can focus on your career now that you’ve found your inspiration.”
“We’ll still stay friends?”
“Of course, Ben. That’ll never change…I hope.”
“This feels weird, Mar. I can’t remember the last time I was emotionally separated from you.”
“You’ll be fine, Ben. You might even be better off.”
“Mar… If you ever need me for anything, even if it’s just to talk, you’ll reach out?”
“Sure…”
“I guess it’s good-bye? Take care, Mar.”
“One last thing?”
“Sure.”
“I know you weren’t serious, but just in case, I relinquish you from your marriage proposal. Be free to marry whom you love. I know it’s not…me…”
“Mar…”
“Take care, Ben.”
Hell! I didn’t understand why I kept thinking about the time I proposed to Mar. It wasn’t anything serious. We were just teenagers. I feared losing her to the lures of college life and I wanted to tie her to me. Last thing I wanted was for her to meet a like-minded collegian and leave me for a better prospect. Little did I know, I would be the one getting married in my early twenties.
I loved my wife. She was my sun, my moon; the entire solar system revolved around her and me. She treated me like a god and we rarely had cause to disagree on anything. There were times I knew she didn’t like my ideas, but she chose to let go of her wants and needs and support me. There was no better wife than Melody Howard.
Lately, my career flourished, Ali blossomed with all that love and attention, and I had a peace of mind—sort of. My prayers were answered when my baby girl found her caretaker, but my head was filled with question marks.
Where my sister-in-law was concerned, I was tormented. She was on my mind constantly, and I couldn’t figure out why. With her being engaged now, my head and heart wanted nothing to do with the reality that lay ahead.
I worried about Ali and her daycare situation again. If Mar married, where would that place Ali on her priority list? Mar declared her love for my daughter, but when she had kids of her own, what would happen to that love? There was no way Mar would put Ali above her own child. Forcing myself to look into the future, I needed to find someone who would place my baby girl at the top. That probably meant I needed to find another wife.
To remarry—I did not want to think about this so soon. In fact, I didn’t want to think about this at all! In my perfect world, I wanted to live happily ever after with my daughter. There was no one who could possibly replace my late wife.
What was I to do with all these crazy ideas swirling in my head? I didn’t want to lose Marni again. I didn’t want to date again. I sure as hell didn’t want my daughter being passed around at some daycare center again! No matter how much I pushed this idea away, the ideal scenario was Ali, me, and Marni. The three of us worked.
I didn’t want to cause any trouble for Mar and Noah, but I needed her. I maybe even wanted Mar, if I was being honest with myself. As much as that made me an asshole, I knew Mar could work as Ali’s “Mama” and she could easily fit into the role of my new—
No. I would not disrespect my late wife like that. Mar and I had a long history, but history did not make a marriage. Friendship did not make a marriage. Love for my daughter did not make a marriage. I was speaking as if Marni wasn’t already promised to another man.
Soon, I needed to come up with a plan B in case Mar decided she could no longer watch Alice. I had months to think of an alternative. In the meanwhile, I’d talk to Mar and get some answers.
Chapter 2 - Noah
Amnesia ~5 Seconds Of Summer
“Why the frown, Charlie Brown? Tomorrow’s our wedding day! You should be shouting from every rooftop letting everyone know how happy you are!”
“Sorry, Siena. I wasn’t frowning. I was thinking about unnecessary things. I’ll see you tomorrow?”
“You will! I’ll be the most beautiful woman in the room.”
“Is there any doubt? Good-bye Noah. Good-bye Admiral Bergstrom.”
“Bye.”
“Bye.”
“I have no doubt she’s excited to get married. But, I do wonder about your heart. Why are you doing this if she’s not the one for you, Son?”
“Is it that obvious, Dad? I mean, it’s not that I don’t want to marry Siena. I do. The timing isn’t quite right. I’d like to accomplish a few other things before I settle down.”
“Take it from a man who’s full of regrets, if this isn’t what you want, walk away. Marriage is forever.”
“You didn’t want marriage with Mom?”
“It was the divorce I didn’t want.”
“I don’t know what to do, Dad. I believe Siena and I love each other.”
“But?”
“But, I still think of Marni. Our last exchange in her hotel room haunts me. I shouldn’t have let her walk away without a fight. I think I gave up too easily.”
“Is it guilt that’s plaguing you or Marni herself? You’re a good kid, Noah. You’re feeling guilty for hurting Marni. Maybe you’re purposely making yourself unhappy so you won’t feel bad about getting married to Siena? If so, that’s not fair to your future wife. She deserves to be happy with you.”
“I’m so confused, Dad. My head hurts when I think about all this. I don’t want to be responsible for the misery of two women.”
“You’ll be a good husband, Noah. We Bergstrom men love our women. Be good to the woman in your bed.”
“Thanks, Dad.”
“Hey. Did I lose you?”
“Sorry, Mar. What’d you say?”
“I said I don’t need any guilty recanting of your first marriage, but if it’s something you must do, then I’m all ears.”
“I need to start this topic by asking why you gave up on me so easily our last night together, Mar.”
“I could ask you the same question.” She hesitated briefly, and then added, “I knew the inevitable, Noah. After Ben, I wanted
to be someone’s love, not someone’s guilty conscience. I also felt incredibly betrayed by you. Of all people…with the way you pursued me…with the amount of attention and affection you showed me...you were the last one I thought would cheat on me.” I tried to protest, but she wanted her say. “Maybe you didn’t physically cheat, but your body already belonged to Siena. The brief interaction I saw between you two the night of your birthday party, I knew you were on your way to falling in love with her, if not already there.”
“OK.” I blew out a hard breath. “Perhaps this was a bad idea. I should have started with an apology.”
“Noah. You’ve apologized enough. I don’t need anymore.”
“I know when we re-met in New York, I did and said everything I needed to so we could get together again. But now that we’re getting married, I want to explain everything to you so there are no surprises after we’re married.”
“All right. I’m listening.”
I sat comfortably and started my tale. “Siena and I met the summer before our freshman year in college. Our chemistry was instant and we started a relationship.” Marni fidgeted in her seat. Could what I was doing be more detrimental to our relationship than I thought? “However, our relationship ended as quickly as it started. I wanted to get serious about school and my future, and Siena wanted to forever live a high school romance.”
“You were both young. I suppose that’s how Ben and I were. I wanted him to follow me to college and make something of himself. He, on the other hand, believed he could become somebody without taking the old-fashioned route.”
“When I started at NYU, I had every intention of honoring my commitment to you. At first, it was really school that separated us. I could barely keep my head above water. For the first time in my life, I didn’t have control and it scared me. Failure was not an option, being the son of a high-ranking Navy Admiral. I couldn’t embarrass my father.”
